Totally Fishy (A Miller Sisters Mystery) (12 page)

"Great guy, Give him a call. He can see what's eating you from the inside out and give you advice on how not to let it take over your life. By the time you head back home, you can be fat and sassy like the rest of us."

Another voice intruded as one of the twins joined us. He ruffled my hair and threw an arm around my shoulders. "Sassy I'll attest to. Anything else, I'll just say she exaggerates."

He ruffled my hair again and I elbowed him in the ribs. He stuck out his free hand and smiled. "J.J. Green, Evo. Glad to meet you and your brother." He shook Evo's hand and pulled up two chairs. "I saw you talking to my girl and thought I'd better come and rescue you."

I ducked out from under his arm and slapped his butt. "His girl, my eye. He couldn't be that lucky. He is, however, my cross to bear at the moment." I got up to leave and J.J. winked.

As J.J. and I continued our bantering ritual, Evo settled into his chair with a chuckle. He looked a little envious, perhaps of my odd relationship with J.J. I supposed life in the jungle didn't offer up many opportunities to establish deep connections. I stepped away to get us another round, but I stayed within earshot.

I watched as his gaze drifted to Sam hefting a platter of burgers, which tilted precariously toward the ground. He jumped up to grab the platter, but J.J.'s handsome twin got there first. Sam looked up into his eyes and smiled back, the handsome giant touched the end of her nose as he took the platter from her.

Ahhhh,
so that's how the wind blew.

Evo started from his chair and J.J. pressed on his shoulder. "Whoa, fella, she's not going anywhere. Don't mind Bob, he's otherwise occupied," J.J. said. Evo looked up and finally relaxed. His mood didn't look good as he examined the top of his beer bottle.

"Don't feel bad, it happens to all of us."

"What are you talking about?"

"You love her. It's not a terminal disease, you know." J.J. tapped the toe of Evo's shoe with his own.

"You obviously don't know Sam."

The poor guy actually tried to smile.

"Look, I'm not trying to start a male-bonding party or anything, but if I get it, don't you think other people do too? The way I see it, Bob over there is safe. Sam can play and flirt and relax around him because they both know neither one is interested."

"Is your brother blind? Sam's is gorgeous, she's more intelligent than 90 per cent of the population, she's–"

I warned them of my return with a cough. "Do you find intelligence attractive, Mr. Castillo?"

He narrowed his eyes and hesitated before he answered. "Yes, very attractive."

I smiled. "Bob doesn't. He thinks my empty-headed-but-gorgeous sister is attractive. Al is extremely intelligent, but hides it for men like FBI Bob. Part of her psychosis, I think. No one gets serious, no one gets hurt. They play and they part."

Evo watched the banter of the group consisting of Sam, Al, Tony, and Bob. "I just don't get it."

I replaced Evo's empty bottle with a fresh one. I placed a hand on his shoulder and a tidal wave of emotion washed over me. Boy-oh-boy, this man had it bad. Not wanting to frighten him, I started slowly. "I don't understand it either, but
they
do. I always thought it a frivolous waste of time, and insulting to one's intelligence."

I moved in front of him and took his hand. I stared hard into his eyes. "But let me tell you one thing, Evo. You need to let down the barriers these next few weeks. Everything is all bottled up inside you. It's tying you in knots. It's imperative you open up and let her see this side of you. Let her know the real man under the skin. Take this time and learn how to play. I have a feeling you've not played in a very long time, but if you let this opportunity pass you by, you'll look back on this vacation with nothing but regret."

Evo sucked in a breath and his eyes widened as he stared first at me and then at our hands. The slight tingle I felt when I originally took his hand strengthened, and our hands grew warm. He jerked out of my hold and broke eye contact. He looked at his hand and looked at me.

"What are you," he said, rubbing his hands on his jeans, "some kind of fortune teller?"

I raised a brow to J.J., and he patted Evo on the shoulder. "Isn't she something?"

Evo eyed me and slid back into his chair. "Yes, she is, but what I want to know is, what that…," he flapped a hand in my direction, "That uh, thing she did was."

