Tragic Renewal (9 page)

Harper smiled and clasped his hand, enjoying the tingle that accompanied the innocent joining palms and fingers.

Ziggie, who had followed them out of the house, had been exploring the yard. With a huff he looked at their joined hands and placed his head on Harper’s knee, his eyes twitched back and forth between them.

“Well, look at that. He already looks happier than I’ve seen him. You must have given him a magic pill.”

Harper laughed. “Nope, just some of that chef’s stew you left in my fridge.”

Noah smiled at Harper as she told him about coaxing Ziggie into eating stew and how she had to feed him each mouthful as though he were a baby bird instead of a 120 pound dog.

“I think this afternoon when I’m exploring the town I’ll find him some wet dog food to tempt him more than the dry he’s been barely eating,” she said.

“That’s a good idea, but what are you going to do if he wants you to feed that by hand?” he said. A teasing grin formed on his face.

“I’ll do whatever I have to, including feeding him by hand every day.” A determined frown creased her brow.

“I have no doubt you will. Ready to finish up the morning chores?”

She held her hand out in front of her, the trembling was gone and her stomach remained solid. “Yep, I’m good now.”

“Okay, first thing is to get these girls outside.” He wagged his thumb at Roxy and Penny, their heads now hung over their stall doors watching them.

Ziggie trotted over to sit in front of Roxy’s stall while Harper snapped a lead on her halter. Noah mimicked Harper’s motion and led the way from the barn.

Penny and Roxy ran and kicked their heels, fully enjoying the cool morning air and freedom in their small paddock. Noah and Harper leaned on the fence watching their antics for a few moments before returning to the less pleasant chore of stall cleaning.

Once the stalls were cleaned they made their way outside where Noah showed Harper the site for the vegetable garden.

He gave her a tentative look before he explained about the garden. “This is the garden Cara and Susan were working on the morning of the accident. I think her plan was to plant fast growing veggies to sell at the farmer’s market to bring in some income.”

Harper caught his look, eliciting a tender sensation for this man that cared enough to be sensitive to her feelings. Scott would have steamrolled over what he considered weaknesses and belittled her for any show of tentativeness. Her mind again spun back to the days following the death of their firstborn, but she clamped down on it before it could overwhelm her twice in one day. She was beginning to realize how much Scott had ruled her life and attempted to control her every whim.

She glanced around the fenced enclosure, noting the sheer size and wondering if she had the stamina to maintain such a large space. “It’s huge, I admit I’m a bit intimidated as someone who’s killed houseplants and never planted a single flower.”

“I’ll make you a deal, neighbor, you let me keep some fresh veggies and I will help you get it up and running.”

Harper stuck out her hand. “Deal, neighbor.” She winked at him. “Though I think I’m getting the better bargain in that deal.”

“It’ll be my pleasure to help. Shall we continue to the rest of the property?” Before she responded, he grabbed her elbow and tugged her in the direction he wanted to go.

Harper’s eyes widened as they crested a small hill. A several acre pond stretched before her. She remembered seeing Cara’s sketch containing a pond, but had forgotten about it until seeing it in person. An enormous tree with twisted limbs and weeping branches graced one side of the pond, its ancient form visible in its naked winter undress.  She imagined what the graceful old tree looked like when covered in leaves that must touch the surface of the pond.

Noah saw her looking at the tree. “It’s a weeping willow, wait until you see it in the spring, it will take your breath away.”

Harper’s eyes widened at his echo of the exact thoughts running through her mind. “I was thinking the same thing.”

In the sketch Cara had penciled in a small gazebo overlooking the pond, but she didn’t recall the tree being part of the sketch. The gazebo must have been in Cara’s long term planning to build the structure, one more project that would never get finished. Harper started to speak at the same time Noah opened his mouth. She conceded and told him to continue.

“I remember Cara mentioning wanting to put a gazebo next to the pond.” He turned to face her before he continued. “How would you feel about me building one in her memory?”

Harper’s mouth worked, but nothing came out. A gentle heat diffused her body at the generosity of a man she’d just met.

He watched her try to expel words from her mouth, and a caring smile stretched across his face. “I want to do it in honor of her. I feel terrible for what happened and wanted to do something meaningful to remember her by. What better way than a gazebo overlooking her favorite spot on the farm?”

Harper stared over the pond. The pond’s still surface reflected the fluffy clouds hanging in the bright blue sky and the tree’s skeleton painted along its shoreline. She struggled to quell the fresh tears that were waiting to be shed. A small gust of wind rippled the surface and shattered the sky’s reflection. A hint of wood smoke reached her nostrils, carried on the breeze.

When she had control of her emotions she looked at Noah. “Cara would’ve loved knowing you built it for her. I will pay you for it of course.”

A flicker of mixed emotions crossed his features before he settled on a disappointed frown. “Harper, I think you already know I won’t take money for it. I volunteered to do it. I wouldn’t accept money for it even if you snuck it in my wallet.”

Harper tried again, ignoring his comment. “But I got some money from Cara’s life insurance and am supposed to get more after the car insurance claim is settled.”

He turned fully toward her and grasped both her hands. “Harper, I can see you have a bit of a stubborn streak, but I will build it with no monetary donations from you.” A grin crept over his face. “You use that money to keep this farm going and make repairs. That’s what Cara would have wanted.”

The warmth of his touch sent a quick thrill through Harper’s body. She enjoyed his touch, but shook her mind clear of any wanton thoughts. He was going on a date in a few days while she watched his kid. Besides, her experience with men consisted of a grand total of one rotten stinking mess of a human. Day by day she was realizing the full truth of how poorly Scott had treated her. Someday she hoped to start a relationship with a man who would treat her right.

