Trust Me (Beggar's Choice #2) (32 page)

My movements must disturb him
because he stirs and his lashes flutter for a second before he opens his eyes.
For a second he looks blearily at me, and then as if processing that I’m awake
he jerks up, making me wince as he moves me sharply.

“Shit sweetheart I’m so sorry.”
He reaches over and pushes a button on the side of the bed. Coming back to me
he hovers over me, stroking my hair back in frantic, unpractised moves. “Baby,”
he says softly. “God Nelly I …” He chokes to a stop and closes his eyes for a
second. When he opens them again he looks almost nervous. “How are you feeling
sweetheart?”

“Like shit,” I reply and he
almost smiles but it’s more of a pained grimace.

“God, love I was so scared.”

“What happened?”

“You were in a car crash. Do you
remember?”

“I remember the noise,” I say
with difficulty. “I’m so thirsty.”

He jerks. “Shit, sorry Nell. I’ve
rung the bell for the nurse, but I daren’t give you anything until they say you
can have it.”

A sudden, urgent thought occurs
to me. “What about Kyle?”

He looks at me, his eyes
darkening and a frown playing on his face. “Kyle?” he asks in a very level voice.
“Who’s that?”

“The driver.”

He relaxes instantly and I know
that he was thinking that I’d found someone else, which really makes me want to
roll my eyes. “He’s fine honey.
His
air bag deployed,” he adds darkly.

“I knew something was wrong with
mine,” I say slowly.

“Well those fuckers are going to
know about it. I’m going to sue the manufacturers for every fucking penny that
they’ve got.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I whisper.

“It fucking does Nell.” He stops,
his face contorting in pain. “You were nearly killed. Fuck, I can’t even think
about that. I might never have seen you again. Never touched you again.”

“You weren’t going to anyway.” My
voice is pained. “You told me to fuck off.”

He groans and hangs his head. “I
never wanted you to leave me,
ever
,” he says fervently, hanging over my
bed, his eyes glowing. “Every minute that I spent away from you was agony, but
I thought that it was the best thing for you, and you’ve got to know this Nell,
if we end up together I’m always going to work like that. You have to be safe
and happy,
fuck
you have to be ecstatically happy, because anything
fucking less is unacceptable to me.”

“Sid we can’t …,” I start to say,
intending to remind him that he can’t actually control the world and that just
being with him makes me happier than I have ever been. However, I’m interrupted
by the nurse entering the room followed by the doctor from earlier, and he
flinches away from me with a look of dread on his face.

“Well hello then Nell,” she says
cheerfully. “I’m glad to see those pretty eyes of yours open. This man here has
been waiting for forever to see them.” She bustles about the bed, lowering the
sheet ready for the doctor.

“Let me have a look at you Nell,”
he says calmly, ignoring Sid who is pacing with a distant, anguished look on
his face that puzzles me. I don’t know what’s upsetting him now but my
attention is drawn back to the doctor as he manipulates my body, getting me to
move limbs while he looks into my eyes, asking low voiced questions and adding
asides to the nurse who scratches things on the notes that she has pulled from
the bottom of my bed.

Finally he stops. “Are you
thirsty?” he asks and when I nod eagerly the nurse smiles and holds a cup with
a straw to my mouth. The water is ice cold and the best thing that I’ve ever
tasted, but she removes it before long.

“You’ll be sick if you take too
much too soon,” she warns.

The doctor settles on the end of
the bed swinging his leg casually, and Sid looks at him anxiously. “Well?”

“I think everything is going to
be fine. We still have to do a plethora of tests, but her vitals are strong and
her physical reactions and reflexes are exactly what I’d expect to find. You
had a bad accident Nell,” he says, turning fully to me. “The air bag didn’t go
off on your side of the car and you suffered a bad bang to the head, but the
majority of the problems came from the seatbelt and the impact when the
dashboard was pushed forward into you. You had multiple contusions and several
ribs were broken, as is your left arm.” I realize with a start that my left arm
which had felt heavy, is actually in a cast. I hadn’t noticed before because
that inconvenience had faded into the background of the worse pain. “The
biggest problem however was that we had to operate and remove your spleen
because of the blow to your stomach.”

“I’m sure I’d be really bothered
by that if I could actually remember what the spleen does. Will I miss it?” I
ask dryly.

