Trigger (21 page)

“Yes, she’s somewhere around here? I’m addicted to
his drink. I haven’t had so much energy in twenty years. But he
won’t give me the recipe, so I have to keep going to his club. He’s
a nice fellow and a damn good doctor and trainer.” The governor
puts his hand on her shoulder and knows what he’s going to say
next. “I’m so sorry about Simon. He was a great man.”

She nods and only has enough air to redirect him.
“Please tell me about this event, I wasn’t aware of it. Steven just
told me that my children’s program is involved.”

He gives her the skinny and she hears the cameras
and other media moving in. “All the benefactors get a chance to go
to the stage and give a brief description of their charity. It
would be wonderful if you would participate, especially with your
killer hair do.” He laughs and it’s not unpleasant.

“It’s supposed to be a fun day isn’t it? I thought
this was fun. Sure I’ll do it. Anything associated with you, is
worth making the effort and if it helps the shelter program that’s
even better. May I request that I be first? This is my first time
out and I get tired quickly.”

“I’ll arrange it and have Mr. Post – you remember
him – come and get you. Would that be all right?”

“May I speak candidly and in private?”

She waits until she hears the cameras stop and
people start to move away and then whispers. “Steven and I have two
children with us. They are under privileged and Steven is their
mentor. It isn’t in their best interest to be filmed and
photographed. Can you handle that or should we send them home. They
were so looking forward to hearing the band.”

“You really are very special, aren’t you Miss Mason.
We have all missed you. I promise I will make sure they are
safe.”

“You’ll really do that? You promise? If they get
hurt in any way, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“I was going to send Grace over to you, but I won’t
do that either. I’ll have a couple of discreet State Police
officers keep an eye out for wandering photographers and ward off
any intrusions. Would that he helpful?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“I know what my association with you has cost you,
Miss Mason. I’m suffering too.”

She feels him walk away. She wants to sit down and
get away from all the interested eyes she feels, but she can’t. She
can only stand and wait for Steven like she did that day waiting
for Simon. Every second she waits is agony. She feels the tears
roll down her cheeks. She’s glad Steven’s huge sunglasses cover
most of her face, but now they’re falling off her chin. She tries
to stop. People are going to notice and probably some photographer
is getting her photo right now.

And then warm arms are around her. “I’ve got you. It
took me forever to get through the crowd. Let’s sit down.” Steven
lowers her and she’s leaning against his legs. He’s wiping her
tears and telling her he’s sorry he brought her here.

“Where are the children?”

“They’re waiting for me to signal that it’s okay to
come over.” She tells him what she told the governor and what he
promised.

“Look around. Do you see any photographers?”

“A couple State Police about ten and twenty yards
away. They’re not looking at us, but looking at the crowd. I guess
the governor is keeping his promise.”

“Okay.”

She feels Steven wave his hand and Suzanne scuttles
close to her. “Got you a cotton candy, Judy, is that all
right?”

“Sure baby, that’s great. Thanks. What color?”

“Bright lime green, it matches your hair
ribbon.”

It comes out of nowhere and she’s laughing and
Steven’s hugging her and she’s laughing and they’re all laughing at
her. Thankfully the band is introduced and a quick pitch that this
is a charity event, so don’t be shy with your wallets by the
governor and the music starts.”

Michael hands her a Diet Coke. It’s heaven in a cup.
Steven spreads his legs and scoots closer and it feels better that
her back is supported by his chest. Soon they’re all enjoying the
music.

After about three songs, she feels Mr. Post
approach. “Let me go with you Judy.”

“No, please stay with the children. I’ll be all
right.”

Mr. Post gently puts her hand on his elbow and walks
slightly ahead of her. She was worried that it would be difficult
to walk through all the people sitting on the ground, but with his
expertise it’s an easy and flawless trek to the stage.

Grace is waiting and gives her a big hug and how
glad to see that she’s out, but she’s way too thin and if she’s up
to it, maybe they can do the lunch they planned. It was nice to
talk to her. She is very sweet. Mr. Post walks her on the stage,
hands her a microphone. “I won’t be far away.” He whispers and
she’s alone and feels the crowd wait for her to speak.

