Too Busy for Your Own Good (32 page)

Outside of an office setting, stonewalling a drama queen could lead to some kind of blowup. After all, you are denying them what they crave most: attention. But the fact of simply being in a professional setting is enough to ensure that your unwillingness to get sucked into drama will not
lead to higher-level drama. Like everyone else, drama kings and queens do want to stay employed.

There are those folks in your work life you can't count on. They promise but don't deliver. Even when they say, “Sure, I'll have the report in the morning,” or “I'll pick that up when I go to the field office,” you know it's probably not going to happen. Here's how to keep them on the up-and-up:

Be realistic. “I know this kind of commitment is hard for most people. Are you sure you can make it?”

Find the middle ground. “I know we agreed on two weeks, but I'd be OK with three weeks if that would help you.”

Get them to recap the agreement by asking them to explain their understanding of the important facts.

Tie their commitment to their sense of personal honor. “Do I have your word on that?” “I know I can count on you for that.”

If necessary, put it in writing, and both parties sign.

These are the people who make snide comments or criticisms. When they're called on it, they reply innocently, “Oh, I was just
kidding
, can't you take a joke?” Or, they are the champions of the dramatic sign, eye roll, or thumbs-down. Their attacks are just as damaging as those of the “exploders.” Sometimes even more damaging, because the attack is more like a laser—pointed and concentrated on you directly. Try some of these methods to deflect the shot.

Questions give them an alternative to sniping. “Do you have something to add?”

Smoke them out. “That sounded like an insult, did you mean it that way?”

Negative inquiry. “The ‘stupidest idea' . . . What exactly causes you to say that?”

Expose the covert gesture. “What did you mean by giving that ‘so-so' gesture?”

In a group, seek consensus of the criticism. “Does anyone else see it that way?”

When the group agrees, ask, “OK, can you be more specific?”

Ask for more criticism. “Anything else?”

Listen to what they say. If it's valid criticism and not just a cheap shot, the sharpshooter may have come up with something concrete you can work on. If they're just taking potshots at you, it may exhaust their behavior. If they're constantly being called on it to explain themselves, they may have a tendency to stop these attacks on you, in public anyway.