To Light and Guard (9 page)

CHAPTER 19

              Instead of dozing off in my Algebra Two class, I thought about my situation with Luke and Adra very carefully. This is what I came up with.  I’m a cheater.  I mean, it seemed like Luke and Adra were involved in some way, and I’m like the other woman. 
Do you know what I mean?  

My
teacher, Mr. Lee, wrote something on the board.  Luke was standing in the back of the class, and I forced myself not to glance at him too often. Usually, Luke waited for me outside of class, but since Adra showed up in our lives, he had been following me around almost everywhere.  His new mission was to guard me from Blondie.

He
was very distracting, especially when he would say something interesting, and I have to force myself not to respond.  I always pretend not to see him or hear him, of course.  I kind of had to.  I mean high school is tough enough when people think you’re normal.  If anyone saw me talking to myself, I would be voted ‘Most Likely to Be a Bag Lady.’ 
Who wants that kind of label, right?

             
Do you ever see people in the street, walking alone, but they seem to be having an actual conversation, even laughing? Then, you feel sorry for them when you realize that they are crazy, and you want to give them money because you realize that they need help.  Ever think that maybe they are talking to someone, someone real, and someone only they could see?  In another twenty years, I could be one of them. 
Hold on.  Wait a minute.  I think I already am one of them.
  

             
“Ms. Harper?” I heard Mr. Lee call my name, jerking me back to reality.  My teacher was looking at me.
Crap!
Why does this always happen when I’m not paying attention?

“Can you solve the proble
m on the board?” Mr. Lee asked.

No
, not really
… but I got up slowly and walked to the whiteboard in front of the class, anyway.  Mr. Lee handed me his marker, and I looked at the problem with dread. 

No idea.  I
had absolutely no clue.  Nada.

From behind me, I heard Luke’s voice
as he helped me through the problem.  My fingers followed his instructions as I solved the equation on the board.  

Mr. Lee
nodded, and while still dazed and confused, I walked back to my seat. 

“Good work,” he said as he wrote another problem on the board
and called another student to solve the next problem. 

Great.  Just great.  Now my angel is helping me cheat
.

I a
m a cheater.

***

             
I am not a cheater.

             
As Luke explained it to me after school, his relationship with Adra was definitely over. I believed him.  I mean, he wouldn’t lie to me, right?  He’s an angel, for crying out loud. 
If I couldn’t trust an angel, then, who can I trust? 

He said that their bond had been severed
over three hundred
thousand
years ago.   That’s a really long time to be over.  I must remember, however, that time is a bit different for angels because they can live up to eternity. If you still have problems grasping this idea, you can think of it this way.  Angels calculate human years like humans calculate a dog’s life in ‘dog years.’  They just live longer than we do.  

Luke has lived
for over four hundred thousand years, and he has been single for the last three hundred thousand. So, Adra should just get over him by now because they are ancient history – like more ancient than Rome. They split up over three hundred thousand years ago, and this makes me happy. Okay, not happy, just less sad.  She is like a really old stalker, and I am definitely not a cheater.  In my world, this is how I see it:  if a pet bunny is to be boiled, I wouldn’t be the one boiling the bunny. 
Do you know what I mean? 

I do have a pet dog, though, and Adra might mistake her for a
bunny because Buffy’s ears are kind of floppy.  I need to talk to Luke about this.  I need to make sure that Adra stays away from my dog.   No one messes with my dog.

CHAPTER 20

“Our sixth year anniversary is coming up in a week,” Raine said during our lunch break. 
She counted her dating years with Tommy like married couples counted the years they’ve been married. It was cute in a sickening vomit kind of way. They were so in love, and they were two months away from getting engaged. Seriously. 
How cool is it to be her right now?  

I sat on the bench
next to her, sitting underneath the sun, and I placed my messenger bag on the floor.  “Where’s Tommy?” I asked. 

“Getting our
food from the cafeteria.  I told him to get yours, too.”

“What are we having?
”

“Don’t know.  Do you want me to call him
and ask?”  

I shook my head.
  “It doesn’t matter.”  It was a Wednesday, so we were probably having pizza.