She hadn’t actually planned any thing, so she speaks
the basic principals behind her program. Safety, acceptance,
listening, understanding, and help without questions or judgments.
Two minutes tops and she signals to Mr. Post. The crowd suddenly
erupts into thunderous applause and cheers. It startles her. Her
little speech wasn’t that arousing? But she waves to acknowledge
them and walks off with Mr. Post.

The crowd continues to cheer her all the way to
Steven. He helps her sit down. “I sent the kids away for hot dogs.
I’ll signal them when the crowd calms down.”

“I don’t understand. What did I say?”

Steven is quiet.

“Steven I have to know.”

“After you finished, someone put up the video of the
red dress/gun incident and the video of your crash in BB. It ran on
a huge screen behind the band and ended with the photo of you
standing next to BB in your driver’s suit and holding your helmet.
It is a magnificent photo. Your smile and bright eyes, I loose my
breath every time I see it. I guess they all admire you as much as
I do.”

Her cell phone is ringing. The governor wants to
make sure she knows that he didn’t have anything to do with it and
if he’d known he would have stopped it.

“Thank you. I believe you.” When we’re ready to
leave, signal one of the officers and he’ll have our car brought
around for us, he says.

“I’m sorry Michael . . . Suzanne. I shouldn’t have
come.”

“Are you kidding Miss Mason, this is great. You’re
famous. I new you were special, but you’re a lot more than that
aren’t you?”

She shrugs. She’s glad Michael and Suzanne aren’t
upset and maybe she’ll get some real help with funding out of all
this. Let it be. She can’t change anything.

Other than a constant flow of people wanting her
autograph and the police moving closer to protect Michael and
Suzanne, they did enjoy the band and the hot dogs Michael bought.
She tried to keep it happy and fun for Michael and Suzanne and
Steven. He wants this to be a happy day.

She’s exhausted like Steven predicted but she’s
determined to hang on until the end. Michael is so taken with the
band, plus the last song is always the best. People are dancing all
around us. Steven says Michael is dancing with Suzanne.

“You wanted to go dancing with me, remember? We’re
going to get stepped on and we have to get up anyway. May I have
this dance?”

She puts her hand in his. He kisses her when the
music stops. If she wasn’t so tired, she would probably have
enjoyed it more.

Steven helps her undress and puts her to bed with
one of his citrus concoctions and then he lies down beside her.
“I’ll stay until you go to sleep and then I’ll see you soon.”

He kisses her cheeks and eye lids and lips. “Maybe
one day, you’ll kiss me back.” She heard him but she was too tired
to respond.

Facing staff meeting the next morning wasn’t
pleasant. Charles, Charlotte and DeShaun all had comments to make.
You can’t go anywhere without making a splash, loved the lime green
ribbon and your sideways pony tail and, my less favorite from
Charles.

“Are you on the governor’s payroll? You are
personally going to get him re-elected and his policies and agenda
are not in tune with what is best for Stalwart. He’s clearly
supporting the Obama Administration and it’s killing us. Our
employee costs have tripled, Judy.”

She hated having to explain herself to her own
staff. It felt demeaning. It was still her company isn’t it? No, it
isn’t. She forfeited Stalwart when she decided to put herself and
BB in a precarious situation. It was an unnecessary risk with her
future and the future of all the people she is responsible for.

“I’m sorry. I was caught. I thought I was going to a
free concert in the park that a very nice young man and his sister
wanted to go too. I didn’t know until I got there, what it
was?”

“So why did you talk to the governor for two and
half minutes, on camera? It looked like you two were best
buddies.”

“What was I supposed to do, ignore him? Turn my back
on him. I was asking him to protect the two children Steven is
mentoring from exposure that wasn’t in their best interest. That’s
what we were talking about.

“I’m sure there was video or something,” she’s angry
and she’s letting it get the best of her. “I’m sure they caught the
State Police around us and you haven’t seen one photo of the
children, Steven said so. I told you, Charles, that photo was going
to destroy me and Stalwart. You didn’t believe me, did you?” She’s
aware she’s yelling and feels their startled faces. She calms
down.

