Tragic Renewal (6 page)

“You know, Cara mentioned something about him helping her with a rotten spot on her porch right after she moved in.”

“Oh, and, I’m sad to say when I spoke to him yesterday, he said Ziggie, the giant Akita with the sad eyes? He said he thinks Ziggie is depressed and the only thing that cheers the dog up is when he brings his four year old son, Grayson, over to visit.”

“Interesting, one more puzzle I’ll have to figure out. Thank you so much for all you’ve done. Would you mind coming with me to see the property? I’m a little… uh leery of how I will handle being in Cara’s space right now.”

“Absolutely, let me get my coat and I’ll lead the way.”

Noah shook his head as he listened to his mom, Connie, gab on the other end of the phone.

“Son, it’s time you put yourself out there. It’s been over two years and you’ve been moping around like that flighty creature of a human you called wife is ever going to return. You know I never did like that woman, good riddance. Anyway, I’ve set up a date for you with Jamie Watson on Friday. Pick her up at 7:00 at her house, she’ll be waiting.” Connie, pushy by nature, never considered her son might not want to date Jamie Watson.

“Seriously Mom?” Noah replied as frustration tinged his words. “I’m a grown ass man.” He clamped his palm over his mouth as he searched for his son, hoping Grayson didn’t hear the curse. Relieved when he didn’t spot his son, he continued. “I’m capable of finding my own dates. Quit trying to run my life.” Noah was immediately contrite for talking forcefully to his mom, but sometimes her plans overran the bounds of normal and she needed to be prodded back to her place as mom, not matchmaker.

The gap of silence told Noah he had hurt her feelings. “C’mon Mom don’t be upset, I will find someone when it’s time. Right now I’m focused on raising your grandson, remember him?”

“How could I forget that little boy who needs a mother?” Connie’s petulant reply annoyed Noah, but he chose the easier route of making his mom happy rather than stirring the fire ant’s nest that was her nature.

“Here’s what I will agree to, but I need your solemn promise this is the last date you will set me up on,” Noah paused as he waited for her agreement before continuing.

He fought his urge to fill in the empty air with more words while he waited for her stubbornness to wane.

“Okay, tell me what you’re agreeing to,” she said with defeat. “I promise I won’t set you up on any more dates.”

“I will take Jamie out this Friday, but you need to understand that it’s a single date and I’m not interested in her. I never have been. She’s a nice woman, but she’s not for me.”

“How can you not like her? She’s gorgeous, has giant boobs, and from what I understand she doesn’t mind putting out.”

Noah’s face turned baboon butt red at her last statement. Connie was missing some major filters when it came to her son.

“First of all Mom, you need to stop gossiping with your pinochle group, and second, gross. You shouldn’t be talking to me about those things.”

Connie giggled like a school girl. “I know I shouldn’t, I like imagining how red your face is right now. You were always so easy to embarrass. Don’t worry, son, my solemn vow stands. No more fix up’s after this one. From now on, I’ll leave you alone and let you choose who to date.”

Noah rubbed his hand through his thick black hair, cut short to keep its natural curls in check. “Mom, I need to go so I can hunt down my missing son. You know he likes to get into things when I’m distracted.”

“Alright, call me after your date and tell me how it went.”

“Yeah, right, Mom, like that’s going to happen. Bye, you stubborn old woman.”

He hung the phone up then set out to search for Grayson.

“Mr. Grayson where are you little man?” Noah shouted, projecting his voice through their modest home.

From the floor above he detected a faint response. Noah crept up the stairs, carefully avoiding the creaky spots, ensconced in a game of find the missing kid. When he reached the landing he turned left then tiptoed across the slick hardwood floor in his socked feet.

He heard a shrill giggle before he spotted Grayson. Grayson, seated at the top of the old laundry shoot, ready to launch down the slick yellow plastic tube.

“Grayson, don’t you do it, don’t you do it.” Noah’s voice rose with false fear and playful admonishment.

Noah watched as Grayson’s wild black curls bounced around on his head and a stream of bubbly laughter flowed behind him as he launched from his seat atop the shoot.

Noah ran to the shoot, shouting and laughing. “No, no, no what am I gonna do without my little man? Oh, please someone save me from this heinous torture.” He yelled in mock agony at the boy’s back as he disappeared from view.

Grayson’s laughter stopped with a thump then started back up. Tinkling little boy notes sang of boundless child joy. Noah could hear Grayson racing up the stairs then slamming the basement door, ready for another round with the slide monster.

