Tragic Renewal (8 page)

Harper’s arms stretched above her head and a loud yawn popped from her mouth. Ziggie mimicked her motions before hopping down from his spot on the couch. She missed the warm weight of him next to her.

He stood next to the couch and waved his tail in a soft side-to-side motion, its curl preventing a true wag. She looked into his eyes, and though she could still see the sadness she saw the day before, there now was also a twinkling happy spark. She reached to rub his ears. He groaned with pleasure at her touch then stretched his body in a spine cracking stretch. With a final tail twitch he walked away and pushed through the doggie door. Harper watched as the semi-transparent plastic flapped back into place after he disappeared through the wide opening.

A sense of contentment filled her with a warm sensation, foreign in her life over the last few years. Though it would take time to adapt to this new life, she knew she had made the right decision. She would miss Cara every minute of every day, but over time she knew things would get better. Today she would finish unpacking the moving trailer and find a place to return it. She wasn’t yet ready to confront the ghost of Cara that seemed to linger in the master bedroom, but soon enough she would find the nerve to enter that room.

Harper’s mind flashed back to the night before remembering the bolts of sadness that struck her body when she looked in Cara’s room. The sheets covering the bed were purchased by Harper as a house warming gift not long after Cara moved into her new home.

Harper remembered the day she found the sheets. She was driving around town trying to figure out a gift for Cara’s new home that wouldn’t eat up the rest of her stretched-too-tight funds. The mall loomed ahead begging for her to enter its cool interior and spend money she didn’t have.

With resignation she pulled into the parking lot and parked near the exit. The mall was a massive sprawling monstrosity enticing shoppers to spend the last pennies in their pocket, for stuff they didn’t need. It was a rare day when she conceded to the pull and passed through the dark-tinted sliding doors. That day was a day she gave in and forced her mind to calculate exactly how much she could spend on an impulse purchase.

The food court greeted her, tickling her olfactory senses with irresistible aromas. With herculean willpower she power-walked past tacos, burritos, hamburgers, cinnamon rolls, chocolate, and her Achilles heel – dipped cake balls on a stick. She groaned aloud as she passed the cake stand. Chocolate, strawberry, tutti fruity, brownie – all called out to her, wanting her to stop and partake of their delicious gooey diabetes inducing concoctions. Harper stopped her roving eyes, locking them onto to a Claire’s jewelry store on the other end of the hall, well away from her love affair with cake balls.

Before she reached Claire’s she found an escalator and rode to the upper level. That day was her one and only visit to the mall. She didn’t know what stores they had or where to find bargains. She let her feet guide her while her eyes honed in on each store as she passed. Experience told her to avoid most of the big name stores unless they were running a sale. Though she had many ideas for a possible gift, she couldn’t afford any of her favorite ideas.

She continued walking passing teeny-bop clothing stores, over-priced jewelry counters, outdoor stores advertising the latest camping equipment, and shoe stores before her eyes were drawn to a store she didn’t recognize. The cardboard sign outside the store advertised a giant sheet set sale. Harper passed the store without a backward glance. Before long her feet stopped without her instruction and turned back to the Linens and Things store. Sometimes her brain and feet didn’t cooperate, but this time they were working as one unit, with her being the last to know their plans. She laughed to herself. Sometimes she was a bit nutty.

When she entered the store she was surprised at the variety of goods contained within its large interior. She followed the signs advertising the sheet sale with arrows pointing toward the rear of the store. When she reached the designated sale area she saw numerous bins filled to the top with every possible variety and thread count of sheets.

Her eyes immediately fell to the bin announcing silk sheets. The sale price was $20 for a complete Queen set. Harper knew before digging through the bin that she’d found the perfect gift, and would even have enough left over to buy an apple-scented candle with her $50 budget. Luck was on her side when she approached the bin. A gorgeous dark lavender Queen set sat on the top of the pile, practically begging her to take it home. She snatched the set before anyone could put their grubby hands on her prize.

Sheets secured in the cart she strolled through the store browsing shelves, wishing for money to buy things she didn’t need, before she found the candle collection. Candles of every size and scent populated the floor to ceiling shelves. Harper popped lids off more candles than she could count. Many scents repelled her, she couldn’t figure out how people could put these in their home and live the with headache inducing aroma they must produce. She continued scanning labels until her eyes landed on a black label with a large red apple and cinnamon sticks. Before she popped the top she knew it was the right one. With a deep inhale she took in the aroma before capping it back.

Happy with her finds she proceeded to check out. The bag hung from her arm swinging from side to side and change jangled in her pocket. She had stayed within her budget and had a little left over. Before she left the mall she knew she would have one fudge dipped cake ball secured in her fist.

Harper beamed at the memories, she remembered Cara’s reaction when she got the sheets in the mail a few days after the mall visit. She remembered the chocolate melting on her tongue from the cake ball she had consumed on her way home from the mall. Soon she would have to confront those sheets wrapped with the memories of Cara, but for now she would procrastinate until she found the nerve to push through that door again.

As Harper washed her breakfast dishes she heard a knock on the front door. Grabbing a towel to dry her hands she made her way over and pulled the door open. Noah stood on the other side with a wide grin and a sparkle in his royal blue eyes.

“Well, good morning you look awful perky for,” Harper glanced at her watch “8:30 in the morning.”

“Every day I wake up is a good day.”

Harper smiled. “The guy that ran the apartments I used to live in said the same thing, but he’s really old.”

Noah shrugged. “What can I say, it’s a great edict to live by.”

Harper stared as his tousled hair and broad shoulders covered by a blue and black flannel shirt. Her mind wandered as she imagined running her hands over the soft fabric and feeling the hard muscles that were sure to be hidden under its surface. Her eyes glazed over for a second before she snapped herself back to reality. It’d been too long since she’d been with a guy, she admonished herself for thinking of her new neighbor in that way.