Sid snorts and the doctor smiles.
“It isn’t the worst thing that I could have removed. It’s a small fist sized
organ and people who have had it removed usually go on to lead completely
normal lives. However, it is an important part of the body’s immune system that
contains special white blood cells which help the body fight infections. You
will therefore be more prone to developing infections, and should definitely
get a flu shot in a couple of weeks. We’ll also want to give you some
immunizations as well. Now, I think the best thing for you Nell is to get some
more sleep. We’ll keep on with your pain medication, but we’ll gradually
decrease it so you’ll have to let us know if the pain becomes unmanageable. I
don’t think it will but just so we’re sure. You’ll go off for some tests
tomorrow, but as I say I don’t see too much cause for concern at the moment.
The day after that we’ll get you up for a bit and get you moving again.”

“When can she go home?” Sid asks
hoarsely.

“We’ll play it by ear, but I
think a minimum of a week will do the trick. We need to keep an eye out for any
problems that could arise from the surgery.”

“What problems could happen?” Sid
sounds full of dread.

The doctor hesitates and then
obviously opts for honesty. “Blood clots, infection at the incision site,
inflammation of the pancreas or her lungs collapsing.”

Sid winces. “You’re staying as
long as it takes,” he says sternly, and I shrug. He won’t get any arguments
about that from me after that little litany.

The doctor smiles. “Mr Hudson
that’s a worst case scenario of course. In all likelihood she’ll be fine.
However, when she leaves she should have someone with her to help as recovery
can take up to six weeks.”

“She will,” he says in a final
voice and I look at him but he’s steadfastly ignoring my eyes. Hmmm.

“Well let’s play it by ear. Now
Mr Hudson will you be leaving the Hotel du Cedars-Sinai now that our patient is
awake?”

Sid shakes his head. “No, I’ll
sleep in the chair.”

“Sid you can’t,” I protest. “That
chair looks as uncomfortable as hell. Go and get some sleep in a proper bed.”

He shakes his head stubbornly.
“I’m staying and that’s that Nell. Don’t argue.”

The doctor laughs. “I wouldn’t
argue with him Nell. He’s been a very faithful suitor this week.”

At the word faithful I flinch
slightly and Sid gives me one frantic, haunted glance but then goes back to
ignoring me. Luckily the doctor misses it, and patting me on the shoulder he
bids me goodnight and leaves me to the nurse who settles me into bed properly
before giving Sid a fond glance and leaving us. The room settles into a heavy
silence.

“Sid …,” I start, wanting
desperately to talk about this but he sits down abruptly, suddenly looking like
he’s aged twenty years.

“Not now Nell,” he says wearily.
“We’ll talk at another time. You need to sleep now.”

I want to argue but he’s right
and I feel sleep stealing over me until I slip under still feeling his hand on
mine.

The next week passes quickly,
full of tests and poking and prodding. I’m gently encouraged to get out of bed
and walk around as soon as possible, and I’m startled to find how much it
bloody hurts. My whole body feels like it’s been run over by a truck, and if I
move too quickly my stomach hurts with a blinding, red hot pain, but very
slowly I start to get my strength back.

I still sleep a lot, dropping
into a doze with alarming suddenness. One such time had been when Bram was
visiting which had led to a lot of piss taking about him putting the coma back
into the patient, which he’d taken with habitual good humour. However, even he
is quieter than before, and he’s taken to dropping in nearly every day to sit
by my bed and chat gently, or prop me up as I walk up and down the corridors.

This morning he’s holding my arm
as we walk at a snail’s pace down the corridor outside my room, where there are
noticeably more nurses at the nurse’s station now that the members of Beggar’s
Choice have started visiting. He smiles flirtily at the waiting women as we
trudge past, who as if on cue, sigh lustily, but he’s half-hearted and
instantly returns his attention to me.

I fall into the chair by the side
of the bed with a sigh of relief. “You don’t need to keep doing this you know.”

“Don’t you want to see me? Think
what it would be like without me visiting you,” he asks in a horrified voice.

“I’ll try to get through the arid
wasteland that is life without you,” I say, smiling bravely at him and he
smirks.

“You’re such a martyr.” He helps
me settle more comfortably with some cushions, and then fetches my water bottle
while I prop up my pyjama clad legs on the bed.

