Totally Fishy (A Miller Sisters Mystery) (13 page)

Mary sniffed. "I saved a life I'll have you know."

Joy piped up. "After you almost killed him."

"Oh, pooh," Mary exclaimed as she hitched her skirt up her scrawny legs. "Come on girls, we're missing the show. They all tottered over and elbowed their way to the front of the crowd.

The crowd roared as Evo walked with deliberate steps toward the swimming pool.

"Dump-her-in! Dump-her-in! The chant grew louder as he got closer to the pool's edge.

Sam saw what was coming and began to fight in earnest. "Evo, so help me, put me down. This is not funny anymore. Evo, I mean it, it's cold in there. Stop this macho nonsense right now!"

Evo stopped at the pool's edge. "What's the matter, Sam? Can't take the heat? I'm having fun. You dared me, remember?"

"That's not what you were talking about earlier and you know it."

"Can I help it if your mind is in the gutter? You must really be hot for me. You need some cooling off, I think." He turned so his back faced the water and leaned back a little.

She shrieked and he hesitated. "Please, Evo, that water is cold. This isn't funny." When he chuckled the crowd started up again. "Drop-that-girl! Drop-that-girl!"

He sighed mightily. "Everyone seems to think I need to lighten up and have fun. Well," he smacked her butt and she squeaked. "I'm having fun. The crowd is having fun. You really need to lighten up, Sam."

We continued to chant and Evo said to Sam, "What the crowd wants, the crowd gets." He leaned back to drop her in and Sam screeched. She grabbed him around the waist. With a snap of her back, she threw him off balance. Evo teetered on the edge of the pool and they both toppled into the water. The crowd fell silent for a second, then roared.

"Boy-oh-boy! That's the best splash I've seen in years," yelled Mom from the sideline. Evo and Sam came to the surface sputtering. Evo yelled at her, "Why the hell did you do that?"

"Because you were dumping me in the pool, you Neanderthal!"

"I wasn't really dumping you in; I only
threatened
to dump you in!"

"You were dumping me." She looked into the crowd and yelled, "He was dumping me, wasn't he?" We all laughed and nodded.

Evo ducked his head and smiled sheepishly. "Sam, I think we have created enough of a spectacle. Let me help you out." He reached out to her and she batted his hands away.

As if on cue, the crowd moaned, "
Aww
."

Sam looked indignant. She flipped the hair out of her eyes. "You're the one who helped me in, thank you very much. I'll help myself out." With as much dignity as she could muster, she slogged through the water, away from him.

Evo followed in her wake. "Aw, Sam, come on. Have a sense of humor. Besides, you're on vacation." The crowd clapped and hooted. "I have to admit though; you're a real crowd pleaser."

She whipped around, her hair slapping him in the face. "I'll give you crowd pleaser, Evo Reymundo Moronez-Castillo!" She lunged high against his chest, grabbing his head and twisting her body backward, dragging Evo under the surface with her. They surfaced together with his chin resting on her cleavage and both hands on her butt. We all sucked in a breath. He slowly looked up. She stared down into his eyes. He looked at her mouth and she nervously licked her lips. We all licked our lips as time stood still and he moved a fraction of an inch closer. I had a death grip on J.J.'s arm and he covered my hand with his. We strained forward and–

The flash of a camera startled them and us, and they both looked to the side of the pool. A woman in a skirt and pumps held a camera in her hands. Startled and now pissed, I glared as Rosie the News Whore clicked her way across the tile.

"Great, look." The camera flashed again, "Miller parties are never dull, that's for
sure."
She leaned over the edge of the pool and held out a business card. Evo took one hand off Sam's butt long enough to take it. "Rose Hartwell White Bass Lake Review," she said. "I report the local news." She put her nose in the air. "I must say, you South Americans do interesting
in depth
research, don't you?" She chuckled and turned. Her heels beat a snappy tattoo as she quickly made her exit, her rear twitching in her too tight skirt.

Evo shook his head and muttered, "Rose Who-well?"

