Trust Me (Beggar's Choice #2) (33 page)

I open my mouth to reply but I’m
beaten to the punch by Bram. “She was fine mate,” he says dismissively. “I
helped out so she didn’t miss you.” Sid’s fists clench on the arm of the chair
and I look worriedly at Bram. He looks like he’s not paying attention at all
but I notice the bright look in his eyes. He’s up to something. He turns to me
and I blink slightly because close proximity to him sometimes makes me miss how
good looking he is. “Cameron rang me today,” he adds chattily. “He’s rung me
every day asking for news of you. I told him at first that he couldn’t visit
seeing as you could only have one or two visitors at a time, but I said to him
today that as Sid’s not coming regularly he could come and see you tomorrow.” I
roll my eyes pleadingly at him, but he just stares at Sid waiting for the
reaction which isn’t long in coming.

“You did what?” he roars, coming
to his feet and bending over me planting his fists in the bed by the side of my
hip.

“I told Cameron to visit
tomorrow.” Bram articulates very slowly and carefully as if Sid’s deaf. I must
say I’m in awe of him at the moment because of the very little shit that he
seems to give. Sid in a temper is not something to be taken lightly, but he’s
managing it.

 “Why? Why would you do
that?” Sid runs his hands through his hair and starts to pace.

I exchange a look with Bram who
smirks and shakes his head at me. “Well he cares about Nell very much, that’s
obvious if you listen to him talk about her. Why wouldn’t he want to see her?
I’m telling you Sid he was so frantic while she was out of it I think that he
might actually have fallen for her.” Sid rounds on him, a look of absolute fury
in his face as he advances towards Bram who holds up his hands in defence. “I
really think that you should think of other people’s feelings more Sid,” he
adds sanctimoniously. “I mean it’s not as if you and Nell are going anywhere
are you? If not it’s time to step away.” He suddenly sobers and bends forward.
“After all mate, if it isn’t Cameron it will be someone else. Shilly shallying
around could lose you the prize.”

“I’m not a goldfish at the fair,”
I say indignantly just as Sid mutters, “I’m going to fucking kill you, you
interfering twat.” He comes around the bed towards Bram, murder written large
on his face but just at that interesting point we’re interrupted by Doctor
Pacely and a nurse coming in.

He takes one look at the
situation and smiles, clapping his hands together. “Two gentleman today Nell,
aren’t you a lucky girl?”

“Depends on your definition of
luck,” I say morosely, wondering if he intended to make it sound like we were
just about to embark on a threesome.

He ignores me. “Well gentleman
I’ll have to ask you to leave now. I’d like to do my final examination so we
can determine whether Nell is ready to go home.” Bram moves towards the door
giving me a jaunty wave which I ignore. God knows what he’s stirred up now.

Sid however pulls the chair out
of their way and sits down somewhat defiantly. “I’m staying,” he mutters
folding his arms together. Dr Pacely looks at me and I shrug so he
diplomatically opts for ignoring the 6’ 4” of sulkiness. He gestures bossily to
the nurse to lift up my shirt as if when he took his medical qualifications he
forgot how to undress women. I obediently raise my arms above my head while he
palpitates my stomach asking questions about pain and breathlessness. He manipulates
my ribs and pronounces himself satisfied.

“They’re healing nicely. We’ll
leave them unstrapped. Now, how does the arm feel?”

“Itchy.”

“Well that’s going to get worse
I’m afraid. It’s very hot outside which always makes it worse. I’d invest in a
knitting needle so you can scratch, but be gentle and don’t get the cast wet.
If you do have to shower I’d get someone to help wash your hair and make sure
that you cover it with a plastic bag.” He runs his finger along the red, raised
scar on my stomach. “This is healing nicely Nell. There’s no sign of infection
at all. Yes, I’m pleased with that.”

Sid stirs. “So, can she leave the
hospital yet?” he asks in a low voice.

Dr Pacely considers me. “Yes Mr
Hudson I think that’s fine. Her doctor will need to see her every couple of
weeks to check on the progress of the wound, and if she shows any sign of fever
or illness you must take her straight to a hospital. You’ll need to bring her
back here or to a hospital that’s closer to you, in about four weeks for the
cast to be removed. Other than that she’s okay to go. No strenuous exercise
Nell, just gentle swimming in a week and slow walks every day.”

“Should I employ a nurse?” Sid
asks.

