Tragic Renewal (7 page)

Noah watched Harper step from the house and make her tentative way down the stairs. His breath stuck in his throat at the sight. Cara’s description of her lacked the finite details of her soft understated magnetism. Harper was a beautiful doe eyed woman with long dark hair and dark pools that he wanted to swim in. The poet in him screamed to write prose that fit the woman he saw kneeling in front of his son. Her reaction to Grayson was the most compelling thing he’d ever witnessed. Her soft eyes widened and tears pooled into dammed rivers on her lower lids.

Brianna reached over to grasp his forearm and looked at him with a wink and a knowing grin. The shock her cold hand should have generated never occurred. His entire being was consumed with watching Harper and his son form an instant bond. Grayson wiped the tears from her eyes as they spilled and hugged her with genuineness born of seeing a mother figure hurting and a driving need to comfort. He’d always been a sensitive boy and when presented with situations most adults would find uncomfortable he thrived and knew exactly what to do to brighten the sufferer’s day. Noah knew Grayson didn’t understand the depths of Harper’s pain, but he could sense what she needed to improve a funky mood.

Noah cleared his throat and waited for Harper to look at him. When she faced him his voice caught. The force of her eyes arrested the thoughts he wanted to express. Her long straight hair was pulled into a sloppy bun and her brown eyes were soft and dewy, still damp from the tears that had fallen. She reminded him of an Indian princess and his hands itched to release her hair from its bun so the picture would be complete. Cara had never mentioned Harper’s nationality, and he never asked to see a picture, the fact that her linage must include Indian blood surprised him.

She stood and approached him as his thoughts whirled and his mouth refused to work. His palms sprang a sheen of sweat when she stuck her hand out for a shake. Placing his palm in hers he gripped tight enjoying the contact high of holding her hand.

“Um… hi… Harper. I’m so happy to meet you. Cara talked about you like you descended from a magical place of perfect women.” He wiped his free hand over his forehead, relieved his tongue decided to cooperate and form legible sentences with the words hiding in his head. Before he started looking like a weirdo he released her hand with a reluctant opening of his fingers.

“Cara did love to exaggerate my qualities. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the truth. I’m divorced, overweight, and semi-depressed.”

He frowned at her half-joking self-deprecation. “Uh… first your husband sounded like a real pain in the you know what, I think you look great, and anyone would be depressed if they’d gone through what you’ve been through.” Noah curtailed the things he really wanted to say about Harper’s ex, minding the little ears that were listening to every word.

Grayson looked up and grinned at Noah. “Daddy, I know what you mean when you say pain in the you know what.” He pointed at his butt and shook it from side to side, then cracked up.

Harper laughed.

Noah shook his head in defeat. Both his son’s statement and Harper’s pure tinkling laughter set off pleasure receptors in his brain.

“Now tell me little mister who told you that’s what I meant?”

Grayson’s words lilted from his mouth with an edge of teasing maturity. “I’m smart old mister, that’s how I know.” His eyes twinkled before he turned and ran toward the barn. “You can’t catch me!”

Noah caught Harper’s eyes as his widened in fake exasperation. “Now I have to chase the little rascal. That kid is wearing me out. How about you come along and I’ll introduce you to the horses?”

“I’d love to meet them.” She turned back to Brianna who hadn’t made a move to follow them.

“I think I’ll head out, you’re in good hands here.” She gave Harper a sly wink before turning toward her car. “I’ll call you tomorrow to make sure you’re all settled. If you need anything before then give me a call.”

Noah watched the exchange. He considered Brianna a friend, but was happy she was leaving. “Alright let’s go find that sneaky little kid.” Noah raised his voice loud enough for Grayson to hear from the barn where he was hiding.

They heard Grayson’s responding giggles before he muffled them.

“Where in the world did that boy go?” He exaggerated his voice and gestured for Harper to play along as they walked toward the barn.

“I don’t know where he went. He’s so little he may have fallen in a hole and be lost forever. Whatever will you do without your baby boy?”

A high-pitched screech issued from the boy. “I’m right here Daddy.” Grayson waved his arms so they could see him standing in front of a rear stall. “I got you good didn’t I?”

