This Time (13 page)

Mike cut her off before she could say anything else. “Shh.” He moved in front of her and framed her face in his hands. “Just…let me. Okay?” Without waiting for her agreement, Mike bent down and pressed his lips to hers. The moment he felt the full softness of her lips against his, he groaned and tilted her head back for easier access. It had been months since he’d kissed a woman, and years since he’d kissed
this
woman. Though Mike wouldn’t have admitted it over the years, he acknowledged it at that moment. Tara had haunted him. Her scent, her taste, her voice: they’d been plaguing him since the instant he’d pushed her away.

Mike put slight pressure on her chin, encouraging her to part her lips, and slid his tongue into her mouth with a triumphant groan. She tasted like freedom, hope, and joy, and as her tongue hesitantly moved against his, he felt all of those things shiver through his body. He slid his hands through her hair and down her body to the small of her back and pressed her closer to him. Mike filled his hands with her ass, her glorious, wonderful ass, and groaned. Tara’s hands rested lightly on his shoulders, and it wasn’t enough. Moving his hands over her hips and up her sides, he grasped her hands and wrapped them around his neck. He gathered her tightly against him again and slid his tongue more fully into the warm sweetness of her mouth. Tara gave a little whimper and opened her mouth wider, softly stroking the hair at the nape of his neck. Mike slid his hands down farther, unable to keep his hands away from the full roundness of her bottom. He knew she could feel how turned on he was; there was no way she couldn’t. His dick surged against the zipper so hard he was certain there would be an imprint. Squeezing lightly, he pulled her hips harder against his and ground his erection against her.

Maybe it was the strain of the day or maybe he shifted his weight wrong. Whatever the reason, his leg gave out, and he lost his balance. The kiss broke abruptly off, and had it not been for Tara, he would have fallen. As it was, she ended up pressed against the wall, holding him up, while they both stared at each other, dazed.

She spoke first. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah,” Mike replied, his jaw tightening in pain and frustration. “I just need to sit down.” He fucking hated this. Hated feeling helpless and weak, especially in front of Tara.

Tara helped him over to the bed and waited, watching as he removed the prosthesis. Mike grimaced as he pulled free of the device and set it aside. He knew he was going to be worse tomorrow, but he would deal with that when it happened. Right then, he wanted to find out how much harder it was to make love with just one leg. He knew that wasn’t going to happen, though, so he settled for a better ending for their kiss.

Mike reached out for Tara’s hand and pulled her closer to the bed until she sat beside him. He leaned over and kissed her again, gently this time, trying to keep the heat and urgency he felt contained. When he finally pulled away to look at her, her eyes were soft and hazy. He’d done that, put that look on her face, and he felt like cheering because of it.

“I’ve been dying to do that since you walked in the door.” He pushed her hair behind her ear and stroked his thumb down her cheek.

Tara looked at him, uncomprehending for several seconds, before she finally swallowed and said, “You have?”

Mike smiled and brushed his thumb across her lower lip. “Yeah.” He couldn’t seem to stop touching her now that he’d started.

Tara linked her hands together in her lap and pulled away from his touch, looking down at them. “I don’t think you should do it again.”

Mike frowned. “Why not?” Like hell he wasn’t going to do it again! A surge of anger bubbled up that he struggled to tamp down.

Tara gave a sound of frustration and stood up, moving out of his reach. “Because I don’t know if I want you to or not, and when you do it, I forget why I shouldn’t let you.”

Well, that was a good sign. “All right,” he conceded. “I won’t spring it on you again. I’ll give you a heads up so you can decide if you want me to kiss you or not.” This was thin ice he was walking on, and Mike knew he would have to tread carefully. He hadn’t been able to resist just one taste, though. Clearing his throat, he asked, “What was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

Tara moved over to the desk where they’d eaten dinner and sat down in one of the chairs. It was safer over there, and he knew she was retreating. He just didn’t know if it was a good thing or not.

“I just wanted to ask if I could bring the presents up here and tell Madelynn Santa left them here. I thought you’d like to be part of it, but if you’d rather I did it at the hotel, that’s fine too.” She watched him warily. “I’m going to bring the gifts that you sent us up here anyway; I just didn’t know if you wanted Santa to visit here. I wanted to check with you before I brought anything up. I forgot to ask earlier, but I’m glad I didn’t. Maddie could have heard.”