“I don’t think so. Nell is a very
healthy, fit woman. She’s healing nicely and should be back to normal in a
month or so. Any concerns ring me any time of the day or night. You have my
number I know.” The latter is said with a gentle sarcasm and Sid flushes. I
wonder how many times he’s rung him. The two men shake hands and Doctor Pacely
wishes me a speedy recovery after I thank him, and then we’re alone again.

“I do think that you might have
asked me whether I actually
want
to come and stay with you,” I say
indignantly. “I have a perfectly good room at a very nice hotel.”

Sid looks at me fully for the
first time in a week and sighs wearily. “I actually don’t give a fucking shit
whether you want to stay with me or not Nell. It’s a fait accompli. You are
staying with me until you’re better again. I’ve checked you out of the hotel
and settled the bill. Your bags are packed and everything’s been moved to my
place so get used to it.”

 I grumble inarticulately
and he leans over me until his face is a bare centimetre away from mine. I
gulp, looking at his full lips and weary, beautiful eyes and he smiles
challengingly. “Nothing to say?” I shake my head. “Good, and don’t worry. I’ll
make sure Cameron gets the message too.”

He comes to fetch me the next
morning wheeling a wheelchair and accompanied by a nurse, and I blink at the
sight of him. He’s wearing grey shorts with a black Ralph Lauren polo shirt and
Adidas black and white Sambas, and he looks gorgeous and tanned and better than
he’s looked since I’ve seen him again. I’m waiting on the bed, my small bag
that Mabe packed for me for the hospital at my feet. She also brought me a
change of clothing this morning, so I’m wearing a sky blue patterned, strapless
maxi dress which she said would be nice and cool and comfortable for travelling
as well as being loose around my wound.

Sid shoots me one hot glance and
then gathers the bag up in one hand, holding his other out to me peremptorily.
“Are you ready? Have you said your goodbyes?” I nod letting his large hand
swallow mine, feeling the familiar tingle and knowing from his sharp look that
he feels it too. He and the nurse get me settled into the chair and then he
wheels me out carefully.

The nurses are cooing over a huge
flower arrangement at their station, and I see a couple of massive wicker
baskets on the table behind them, one filled with chocolates and sweets, the
other stuffed with what looks like Jo Malone products. I tip my head back.

“You? I ask, and he nods,
flushing slightly.

“To say thank you. They work so
hard and they’ve been so good to us.”

“Thank you.” I smile widely at
him and he falters slightly and then closes his eyes for a second as if in
pain. “Are you alright?” I ask concerned.

“Yeah,” he mutters. “It’s just
that I never thought I’d see that smile again. It hits me sometimes you know?”

I stare at him while the nurse
shoots him approving glances. Finally, after exchanging hugs and kisses with
all the nurses and saying thank you hundreds of times, we work our way outside
to where a silver Audi SUV is waiting, the paintwork glinting in the sunshine.

“Yours?” I ask with an arched
brow. I don’t think that Sid has ever driven me anywhere before.

He nods jerkily. “I bought it
yesterday. It’s rated the most comfortable car for anyone in pain.”

I stare at him in amazement. “Who
the hell compiles these surveys, and where did you find that random piece of
odd information?”

He smiles and for a second it’s
like it always was and then he gestures at the car eagerly. “The seats fully
recline if you want them to, and they’re really comfortable so you can sleep if
you want to. It’s got one of the best safety records in the business.”

He’s babbling now. I don’t think
I’ve ever seen him really babble and it’s very endearing. I stare at him. “Did
you buy the car just for this?” I ask suddenly and he looks defiant.

“Yes I did, and I don’t want
another fucking argument about wasting money Nell. It’s never a waste if you’re
okay. While we’re at it there’s a suitcase of clothes in the back that are all
new. Mabe and I went shopping for you so that you’d have what you need for the
next few weeks, and I don’t want any arguments because it’s done.”

I’m stunned silent, and taking
advantage of this he helps me to stand. The nurse exchanges goodbyes and wheels
the wheelchair away giving me one last envious look, and then we’re alone. His
hands rest around my waist, their heat and strength so familiar to me, and for
a second I allow myself to rest against him absorbing that strength that’s such
an integral part of him. He looks down and frowns. “I need to feed you up.
You’re skin and bones Nell.”

That horrible thought drags me
out of my Sid daze. “Oh my God you’re not cooking for me wherever we’re going
are you?” I’m allowed to say this because he truly could damage toast. He
smiles full out at that and then throws his head back and laughs, while I gape
at him my vagina clenching suddenly. He is so gorgeous when he laughs. Lowering
his head he catches my stare and he must read something in my face because he
tenses immediately, an incredibly hot look crossing his face before the sudden
blare of an ambulance racing into the dock distracts him. When he stares back
at me the familiar shutters are up and I sigh.