He watched her eyes as they came back into focus. “Where’d you go? I could tell something was on your mind.”

Harper’s cheeks warmed with embarrassment and dimples appeared as she tried to keep from grinning. “Uh, uh, I’m not sure. So where’s that little ray of sweet sunshine who is your son?” Satisfied the subject had been changed she waited for Noah to respond.

Noah’s eyes narrowed as though he knew she wasn’t telling the truth about her inner musings, but he didn’t mention it. “He goes to pre-school for a few hours each morning. I want him to be ready when it’s time to start Kindergarten next school year.”

“I bet he wraps his teacher around his little finger. He’s a really sweet boy.”

Noah shook his head. “You have no idea how much they adore him, he could get away with whatever he wanted, and they’d never know what hit them. I thought I’d drop by this morning to help you with morning chores and show you the rest of the farm.”

“Oh, okay. That’s a great idea. I was planning to return the trailer, but that can wait until later I guess.”

“How about I return the trailer for you when I pick up Grayson from pre-school? That will free up your afternoon for exploring the town if you like.”

Harper’s voice caught a little when she responded. “That’s really nice of you Noah. Is everyone in this little town so helpful?”

Noah nodded. “You’re going to love living here. Of course there are a few screwballs like any other place, but for the most part its pure small town goodness.”

She smiled at his description. “That’s a very eloquent explanation. I look forward to getting to know the town. I’m already understanding why Cara chose it.”

“Ready to get started on the morning rounds?” Noah asked.

Harper followed him to the barn where they scooped food for the horses and fed them their morning meal. Both mares’ heads hung over their stall doors, and they nickered in unison when Harper and Noah approached their stalls.

“While they eat I can show you around the farm.”

Before leaving the barn Noah stopped in a stall next to the feed room and pointed toward a shiny red tiller. Its tines sparkled with obvious newness, no self-respecting tiller was dirt-free.

“It looks brand new,” she noted.

Noah looked at her with a combination of sadness and pain. “Oh, I guess you don’t know.”

She furrowed her brows at him. “Know what?”

He hesitated for a moment then swallowed a loud gulp. “That’s where Cara and Susan were going the morning of the crash… to pick up the tiller from The Farm Store. Cara wanted to get started tilling her garden even though it was early in the year. I only know that because Bill, from the store, told me he called that morning to tell her it arrived.”

An aching twinge raced through Harper’s body. Cara died because they were going to pick up a tiller, a tiller of all things. Suddenly black spots danced before her eyes and light-headedness ruled her psyche.

Before she could fall Noah was at her side holding her elbow, he yelled at her from the end of a long dark tunnel. “Harper, Harper, are you okay?” His voice got louder as he spoke.

With a flash she was back to normal but her stomach remained queasy as her mind chanted the stupidity of dying because a piece of farm equipment came in early. If she was honest with herself though, the only reason Cara died was because of the idiot who got blasted on a Saturday morning and decided to take an intoxicated drive.

“Can you help me find somewhere to sit? I need a couple of minutes.”

Noah guided her to a small bench in front of Roxie’s stall. He watched her with concerned eyes. Harper looked up at him, becoming lost in the depths of his sympathy. “Thanks again, Noah. Careful, or I may start believing you really are a nice guy, and I wouldn’t want to ruin your reputation like that.”

Harper sat still for many minutes sucking in steadying breaths to calm her jittery nerves. Noah sat next to her, a silent comforting presence allowing her the time to get control. She glanced at him and thought how different Scott would have reacted to the same situation.

The days following the loss of their first son were a white hot hell for Harper. Her anxiety over burying her child was higher than the farthest planet, and Scott did not handle it well. What should have garnered his sympathy and understanding instead turned into an odd jealous mixture of manipulation. He yelled at her to get it together and told her she was spending too much time crying. In reflection she knew she should have left him at that point, but chose to stay believing marriage is forever and every issue can be resolved. She chalked his abhorrent behavior to his version of grief.

Any show of emotion from Harper induced Scott’s condescending nature. He expected everyone, including Harper, to bend to his will based on his military rank. In public he showed his comrades an attentive husband, but when the doors closed his deceitful mask came off. Though he never physically abused her his emotional abuse was better suited for torturing criminals than loving a wife.

Noah touched Harper’s arm with a gentle bump. “Harper, are you okay? You seem lost in some other world… would you like to talk about it?”

A single briny tear dripped from Harper’s eye. When she looked at him the force of his gaze caused a sweet thrill she couldn’t identify. “I… uh… I was thinking about how my ex would’ve handled me having a minor breakdown. Let’s say he wouldn’t have tolerated it so well.” Before he could ask the question she knew was queued waiting for asking, she spoke again. “Not physical abuse, Scott didn’t degrade himself with such simplistic forms of abuse. He was much better at messing with my mind.”

Color rose up Noah’s neck and stained his tan cheeks a darker shade. “I hope I never meet this guy. I might have a few things to say to him if I do. And, I’m not above physical abuse when it’s deserved.”

Harper’s heart suffused with warmth at his words. A feeling of euphoria passed through her center for this man she barely knew. Not since her father, had any man deemed to defend her honor in such a way. She’d never told anyone, including Cara, about the emotional wreckage Scott caused within her soul. Though Cara knew on an ethereal level, Harper never confirmed, for fear Cara would destroy Scott in some way.

“Thank you, Noah, it really means a lot to me. No fear of him turning up here though, he’s moved on with his new life now. Him and Isabella are living their life and waiting for the baby who should show up any day now.”

Noah shook his head in response and whispered under his breath. “Jackass of the year award goes to Scott whatever the hell his last name is.”