The slide monster came into being two years ago when Noah’s wife, Debra, left a Dear Noah letter on their kitchen table and disappeared from their lives. A few weeks after her disappearing act, as they were coming to terms with her being gone, an envelope arrived via messenger with divorce papers. Debra didn’t want anything, including visitation rights with her son, her freedom from a life she no longer wanted. Noah granted her the divorce, and they hadn’t heard from her since.

During the initial weeks the shock and disbelief threatened to overwhelm Noah. His need for an outlet pushed his creative mind into overdrive. With Grayson’s input Noah designed the indoor slide. He ripped out the old laundry shoot and replaced it with a series of enclosed playground slides. The slide’s thick smooth plastic made the perfect ramp for a fast exhilarating ride, longer than any playground slide he’d ever seen. It looked more like it belonged in a water park with its twists and bends. The end of the slide dumped out onto a large mattress set into a foam covered frame.

Grayson stomped up to Noah with the heavy tread of a kid hopped up on fun. He wrapped his four year old arms around Noah’s legs. “Daddy, come slide with me. It’s sooo much fun.” He stared up at his dad with pleading eyes. A tiny trickle of sweat ran down his face and dampened the neck of his neon green T-shirt.

Noah, wholly incapable of denying this precious kid any whim he agreed to one trip. “Listen up little dude, one trip only. I have to finish up work for Mr. Danny then we need to go next door to feed the animals.”

Grayson clapped his hands with excitement. He loved going to feed the animals and there was a mutual adoration between Ziggie and Grayson. So far the boy was the only person the giant dog responded to since Cara’s death. When Noah first met Cara and saw the size of the bear sized beast of a dog he pushed Grayson behind him for protection if the need arose. It was all for naught because Ziggie was an absolute marshmallow for the kid. Ziggie’s reception of Noah was lukewarm at best, but he never showed aggression, but instead a haughty attitude of Noah not quite making the short list of his loved people.

Noah’s heart ached for Ziggie when he saw the depression clearly evident in the dog’s eyes. He watched the dog walk around the fenced yard and through the empty house in abject dejection. With tail uncurled and hanging between his back legs he moped the days away. Twice a day they went to the house to feed the horses and Ziggie as he waited for answers to what would happen to them and the farm. Though he trusted the dog around Grayson, Ziggie refused to leave his home. When they visited Ziggie would momentarily perk up at the sight of Grayson, but before they left would always be back to moping. Noah knew he ate the food that was left, but seemed to be losing weight from stress. The dog’s too human reaction to grief was hard to watch and Noah hoped something would change soon for the big dog.

The previous day Brianna Smoth had knocked on his door. With excitement she recounted that Cara’s friend Harper was coming to town, but Harper didn’t yet know that Cara had left everything to her in the will.

Cara had mentioned her best friend to him once while he was helping her replace some rotted wood on her porch. Her eyes shone with love when she spoke of Harper. Her voice hardened into scary iron when she talked about Harper’s philandering ex-husband and his manipulative control over her during their ill-fated marriage. She told him of the lost babies making his heart hurt at the thought of losing one child, much less three in that way. That evening he gathered Grayson close and allowed him to sleep in the big bed. His imagination ran with the torture Harper must have gone through with the first signs of early labor, and she knew she would lose another baby.

When he saw her hunched on the bench in Duck Pond Park he wanted to stop and comfort her. He wanted to introduce himself and tell her how much he enjoyed having Cara for a neighbor, and how sorry he was that her ex-husband didn’t treat her better. His inner shy boy stopped him from doing any of those things, but with her possibly moving in next door he would have a chance to make up for it.

Noah’s eyes drifted down when Grayson squirmed. “Daddy, let’s go now, what are we waiting for?”

Noah bopped Grayson on the crown of his head with a gentle bump. “Alright kiddo, I’ll race you down. Ready, set, go…”

Grayson shot from his standing position, then turned with shining eyes and stuck out tongue. “Ha ha, I win, see you on the bottom.” His head vanished as he climbed into the tube face down.

Noah rushed to the slide in time to see the bottom of Grayson’s mismatched socks. He listened for the thump before climbing into the entrance. “Here I come, get out of the way or you’ll be squashed like a bug.” His voice echoed through the tube and bled out the other end.

“Go daddy, go. I’m out of the way.” The return response was almost immediate.