Misconstruing this he exclaims,
“Sweetheart you’re tired. Come on, get in the car out of this heat.” I allow
him to help me into the car and fuss with the placement of my seat and the
fastening of my belt. Meanwhile, my heart pounds at the wonderfully natural way
that he said
sweetheart
.

He comes back around the car and
vaults lithely into his seat, fastening his own belt and lowering sexy, white
framed, Ray Ban sunglasses onto his face. “If you reach into the glove box I
bought you some sunglasses. You might want to wear them because we’ve got a bit
of a drive ahead.” I reach in and pull a brand new pair of tortoiseshell Ray
Bans out of their leather case. I’d like to lecture him on money wasting, but
they’re so welcome against the brightness of the noon day sun that I don’t.

“A long drive? Where are we
going? I thought that we’d stay in a hotel or something,” I say, as he
accelerates smoothly off.

“We’re not staying in LA.”
Something in his tone catches my attention.

“Why?”

“No reason.”

“Oh my God,” I say in
consternation. “It’s not because of Cameron is it? Are you doing this because
of him?”

He shoots me a glare. “Nell I’m
trying to drive. The traffic’s fucking awful over here, so let me drive without
having a fucking heavy conversation, eh?”

I give in but I know my instinct
is correct and a part of me is smiling because
this
is what Bram was
doing yesterday, and as if on cue my phone beeps.

Bram: By now you should be on
the way to somewhere where you and Sid can talk properly. Remember you made me
a promise – listen to him, and by the way you’re welcome!!

I smile involuntarily and tap out
a reply:

Me: You’re a meddling old
woman

Immediately he shoots back:

Bram: I think you mean
meddling sexily iconic rock star or 2015 Best Arse in Music as voted for by the
readers of Glamour magazine

I laugh and Sid looks over. “Who
are you texting?” he asks sharply, and although it’s terrible I just give him a
Cheshire Cat smile.

“I thought you didn’t want
unpleasant conversations to distract you,” I say sweetly. For a second his
fingers whiten on the steering wheel, and then he seems to make a conscious
attempt to relax and flicks a switch on the steering wheel. Immediately Massive
Attack’s ‘Unfinished Sympathy’ slinks out of the stereo.

“Why don’t you put your seat back
and try and sleep,” he says gently. “In the bag at your feet there’s a blanket
for if the air conditioning gets too cold for you.” Only he ever remembers how
cold I get, and I remember countless times on the tour when he’d sling his
jacket over me on the bus, or let me put my cold feet on him in bed without
reproach. For a second tears dim my vision and I don’t know whether he senses
it but he reaches out his hand and runs one long finger down my cheek softly.
“Sleep sweetheart,” he says in a low voice. “I promise you that it’s going to
be okay,” and because it’s him I let him convince me. Snuggling down and
pulling the blanket, which I wryly notice is from Ralph Lauren over me, I
recline the seat and listen to Shara Nelson’s haunting voice. I’m asleep before
the end of the song.

The car stopping wakes me and I
struggle to sit up feeling groggy and wincing at the sharp pain in my side.
“Easy, easy,” comes Sid’s alarmed voice. “Take your time. I’ll help you out
baby.” Pushing my tumbled hair out of my eyes I watch him round the car to my
side, and then curiously look around. It’s nearing twilight and we’re parked on
a gravel drive in front of a massive wood built house which is all glass and
angles like a very funky, expensive two storey chalet. Sid opens the door and
lifts me out gently, resting his hand on my back until the dizziness which has
become normal when I get up, goes.

“I’m good,” I finally say, and he
reluctantly lets go. I straighten up and instantly a welcome breeze hits me. It
smells like pine trees and salt and I inhale greedily. In the distance I’m sure
that I can hear the sound of the sea and a wind chime sounds out its lonely
music. I turn back to Sid to find him watching me intently. “Where are we?”

“We’re in La Jolla, a couple of
hour’s drive from LA. This belongs to a friend of mine. He’s let us have it for
a few weeks while he’s away on tour.”

“Some friend.” I look around.
It’s incredibly beautiful here and very peaceful, and somehow it’s exactly what
I need after the organized chaos of the hospital.

As if sensing my thoughts he
strokes my hair back from my face tenderly. “We’ll stay here until you’re
better again. We’ve got a housekeeper who’ll cook for us but she doesn’t live
in, and I’ve organised a nurse to come every day to help you with stuff and
check you out. You can lie out by the pool and swim and get some colour back in
your cheeks. You can also lie in without someone poking you awake to take your
pulse.”

