Then Kiss Me (38 page)

He nodded.  “I know.”

I swallowed and kept talking, telling him about Barry and what had happened last night after we drove away.  I told him about my entire relationship with Barry, from beginning to end.  It was almost dark by the time I was done.  Why the mosquitoes
hadn’t attacked us, I’ll never know.  I said, “Sorry he punched you.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I feel like it was.”

“So he’s one fucked-up dude, huh?”

“No…just deluded, I guess.  He thinks all relationships are based solely on sex.”

“They are, aren’t they?”

What?  Was he serious?  I looked at
him
.  Good old Scott, a big grin on his face.  I chuckled a little and he let out a hearty laugh.  The tension eased.

“Very funny.”
  He
was
humorous
, something I at
first had to become accustomed to, but it was now something I had grown to appreciate.  Like everything about Scott, I loved it all.  “That’s not entirely true or fair, though.  I think
he’s just having
to grow up like I have.”  And it was time to fully mature.  I wanted to grab Scott’s hand or place my hand on his knee,
just touch him,
but I didn’t think the timing was right yet.  I let out a sigh.  “Anyway, I know I hurt you when I left.  And I also know I hurt you yesterday by telling you everything.  I’m…really sorry, Scott.  I never meant to hurt you.”

He looked off to the side.  His voice was steady, calm, quiet.  “Don’t worry about it.  I’m used to it.”

I had to give him credit.  He was doing a great job sounding casual.  I, on the other hand, was near tears again, but somehow I managed to hold it together.
  I tried but couldn’t raise my volume.  It didn’t matter.  He still heard me when I said, “There’s something I still haven’t told you.”

He looked over at me and I forced myself to look in his eyes.  His were clouded with questions.  I’d already overwhelmed him since my return.  I could hear the caution in his voice when he asked, “What?”

I paused, biting my lip, so afraid to say the words.  They were the only words that mattered anymore, and they were heavy with that realization.  So my tongue and my mind struggled.  I was afraid of what he would say, how he would respond, but I knew it was the only card I had left to play, and it wasn’t fair to hold it close to my chest any longer.  I forced myself to continue looking in his eyes.  “I love you.”

His eyes softened
and he blinked twice
.  “What did you say?”  He didn’t believe he’d heard me right.

It was easier this time.  “I love you, Scott.”  He didn’t say a word.  Did he believe me?  Had I said too much?  It didn’t matter anymore.  I’d unstopped the dam and it was all going to gush out.  “I’ve never loved
anyone,
never
will
love anyone, like I love you.  It was fucking stupid to not tell you before.” 
Jesus fucking Christ.
  What was he
thinking
?  Was he going to laugh at me?  Tell me to leave?  Did he even give a shit?

He grabbed me and pulled me close, but he still didn’t say anything.  I couldn’t see his face.  His body up against mine felt right but I had no visual confirmation.  I couldn’t see his expression and he hadn’t said a word.  Had I scared him off now?

After a minute or so, he moved his hands to my shoulders and pushed me back a little so he could look in my eyes.  “Don’t play games with me, Casey.”

“I’m not.  Scott, I’m not lying.  I love you.  I never loved Barry, and I hadn’t realized that until recently.  He and I never should have married.  What a mistake that was.  But I swear to you, I love you.  That’s the main reason I ran.  I was scared of having another doomed relationship, and it wouldn’t have been so scary if I didn’t care so much.”

He sat in silence for a while, looking down at his hands.  Was he thinking I was a fool?
  I just sat there, my muscles tense, and I wondered what the fuck was going through his head.  At last, he turned back to me and held me by my shoulders again.  He said, “Casey…this is your last chance.  You can’t turn back.  If you commit to me, you do it all the way.  No more running off, no more keeping secrets from me.”  I simply nodded, now lost in his words and those green eyes of his.

