Trigger (23 page)

Sully is pacing through
Judy’s apartment. Steven is standing at Judy’s open bedroom door in
case she wakes up.

“So you think she really believes that she was
talking to Simon, even though it was you? Steven, that’s an
unbalanced therapy that I wouldn’t bet on and can’t sanction.”

“I didn’t know what to do. She was living inside her
nightmare. It was happening at that moment. It was real for her. If
I didn’t play along, I don’t know what would have happened, but
whatever, I knew I would loose her forever.”

“It’s not good to wake someone from a nightmare. But
to join her inside it Steven, there is no precedent for this. I
can’t say for certain how she’s going to be. You should put her in
psychiatric hospital and let us work with her.”

“She needs help Sully, but it’s my opinion that she
must decide to ask for it. Forced on her . . . you don’t know her
like I do, I don’t think she would tolerate it. She’s a fighter and
she’ll fight. I’d rather her battles were those she has a chance to
win. I’m going to bet on her.”

“Steven, I can get a court order to make her undergo
treatment. There’s enough evidence that she’s a danger to
herself.”

“She hasn’t hurt herself.”

“Not yet, thanks to you. But you and I both know
what her intentions were. And even still, when she believes her
work is done, can you honestly say, she won’t try it.”

“She won’t if I can give her a reason, not to. If I
can build up her life, so she has something to loose, I’ll bet her
life and mine that she’ll fight for it.”

“I have a lot of respect for you Steven, so I’m
going to trust your judgment for now. But I will check on her
progress and if I see any sign that she’s a danger to herself or
anyone else, I’ll go the legal route. I have no choice, you know
that. We are bound by oath and you and I both take that
seriously.”

The scratches and
bruises on his arms, chest and legs and especially the bruise on
his chin are uncomfortable.

“Here, this will help.” Becky puts antibiotic cream
on his arm and hands him an ice bag. She pats Steven’s shoulder.
“You were lucky.”

She’s right. If Clarence hadn’t shown up when he
did, it might not have worked out so well.

When Steven grabbed her and forced the gun out of
her hand, Judy began to fight. All his training and the
Kempo-Karate, swimming and running she was more than he could
handle without violence. He’s never faced a better trained or more
determined opponent.

In desperation, he was ready to throw his best punch
to knock her out. He’d promised never to hurt her, but he had to
save her. She was faster and it was his chin that took the hit.
Steven chuckles. She always said she wanted to punch him in the
face and she was right, she knocked him on his ass and it still
hurts.

She was going for the kill just as Clarence threw
his arms around her. She turned on him and threw him in less than
three seconds, but he held on and took her to the ground with him
where Steven sedated her.

Another stroke of luck, they were in Judy’s home
neighborhood. People there were trained to get out of the way and
look the other way. He expected to hear police sirens. Clarence
carried Judy to the car and put her into his arms and got into the
front seat as Jeremy drove away. It was still quiet in the
neighborhood.

“You’re not going to do it are you?” Clarence speaks
but Michael’s face is asking the same question. “You’re not going
to turn her over to those psycho-babble people are you?”

Steven doesn’t know what condition she will be in
when she wakes up. He shakes his head and shrugs.

“If she’s violent or in a psychotic condition, I
might have to.”

Michael’s face flares red.

“She’ll have to be in a place where she can be
medicated and safe. Look around. The lamp, knives in the kitchen,
the flower vase they are deadly weapons in the hands of someone who
is trained and knows how to use them. Judy knows how to use
them.”

“She’s never been violent before, Steven,”
Clarence’s words are those of a gentleman and man of reason.

“Simon and I researched Judy’s background and the
trials of her Dad and brother gave us more insight. The brutality
she was subjected to is unbelievable at best. That sort of
treatment doesn’t go away. Judy’s method of dealing was to become
physically strong and skilled so that she would never suffer again.
Her logic was simple. Be stronger, faster, and more skilled than
anyone who could threaten her. There was no other way to
survive.”

“Well it worked. I’m sore all over.” Clarence
readjusts the ice packs on his shoulder and shins. “If I wasn’t
black, I’m sure I’d look like it.”