Mike slid himself back on the bed until both legs were stretched out in front of him. He gently began massaging the stump of his left leg through the cotton of his jeans and the bandage that he wrapped around it when he wore the prosthesis, trying to alleviate some of the pain.

He frowned as he dug his fingers into the sore flesh, but not from physical pain. It stung a little that she felt she had to ask. “I would really like that. For you to do it here, I mean. How are you going to get the presents up here, though?”

Tara watched him massage his leg, and his jaw tightened. He didn’t want her to know he was in pain, that he’d pushed himself too far today on their account. Frowning, she moved over to the bed and sat down, putting her hands over his. “Let me help you.” She looked up at him when he shook his head in stunned horror. “Michael, I can if you’ll let me.”

Mike swallowed and looked down at her hands and said, “Tara, I would love for you to do this. But there are two problems with that. First, you don’t know what you’re asking. I can’t even stand to look at it, much less show it to you. Second, if you spend five more seconds on this bed, you’re going to be in it with me. That’s the heads up I promised.” He watched her, trying to gauge her reaction to his words, but was unable to read more than mild surprise.

Tara stood quickly and moved back to the relative safety of the chair. He watched her go and murmured softly as she sat down, “Chicken.”

She stiffened but didn’t respond and went back to the safer topic of presents, despite the fact that Mike knew she’d heard. “The gifts are in the car. I’ll bring them up here and then pick Maddie up from the childcare. We’ll come back tomorrow morning when visiting hours start at eight o’clock.”

Mike nodded and said, “That sounds great. I would love to share that with Madelynn.” He was silent for a moment, considering the ramifications of his first Christmas shared with his family. Then he offered, “One of the nurses might help you bring the presents up if you ask.” He looked at her and said dryly, “I’d offer to help, but I seem to be a little indisposed.” He gestured to his legs.

Tara shook her head and said, “No, that’s fine. I’ll ask one of the nurses.” She paused thoughtfully. “I guess I could hijack a wheelchair and use that. I’d only have to make one trip that way.”

Mike turned and pointed his thumb to the headboard of his bed. “You don’t have to hijack a wheelchair. Mine’s folded right here.”

Tara craned her head and looked at the wheelchair folded discreetly against the wall and placed carefully within reach of his bed. “I’ll use yours if you’re sure you don’t need it.” When he shook his head, she continued, “I hope the nurses don’t think I’m stealing it.”

Mike grinned at her. “You were planning to hijack one and didn’t worry if they would notice, but you’re worried they’ll notice you taking mine?”

Tara gave a short laugh. “Something like that.” She stood and walked over to the wheelchair, pulled it out, and unfolded it. “I’m going to go ahead and get the gifts. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Mike sat patiently on his bed, waiting for Tara to bring the gifts upstairs. He still couldn’t believe she was here. It seemed so surreal. He kneaded the stump of his left leg absently, wincing slightly at the twinges of pain shooting up his leg and into his hips. She hadn’t pulled away immediately when he kissed her. He was going to assume that meant she reciprocated his feelings, at least a little. The day had been full of good signs. Mike slowed his motions, pushing his fingers into a particularly sore spot. Dr. Walters had certainly been right when she said to expect good things. He paused. Tara had to have a pass to get on the compound and approval to visit him because of his PTSD diagnosis. He hadn’t questioned it before, but now he wondered if Tara had called Dr. Walters. His heart thudded low in his chest. What if Dr. Walters had told her how bad it was? But no, she couldn’t have. The doctor/patient confidentiality agreement prevented that. But Dr. Walters had known Tara was coming when she’d made her cryptic comment.