He stood up then, pacing.  He was deep in thought and I didn’t want to interrupt him.  I’d already said everything I was comfortable saying without knowing what was going on inside him.  Then he squatted in front of me.  His voice tender, he whispered, “I love you too, Casey.”  I kissed him then, letting myself drown in emotion.

He sat beside me again and took one of my hands in his.  He looked at my hand and said, “Look…I know you’re feeling scared and unsure…but I’ve given this a lot of thought.
  You know David’s
gonna
move in with Gerald, right?  Well, I was thinking maybe…we could…uh…start over, but…maybe we could…try something different.” 
Holy
shit
.
  He was nervous as hell.  I’d never seen Scott tongue-tied like this.  He sucked in a deep breath.  “I don’t know what you’re comfortable with.  I just…I’m just tired of being fucked over.  I just need to know this is for real.”

“Scott
,” I said, now feeling more certain
and feeling a little devilish to boot, “stop beating around the bush.  Are you asking me to move in with you?”

He looked at me, his eyes sparkling.  Hadn’t we done this before?  “What if I am?”

I smiled.  “Because if you’re not, I guess I’m going to have to keep talking for a while.  But if you are, I just might have to kiss you.”

He sat there a second, a big grin spreading over his face.  “Then kiss me.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice.  I
did kiss him and then I felt his forgiveness and love wash over me.  Everything was all right. 
Actually, no.
  It was more than all right.  It was perfect.  “Yes, I’ll move in with you.  But why don’t you move into David’s room and I’ll take yours?”  He cocked his head and I started laughing.

“You smartass.”

“You know it.”  I gazed in his eyes and I could almost see it…many good years together, maybe even full of children and grandchildren, but definitely full of happiness and more than I could even imagine.  “Actually, I think I
like
your bedroom, but maybe you could use David’s old room to store your drums.”

His eyes glinted.  “Well, you’ll need room for your artwork too.  How about we split it?”

“Deal,” I said, holding out my hand to shake.  He grabbed it and laughed and then pulled me into an affirming kiss.  It was a kiss that said
forever
, and that’s all I needed to know.

Also by Jade C. Jamison:

Remember Riley from
Tangled Web
?  Now you can read
his
story!

Everything But

High school English teacher Erin Lancaster is stuck with the unwelcome job of filling in for the
injured
cheerleading coach, but she wants to back out when she discovers she has to
be
auctioned as a date during the annual spring fundraiser.  She’s horrified to find her rock star crush Riley Schultz will be
playing emcee for the event, b
ut she’s even more shocked when he also happens to be the highest bidder for her affections, and sparks fly when she discovers that maybe their attraction is mutual. 
W
ill one week together be enough for them to
quell the flames, to enjoy everything but?

Enjoy the following excerpt from
Everything But
:

“Can I walk you to your car?”

Erin couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face. 
“If you really want to.”

Riley dropped his voice as he pushed the door open for her.  “Yeah, I do, but I also need an excuse to get away, if you catch my drift.”

She nodded.  Well,
that
didn’t do much for her ego, but she couldn’t fault him for honesty.  “So…do you ever get used to that?”

“What? 
The girls?”

“Well, yeah, but also the attention.”

“Yes and no.”  She started walking down the stairs in front of the school and he followed suit.  “I mean…at first, it was cool. 
Crowds of people surrounding us, and, yeah, mostly girls.
  And I got more of the attention than the other guys, because I was the face for the band, if you know what I mean.  But after a while, you realize you have no privacy anymore, and people don’t respect your need for it.  They figure you’re
famous,
you deserve the attention you get.  And sometimes I’m cool with that.  It comes with the territory.  But a lot of times it’s unwanted.  Sorry, but if I’m buying my niece an ice cream cone, I don’t want someone with a camera snapping pictures of it, and I sure as hell don’t want a bunch of girls screaming and pawing at me when I need to keep my eye on a four-year-old child who’s trusting me to take care of her.”

Erin nodded.  “Understandable.”

