To Forgive & Hold Safe (The Broken Men Chronicles Book 4) (22 page)

As Hannah’s twenty-fifth week arrived, so did the day of her baby shower.

And I was anxious.

I hadn’t told Hannah why it was that I was so tired by the time the sun set on each day over the last week.  She assumed that it was because work was hectic.  I never told her any different.

A week after meeting Blake and Deidra, Hannah and I had invited them over for dinner.  As per their usual fashion, Mike and Nicole came and crashed our small get-together.

Needless to say – after a few group events – Deidra, Nicole and Danica hit things off so well that they got together to organize Hannah’s baby shower with help from Mom and Anne.

I think our mothers loved being part of the whole process just as much as I enjoyed not having to deal with any of it this past week, since I had my own workload to deal with.

You see, there’s a reason I was exhausted.  And like you might have guessed, it wasn’t because I’d been working at the pub.  Despite a week off from
Fairfax
, I hadn’t stopped, and stress was definitely a contributing factor to my exhaustion, not to mention my climbing anxiety.

“Ben!” Hannah called after I’d heard the doorbell. “Nikki and Dee are here.”  I knew it was my cue to take the men out back and get the beer flowing.

Showers weren’t a coed kind of thing, but since none of the men had plans, Hannah mentioned that we should have a barbecue afterward so I’d have some guy time.  I agreed, seeing as it was a great way to stay away from a bunch of squealing ladies that would most definitely be fawning over cute outfits, booties, loads of diapers, and gift baskets that we were bound to receive.  Hannah might not know it yet, but the get-together would end up serving a dual purpose.

“Coming!” I called out.

With one assessing look that told me everything was perfect, I shut the door and headed downstairs.

The gifts were opened and my entire living room looked like a baby store had exploded in it.  I think we were ready for a set of triplets by the amount that had taken over the room, but I could deal with the surplus, having loved how Hannah had been doted upon.  The beaming smile the mother of my son wore on her face throughout the day was testament to her joy and proof that she was loved by everyone around her.

“Hey there, handsome.” Hannah hugged me from behind as I was putting the last of the food on the grill.

I set the flipper to the side and turned to wrap my arms around her.  “Hey there, sweetheart, having fun?”

She nodded vigorously.  “The best time, only…”  Her brows furrowed.

“What is it?”

“I just heard from Derek’s girlfriend that you haven’t been at work this week.”

Fuck!

I looked around at all of our family, the friends, the kids, the joy that surrounded us, and realized that despite my original plan to do what I’d planned once we were alone, there was no better time than the present.

I held out my hand to her. “I have something to show you.  It’ll explain everything, I promise.”

Hannah took my hand and I turned to see Mike giving me an inquiring look.  I headed toward the house and nodded in the barbecue’s direction and mouthed “turn it off and follow” while I made a circular motion with my free hand meaning he should get everyone to tag along.

I brought Hannah upstairs and down the hall from our bedroom.

“You know those clippings from those baby magazines you’ve been keeping with the rest of the ideas of what you wanted for the nursery?” I asked her.

She nodded and after a fraction of a second, her eyes widened.  “You didn’t.”

Grinning, I said, “I did,” and turned the knob, pushing the door inward.

Hannah gasped and her hands flew up to her mouth as she took in the sight around her.

I’d painted, changed the carpet, assembled the furniture and set up the room in the way I knew Hannah had envisioned.

With a bit of help from the girls, I got the decorations, some story books, even the lounging chair where I was sure mother, father, and baby would surely be bonding in the dead of the night during feeding times.

Hannah walked further into the room, running her hands over the furniture and I heard her sniffle.  “This is beautiful, Ben,” she said on an emotionally drawn breath.  She reached for the stuffed toy I had set in the middle of the crib: the miniature blanket-looking bear that had scripture on its chest that read
Little Angel
.  “It’s pink.”

“It was Karen’s,” I said as I approached Hannah and stopped right behind her.  “I figured that even though she wasn’t mine by blood that she was still mine in my heart, and she would look out for our little guy when he gets here.”

Hannah squeezed the plush toy to her chest and set it back down.  “It still smells like baby,” she whispered and my breath caught in my throat.

I heard some rustling behind me, followed by a few gasps and I knew everyone was there for this moment.

“Hannah,” I said since she was still so taken with the room that she had yet to turn to face me.

“Hmm?”  She wiped a tear from her cheek.

“Sweetheart?” I moved to take a knee at her side and pulled out the ring.