Noah turned to Harper. “Do you hear something? I thought I did… no never mind it must have been my imagination.”

Harper dropped her head and shook it with disappointment. “I didn’t hear or see anything. He must be lost.”

As she finished her sentence Grayson came barreling out of the barn laughing like a Hyena, supremely proud of his great hiding job. He ran to them and took each of their hands. “Ha-ha I tricked you both,” he shouted with joy. They walked the rest of the way to the barn with Grayson in the middle leading them.

The horses stood next to the barn waiting for their approach, one nickered a soft greeting. Grayson released Noah and Harper’s hands to run up to the fence. “Grayson be careful, you know what I’ve taught you. Sometimes Roxy gets a little jumpy when you move too fast.” Noah said for Harper’s benefit.

“Did something happen to make her that way?” Harper asked.

“The man Cara got them from was pretty tight lipped about what he did with them, but I suspect she was abused as a foal. Oh, I forgot to tell you which is which. This” he rubbed the mare’s nose on the left “is Roxy, she’s the baby and mom is Penny… as in copper penny.”

Harper moved close to Noah as she reached to pet each mare. Her hand stroked down the long blazes on each nose while their ears pricked toward Noah with expectation. “I bet you normally have snacks for them, don’t you?”

“Good guess. Grayson can you grab some carrots from that little fridge in the feed room?”

“Aye-aye captain!” Grayson gave Noah a sharp salute then ran to find carrots.

“So cute. Is it wrong for me to say I’m jealous you have such a cute little boy?” Harper asked. A range of emotions ran through her words.

Noah watched her for a moment before responding. “Oh, he’s cute alright, he looks like me.” He teased, while he ran his hands through his short wavy hair and pursed his lips.

Harper chuckled. “I bet you charm all the ladies like that don’t you? It’s like walking around with a dog to pick up chicks.”

“Nah, I’m not much of a chick picker upper. Though my crazy mom set me up on a date this Friday, I’m not looking forward to it.”

Harper snickered. “Aww that’s sweet, you can’t be mad at your mom for wanting you to be happy and get some if you’re lucky.” She waggled her eyebrows at him.

He caught the sarcasm in her words and enjoyed the comfortable teasing. “Well,” before he had a chance to say anything else Grayson ran up to them with carrots in each hand.

“Here Miss Harper, you go first.” He searched through the carrots to find the biggest one and handed it to her.

“You’re a very sweet boy, has anyone ever told you that?” Harper ruffled his curls as she spoke to Grayson.

“Ew, boys aren’t supposed to be sweet that’s for girls. But, you can call me nice. My daddy tells me to always be nice.” Grayson said, matter-of-factly with a sharp nod.

“Yes sir you are a nice boy.” She obeyed his edict and looked at Noah.

“Good job Dad, you’re raising a polite little boy here.”

Noah laughed. “Sometimes he takes me too literal.”

Harper jumped when Roxy grew tired of waiting for her carrot and snatched it from Harper’s hand as it waved from side to side as she spoke. Harper laughed and reached to stroke Roxy’s head. “Sorry, girl I was distracted by that not sweet boy over there.”

Grayson stood with hands on hips and tapped his foot, his sneaker stirring small puffs of dust as it hit the barn floor. “Heyyy.”

“What, did I say something wrong?”

Harper’s innocent look cracked Noah up.

“Alright everybody let’s feed these carrots then rustle up their real dinner. No more fighting you two.” He jokingly admonished Harper and Grayson with a wag of his finger.

Noah led the way inside the barn as the horses finished crunching their carrots. He motioned Harper to follow him when he stepped in the small stall containing their food.

With a quick flick of his wrist he popped the lid of a large black trashcan filled with a combination of oats and sweet feed. He inhaled a long breath enjoying the syrupy molasses aroma. Harper sidled up next to him and did the same.

“Wow, I’d like to eat that food myself,” she exclaimed.

“You’re silly Miss Harper you can’t eat horse food.” He looked up at her, his expression serious. “I’ve tried it and it’s gross.”