"Just a little Irish magic, my friend. She didn't cast any spell or anything, it's just when she feels a great deal of emotion of some sort pouring off of someone, if she touches that person, most times she can understand the source, or interpret the feelings so the person can channel it in a positive manner."

J.J. blushed and looked at me. "Did I explain it right?"

I sat there stunned. I mean bowled over at how insightful that big dumb copper could be. Still a little dazed at the outpouring of emotion from Evo, I could only nod. J.J. picked me up by the armpits and plopped me in a chair. He gave me his beer and fluffed my hair. I shot him a glare and he beamed. "See? All better now." He patted my knee and took back his beer.

Evo still looked a little shell-shocked, but I figured maybe he'd never met anyone like me before. "Maybe there aren't many Irish people where he comes from, J.J. Maybe I freaked him a bit. Sorry, Evo."

He cleared his throat. "I've never met anyone with your kind of gift before. I would like to talk to you again sometime."

J.J. answered for me and my hackles rose. (I used to hate it when my ex-husband answered for me, as if I was incapable of coherent speech). "Sometime later, perhaps, but it's a little heavy for picnic conversation, don't you think?"

He winked at me.

"Why don't we get together tomorrow over at Mag and Ian's to go over those fish of yours, or we could meet at Fred's in the evening?"

I relaxed, telling myself for the seven hundredth time that J.J. was nothing like Kendrick. Ken did it because he knew everything about everything, and tried for years to beat me into submission (literally and figuratively). J.J. did it out of respect for my gift–or curse–whatever role it took at the time.

Fred came stumbling up just then, carrying a mounded plate of food and a tray table. J.J. jumped first and grabbed the table out of her hands. Fred took the paper plate in two hands just as it creased down the middle. A glop of green Jell-O plopped in Evo's lap, and Fred's face crumpled. Evo leaned forward to stand but was waylaid by a huge black monster that stuck its snout firmly into his crotch. Startled, Evo pitched back in his chair and my Jell-O sniffing dog followed straight into his lap.

"Wesley," J.J. and I both yelled, and the monster spun around in the chair, giving Evo a face full of hairy dog butt. Evo threw his head back out of the way, and the momentum sent him and my 160-pound Newfoundland flying backward, tumbling into the yard.

With his legs still dangling in the air, Evo shoved the great ball of fur off him. He lay sprawled on his back. Wesley snuffled his face and gave him a big slurpy kiss, leaving a stripe of green consisting of bits of grass mixed with doggy/Jell-O slime across Evo's jaw. Wes then sat there expectantly, grinning and wagging his big fluffy tail, waiting for praise, or even better, more food.

Evo did a backward roll, successfully untangling himself from both chair and dog. Because he had dog slime and green Jell-O all over his hands too, he shook his head to get the hair out of his eyes and sat on his knees trying to make sense of what had just happened.

It did his ego little good to see the entire crowd howling with laughter at his predicament. He shot my black behemoth an evil glare, but Wes, oblivious to Evo's ire, basked in the attention. Grinning and wagging his tail, he lumbered over to Evo and delicately licked his fingers. This sent new gales of laughter through the crowd, and Evo gave up and joined them.

Evo stood and found himself immediately accosted by Fred holding a damp towel in her hand. She swiped at the Jell-O clinging to his jeans, and Evo yelped and jumped back when she made contact with his zipper.

Unfortunately for him, she persevered, undaunted and determined to clean the goo off his jeans, but due to the sensitive location of the green smear, Evo remained equally determined to escape with his virtue intact. Every time she lunged with the towel, he jumped back. Evo could hear her sisters yelling at her, but Fred seemed to have a one-track mind. "Hold still, I've almost got it."

The crowd roared and Evo hovered somewhere near panic. "Stop, for God's sake, Buzz, stop her! Sam, help! Get her away from me!
Saaaaam
!"