“I’m sorry. None of that is your fault, but if I
hadn’t gone to that stupid charity ball and acted like a tramp none
of this would have happened. Simon wouldn’t be dead, I wouldn’t be
blind and physically dead, and you all wouldn’t be yelling at me,
because a darling ten-year-old girl wanted to help me get dressed!”
She’s yelling again and on her feet.

She never had a chance to hang onto anything. She
always knew that, but she thought it was worth her effort to try.
She’s free falling and there’s no way she can’t stop it.

Judy stands up, calm. “Charles do what you think is
best for Stalwart. Form a corporation and cut me out of it. I won’t
oppose you.”

She shut the door to her bedroom and locked it. She
didn’t answer knocks or phone calls. What she did do was what she
should have done a long time ago.

Chauncey opened the
door. She could tell by his gasp that she was the last person he
ever expected to see.

“May I see him Chauncey?”

“Judy, I don’t think this is a good idea. Mr. Perry
isn’t well and his mind isn’t stable. You’ll probably do more harm
than good.”

“Please Chauncey. Just ask.”

She stands and waits. She has no choice. Chauncey is
back quicker than she expected. “He’ll see you. This is a bad idea,
Judy.”

She nods. She knew Mr. Perry was waiting for her to
come.

“Follow me.” He walks away. I think.

“Judy, are you coming?”

“You have to help me, Chauncey. I’m blind. The
carpet is so thick I can’t hear your footsteps.”

It’s the silence that always gets her. Tell someone
you’re blind and all of a sudden there’s nothing to hear. She’s
guided by Chauncey’s elbow to the same room she was in before. She
remembers very detail.

She stands inside the door after Chauncey closes it.
She figures he’ll be at the desk like last time, so he can clearly
see that she has come in.

She waits a few seconds. “Mr. Perry?”

“You’ve got a lot of gall walking in here after you
killed by son.”

She can’t tell where his voice is coming from. So
she stares straight ahead.

“Yes sir, I know it seems like that, but actually I
scared.”

“Then why in the Hell did you come? Did you want to
shove Simon’s death in my face?”

His voice has moved.

“No. I wanted to tell you to your face that I’m
responsible for Simon’s death and I owe you to stand in front of
you and answer any questions you have and give you the chance to
tell me what retribution you expect of me.”

“You stupid girl, why do you think I’d stoop low
enough to do that. Haven’t you hurt us enough?”

“I had no intention of hurting you at all. I was
living up to our agreement. When I was in the car crash, Simon came
to me. He said he knew I had no one to look out for me. I was
unconscious.”

She clears her throat that’s freezing up on her.

“But Simon is such a wonderful, caring person all he
thought to do was help someone who needed help.”

“Was! Miss Mason. He was killed by your family!”
He’s moving again.

“Yes, sir he was. If I had known anything, I would
have stopped him. I would have done anything I had to do to prevent
it. I would have killed them to prevent it. But I wasn’t given the
opportunity to do that.”

“You expect me to feel sorry for you!”

He’s moved again.

“No sir, I don’t. I felt I should face you.”

“Well you’re not doing a very good job of that. You
won’t even look me in the eye.”

“You keep moving sir, I can’t find you?”

“What in the Hell are you talking about you stupid
girl.”

“I’m blind sir. I can’t locate you by the sound of
your voice, because you’re moving around.”

There’s that silence. It’s very unsettling. I’m
totally vulnerable but she doesn’t care what he does to her.

Mr. Perry’s voice is very low and sad. “Simon. . .
”

I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say
anything.

“He stormed in here after you left, demanding to
know what you and I talked about. He saw your note and tore it up.
He said he loved you but you wouldn’t have anything to do with him.
He said he was going to do everything he could do to make you love
him and he ordered me – his own father – not to interfere.”

Silence. Frustration, futility, and an ache in her
heart her mouth speaks what her head can’t justify.