Toys and Baby Wishes (2 page)

"Why wouldn't she want to work again?"  Lexa sat
farther back on the sofa, clearly making herself at home.  "These days,
it's almost a necessity."

"She doesn't need to work.  She's financially secure. 
If she needs anything, I'm here to help."

Lexa shook her head.  "Maybe she doesn't need to work
right now, but she needs--"

"How do you know what she needs?  You can't just advise
people without knowing their situation."

Her cheeks flushed.  "Mr. Flannigan, I majored in
social work and I minored in psychology.  I run a job counseling and placement
center.  I didn't go looking for your aunt, she approached me.  She was sad and
depressed."

Josh felt as if she'd kicked him in the stomach. 
"Depressed?  She's always smiling, whistling, doing something.  Clare's
never depressed.  She's the happiest person I know and you can't seriously tell
me--"

"I can seriously tell you she was depressed.  Just how
much time have you spent with her the past six months?"

During the past six months he had been working more than
usual, making sure his management and sales teams were running without a hitch
so he could squeeze in a much-earned, overdo vacation before the Christmas
rush.  True, he hadn't seen his aunt much...

Hell, why was he feeling defensive?  Ms. Kittredge was the
one who had probably put this hare-brained scheme into his aunt's head. 
"What does that have to do with this?"

"Relatives always seem to be the last to see
discontent.  If you had sat down with Clare and really listened to what she was
saying, you might have realized..."  When he was about to interrupt, Lexa
held up her hand like a stop sign.  "Please let me finish."

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and gave her a nod to go
ahead.

Eye level with Josh's waist, Lexa saw the denim pull across
his thighs.  Realizing he had noticed where her gaze had strayed, she flushed
slightly and raised her eyes to his.  "Clare's friends at the center know
she's been unhappy the past year.  So I'm not telling you anything that's
confidential.  They persuaded her to come to the workshop and to see me.  After
we talked, I realized she didn't really want to get back in the work force, but
she wanted something to put meaning in her life."

"So you advised a venture that could wipe out her life
savings and give her more work than she can handle."

"I advised no such thing.  I told her to think about
what she liked to do, what she wanted to do, and what she did best.  She took
it from there.  She talked to other seniors and discovered she wasn't the only
one who was feeling lonely and empty.  She wants to care for people.  That's
what she did for thirty-five years.  She found two other people who want to do
the same thing.  They want to share their lives, take care of and depend on
each other."

Josh was feeling more and more guilty.  He didn't like the
feeling so he struck out.  "And I suppose you don't get anything out of
this?  You're just a do-gooder who goes around solving people's problems,
giving direction to their lives?"

Lexa's eyes told him he had struck a nerve, that she had
heard the accusation before.  "I've helped Clare find a road that will
bring her happiness, the same kind of happiness my volunteer work gives me. 
You're not thinking about Clare's life, you're thinking about the easiest route
for yourself so you don't have to worry about her."

  The static between them crackled.  "You have no right
to judge me."

She stood.  "And you have no right to judge my motives
or your aunt's capabilities.  Clare's an older woman, not elderly, certainly
not decrepit.  She has wisdom, experience, maturity, and goals.  Goals and
aspirations don't die because you reach fifty or fifty-five or sixty.  She's
smart, interesting, and has a lot to share and no one to share it with."

"She has me!"

Lexa tipped her head back.  "And you think you're
enough to fill her world?  Get serious.  That might have been true when you
were a recalcitrant teenager, but it's certainly not true now."

He felt at a definite disadvantage.  If his aunt had told
this woman about some of his escapades, Lexa was one up on him.  "Aunt
Clare's an innocent when it comes to financial matters.  How does she know she
can meet the mortgage payments, repairs, taxes?"

"If you talk to your aunt...calmly," Lexa
emphasized, "You'll realize she's not going into this blindly.  The
widower who's moving in with her is an accountant."

"You have an answer for everything, don't you?" he
goaded, suddenly wanting to get a rise out of her.  To that end he stepped
closer.  Lexa's perfume wafted around his head; his heart suddenly beat
harder.  A slice of desire startled him.