A tight chrysalis had formed around her heart and the person with the key to opening it was out there somewhere, maybe even in this small town waiting for her. A fleeting hope that it would be Noah flashed through her mind before she squashed it. She surprised herself when her mind frequented thoughts of Noah. In her previous life she’d never even considered another man. In her marriage she remained devoted even after she found out about Scott’s wandering ways. Though her love affair with food could have used some trimming, at least there hadn’t been a chance of her bringing home an STD along with a bag of fast food.

Over the year since their separation and divorce Harper hadn’t allowed herself to entertain thoughts of another relationship. Being in a new place and meeting new people was doing something to her viewpoint that living cooped up in an apartment and overindulging on food, wine, and sleeping pills had prevented. Too many variables came into play and her depression put a damper on thoughts of love and happiness. Never having a truly healthy relationship with a man had made her damaged goods in her opinion.

She couldn’t imagine a man that would be willing to carry her emotional luggage and come to like her as the person she knew was hiding deep within her psyche. The scars Scott left behind ran through every faucet of her being, no amount of vitamin E could hope to reduce her interior scar tissue. Years of petty belittlement, snarky comments, and outright personal attacks on her appearance had left her a shell of her younger self.

She remembered the day she met Scott and how hard he pursued her when she didn’t immediately succumb to his charm and obvious good looks. Over time his looks faded, not in a physical way, but in a melting iceberg in the hot sun kind of way. Harper saw the man under the mask, the pensive belittling husband who enjoyed demoralizing her in the sanctity of their home. On the surface he portrayed a calm serious man with military bearing and a penchant for harmless flirting. Young male airman who dared to question his authority paid the price for their mistakes behind closed doors.

On more than one occasion Scott boasted of how he had given official derogatory paperwork to enlisted members for questioning his authority in the slightest. He made fun of the tears they shed as he ruined their careers with a simple statement saying the members were not fit for military duty. His compatriots never saw that side of his masochistic personality, all they ever saw was the uber-professional officer in charge of their military futures. He convinced teary eyed young men that they were better off working the pickup window at a drive-through than wasting their time serving their country.

Harper suspected he had more than one affair with subordinate female airman in his chain, but was never able to confirm her suspicions. The airmen conceded to his high-ranking status and never told of his despicable practices. She had buried her head and played dumb, to her detriment, for many years. It was easier to plead ignorance than share her shame with the world. Hindsight and distance from him cleared her mind and brought reality into sharp focus.

Without some sort of serendipitous contact from someone he used his rank to manipulate she had no course of action. His retirement from the military removed his power over enlisted personnel, and his new job of contractor voided any influence he once had. Harper didn’t have any obligation to tell Isabella of Scott’s wandering ways. Isabella knew of his philandering propensities the day she chose to plaster herself on a married man and he reciprocated.

She was lost in thought when something bumped her arm. “Hey, where’d you go? Feel like talking about it?” Noah asked with concern in his voice.

She looked at him. “You must think I’m a real flake. I’m easily distracted and get lost in thought, sorry.”

He frowned at her. “Harper, what I see is a woman going through emotional turmoil. Someone who could use a friend and confidant to get all the crap off her chest.” He reached to squeeze her hands again.

“You’re a very sensitive man aren’t you? Careful or I may start unloading, and when I start I can’t promise I’ll ever finish.”

“And?”

His willingness to listen to her problems flummoxed her. Her only comparison for how men were supposed to act was a poor example at best. Scott would have informed her with succinct degradation that she needed to get a handle on her overreaction and quit being weak. Though her dad was a good and gentle man during her childhood, living twenty years with Scott had clouded how a good man was supposed to act.

She chose to give him a tidbit of what was on her mind, not willing to overwhelm her first friend in her new life. “I think Scott messed around with young female airman under his command when he was in the military. I chose the easier path of ignorance rather than verifying my suspicions.”

Noah took a moment to respond while he considered the problem. “I don’t know you very well yet, but I suspect you were busy dealing with the crap he was piling on you during that time. Your suspicions wouldn’t have amounted to anything but denials and retribution if no-one came forward. He may have used his rank to manipulate them, but if they never admitted it what could you have done?”

Harper puzzled over his new viewpoint, one she hadn’t considered. “Oh… well, I guess I never thought of it like that.”

“One other thing, in those situations I think the wife is always last to know. It doesn’t make you ignorant that you wanted to trust your husband while he betrayed you.”

Ziggie wandered up at that moment and plopped down on Harper’s foot. He looked up at her and whined low in his throat.

“Guess it’s been too long since you got attention.” She scratched his head while his tail switched back and forth in its not quite wag.

“I’m happy with the change in his attitude. I was getting worried about him.” Noah said then leaned over to pat Ziggie’s head.

  Ziggie enjoyed the double attention his tail flapping ever faster as a groan grumbled through his body.

“Noah, I think it’s time we get on with the rest of our day.”

“Yep, let’s get that trailer unhooked so I can return it for you. When you’re driving around town today you should stop at The Farm Store and buy some riding pants and boots. We can go out for a ride on Saturday if you’re up for it.”

Harper hesitated. “I’ve only ridden trail rides with hack horses that follow one another. I wouldn’t even know how to steer.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll help out… and Roxie will take care of you. Besides it’ll be a way to thank you for watching Grayson on Friday.”

She warmed to the idea, imagining riding through the thick forest on a horse and with Noah held a certain sense of wonderment. “Wait, what about Grayson?”

“Oh, I have a buddy saddle so he can ride with me on Penny. So do we have a date?”

The word date bounced around inside her head on happy springs. “Yes, it’s a date.”