She reached to grab a handful and pretended to eat a bite, then held it toward Grayson offering him a bite.

Grayson yelled and ran from the stall, giggling.

She looked at Noah. “If you ever grow tired of him, can I have him please?”

Noah laughed. “I might take you up on that sometime.” He paused, considering his next words before he decided to go for it. “I know this will be weird since we just met, but would you be up for babysitting this Friday while I go on my doomed before it starts date?” He held up his hand before she responded. “I don’t normally ask perfect strangers to babysit my kid, but between everything Cara told me about you and how much he likes you already I think you’ll have a ball together.”

Harper’s mouth worked for a moment before actual words flowed out. “I’d love to babysit. We can watch a movie, play games, eat popcorn, or whatever he likes to do.”

“Perfect. We’ll work out the details over the next few days. Besides it gives us a chance to get to know each other better… you know since we’ll be neighbors and all.”

Noah handed her two food filled cups. “I’ll grab the hay and follow you out”

Harper took the cups. Her finger brushed his as she took a cup and her eyes rose to meet his with a quizzical look.

Noah didn’t know what to say as the thrill of such an innocent touch sent a bolt of pleasure through his body. He recovered and hastily turned to break off two flakes of hay for the horses. Hay dust puffed up from the disturbed bale as he broke the string and released the sweet aroma of fresh grass and summer sky. When he turned, Harper was leaving the stall. He hurried to catch up.

Grayson waited next to the first stall. The stall had a sliding door with a shiny nameplate engraved with Penny. A big grin split his little face as they approached. “What took you so long? I almost fell asleep waiting for you.”

“Well, we’re here now. How about you show me where to dump this food.”  Harper replied.

Grayson raced inside the stall. “Right here, right here.” He jumped up and down in excitement.

“Would you like to pour it in?”

Grayson glanced up at his dad who now stood in the entrance. “Can I do it Daddy? I promise I won’t spill it like last time.”

Noah shrugged, unable to deny Grayson’s pleading eyes. “Of course, be careful.”

Grayson took the cup, and with tongue stuck out from the side of his mouth in concentration he poured the food bit by bit ensuring he didn’t spill a single grain.

Harper clapped when he held up the empty cup. “Great job! Wanna do the other one too?” She glanced at Noah to make sure he didn’t object.

He nodded imperceptibly before she handed the second cup to Grayson.

After Noah flung the hay in netted hay bags they walked outside to bring the mares in.

Roxy played with the gate latch as they approached, impatiently throwing her head up and down when she couldn’t get it open.

Once the horses were bedded in their stalls Noah indicated it was time for him and Grayson to head home.

“We’ll stop by tomorrow to see how you’re settling in. I left some food in the fridge for you. I’m a closet chef, so don’t be surprised when you like it.”

Harper continued to wave as they made their way down the drive. Noah watched her in the rear-view mirror until road dust obscured his view. He shook his head in wonderment. She had made him feel a giddy range of emotions that had been locked away for many years.

Harper continued to wave as the truck disappeared from view in a cloud of dust. She turned back to the house and pushed through the front door. Her mind was filled with little Grayson and his look-alike dad. She never expected the captivating pair to charm her the way they had. Cara had mentioned her neighbor a couple of times, but never the entirety of him and his son.

Ziggie startled at her sudden intrusion which must have woken him. He looked at her with eyes conveying the depth of sadness that lurked within his soul. She wished in that moment that he could talk. They could air their grievances and tell funny stories about the force that was Cara.

She walked over and knelt near his bed. “Looks like it’s you and me boy. How about some food?”

His eyes showed little interest in what she was saying, but his tail waved a polite acknowledgment. “We’ll get through this together I promise.”

He stretched on his bed with a huff. His listless pose spoke the volumes of words his mouth could not. She leaned over to stroke his silky fluffy fur. Unlike the first time she touched him, he didn’t become tense, but instead lay there like a large stuffed animal. Her heart ached for this poor beast that couldn’t understand why his owner didn’t return. He must think Cara abandoned him.