"No, I don't.  But I've had experience with scores of
people."

"The truth is you feel powerful influencing people's
lives, changing their direction," he accused.

"The truth is, Mr. Flannigan, it makes me feel good,
not powerful.  The truth is you don't want to let go of your aunt.  The truth
is you don't want her to be independent and not need you.  And the truth is I
don't think you'd know the truth if it bit you in the seat of your too-tight
jeans!"

Josh needed to regroup.  Alexandra Kittredge had brought up
some wrinkles he hadn't anticipated--wrinkles that, if she was telling the
truth, couldn't easily be smoothed away.  "I want what's best for Clare,
what's good for her."

"You might not know what that is.  Only she knows. 
I'll leave so you can discuss this without interference." 

He reached for Lexa's arm and when his fingers closed around
it, he saw the same jolt of awareness he experienced reflected in her eyes. 
"Don't leave without saying good-bye to her.  She'll think I ran you out
the door."

"Clare loves you.  She needs and wants your support. 
This isn't easy for her."

Josh's eyes narrowed.  Lexa sounded so sincere.  If she was
on the level, he wondered what had drawn her to Clare, what made her care so
much.  He released her arm and let his hand drop to his side.  "I want to
see her happy.  But I want her safe."

"Even people over sixty might have to take risks to
find happiness."

Had Lexa Kittredge taken many risks in her life?  He decided
to find out more about her.  But not now.  His aunt was his primary concern. 
He didn't stand in Lexa's way when she started toward the den to tell Clare she
was leaving.  He watched the sway of her hips as she walked, and he made up his
mind.  No, he and Alexandra Kittredge weren't finished yet.  Not by a long
shot.

***

After Lexa returned to her town house from Clare's apartment
Sunday evening, she showered and made herself a salad.  Wrapped in a chenille
robe, she settled at her computer to skim the news feed.  But her mind wasn't
on the headlines.

Joshua Flannigan was a force to be reckoned with.  But Clare
was independent enough to do what she wanted.  Lexa felt a deep affection for
her.  Initially, she'd gotten involved with Clare because she needed something
to keep her mind off the ramifications of becoming an adoptive mother.  She was
worried about Dani.  Lexa desperately wanted her sister's child, but right now
she was more concerned about her sister.

The phone rang and she decided to let her answering machine monitor
it.  But when she heard Dani's voice leaving a message, she grabbed the phone
on the end table.

"Dani, I'm here."  Lexa flicked off the tape
recording and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"About the same.  The doctor says the nausea will pass
in a couple of months.  I saw a lawyer."

"And?"

"He doesn't feel there will be any problems as long as
we're both sure this is what we want.  He said to think about it for another
month or so then call him and he'll start the paperwork.  Lexa, are you sure
you want to adopt?  It's too hard to raise a child as a single parent.  That's
why I..."

Lexa's heart tore as she heard Dani's anguish.  At that
moment she despised the man who refused to support Dani.  "Honey, it's
different for me.  I have a sound income.  I have access to good day care here
in Chambersburg.  You know, you could do it if you really want to.  Dad would
help you."

Tears threaded Dani's voice.  "I can't do it, Lexa. 
You're strong.  I can't believe how you've done everything on your own without
Daddy's money."

"That was my choice.  But you can accept his
help."

"I don't want to raise a child--not alone.  And I can't
believe you do."

Lexa had loved and protected Dani since their mother died. 
"Did you tell Dad yet?"

"No.  Not yet.  And don't you."

"I won't.  But you should tell him soon."

"I will.  Eventually.  He'll think I should get married
to save the family name or something.  What a laugh.  Marriage is the last
thing Rob wants to think about."

"Have you seen him lately?"

"Yes.  We argued again.  Lexa, I love him but he
doesn't want to get married.  I told him you're going to adopt the baby.  He
thinks you're crazy."

Lexa knew exactly what she was doing and crazy didn't enter
into it.  Because of a bout with endometriosis, she might never be able to have
children.  The knowledge had plagued her for the last two years.  No one knew
but her sister.  When she learned Dani was pregnant but wanted to give the baby
up for adoption, Lexa had jumped at the chance.  "I can't tell you how
thankful I am you're willing to let me adopt."