Her hand came to settle on my shoulder, but she still hadn’t looked my way.  Instead, she said, “What are you doing, Benjamin, get up.”

Giggles funnelled through the doorway and she turned to those instead of me.

“Look at me, woman!  I’m trying to do this right, but you’re too distracted.”  A few of our onlookers snickered.

Hannah’s eyes flew down to mine and her eyes welled up with more tears.

“I love you, Hannah.” I was having a hell of a time pushing away the ball of emotion clogging my throat.  “So much.  You’ve brought me back to life with your smiles, your words, your presence, your…well, let’s not go there with kids here.”  I winked, bringing forth a teary giggle.  “You said that it was fate…kismet.  It’s true.  I’ve never been this happy in my entire life, sweetheart.”  And then I went in for the kill.  “Marry me, Hannah.  Marry me because I want that same dream with the white picket fence that you do.”

“You’ve already built me one of those.” Everyone laughed, while the boys groaned.

“Marry me because I want babies with you,” I persisted.

“We got a head start on that now haven’t we?” I tried not to laugh. Instead, I shook my head at her smart-assed comment.  The woman had an answer for everything.

“Marry me because without the house, the fence, the friends, the babies, you’re all I need to survive in this world.  Hannah, you’re my life, my world, my home, my everything.”

“Are you shitting me right now?” she blurted and lifted her head and looked toward the door.  “What do you think, Mike?”

“Put the man out of his misery, Hannah,” he said.

I grinned at his words.

“For goodness sakes, Hannah, stop teasing the man and give him the answer I know you’ve been dying to give him for a while now,” Anne threw in.

“You’re right, Mom.”  She looked down to me before getting to her knees.  “I wouldn’t want to be punished for toying with your head now would I?”  She smirked at her double-entendre.  “Mrs. Benjamin Carpenter, it has a nice ring to it.”

“It does.  So what’s your answer?” I knew what it was, but it seemed as if our little show was keeping our family and friends on pins and needles, and toying with them was almost as much fun as toying with each other.  Almost.

“Did you really have to ask?”  She grabbed my face.  “Yes, Ben, my answer is ‘yes’. I would have married you a month ago, yesterday, today, tomorrow, ten years, even a hundred years from now.  So, Benjamin Carpenter, yes, I will marry you.”

With that, I grabbed the back of Hannah’s head with one hand and went in slow, fusing my lips to hers.  I wanted to savor this moment, the feeling of completeness, of joy, of peace that came with it.

I pulled back, grabbed her hand to slide the diamond inlay white gold band with the large three diamonds at its top onto her left-hand ring finger. “What do you think?” I pecked the top of her hand before holding it so she could admire the band.

Her breath caught in her throat.  “It’s really beautiful, but I would have been happy with a twist-tie if it’s all you had.  I already knew you were mine for life; this only solidifies it.  I love you so much.”  She kissed me but this time, I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight as she returned the gesture.

“Break it up, kids,” Dad said.  “We have minors here.”

“And I’m hungry,” Mike added.

“When are we eating, Daddy?” Jasper asked Paxton, and as I got up and helped Hannah to her feet, I turned and crouched down to face the little guy.

“Tell you what, buddy,” I said, “we’ll go downstairs after all these hugs and kisses and you can help me flip the last few burgers once I get the grill fired up again.”

Jasper turned to his father, bouncing on the tip of his toes.  “Can I, Daddy?”

“If Ben says it’s okay, then go for it, but be careful.”

“Let’s do this!” he shouted his excitement as he rubbed his little hands together and licked his lips. He gave me a quick hug and jumped at Hannah with the same treatment before running straight for the stairs, making us all laugh.  “Hurry up guys, Mike’s starving!”

I finished cleaning up after everyone had left and decided to go check on Hannah.  I found her where I suspected she would be.  What surprised me was that everything we had received had already been neatly stowed away, and my fiancée was sitting in the chair I envisioned us spending some long nights in.  She had a book in her hand and was reading it aloud to herself.  It was Robert Munsch’s
I’ll love you forever
.  I remembered reading it to Karen every night since the day she was brought home.  I planned on doing the same when our little guy graced us with his presence.

Leaning against the doorway, I was mesmerized by the woman who had only hours before agreed to be my wife.  The thought of it made my stomach flutter with excitement.

When she finished reading, she set the book on the side table, stuck out her left hand and admired her ring.  She sighed and leaned her head back, smiling in pure contentment as she rubbed her belly.

“I have to say the sight of you like this makes me want to do it all over again.” I moved from the doorway and crouched down in front of her.