Harper spent several minutes stroking him. Her hand ran from the side of his head, over his pointy ear, and across his side. Her hand rumbled across a bony ribcage, each rib stood out even though it wasn’t visible with the thick fur coat that covered it. Even though Noah had been feeding Ziggie, she suspected Ziggie wasn’t very interested in food.

With a sigh she stood then glanced back down at the dog. His tail gave a quick movement and his eye tracked her as she walked away. Harper hoped they would be friends in their shared grief, for now she was going to scrounge up some food to tempt the underweight dog to eat. If her rumbling stomach was any indication it was time for dinner.

In the kitchen she searched for a light switch, needing some light to drive back the encroaching dark of an early winter’s night. When she flipped the switch three spotlights lit the counter of the center island in a warm yellow glow. She pulled open the door of the small fridge. A large brick-red Dutch oven sat on the top shelf. With a tug she slid it from the shelf, surprised at its solid weight. After placing it on a stove burner she opened the lid to view the contents. Even cold, the beef stew within smelled and looked delicious. Harper couldn’t remember the last time she’d had homemade stew.

When she turned back to the kitchen island she noticed a tray that she’d missed on her and Brianna’s earlier walk through. The tray was wrapped in a tight film of saran wrap and had a note stuck to the top.

Reheat @ 350 for 15 minutes - don’t forget to take the plastic wrap of
f
.

Harper smiled as her fingers stroked the neat businesslike handwriting. Noah or Brianna must have snuck the dinner rolls in earlier in the day. She suspected Noah since he’d also left the stew.

Once the rolls were safely in the oven, minus their plastic wrap prison, and the stew slowly warming she went to her car to grab a few things. When she came back inside the aroma of stew and rolls permeated the house. She inhaled a long breath, filling her lungs with the comforting scent of home. Even Ziggie was showing interest in the fresh aromas wafting into his sensitive nostrils. As Harper watched, his black nose twitched from side to side even as his eyes remained sealed shut in sleep.

She laughed at his stubborn determination to remain uninterested in the food he needed to fill his belly. With a large ladle she scooped a generous portion of warm, but not yet hot, stew into a heavy ceramic bowl. When she kneeled in front of Ziggie his eyes popped open in surprise.

“Alright mister, what do you think of this?” She waved the bowl under his nose as he stood and stretched the kinks from his body. He made a point of stretching each limb with slow precision, disregarding the silly human waving food under his nose.

She made her fingers into a scoop and scooped up a large chunk of meat and potato then pushed them into her palm. Her palm stretched flat she offered him the food. He stopped stretching long enough to give it a disdainful sniff then turned in a circle and curled up on his bed. She puzzled over the issue for a moment before a flash of brilliance told her what to try.

After dropping the meat and potato back in the bowl, she dipped her fingers in the gravy. Soothing hums came from her throat as she reached to lift Ziggie’s top lip hoping he didn’t feel threatened. He didn’t resist her latest attempt to entice him to eat, so she continued. With her gravy wet fingers she traced the tips of her fingers under his lip and over bright white canines. His eyes searched her face with a curious gaze. As the flavor absorbed into his mouth his tongue shot out and licked her hand where flecks of gravy still resided.

Happy with her accomplishment she pushed the bowl closer waiting for his complete capitulation to the food. He continued to look at her trying to convey what he needed her to do. Her brows furrowed with confusion. “Really dude, you acted like you liked it.” With a shrug she scooped meat, potato, and a stub of carrot for good measure. She held the offering under his nose as she waited for a response. His ears flicked forward and his mouth came down. He licked the food from her hand and swallowed it in one gulp, then looked at her with expectation.

“Seriously, you want me to feed you by hand? Okay, this once, but don’t get used to it.” Ziggie’s haughty expression didn’t change as he waited for her to do his silent bidding.

Before long, Ziggie had polished off the entire bowl of stew one handful at a time. He licked his chops then waited for more as she held the final bite up to him. “That’s it buddy, all gone.” She held the bowl up for his inspection. He looked at the bowl, glanced at her then lay back down in a stew scented pout.

She reached to rub his head before going to get her own dinner. His tail gave one quick thump before going back to its normal dejected unfurling.