“How did you do that Clarence? I never thought you
were that agile.”

“I wasn’t going to fall on her. When I grabbed her
she twisted and had a hold on me that was taking me down. I mean, I
couldn’t stop her from throwing me like a sack of flour. My weight
was my only weapon against her but I couldn’t fall on her. I would
have pushed her through the concrete. I didn’t want that on my
conscience.

“Once I had her down and on top of me, I had to lock
my arms and ankles around her to hold her and she still wouldn’t
stop. She was ready to head butt me and bite me, when you finally
got up off your butt.”

“Steven.” Judy hears voices somewhere far away.
Steven? Clarence? She hurts all over. Her tongue is thick. Her head
hurts. If feels like her forearms and hands are broken. They won’t
move.

Soft lips touch hers. A gentle hand cups her
face.

“You’re home Judy. You’re in your bed and Becky is
fixing you some creamy potato soup.”

“Steven?”

“You can’t tell?” Steven laughs but she can imagine
the crease between his eyes. It’s in his voice.

“Is Simon here?”

“No Judy. Simon isn’t here?”

“But I . . . fixed it.”

“No, you didn’t. Simon is dead Judy. You are
brilliant, talented and beautiful, but even you can’t fix
death.”

“But I talked to him. I told him he was wrong to
take my place and he was to get out of there and come back home.”
She feels her pant that paces with her confusion.

“Simon is dead. He can’t come back.”

She hears Steven’s soft words and feels him stroking
her hair but her brain is so confused but she was clear on one
thing. “You are lying to me! Again! I don’t believe you!”

“Judy, tell me what you did when you left your
apartment. Tell me each step you took until now. When did you leave
here?” Steven lifts her, sits down behind her and pulls her close
to him with his arms wrapped tightly around her. He hands her a
citrus drink.

“Please drink this. You’ll feel better and then you
and I can talk about what happened with Simon. “What were you doing
when you decided to leave?”

She can’t seem to find her voice. She tries to talk
but she can’t quite figure out how. She takes a sweet, cooling
mouthful of Steven’s citrus drink.

“Who is the last person you talked to here in your
apartment, just before you left.”

“Charles.”

Steven kisses her temple. “Good. That’s good. Go
on.”

She takes another big drink.

“He was mad at me because I was being friendly with
the governor.”

“Go on my love, tell me everything.”

With each word she speaks, the next becomes easier.
She cries into Steven’s chest when she talks about Mr. Perry. She
cries for a long time with heavy sobs that shake her, especially
when she tells Steven how much Simon’s father is like her Dad and
the words he used were the same.

She tells him that she needed her blanket and went
to find it so she could go to sleep and forget. She tells him how
much she misses BB and it was so sad to visit his home, knowing
that he wasn’t there. She tells him about drinking tea with Mr.
Chung and that they hugged when she said goodbye. She tells him
about turning left and walking down the sidewalk toward the
alley.

“I knew right then what I should do. Simon took my
place in the alley. I would make him leave and lay down where I was
supposed to be and then Simon could go home.”

“He said he liked it here. He said he was mad at me
because I was so unhappy and I told him to get out of my place and
go home. He said he wasn’t going to let me take him out of the
alley. He grabbed me and wouldn’t let me get in my place next to
Mom.

”Simon was fighting me and I couldn’t get there. I
fought him hard because it was my place to be and not his and he is
so beautiful and wonderful and the world wouldn’t be right until he
was back in it.

“He was so stubborn and stupid! If you were there
like you said, did you hear him, Steven? Did you see that he was
stubborn and stupid and fought me so he could stay?”

“Yes.”

“Did you see that he had Clarence stop me from
pulling him out of the alley?”

“Yes.”

“Were you there, when I went to sleep?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re here now?”

“Yes. Clarence is here, too. He waited to make sure
you were okay.”

“Clarence!” She yells to make sure Steven is telling
her the truth.

“Judy, I’m here. I was just outside your bedroom
listening to you tell Steven what happened.” He sounds so calm and
gentle, but he was mean.