They continued walking across the parking lot.  It was dark out, but there were plenty of lights in the parking lot to guide their way.  It was a little cool out but not too chilly, and Erin knew hot days were just around the corner.  This time of year it was pleasant, reminding her of one of the reasons she’d wanted to remain in Colorado.  Cool, crisp air in the spring and fall, surrounded by the extreme weather that made her appreciate the in-between seasons even more. 
“But, hell.
  You didn’t want to hear me whine about how my life sucks.”

Erin laughed.  “I asked.”

Riley’s head moved up and down slowly.  “True.  You did. 
But what about you, Ms. Erin Lancaster?
  What’s your life like?”

She shook her head, glancing his way but afraid to get sucked in by those piercing brown eyes.  She looked back in front of her.  She saw her tame car just across the way, because there weren’t many cars left in the lot.  Her car was a small white sedan, very
teacherly
, and the only
reason she’d ever bought it was because it was conservative.  She needed a reliable car and she didn’t need to blow money on something just because it was pretty or sporty, even if she wanted to deep down.  “Oh, probably pretty much what you think it is.  I teach a bunch of high school kids throughout the year and usually find a part-time job during the summers to keep myself busy.  I also do a little academic writing during my breaks, writing literary analysis for journals…just for the fun of it.  But…uh…I do a little camping and go to concerts during the summer, and—”

“I thought so.”

“Thought what?”

“You acted like you recognized me.”  They reached her car and stood beside it.

“You could
tell
?”  She felt her face grow warm.

“Well…it was a guess. 
A good one, apparently.”
  She felt her lips twitch into a smile but she was afraid to say much more.  Riley cleared his throat and she allowed herself to drown in his gaze.  Oh, shit.  That was dangerous, because now
,
being the only thing in his eyesight made her feel captive.  Her heartbeat kicked up a notch and she felt her mouth start to water. And the seconds dragged on and she started to feel more nervous.  Part of her just wanted to kiss him, famous rock star or not.  She’d seen his picture a thousand times, but it couldn’t do justice to the real Riley Schultz.  He was magnetic and…
hot
.  She felt her extremities begin to tingle as her brain tried to figure out something to say.  She found that her back was almost pressed up against her car door and she saw him lean slightly forward.  His eyes had taken on a dreamy, sleepy look and she thought he really
was
going to take her in a passionate embrace.  She knew then that she wouldn’t have protested.  But he said, his voice low, “So what am I supposed to wear to this thing tomorrow night?”

She swallowed, regaining her composure.  “You know, I’m really not sure.  I’ve never done this before.  I’m just filling in for the real cheerleading coach, and so I’ve never been to one of these.”  She took a deep breath.  “If I had to guess, it’d be like a real date.”

He nodded and he looked pure rock star again, cocky and oh-so-self-sure.  “So…like
this
?”  He waved his hand in a semi-circular motion, indicating himself from head to toe.

Erin took the invitation and looked him over from top to bottom…not that she hadn’t done that already, but how could she resist?  And where the hell had this boldness
come
from?  But she did it just the same…took in his reddish-brown mussed-up hair and…
fuck
…he had a few cute little freckles on his cheeks that she’d never noticed from media pictures or CD covers.  And his facial hair was gone, all but the sexy soul patch just underneath his lip.  He had a noticeable Adam’s apple that was right about eye level and, sure enough, he was wearing his dog tags.  She’d have to get a closer look at those tomorrow if he’d let her.  She made a note to herself that it could be a conversation piece when they had a lull.  He was wearing a plain black t-shirt but up close she could see the definition underneath…not that it mattered.  She knew
exactly
what his torso looked like, having seen pictures of him shirtless at concerts, sweaty and…  She gulped.  She was getting distracted again.  She forced her eyes to continue down farther.  Faded Levi’s, not too snug but not baggy at all. 
Black sneakers.
  She couldn’t tell if they were Converse or something else, but she knew she’d better drag her eyes back up pretty quickly.