Her mouth watered as she scooped stew into a bowl. The entire time she fed Ziggie she was tempted to shove some of it in her mouth. Scott’s voice in her head screamed about all the germs contained in dog saliva, making her want to do it to disobey him, but logic won the argument.

Before she sat at the small butcher block table she took a roll to Ziggie and laid it next to his head. One eye popped open as he regarded the warm yeasty roll. His eye closed without him snatching the roll. She didn’t see him swallow the roll whole as soon as she wasn’t watching him.

She settled back in her chair before looking back at Ziggie and noticing the roll was gone. With a satisfied smile she dug into the best homemade stew that had ever passed her lips. She had to remember to thank Noah tomorrow and hit him up for the recipe. From now on she was going to be a cooking maven and do whatever was needed to coax Ziggie out of his self-starving state.

After dinner was done and dishes were washed she didn’t know what to do with herself. She’d forgotten to factor in the quiet hours when she made
Get a Life
plans. Her feet carried her with trepidation through the sprawling house. Her footsteps echoing through the empty rooms that had yet to be filled. When she reached the master bedroom, she stopped, unsure of how to proceed.

From the doorway she could see the rumpled bed covered in a lavender silk sheet, a loose matching sheet on the floor, and a heavy comforter on the floor in front of the queen size bed. Brianna had told her nothing had been touched since the accident, so what she was seeing was left exactly as Cara had left it the morning of her death.

Harper’s heart threatened to seize in her chest as she scoped the rest of the room. With a small cry she reached for the door handle and slammed the door shut. She was unwilling to torture herself further with the images that flashed behind her eyes.

Her heart beating a rapid rhythm she returned to the living room. She looked for Ziggie on his bed needing to draw some comfort from the only other living thing in the house, but was surprised he wasn’t lying where she saw him last.

She let out a startled yelp when a cold wet object touched her hand. Ziggie stood next to her with his nose touching her hand. He must have silently followed her as she made her torturous journey from Cara’s bedroom. With relief her hand settled on his head and her fingers rubbed his ears.

Her heart slowed its frantic beat and her breathing returned to normal. When she sat on the couch Ziggie moved closer and rested his head on her knee. His amber eyes flicked back and forth searching for something he couldn’t find.

“How about we find something to watch? Maybe filling the house with a little noise will distract us both.”

Harper laughed at herself for talking to Ziggie, but it was oddly cathartic to voice her words rather than bottle it up. She found the TV remote on an end table next to the couch. The TV came to life and luckily was tuned to a nature show. Harper couldn’t handle any more news stories right now. Her mind and heart couldn’t handle any more right now. She patted the couch next to her encouraging Ziggie to snuggle with her. He hesitated for a moment before stepping gingerly on the couch and settling his heavy head on her lap. His eyes closed and soon loud snores issued from his nose.

Harper continued to pet his head as he slept. Soon she would have to wake him, but for now she was content to let the big dog take whatever comfort he could from his new broken master. They were now in this together and were the only two beings on earth that had loved Cara in the same fierce way.

When she could no longer stand the pins and needles racing through her sleeping leg she had to wake Ziggie. He groaned his disapproval, but reluctantly stepped down from the couch, leaving a few loose white hairs behind. Harper stood and stretched the kinks from her body and shook her hands to get the circulation flowing again. She limped from the living room and found her suitcase.

Once she was ready for bed, she had to decide between using one of the spare rooms for sleeping or settle on the couch. Her eyes drifted to the overstuffed couch with its soft welcoming embrace and her decision was made, no hard-thinking required.

She found some sheets and a ratty quilt in a hall closet. Her eyes heavy with exhaustion she settled on the couch. No sleeping pills or wine tonight, she thought, as her body and mind found a balanced place to rest.

Early the next morning when her eyes opened she noticed a heavy warm weight snuggled in front of her body. She knew exactly what happened and was happy Ziggie decided she was an alright alternative to sleeping alone. With a soft pat on his head she allowed her eyes to drift closed. That night she had more continuous hours of non-medicated sleep than she’d had in years.