Her palm cupped my cheek.  “You’re amazing.”

Grinning, I said, “Funny, I think so too.” Her hand withdrew and she smacked my shoulder.  “But I think it’s time for bed, beautiful.”

She yawned.  “I think you might be right.” As I helped her to her feet, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me softly.  “I can’t believe you did all this.”

“I had a bit of help from the girls,” I confessed.

“Still…”

“I’d do anything for you, Hannah.” I rubbed her back.

“I see that.”  She gave me a drowsy but sweet smile.  “Can I add one more thing to today’s list of honey-do’s?”

“I think I can be persuaded to oblige.” I kissed her nose before smiling down at her.

I’d stripped Hannah to nothing and made her lay down before taking my own clothes off.  Crawling over her, my hands slid over her heated skin.  “You’re so beautiful.”  I kissed around her baby bump.

Her internal walls clenched and released in a slow rhythm as I eased into her depths, settling her over my lap, while I kneeled in the middle of our bed.

The heightened sex drive was one thing about Hannah’s pregnancy that was great.  I hadn’t counted on the fact that she’d make me feel like a god, but her increased sensitivity was outstanding, and worked to my advantage at every turn.  Hell, I’d even managed to set her off with her still wearing multiple layers of clothing.  It was sexy as hell, and I enjoyed giving her release whenever and wherever I saw fit, knowing that I would get mine at some point down the line, usually never having to wait too long.

“God, baby,” I mumbled into her neck.

Hannah’s nails raked up my back, then her hands fisted themselves in my hair.  She pulled back, tilting my head and began to nip, lick, and suckle on my skin.

Her rhythm picked up with a sudden urgency that sent my balls tightening ready for total release.

My hands grabbed her hips and helped her on the upstroke while she’d let herself drop over my shaft.

She pulled back so she could capture my lips with hers and moaned into my mouth as I felt the spasms that brought me to completion with her.

Our kisses grew from frantic and needful to tender, passion-filled, and relaxing.  Hannah’s arms were still around my neck as she massaged the back of my head.  My hands rubbed up and down her back, bringing forth those goose-bumps I loved so much.

And then I felt it.

After our shopping trip, I hadn’t felt our little guy kick again.  This time, it was different.  Our stomachs were pressed against each other’s, and I felt it through my own belly.  My hands went straight for the sides of her bump, feeling this highly and quite suddenly energized bundle of joy of ours.

“I think we woke him,” Hannah said.

“Does that mean you won’t be able to sleep?”

“It’ll be a bit difficult until he calms down since I’m not used to this, but I love it when he’s active.”

I shifted us slowly and laid her onto her back.  I pulled the covers over us as I slid out of her heat, and lay down beside her.

“He moves a lot when he hears men’s voices.”

I grinned and then scurried down the bed, wrapping my hands around her belly.  I spent the better part of the next half hour talking to our son.  When I finished with a lullaby my mother had come up with for me when I was a baby, I looked up to find Hannah with watery eyes.  “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”  I moved back up so I lay on my pillow and cradled her into my side.

“Nothing,” she said and started to laugh.  “I…”

I tilted her chin up so she could see my face.  “Is this one of those times your hormones take over?”

She giggled through her tears, nodding.  “I’m just so happy.”  She moved to straddle my waist, then leaned forward onto my chest.  “This,” she placed my hand on her belly, “you and me, our baby, the three of us…
everything
… it’s all I ever wanted, and then some.”

I smiled.  “And then some, huh?”

She nodded.  “I never once asked for mind blowing sex, or a handsome firefighting bartender, or the fact that I could love someone again so much that it hurts.”

“But it’s all yours, I’m all yours.” I lifted my head to kiss her chastely.

“And I’m yours.”  She shifted, grabbing onto my length and began to rub it against her bud, making it harden instantly.  “I want you again, baby, and I want you hard and fast.”

She dropped herself onto my cock with a loud moan.

“Then let’s get one thing straight.” My hands braced themselves on her hips, halting her movements.  “I’m in control here, and as much as I could get off on your sounds, I think I want you to be quiet until I tell you to let loose, which would be about the same time I tell you to come for me.”

Hannah’s eyes went wide.  “You wouldn’t.” I smacked her ass and flipped us so she lay on her back with my dick still buried balls deep in her slick heat.

“I would and I am,” I told her, pulling myself back slowly and then plowing into her.  She bit down on her bottom lip.