"You've always been a terrific big sister even though
I've wanted to pull your hair out more than once.  And I know you'll make a
great mother because you care so much about everyone."

"Hey, you better stop before I get a swelled
head."  The teasing tone disappeared.  "I only want you to do what's
right for you.  I want you to be happy.  Okay?"

"Yeah.  I know.  And after all we've talked about this,
I'm sure it's what I want to do.  Do you think you can drive up next weekend? 
My roommate's going home.  You can stay in the dorm.  Everybody will be at the
football game on Saturday.  I have tickets if you want to go."

"Since Penn State's having such a good season, I might
consider it," Lexa kidded.  "We'll see what the weather's like.  You
don't want to catch cold."

"Yes, mother."

"I'm sorry."

Dani's sigh came through loud and clear.  "It's
okay."  After a pause, she asked,  "What time do you think you can be
here Saturday?"

"About eleven-thirty?  Twelve?"

"The earlier the better.  You're the only one I can
talk to right now."

Dani expected Lexa to be around whenever she needed her, and
Lexa always was.  "I'll get there as soon as I can.  Take care. 
Okay?"

"Will do.  See you Saturday."

Lexa put down the cordless phone, wishing she could protect
her sister better...more.  Not unlike the way Josh wanted to protect his aunt. 
But Clare was mature.  Sixty-three years old.  Dani was immature, sometimes
irrepressible and rebellious even at twenty-one.

Lexa's thoughts returned to Josh.  The brilliance of his
blue eyes and the strength of his chin remained vivid in her mind.  If things
were different, she might want to get to know him better.  But getting involved
with a man now was out of the question.

CHAPTER TWO

Monday afternoon, Lexa pulled open the glass door and
stepped into The Toy Tank--Josh Flannigan's store.  Looking around at the neat,
organized displays, she had a hard time connecting the shaggy, beard-stubbled
back-packer she'd met with the owner of this successful toy store.

Clare had told her how Josh had majored in business
management in college, worked six years for a retail chain, saving every penny
he could, and at twenty-eight had put a down payment on this building and
opened The Toy Tank.  Now he had two stores--one in Chambersburg, one in Harrisburg.

Passing down an aisle stacked high with Halloween costumes,
Lexa smiled.  At the service desk she asked for Mr. Flannigan and the employee
pointed to an office at the rear of the store.

Lexa walked toward it, feeling as if she was confronting the
lion in his den.  She'd thought a lot about Clare and her nephew and didn't
want to come between them.  If she had, she was sorry about it.  But she wanted
him to see his aunt as a capable woman who wanted to do things for herself. 
True, he'd always been an integral part of Clare's life, but Clare's life was
changing.  If only he could accept this change, see how much Clare's senior
friends meant to her...

Lexa stopped short when she saw him through the glass
window.  What a transformation!  His hair was trimmed, but its thick waves
denied attempts to be styled.  His face was clean-shaven.  Sexy in jeans, he
was even sexier in his navy pinstripe suit.  His blue shirt made his eyes a
deeper blue when he looked up and saw her.

The suspicion was still there.

The door to his office stood open.  She stepped inside. 
"Hi.  Do you have a few minutes?"

His expression was guarded.  "Sure.  Have a seat."

He perched on the corner of the desk while she sat in the
leather chair in the corner.

"Clare called me this morning."

He sighed.  "To ask you to talk to me."

"Yes, but I told her this was between the two of
you."

Josh's brows lifted.

"I don't want to come between you."

"But you are.  Your name crops up every two
sentences."

Lexa shifted uneasily in her chair.  "We've become
friends."

"Why?"

"Because..."  She couldn't tell him she looked on
Clare as the mother she'd lost.  Her stepmother had been a poor substitute. 
"We clicked the moment we met."

Josh stood and went behind his desk.  "I apologize for
my attitude yesterday.  I'd driven all day and was looking forward to taking
Clare to dinner.  When I found chaos instead..."  He shrugged and smiled.