Noah shoved out and raced down the tunnel, static crackling around him as his speed created friction on the plastic slide. Grayson stood to the side of the mattress as Noah raced through the opening and plopped into the mattress with a soft thump.

Grayson clapped his hands and cheered his dad’s descent. Noah stood and scooped the whooping boy into his arms and hugged him tight to his chest, swinging him round and round.

Grayson’s endless string of giggles was infectious as Noah placed him on the floor.

“That’s it little man let’s head next door so we can feed those starving animals. If we don’t get there soon they’re liable to break down our door and eat us,” Noah teased.

“Uh uh Daddy, you’re fibbing on me. Horses eat grass, and Ziggie loves me.” Grayson waggled his eyebrows. “Though he might take a bite out of you.” He let out a raucous snort and took off running for the stairs.

Noah caught him before he reached the first riser. He scooped up the little boy and placed him on his shoulders. Grayson’s hands snaked down to grip Noah around the throat as they made their way up the stairs.

“Faster daddy faster.” When Noah’s pace slowed, Grayson kicked his feet like he was spurring on a reluctant horse.

“You’re wearing me out, let me walk for minute. Actually, I have a better idea how about we change spots and I ride your shoulders. How’s about that?”

“Daddy, you’re so silly. You’d crush me if you sat on my shoulders.”

“I sure would, now be nice to your old man while he’s carrying you around like a sack of stinky onions.”

Grayson snickered and bounced up and down as Noah left the house and headed for their truck.

As he slammed his door he looked up and saw the dust stirred from two vehicles heading down the main dirt road. He recognized the lead car as Brianna’s Buick and he assumed the second car pulling a tiny U-Haul trailer must be Harper.

He keyed the ignition and headed down the driveway both terrified and anxious to meet Harper.

Harper gripped the steering wheel tighter as it threatened to shimmy out of her hands. The dirt road, rough and rutted, jiggled and wiggled every part of her body while she clamped her teeth into a death grip to keep from biting off her own tongue. She shook her head as Brianna drove ever faster over the rutted dirt road in desperate need of a road grader. A relieved sigh escaped her lips when she saw Brianna apply breaks and flip on the turn signal. She glanced in the review mirror to reassure herself that the trailer had survived the journey.

The dust kicked up from Brianna’s tires momentarily obscured the property from view, but when it cleared Harper applied the brakes and stopped to take in the sight. Though the home was rundown, the land surrounding it was gorgeous. A long dirt drive encased in ragged shade cast by massive leafless oak trees created a tunnel that belonged in storybooks. She’d never seen anything quite like it. The old-timey vibe reminded her of southern plantations with oak trees dripping Spanish moss and garden parties where little girls wore dresses and white straw hats. The fields looked like they were straight from a Kentucky horse farm complete with expanses of open pasture and two grazing horses though the fencing was limited to a small area around the barn. Harper remembered Cara telling her about the difficulties of ripping down all the rotting wood fencing and her plans to replace it all with white vinyl when she could afford it.

Her eyes filled at the thought of all the things Cara would never be able to finish. She eased her foot off the brake and finished her trek down the long drive. Brianna stood next to her car smiling and waving as Harper pulled next to her car and parked.

“It’s inspiring isn’t it?” Brianna asked as Harper slammed her door shut and made her way to Brianna’s side.

Harper nodded, not quite ready to speak, afraid her emotions would not be kept in check if she opened her mouth. She huffed in a deep breath and motioned Brianna forward. The cold scent of frost dried vegetation made its way into her core.

A soft thump came from the side of the house. They looked over to see what made the noise. Ziggie stood half in half out of his doggie door as he observed the newcomers to his home. The dejection clear in his hopeful examining eyes that didn’t spot the person he sought. With a sigh and a low moan he pushed the rest of the way through the doggie door and turned around. His thick curled tail hung low as he pushed back inside the house.

The earlier threatened tears spilled from Harper’s welling eyes as she watched the big dog display such human emotions. Her heart ached at the thought of what the poor dog must have gone through for the past month as he waited hopefully for Cara to return. She imagined him lying in wait for his dead owner to return, each door slam sparking an ember of hope that was squelched by reality when she never appeared.

Brianna caught her eye when Harper looked away from the flapping doggie door. “It’s terrible I know. Noah said Ziggie does this every time he comes to feed. At least twice a day that poor dog is reminded he’s all alone, but he refuses to leave the house. Noah said he took him to his house once, but Ziggie escaped and came home. You’ll have your work cut out with him.” Brianna dug through her purse and handed Harper a pack of travel tissue. “Here, you need this.”