Mike resumed his massage. He was flattered that Tara had made this choice, even taken a chance by surprising him. He’d loved his time with Madelynn. She was a sweet, open little girl, completely free of the pollution that clouded so many adults’ souls. Every time he’d looked at her, his heart had skipped a beat, and he’d felt tightness in his chest. That first smile she’d given that was solely for him had nearly stopped his heart. She was part of him, part of Tara. A physical reminder of how hard and fast they’d both fallen so long ago. Mike was ready to fall hard and fast again. He hadn’t known how much he yearned for another chance until he’d looked up and seen them sitting there, like angels of mercy descended from heaven to pull him from the pits of hell.

“I’m back.”

He looked up from his ministrations to see her wheeling in a mound of gifts stacked higher than her head and wobbling dangerously. Instinctively, he moved to help her and had leaned off the edge of the bed to stand before he remembered why that wasn’t a good idea. His heart sank. He should leave them alone. Let them find a man who could stand and walk, who could chase Madelynn and make love to Tara. Mike looked up at her across the room, arranging the presents around the pathetically small tree. Christmas in a fucking psych ward.

Darkness swam in his vision for a moment and then receded. No. No, by God, they were
his
family, and he was going to fight for them. He’d move mountains to give them the most normal man he could. Mike might never be able to do some things, but no one else could ever love them the way he did. Tara might never give him her heart again, and frankly he wouldn’t blame her. But he was going to try. Either way, he would have Madelynn, and she would have to be enough.

Clearing his throat, he asked, “Did you get them all in one trip?”

“No,” she said, standing up to get more packages. “But there’s only one bag left, and it’s all things Maddie knows about, so I’ll get it on our way up in the morning.”

Mike leaned back in his bed and watched as Tara arranged the packages around the tree. When she was finally satisfied with the results, she stood and pushed his chair back over beside his bed and folded it up.

“I need to get going. Maddie’s probably already asleep, and I’m tired.” She turned to him and gestured to his bed. “I’m sure you’re ready to crash too.”

“Yeah,” he replied. “It’s been a long day.”

Tara nodded awkwardly and started to move toward the door. “Well, I guess we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Wait.” Mike sat up on the edge of the bed and held out his hand. “Don’t I get a good-night kiss?”

Tara just looked at him, eyes narrowed and lips pressed tightly together.

“Just one, a little one. Come on.” He smiled at her. If he woke up tomorrow to find this was all a dream—which he still considered a possibility—he at least wanted one more kiss before reality set in.

“Just a small one?” she asked suspiciously, moving toward the bed.

“Just a small one.” Mike reached for her, grasped her wrists, and pulled until she was standing directly in front of him. Tugging lightly, he drew her down to him and cupped the back of her head.

“Okay,” she whispered just before their lips met.

His lips moved against hers softly, demanding nothing. Mike nibbled lightly at her mouth and sucked her top lip gently before pulling away without deepening the kiss. He whispered, “Good night, Tara.”

“Good night, Michael.” She straightened, gave him a small smile, and left.

* * * *

Tara picked Maddie up from the daycare where she’d fallen asleep on a nap mat. She took her to the car, struggling a little with her limp weight, but loving the feeling of her daughter’s warm little body pressed against hers. She unlocked the doors and strapped Madelynn into her seat, unable to keep her mind off that kiss. It had been so easy to let go of all her doubts and misgivings and get carried away.
Too
easy. Tara was going to have to harden her heart and resist him. It was more difficult than she’d thought it would be.

Even before the kiss, she’d felt nothing but admiration for him. Michael pushed himself to the limit and beyond just to be able to spend time with his daughter. It was obvious from the beginning that he was in pain, but he’d endured it with a strength and determination she couldn’t help but admire.

Tara knew that somewhere deep inside there must be a burning anger and bitterness for what he’d lost. But Michael wasn’t letting that rule him. Yes, she thought, he was worthy of admiration. But that didn’t mean it was a good idea to get into another relationship with him right away. The last time she’d gotten involved with him, it had only lasted three months, and nearly six years later he still had the power to hurt her. Tara didn’t know if she would survive this time. But that kiss, oh God, it had been everything she remembered and more. He kissed as if the world had stopped spinning just for them. She’d melted after just a few seconds and given in all over again. Her body still felt overheated and shaky, and the entire interlude had lasted less than five minutes. If he hadn’t lost his balance, Tara grudgingly admitted, she might be flat on her back with her legs in the air right now.