I continued the slow pull-back and fast slamming for a short while before I could see the tension in her face build, feel the tremors beginning in her core, and the worried look that she would possibly fail at not coming flashing in her eyes.

I stilled.

I stopped until I could barely feel her walls spasm at which point I gave short thrusts while I used my thumb on her clit, circling but never truly hitting that spot that would push her over the edge.

“Baby?”  She panted. “I don’t think I can take much more of this.”

“It’s not your choice, sweetheart.” My stern voice made her clench my length.  “It seems like someone really enjoys not being in control.”

“Only with you.”

Her words warmed me, but she shouldn’t have been talking regardless.  “I hear something more out of you, and I’ll have to figure out some kind of punishment.”

Her bright green eyes darkened further, and then I saw her smirk.  “Fuck.  Me.”

“You pushing me?”

“You bet your sexy ass I am.”

I pulled out and flipped her onto her knees so she could use the headboard for stability.  I had an inkling that if we kept up this kinky hard fucking habit of ours, we’d be in need of a new headboard every couple of years, if not sooner.  The thing was already rattling against the wall.

I grabbed my steal shaft and ran its tip up and down her slit.  Her juices were running down her thighs and I loved it when she got this wet for me.  I ran my tip from the front of her slit to the back, and every time I passed the spot where I’d normally thrust into her, she’d arch and try and follow me to get me inside her.  I smacked her ass hard twice, and smoothed my hand over the redness that was already appearing.

I leaned forward, grabbed her hair, and pulled her head back before nipping the side of her chin.  At the same time, I ran my cock and nestled myself at her entrance, pushing in slightly to tease her.  “Fuck yourself on my dick, baby.”

There was no hesitation as she did just that.

My balls were killing me with how much they ached to explode, but I was adamant to keep this going for as long as possible.

“Stop,” I ordered, and she froze.  I allowed my hands to skim her back and my lips kissed her shoulders.

A single hand of mine made its way between her legs, playing with her nub with a sole purpose; to render her shattered at the hand of one massive explosion.

“Fuck me,” I said into her ear. She shivered against my chest.

I feathered my fingers over her hips to help guide her since her legs were quivering so much.  I could feel her clenching on me and damn did I ever want to give in.  I almost did too.

“Stop!” She released a throaty growl.  “Easy tiger, I’m not done with you yet.”

Hannah whimpered as I pulled out of her and felt the bucking of her hips when I pulled her knees further away from the headboard so she was leaning forward more, and her ass stuck out.

My how I loved those cheeks, and even better when they had my hand print on them.

I stuck two fingers inside of her and felt her clamp down on me.

“Not yet, sweetheart.” I began to slightly tap my fingers on that sweet spot of hers, observing the look of carnal desperation that made its way onto her face as she tried to peer at me over her shoulder, and enjoying the panting sounds she made.

I ran my slickened fingers backwards, bringing her juices around to that tiny little puckered hole at her rear.  Instead of hesitance, Hannah jutted her ass out in presentation.  I’d just about had enough when she did that.  I moved my knees behind hers and repositioned my cock at her entrance.

“Push back, honey.” I thrust up as she powered backward.  I was amazed she’d remained silent and even more, impressed that she hadn’t come undone.

I held onto her hips as I allowed my thumb to inch its way into her ass, massaging that little rosette of hers as it followed her thrusts.

“Baby, grind on me,” I told her.  “I want to be buried as deep as possible.”

She did just as I said and with every hip rotation, I pushed harder on that forbidden hole until it gave way.  She stilled.

“I-I can’t.  If I move, I’ll come.”

“Did I tell you to speak or stop?”

She started to say no, but stopped herself.

“Then come with me, baby,” I told her and pulled back slightly to give her a bit of friction.

I slowly increased my thrust length and speed and within minutes, we were flying apart.

The sounds that came out of my woman’s mouth were ethereal.  I didn’t know windows could actually shake like that, or that my dick could feel as if it could possibly be bruised from being clenched so damn hard.

I eased out of Hannah, pulling her back onto my chest as her head lulled back onto my shoulder, her breathing erratic.  My fiancée’s eyes were shut, and it seemed like every subtle move, every touch of mine, made her entire body quake.

Once she was lying down, I hurried to wash my hands and return to her with a moistened washcloth.

I wiped her down, cleaning our mixed juices off the insides of her thighs and chucking the cloth toward the hamper.  That’s when her green eyes opened, her lips gracing me with what looked like a drunken smile.  Pure satisfaction.

Damn, but that look on her face simply undid me.