Harper reached out and took the pack. “Thanks.” She pulled a tissue out wiped her eyes then blew her drippy nose with a loud honk. With a snuffle she crumbled the tissue and gripped it in her hand. “He may be more depressed than me. I hope I can help him. I haven’t had a dog since I was a kid though. My ex never liked dogs, so I gave in and didn’t have any pets. It was easier that way anyway since we moved around so often when he got a new assignment.”

Brianna shook her head and squinted her eyes. “Harper, can I be honest with you?”

Harper gave her a puzzled look unsure of where the conversation was heading. “Um, sure.”

“Your ex is a real tool and you’re lucky to be shut of him.”

Harper released a bubble of pent up laughter. “You know, I think you may be right. How about we go inside so I can meet that poor dog and see the house?”

Brianna slid the key in and turned the handle. The old door with peeling red paint squeaked a low tone as it opened.

Harper’s breathing increased and her heart beat faster as she moved through the doorway. The scent of Cara’s favorite candles permeated the house. Cara loved Yankee candles, especially apple scented ones and the aroma of fresh apples hung in the air as though it leaked from her home’s pores. Harper couldn’t help looking around, expecting to see Cara come running into the room with her usual zest and flair for greetings. Brianna watched Harper’s reaction.

“Hon, are you alright? You’re looking a little peaked.”

Harper’s hand covered her heart in an attempt to slow its thunderous pounding. “I didn’t expect the smell to overwhelm me so much. Cara loved apple scents and I’ve always identified apples with her, and now she’ll never enjoy them again. My heart aches at the thought of her missing out on these simple things.” Harper’s hand waved around. “It’s so unfair that she lost her life because of someone else’s stupidity.”

Brianna raced to her side and enveloped Harper in a mama bear’s protective hug. Harper returned the hug, grateful to have an instant friend in Brianna. She would need someone to lean on in the coming months as she tried to make a life surrounded by the ghost of Cara. She squeezed her eyes shut and let the briny emotion drip from her lashes and soak Brianna’s pink silk blouse.

Harper’s eyes popped open when she heard a light huffing coming from the side of the living room. She glanced around until she found the source of the noise. Ziggie lay on a blue fleece dog bed next to a large stone hearth. His jaws worked up and down as he continued the unusual noise. She heard his teeth clacking softly as the huffing continued. His amber eyes sought a place to land when Harper glanced at him. The depth of their shared pain was reflected in the deep amber of his eyes.

Harper pulled back from Brianna and made her way across the room. She kneeled in front of Ziggie. He acknowledged her presence by slowing the clacking of his teeth while continuing the light huffing. She reached a tentative hand toward the massive black head resting on white paws, his ears flattened to the side in an absolute despondent pose. Her hand sank into the deep pile of silky fur on his head. His body grew rigid at her touch. He offered no resistance to her touch, but he didn’t seem to enjoy it as most dogs would.

Harper stood with a sigh. “I think this poor dog is hurting more than me. If he could cry he would be bawling right now.”

Brianna nodded her agreement. “I don’t know how much you know about Akitas, but they are a breed that feels deeply and forms an iron bond to their chosen human. They are very selective with their devotion. He may let you in, but it’s going to take some time to help him get through what he’s going through.”

Harper looked at Brianna with concern. “You don’t think he’s dangerous do you?”

Brianna shook her head. “I don’t think he’s dangerous at all, don’t push too hard and he’ll come to you with time and patience.”

“I’ll give him all the space he needs.” Harper turned from the sad sight of the heartbroken dog. “You feel like showing me around? Seeing Cara’s stuff is going to be difficult for me, I could really use a friend right now.”

“Absolutely, let’s get started.”

Brianna led the way showing Harper each room and spouting off statistics of each space. Harper followed behind walking with tentative steps unable to quell the nausea bubbling in her stomach as she looked at Cara’s belongings. Some things were familiar as Cara had carried them with her on her numerous moves around the country. Harper refused to enter the master bedroom not ready to confront the demon that was staring out from the place Cara last laid her head.

Neither Harper nor Brianna heard Ziggie plodding along behind them as they made their way through the sprawling house. He walked with feet so quiet they could have been encased in cotton booties. He kept a close eye on the women. When he was satisfied they weren’t disturbing anything he made his way back to his pillow and flopped down in disgust.