Sam wiped the tears from her eyes and she and I performed a flying tackle on Fred. We bounced along the ground and Wesley joined in the melee. Women and dog rolled over into a pile of leaves left by the kids. Fred screeched, suddenly laughing and struggled for breath while Sam and I stuffed grass and leaves down her shirt. Mag grabbed up a handful of leaves and stuffed them down the neck of Sam's shirt. Soon, ten grown-ups were whooping it up and joining in the fray. The grass and leaves flew through the crisp late autumn air, and Evo couldn't help but shake his head and laugh along with us.

Evo bent to pick up his camp chair and suddenly felt a cool breeze as Sam grabbed the back of his shirt and stuffed a handful of leaves up his back. With all the dignity of a king, Evo straightened and emptied the leaves onto the ground. He flapped the tail of his shirt a couple of times to make sure it was empty and slowly turned to watch Sam laugh. Fred stood wide-eyed.

Sam sobered when Fred poked her. Evo did not look amused.

Sam smiled. "Oh, lighten up, Castillo. You're on vacation."

"Yeah," I said. "Learn how to relax once in a while. It's good for the soul,
and
the ulcer."

Sam flicked a leaf in Evo's direction and put her hands on her hips. "Didn't you ever learn how to play? Come on, have a little fun." She narrowed her eyes. "I dare you."

10

Evo looked down at Sam and said, "Learn to play, eh?
Dare
me, Fernameanie? I'll show you who can play…"

Sam sidestepped toward Fred. Fred stepped back as Sam continued to taunt Evo. "Come on, Evo, no need to get upset. We're only having a little fun."

"Fun?" He advanced toward her.

Fred stepped back again, but Sam held her ground, a smug expression covering her features. "You don't scare me, big boy. I double dare you to do something fun. Do you even know how?"

"I know how to have fun, Sam, but can you take the heat?" Like a big cat he stalked one step closer.

The crowd "O
oo'd
."

Sam finally had the good sense to look uncomfortable for a moment. "You don't intimidate me."

"That's your first mistake," he said, and took a step forward.

She reached out behind her for Fred and found nothing but air. She looked back and realized her friend had abandoned her. Evo took another step forward and she stepped back. Nervous, but trying valiantly to hide it, she flipped the long veil of straight black hair over her shoulder. Evo's ears flamed red and his breath caught.

Sam raised her chin and took another step back. "I can take whatever you dish out, Dr. King of the World, so stop trying to intimidate me with your macho innuendos."

The crowd bobbed their heads back and forth as if watching a ping-pong match. All eyes were back on Evo and I whispered to J.J., "Well, at least the crowd's attention is diverted from us for a while–which reminds me, buster. You and I have to talk."

J.J. ruffled my hair and said, "Wait 'til after the show, hon. I'm enjoying this."

I let out a
humph
, which made J.J. smile. I pinched the underside of his bicep and he winced and grabbed my hand, moving us forward for a better view of the action.

We moved in next to Sal, who'd closed the diner early so he could "supervise the food." This translated into catching all the latest town gossip first hand. He looked like an excited school kid. I was surprised he wasn't taking notes or pictures. My mother, bless her heart, was.

As the crowd looked on with avid interest, Evo lunged forward before Sam could scoot out of his reach. He grabbed her shirt and yanked her toward him. Their bodies crashed together. They stood frozen, nose to nose, her shirt fisted in his hand, both breathing hard, neither giving an inch. Evo slowly looked over her head into the neighbor's back yard and back at Sam. Sam narrowed her eyes and said through her teeth, "You wouldn't dare."

An evil grin spread across Evo's face, and a quiet chant of "Evo, Evo, Ee-Vo, Ee-Vo" rippled through the crowd. Quickly ducking, he grabbed her around the knees and hoisted her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. She screeched and pounded his back as he turned away from the crowd, striding toward the in-ground pool in the neighbor's yard. The crowd went wild and followed.

Joy Broussard elbowed my mom and said, "Boy, Gerry, I didn't know you planned free entertainment. Mom ignored her and kept clicking.

Mary leaned forward and proclaimed loudly, "Joy, you're always first in line when anything is free."

"Shut up, you old bat, at least I didn't kill a dead coyote today!"