“Not that it isn’t lovely to see
you and everyone but you don’t need to visit every day,” I say quietly. “You’ve
all got busy lives and families, so please can you tell everyone that they
don’t need to keep doing this.”

He throws himself down on the bed
in a very cavalier fashion. “Nell, you are part of our family.”

“Not anymore.”

He snorts. “What fucking
bollocks.”

“What?”

“You heard me, and if a certain
guitarist’s constant mithering isn’t giving you a clue as to your status, I’ll
let you in on the secret. You’re as much a part of the family as he is.”

I blink and try to sort his words
out. I’ve found that when I’m tired now words don’t come so easily, and I have
to concentrate very hard to put a sentence together or understand someone, but
the doctors have assured me that they think it’s a temporary measure. “We’re
not together Bram, you know that. We’re both single now.”

He stares at me for a second, his
face softening. “Sid hasn’t been single since the day you walked into that
audition love. I knew it as soon as he clapped eyes on you that he was gone. He
couldn’t take his eyes off you, and nothing about that has changed. This is
just a temporary situation.”

“It feels quite permanent to me.”
I stare out of the window to avoid his penetrating stare. “He won’t talk about
anything no matter how hard I try, and I can’t forget the last time I saw him.
He was so cruel then Bram, and now he’s like a robot. I thought it would be so
different when I first woke up, but it’s like we’re back at the start again.
Even when I thanked him for the violin it was like he’d just given me his
handkerchief!”

He covers my hand with his,
drawing me closer so that our faces are nearly touching. “He’s my best friend
and I know him better than most. He’s just scared Nell. He thinks that if he
doesn’t bring up what happened you won’t be able to finish things permanently,
so he’s able to live in hope which has always been in short supply for Sid.” I
wince and he strokes my face. “That right there is why you’re meant for him.
You care about him just as much as he does you.” I smile sadly and he carries
on talking in his low, rough voice. “I know you’ve been in an awful accident
but you were unconscious for so long and you didn’t see him Nell. I’ve never
seen him so scared. He never left you once, just sat there holding onto your
fucking hand, talking about kites.” I smile and he laughs before it dies. “He’s
biding his time at the moment, but please promise me that when it comes time to
talk to him, you’ll listen. What happened that night wasn’t what you think
Nell, and you both need to talk properly without being interrupted. Promise me
that you’ll listen.”

I sigh. “I promise.”

He leans down running his nose
along mine affectionately. “That’s my girl.”

“Am I interrupting something?”
comes an icy voice from the doorway, and I grunt as I turn too quickly catching
my sore side, to see Sid standing there with a harsh look on his face. He
instantly exclaims and darts forward, dumping the massive bunch of lilies that
he’s carrying on the bed, both of us missing the look of surprised calculation
that crosses Bram’s face.

“Fuck Nell, be careful,” Sid
exclaims, holding my arm as I try to get up. “Do you want to get into bed?” I
nod feeling suddenly shy as he holds me close to his side so that I feel the
heat of his body and smell the familiar scent of him. He stares at me for a
second his eyes darkening, and his head lowers as if he’s going to kiss me, but
then Bram stretches and yawns before rolling off the bed in one smooth motion
that I really envy at the moment.

He smirks at Sid almost
challengingly. “I’m sure she’d like to get into bed especially while I’m here.”
He watches intently as Sid jerks as if he’d been lost in a daydream, and then
lowers me into the bed carefully, pulling the covers up over me before settling
into the chair that I just vacated. I relax back against the pillows and sigh
softly as I see the sudden familiar distance in his face again.

“Where have you been today?” I
ask in a low voice, endeavouring to ignore Bram who is now lounging on the
spare chair with his head propped on one fist looking as if he’s at the cinema.

Sid shoots him an irritated look.
“I’ve been at the studio laying down some tracks with Seth, which is where you
should have been Bram.” Bram merely smirks and shrugs his shoulder in a
cavalier fashion which I’m convinced is done to deliberately rile Sid. I have
to say that it looks like he might be successful because Sid’s thin cheeks
flush, but then he shoots me a quick glance out of the corner of his eye and
blows out a measured breath. “Why do you ask? Did you need me for anything?”
His mask is momentarily broken by a look of concern and almost eagerness, as if
he wants me to have needed him.