“I thought you did that,” I say
softly, and his cheeks redden and he looks uncomfortable.

“Yes well,” he mutters, running
his hand through his hair. I stare at this beautiful, complicated man who for
some reason wants to look after me, and I’m suddenly swept under by the wave of
absolute love that I feel for him. No one will ever live up to him because
there’s only one of him, and I wish so much that we could just be together for
once without being buried under the weight of bullshit and groupies.

However, thinking of that girl
brings me back to the knowledge that while I’ve been thinking he’s been
examining my face and for a second his face is full of hope, but then when my
mouth turns down he sighs and his shoulders slump. “Baby steps,” he says almost
to himself and then more loudly. “Come on. Mrs James the housekeeper has left
us some food. You can have a quick look around and then it’s dinner and bed for
you.”

“You’re so bossy,” I breathe and
he smirks.

“That’s not a new fact.” He
pushes me towards the big wooden door, pressing a key into my hands with the
instruction to have a wander around while he brings the bags in.

I open the wooden door easily and
then meander through the house listening to Sid carting stuff in. He appears to
have packed for a year and the boxes and bags pile up in the spacious hallway
downstairs. The house is utterly beautiful and I’m definitely in real estate
love. It’s very open plan with exposed beams and rooms running into each other.
Downstairs is a huge, open plan kitchen and dining room separated from the
bright white lounge by a big breakfast bar. There is literally nowhere you
could sit that doesn’t have a view of the ocean that pounds away almost right
on the doorstep. Massive bifolding doors lead onto a stone patio with
wonderfully comfy looking patio chairs and loungers and a pool which gleams
azure in the evening light. Stone steps lead off in the darkness and Sid comes
up behind me suddenly, making me jump.

“Private beach,” he says, nodding
his head towards the steps. “I thought we could take some nice steady walks
down there and the sea air will put roses in your cheeks whatever that means. My
mum used to say it.”

I stare at him and suddenly tears
fill my eyes and run down my cheeks. I’m so touched by the detailed planning
and thought that he’s put into this. No one has ever thought that closely about
me ever. I knew mum loved us when we were little but as long as we were fed and
clothed and not in trouble she wasn’t overly bothered with us. As a single
parent her focus was always on paying the rent and bills. I don’t fault her for
that at all, but the fact that Sid has thought so closely about what would make
me happy touches a well spring of emotion inside me that I can’t hide.

Sid however exclaims in dismay,
obviously thinking that I’m unhappy. He pulls me into a careful hug. “Oh
sweetheart no. Don’t you like it? If you don’t like it then we’ll go. I haven’t
unpacked anything yet so we can just piss off and find somewhere else. I know I
said that I didn’t want to go back to LA, but if that’s what you want then of
course we’ll do it. We can stay at my apartment there.”

I stop his earnest flow of words
by clapping my hand over his mouth. “Sid no, I’m sorry, I don’t want to go
anywhere.”

He sags with relief. “I thought
you didn’t like it.”

“I don’t like it. I
love
it. It’s perfect, thank you so much for doing this for me.”

“You don’t have to thank me for
anything,” he says gruffly. “Why were you crying?”

“Because I was happy. It must be
the after effects of the operation. I get very teary for no reason. The other
day I cried at Countdown.”

He smiles hesitantly. “Well it
can be quite sad,” he offers, clearly trying to make me feel better. “Although
personally speaking Rachel Riley’s breasts always put me in a good mood.” He
dodges my pinch laughing loudly and we smile at each other. Finally almost
hesitantly he runs his hand down my face. “Better now?” I nod. “Okay then, I
take it we’re staying because I’ll take your bags upstairs. You can have the
back bedroom because it’s got the best view.”

“Where will you be?” I ask
blindsided, and he sighs.

“I’ll take the other one love.”

“Why?” My voice is small and he
sighs again.

“I’m not pushing this babe. We
have things to work out. I know that I hurt you and fuck I wish so much that I
hadn’t done it.” I raise my hand in defence against the images of that night,
and he catches my fingers, gently drawing me to him. “I know I hurt you,” he
repeats. “But you need to know what had happened. I never let you in and I
should have, but the whole relationship happened so quickly that I didn’t trust
myself with you. I’m not going to make that mistake again because it’s too
important. We are going to have that talk but not yet. I have things to put in
order first so that you’re free, with choices ahead of you.”