“You were mean to me. Did Simon hire you to stop
me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Simon loves you Judy. He wants you to live and be
happy. He hired me to help Steven make your nightmare stop. He said
I was big and strong enough to do that.”

“How much did he pay you?”

“He said I could have the friendship you shared with
him. He said I could always be your friend and you would always be
mine.”

At the speed of an erupting volcano loss, empty,
cold, burning and then she knows. “Simon is dead! Oh my God, Simon
is dead! He’ll never come back! He’ll never, ever come back!”

Pain explodes and the big black bubble inside her
that held Simon’s love and smile and sweetness and goodness bursts
wide open and racks her body with pain . . . hot . . . cold . . .
searing pain.

She hears her wails of agony, not just for Simon but
for her and for Steven and for her Mom.

Steven grabs her tighter than ever and Clarence
wraps his arms around them both. They hold her until her screams
and sobs are exhausted and she drifts from here to there holding
out her hand for Simon to take it.

“Give me your hand Judy.
I love you and you love me and we will love each other as long as
we live. We’re going to laugh and dance and love and be a family
who loves each other and is good to each other and welcomes each
morning so we can love each other some more. Give me your hand,
Judy. Give me your hand to hold forever.”

She places her hand in his. He kisses it gently and
squeezes it tight.

“I now pronounce you, Steven, husband to Judy. I now
pronounce you, Judy, wife to Steven. God has blessed this union
between Judy and Steven and let no man put asunder. Steven you may
kiss your bride.”

Judy throws her arms around Steven’s neck reaching
for his lips. She’s sure he’s surprised by her attack but Steven is
getting used to her challenges. She’s desperate for him and wants
to make that clear. She wants him, she’s happy to be his lover,
wife, partner, and build a family and life together.

“So this is what I can expect from now on?” Steven
speaks against her lips.

“Yes.”

The wedding reception
has been going on for hours and it looks like it’s going to last
well into the night. Becky was her maid of honor; Suzanne and
Steven’s daughter Amy were her bridesmaids. Michael stood for
Steven as best man and he’s brought a gorgeous red head as his
date. Judy watches Suzanne watch them. She has a beautiful secret
smile on her face and then she comes and sits between her and
Steven.

“Michael looks happy doesn’t he? I’m so happy for
him I could just die from it. Lilly is perfect for him and I love
her so much already. She’s going to be an architect and since,
Michael’s going to be an engineer I think that’s perfect. Don’t
you?”

“Yes.” Judy takes her hand and holds it in her
lap.

“Steven, what do you think?”

“She’s perfect. Beautiful, charming, smart and she
loves him doesn’t she?”

“Yes. Michael hasn’t said the words to me, but I
know he loves her too. They can’t stay apart or keep their hands
off each other!” Suzanne giggles.

Suzanne smiles and squeezes my hand. “I miss him you
know. But it’s good for him and I’m so busy anyway, but still I
miss how it was sometimes, just Michael and me.”

“You’ve got us now, doesn’t that help?” Steven wraps
his arm around the petite girl with flowing golden hair and a
sketch pad on her lap.

Suzanne takes a deep breath. “Momma wants me to live
with her when she finishes school. I know she doesn’t want to be
alone, but I don’t want to. Are you going to make me, Steven?”

“No.”

“Really?”

“Really. Suzanne, Judy and I want what you want. You
are our priority. It’s nice that you’ve helped your mother. You
helped her to read and write and she’s is getting good grades. She
told me yesterday, that she’ll have her GED in another month and
Judy has a job for her ready and waiting. Let her make her own way.
Let her find herself, support herself and get confidence. She’s
only thirty-seven. She needs to find her own place.”

“So when I’m home from school, I’m still with you
and Judy?”

“Yes.”

“But what if Momma makes me?”

“Judy and I are your legal guardians, Suzanne. We
will not let you go until you tell us that’s what you want. We will
always fight for you Suzanne. You are part of our family and family
protects each other and fights for each other. Your mother has no
legal restraints on you, Suzanne. What you give to her, you give of
your own free will.”