"That's Rosie the News Whore down at the paper," Mag supplied. "She also does a spot on local television every once in a while." Sam looked up at us. "She's not very nice, is she?"

"As a matter of fact, I don't know of a single person who can stand the sight of her. You know, once she–"We heard a wild scream and all heads turned in time to see Rosie fly through the air and make an Orca-worthy splash at the other end of the pool. A camera flashed again, this time with Mom behind the lens.

Rosie floundered a bit before she made it to the side of the pool. "Gerry Miller, you pushed me!"

Mom turned around, nose in the air in her best Rosie impersonation. "Now you can say you do
in depth
reporting." She cocked her head. "About five feet deep, I'd say." She raised the camera one more time and caught Rosie with her mouth wide open, makeup running down her face and screaming like a banshee.

Everyone roared and Mom found herself in the midst of a lot of hooting and backslapping. Evo bent low and swung Sam against his chest. He carried her to the shallow end of the pool. "Does this mean we're engaged, Sam?"

She slapped his shoulder. "No, but it does mean we can watch our humiliation on the Six-o'clock News. Come on, the fun's over. Let me down, big boy."

"You forget, it wasn't only us who took a dip in the pool. She was still wearing her camera."

"Oh." Sam was still absorbing the news when Evo let her slide slowly down his body. He set her on her feet and her hands slid down his chest. They crawled out of the pool dripping and stood shivering in the cool afternoon air.

Fred ran up, stuffed bath sheets in their hands, and looked at Evo. She scrambled for something to say. "Uh, well, uh, at least, er, the dip got the Jell-O off those pants."

Every single person stared at Evo's crotch. Too late, he realized he wasn't wearing underwear because his were still in their packages somewhere in the truck. With his jeans plastered to his body, evidence of how much he enjoyed Sam's body smashed against his, was clearly defined in front of God and everyone. Evo's humiliation was complete. I smiled when he had the good grace to go with it.

He gave the crowd a wolfish grin, flipped his towel around Sam's neck, and yanked her forward. Her mind had just enough time to register the bulge in his jeans before his mouth closed over hers. He slid an arm around her shoulders and the crowd went wild when he dipped her low enough for her hair to touch the ground. He rested his forehead against her and said, "Now
that
was macho caveman stuff." Before she could protest he kissed her again, this time slowly rising. "That is what you do to me, Samón."

He steadied her and stepped back. To Sam's obvious disgust, she must have realized that somewhere along the way her arms had become entwined around Evo's neck. Looking dazed and confused, she stood there while he picked up her towel and wrapped it around her neck. He tapped the end of her nose with his index finger and said, "We'll continue this conversation later, baby," before he sauntered away.

The whole scene would have played out beautifully for him except his smart-assed exit line snapped her out of her stupor. Sam sprung into action. Her eyes narrowed and a sharp
Crack
resounded as Sam's towel met with Evo's butt. His eyes popped open and he stood frozen as she flipped her towel over her shoulder. She shook out her hair as she sashayed past him. "That is what you do to me, caveman
baby
."

The crowd roared.

* * *

Tony leaned back in his chair by the house and flipped the toothpick in his mouth from one side to the other. He gave himself a mental pat on the back and smiled to himself. "I'd say Round Two goes to Sam."

"Did you say something, Tony?" Al asked as she touched up her lip gloss in the mirror.

"No, nothing important." He smiled wide as he tipped his soda up and drained it.

Sam slammed through the back door and Evo headed to his truck.
Damn no clothes.
He headed back to the rear of the house. Sam stood inside the door bent over, toweling her hair. Evo barely had time to enjoy the scenery before Fred came running with clothes in her hand. Sam thanked her, ignored Evo and stepped into the bathroom.

Evo stood dripping on the tile and asked, "Has anyone seen my clothes?"

He heard laughter from the bathroom. "Should have thought of that earlier."

Fred shoved another towel into his hands and said, "I had Luis and Alfredo help Sam move everything into one of the guests rooms. I'll grab you some sweats or something and I'll be right back." With that, she took off.