“
Tommy’s making reservations at a fancy place for our anniversary next week.  I don’t know where though,” Raine said.

“When you two get married, will you be celebrating the day you got together, or the day you get married?” I asked.

Raine thought about it for a second.  “Probably both,” she answered.  “Why not?”

Why not?  There was absolutely no reason why not.  Happy couples – real couples, that is -  probably celebrate their relationships all of the time.

“Do you want to go with us to
Disneyland on Sunday?”  I asked.

             
“And intrude on the annual Harper Disneyland family tradition?  No thanks.”

             
I smiled.  Yes.  We Harpers have our many family traditions, and hitting Disneyland before Spring Break was one of them.  Maybe the parents didn’t realize that Emma and I weren’t so little anymore, but then, I suppose, it didn’t matter; it was a family tradition, like Thanksgiving or Christmas. It was our Disney holiday, and it was the type of holiday I would like to have someday with my own family.

            However,
what kind of family would I have with Luke?  Having already decided that I wanted to be with him, what did I willingly sign up for?  Or more importantly, what was I willing to give up to be with him?

For one thing,
I realized that Luke and I could never have children.  How could half-angel children, possibly invisible children, make it in this human world?  That thought hurt.  I felt my babies dying, my future babies inside of me, who were still waiting to be born.  These were the babies I wasn’t ready to have right now, but the babies I always planned on having someday.  In my mind, my babies were crying, begging me to change my mind, hoping that it wasn’t too late to make the right decision.  My babies were telling me that I could still live the life I had always dreamed of living. 

I thought about it some more.  M
aybe it just wasn’t about the kids.  How could I possibly carry on a relationship with a person only I can see?  

Raine was
talking about her marvelous summer vacation plans with Tommy when her cell phone rang. 

             
“If that’s Tommy calling from the cafeteria telling you that he misses you, I’m going to throw up,” I mumbled.  I pretended to grab her phone, and Raine quickly swatted my hand away.

             
“It’s my mom,” Raine said with a smile, wiggling her phone an inch away from my face.  Raine got up and answered the phone and walked a few steps away from me. 

             
I looked around for my angel and saw him leaning against the brick wall of the library.  He was about fifty feet away, and there were more benches and students between us, but we’re still connected somehow.  Luke winked at me, and my heart melted.  This was enough for me right now.

             
I looked away and waited for Raine to finish her conversation.  From the corner of my eye, I saw a demon flying in the air, close to the ground and very close to me.  It was Joshua.  I watched him as he landed next to me with a frown. He really did have a sour disposition – that one.  Maybe it was a demon thing.

Without saying a word
to me, he looked around.  Once he spotted Luke, he started walking towards him in quick, long strides. I’ve never seen Joshua in my school before. 
What was he doing here?

             
Joshua stopped right in front of Luke.  Then, he leaned against the brick wall next to him. Except for the difference in their hair color, they looked so much alike.  It was as if they were made from the same mold.     

They were talking
normally, at first.  Then, Luke suddenly became tense, his arms automatically crossing against his chest as he gave Joshua his full attention.  They faced each other now, and Joshua threw his hands in the air.  Clearly, the conversation between friends was suddenly no longer friendly.

I leaned forward and
concentrated on the words leaving their lips, hoping that I could make out the words.  I couldn’t.  All I could hear was Raine’s voice while she talked on her cell phone a few feet away from me. 

Luke and
Joshua looked very angry, both of them stepping closer to each other at the same time, and their words were coming out very fast.  Joshua turned to me.  His face was furious, and his purple eyes were blazing.  I froze, forgetting to breathe.  What was it about me that was so unlikeable from a demon’s point of view? 
I’m a nice gal.  I’m very likeable.

My vision was suddenly obstructed
by Raine’s hand moving up and down in front of my face.  I gulped and quickly turned my head to look at her. 

“What are you staring at?” she asked
, as she looked towards the direction where Luke and Joshua both stood.  Of course, she didn’t see either of them.  Raine looked confused as she looked at me again.

“Nothing
,” I said, and
to her
, my answer was not a lie.