He raised his head with expectation as he heard a familiar vehicle making its way down the driveway. He hopped to his feet with a semblance of his old bouncy nature. With a soft woof he pushed his way through the doggie door and waited for the visitors that came twice each day to feed and pet him. The man he tolerated, but the wiggly boy he loved almost as much as his missing Cara. Tires crunched on loose gravel as the car stopped in front of the house next to the other vehicles.

Ziggie’s tail wiggled back and forth as Grayson tumbled from the car and raced to the fence in a cloud of innocent boyish joy. Ziggie stuck his nose in the wire mesh of the chain link fence. His nose twitched as he waited for Grayson to reach his arm through the fence and rub his head. A low whine issued from his throat as the small hand made contact and sank into the thick fur on his neck. Grayson patted with unfettered enthusiasm.

“Hi boy, did you miss me? I missed you. I love you Ziggie. I wish you’d come home with us, you’d like it there.”

“Al righty little mister, you know we’ve tried bringing him home, but he’d rather stay here for now. Besides he has a new owner now.” Grayson tickled the back of Noah’s neck. Grayson screeched with an excited giggle.

“I know Daddy you told me already. Maybe someday he’ll come over for a visit with his new owner.”

Harper’s ears perked at the sweet music of a child’s laughter. She looked at Brianna with questions in her eyes. “Who’s that?”

Brianna’s lips stretched into a goofy grin. “Well, my new friend that must be Noah and his little boy Grayson. Remember, I told you they’d been watching over the place?”

Harper nodded.

“You ready to meet them? Noah’s single by the way, if you know what I mean.” Brianna winked then stalked off, trailing her signature vanilla scent in her wake.

Harper shrugged then followed behind. She heard the little boy’s laughter again as she approached the door. Brianna stood in the yard with her arms wrapped around a tall man with wavy black hair. A little boy popped from behind Brianna and Noah. Harper’s spit dried in her mouth and her breath caught in her throat unable to find an exit suitable for its airy path.

A silent roar raced through Harper’s head at the sight of the little boy. Black curls bounced upon his head and dark blue eyes stared at her when they caught sight of her standing in the door way. She forced calm into her mind and released the air trapped in her lungs. The boy reminded her of all that she had lost with the death of each of her sons. He looked familiar enough that he could have been one of those boys. Her hand reached to stroke the locket around her neck. Her fingers traced their initials over and over, her hand shaking and her fingers damp with nervous perspiration.

His little hand lifted in a silent wave before a giddy greeting raced past his red tinged lips. His cheeks ruddy from the cold and his bare arms covered in goose flesh from the nippy wind swaying the trees. For her it was love at first sight. She wanted to scoop him up and run away with the flesh and blood realization of her dead children.

“Hi, Miss Bri told me your name is Harper. I like your name. I have a game that has creatures called Harpies.” He tittered. “My name is Grayson.”

Brianna and Noah turned to watch the exchange as Harper made her slow way down the porch stairs. Her hand stuck to the railing in a tight grip as each stair tread met her shaking feet and trembling body.

She gulped in an audible string of nervous energy. When she reached the gravel of the yard she kneeled in front of the boy so she was eye level with Grayson. “Uh… hi Grayson, I’m very pleased to meet you.” She stuck her hand out for him to shake, curious what his reaction would be to an adult handshake.

He batted her hand away and jumped into her arms. His arms snaked around her neck and he whisper-talked into her ear. “My dad says a hug is better than a handshake and,” he pulled back so he could look into her face and squeeze her cheeks between his sticky hands “you really looked like you needed one.”

Harper melted at the feelings that stirred within her soul. She breathed in through her nostrils wanting to memorize the scent of this incarnation of all she had lost.

He smelled of candy, baked goods, little boy sweat, dirt, and a hint of woodsy forest. She lost count of the times she had cried in one day as tears leaked from her eyes.

He reached up and swiped the tears away. “I’m sorry Miss Harper, did I do something wrong?”

She drew Grayson to her chest. “No, you sweet thing, you did nothing wrong. I’m very emotional right now and you reminded me of someone I never got to know.”

He nodded his head in understanding. “I know what you mean. I lost my stuffed tiger one day and Daddy bought me a new one who looked the same even though I knew it wasn’t. I cried bunches when Tiggie went missing.”