Evo stripped off his shirt. It made a sopping splat as it hit the laundry tub. During the process of drying his back, he heard the bathroom door open. He turned to see Sam standing with round eyes and her mouth open. She recovered quickly and cleared her throat.

She took in his long, athletic body, a set of abs to die for and smiled. "No wonder you could sling me around like I weigh nothing." She ran a finger down the middle of his chest and patted his washboard stomach. "Not bad, Castillo, not bad at all."

She dropped her clothes on top of his shirt and went in search of a hairbrush.

Evo looked at the miniscule scrap of lace on top of her clothes. Imagining it wrapped around Sam's backside proved too much for his over-active libido and a surge of heat radiated through his body. Looking up, he realized she'd caught him staring and heat colored his face. One look at her tight little T-shirt that said, "Wisconsin, Come Smell Our Dairy Air," and he bolted for the bathroom.

Sam turned to leave the room, but her voice stopped him cold. "You know, mine still aren't as nice as yours."

Truly perplexed, Evo said, "What on Earth are you talking about?"

"Oh come on, Castillo. There're no secrets here, I saw–"

"Saw wha–?"

Evo jumped backward just as Fred careened around the corner with a set of black sweats in her hand. She hit the water that Evo dripped on the floor and skid the last couple of feet. Evo grabbed her arms and steadied her, and she triumphantly handed over the sweats. "
Whew
," she claimed happily. "That was close."

"I'll say. What would you like me to do with the towels?"

"Oh, just drop them on the floor to soak up the water for now. Someone might come in the door and slip, you know."

Evo chuckled and let her go. "Uh, yes, I can see the possibilities."

"I'll throw everything in the washer to get the chlorine out after you're through. You go ahead and change."

"Right."

Mag and I walked through the door just as Evo turned toward us. We both stopped dead, but Mag recovered first. Always the diplomat, Mag clutched her heart and yelled. "
Hoo-Baby
. I'll take one six pack to go."

I blushed and said to Evo, "You'll have to excuse her. We only have her on loan from the insane asylum. She has to be back by seven to get her medication."

Evo smiled. "That's okay, Buzz. After the beating my ego took this afternoon, I needed that." He bowed low to both of us, crossing the arm holding the sweats across his middle. "Ladies," he said and exited into the bathroom.

I hit Mag in the arm. "You moron, you embarrassed him, besides, I think you've already had your six pack."

"You would be correct, oh sober one, but them were some mighty fine abs, Buzz. Admit it, all that bronze skin…
Whoa baby
."

I sighed. "Yes, I have to admit, he is quite beautiful. Put your tongue in your mouth now, Maggot. That's a good girl."

Evo picked that moment to come out of the bathroom. He squeezed by Mag and me and dropped his wet jeans into the laundry tub. "I can wash these later, Fred. Thank you for getting me these clothes. Now, could you please direct me to my room?

That galvanized Fred into action. "Sure I can. Right this way." We clomped through the house as Fred led Evo to a room a couple of doors down from where Sam closed door. She wore a Cheshire cat grin as she drew even with us. She leaned against the doorjamb. "Looking for these, Evo?" She swung a pair of pink lacy underwear from one finger.

"Not particularly, Sam, but if this is an invitation…"

She threw them at Evo, and they landed on his shoulder. "Those are yours, you idiot, not mine!"

"Oops," said Mag.

"Oh, oh." I said.

"What is she talking about?" Fred wondered.

I grabbed my sisters and pulled them backward around the corner by the stairs.
"Shh."
I poked my head out far enough to see the exchange, and I was jostled from behind as my sisters pushed their way in.

Evo examined the pink lace, but Sam grabbed them back and twirled the panties on her finger. She said, "Come clean, Castillo. These were in with your stuff. They're either left over from your latest conquest, or you are one kinky S.O.B."

Evo drew himself up and looked down his nose at Sam. He took the panties. "They are certainly not mine! Why would you even insinuate that I would, uh, that those things…uh, I don't know…why. There must be some explana–Tony, uh packed my…Oh my God,
Tony!
"