CHAPTER 21

A
s soon as Luke sat down in the front passenger seat of my car, I asked, “Why was Joshua in school today? You both seemed upset.”  I started the car and started driving.   Fortunately, Emma had to stay after school for cheerleading practice because I didn’t think I had it in me to wait much longer to talk to Luke. 

             
Luke remained silent, and I didn’t know if I should press him for an answer.  If he didn’t want to tell me, if he was having a private conversation with the demon, then I really should leave him alone.

Luke sighed. 
“Joshua thinks that it’s best to stay away from you.  He thinks that I should get you another Guardian,” he said.

             
Ouch. 
I knew it.  His friend didn’t like me.  I knew I made a mistake when I called him a devil, but hey, mistakes happen, and his black wings were misleading.  He didn’t have to take Luke away from me because of that.  I became more and more depressed as I drove. 

             
“Joshua believes that it’s for your own good.”

             
“How would it be for my own good, if you left me?  How does that benefit me?” I asked. 
Why is a demon concerned about my well-being, anyway?
I bet he’s trying to get Luke to stay away from me to torment me. 

             
“He was not always a demon, you know,” Luke said.  “He was an angel once… but that was a long time ago.”

That was a surprise. 
“What happened to him?” I asked.

“
Love changed him.”

His response was confusing. 
How could being in love with anyone ever be wrong?
 

“And love turned him into a demon?” I asked.  It seemed that angels and demons
were more complicated than I first thought. When humans fell in love, they just did. 

“No
, but Joshua was reckless, and…”  Luke suddenly paused and ran his hands through his hair.  He looked at me as if he was thinking about not telling me about the fate of one girl.  “She died,” he finally said.

I gasped. “He killed her?” I asked.

“No
, no.  It wasn’t like that.  Joshua would never do that.  He loved her, and the humans killed her.  She could see angels, and they killed her because of that. They killed her because they believed that she was a witch, and they burned her at the stake.  Joshua behaved badly when he found out, and, well, many humans died because of him.  He destroyed her entire town before his wings had a chance to turn black.”

“He killed people
?” I asked horrified.

“Yes.”

I didn’t know what to say.
My heart ached for the girl who can see angels, someone who was a lot like me, but my heart ached more for a demon - for Joshua.  What Joshua did was wrong, clearly, but I couldn’t bring myself to sympathize with my fellow humans who were stupid enough to be afraid of one girl whose only crime was to see her angel. 

I already knew that angels and humans were not supposed to be together, but I never knew the extent of what could happen
.  This was the extent of what could happen.  A girl’s death, an angel’s descent into hell, and maybe what happened to Joshua wasn’t just history.  Maybe it was a warning that something similar could also happen to me. It could happen to Luke.  He could turn into a demon because of me. 

“When an angel kills a human, he becomes a demon.  It’s our punishment be
cause it’s our duty to keep humans alive,” Luke said. “Killing humans goes against our very nature – our purpose for our existence.”

“They don’t accuse people of
being witches anymore,” I said softly.  I wanted Luke to know that what happened to Joshua wasn’t going to happen to us. 
No one was burning me at the stake!

“Y
es, I know.  Times have changed, but unfortunately, the rules have not.  I’m not supposed to change your life, Paige, and by being with you, I
am
changing your life.” 

“
But you’re different… because you would
never
kill a human.”

“That is where you are wrong,” he said softly.
  “More than any Guardian, I understand what Joshua did.  I could imagine myself doing the same
exact
thing.” 

I
shook my head.  That didn’t seem right.  I always thought that my angel was beyond that – beyond murder.  He was supposed to be everything that was good in this world. 

Luke sighed.
“If anything happened to you,” he said. “I would do the same
exact
thing.”

It wasn’t a declaration of love outright, but I knew Luke loved me.  The sad thing was that I wasn’t happy about it. Having walked the same path, having made the same mistakes, Joshua’s friendship was genuine. I understand that now. As much as it hurts me, Joshua did have something to be angry about.   He didn’t want his friend to end up being a demon because of me.  I suppose that was something the demon and I had in common.

“You’re not turning
into a demon.  Not under my watch,” I said, shaking my head. “You can’t leave me. You just can’t.” 
Please don’t leave me.

“
Then the demons… they’re going to come after me.  It’s only a matter of time.”