Unbeautifully Loved (Breathe Again) (35 page)

Finally putting the frame back I made my way to the kitchen and found the breakfast Lukas had made me in the fridge. It was made just how I liked it; fruit on the bottom, then some yogurt topped with some granola. I smiled that he knew exactly how I liked it, that he had paid attention the few times he actually saw me eat it. After eating, I tidied up the kitchen before I slipped on my flip flops and made my way back to the house.

As I walked back to the house, the familiar feeling crept over my body and this time it felt different, closer, making me anxious. I didn’t stop to look, I just kept up my pace and hurried up our walkway, rushing up the front steps and throwing open the door and slamming it behind me.

Locking it.

“Mommy,” Finn called as he rushed down the hall from the kitchen. I turned just in time as he barreled into me, knocking me back a step as he wrapped his arms around me.

“Hey baby,” I smiled at him as I bent down, giving him a hug. “How’s my favorite little man? Missed you last night,” I said kissing the top of his head.

“Good, auntie made bacon and eggs for breakfast. There’s left over’s, want some?” Finn asked his voice soft and quiet as he looked up at me form under his lashes.

“I already ate bud, but I could go for some bacon. I’ll race ya—” Finn let go of me and ran down the hall before I finished my sentence. His laugh filled the house like music as I ran behind him.

“Auntie, mommy’s home,” Finn exclaimed running and jumping on his chair at the table and went back to eating his food.

“Auntie’s right, you cheat,” I said laughing, taking a piece of bacon off the plate on the counter.

Mollie looked up from the paper, with a wicked grin stretched across her face as she looked me up and down. “I see that bud.” She let the paper fall to the table as she grabbed her coffee mug, covering her grin as she sipped. “So… have a nice night babe? You look awfully refreshed for probably not sleeping much,” she winked setting her mug down.

Grabbing a mug from the cupboard I poured a coffee, not trying to hide the smile on my face. “Yeah it was uh... good.” You would have thought I slept with a coat hanger in my mouth all night.

Good didn’t begin to describe it, it was as if every single word that meant good had come together and created a new, more defined one because there wasn’t a word I could use to describe how my night was.

I settled on phenomenal.

“I bet it was.” The smirk was clear in her tone. “Nice shirt by the way, great band. Tell me, did he give you
more than a feeling
?” Mollie laughed.

I rolled my eyes. “Really Moll,” I laughed as I joined them at the table.

“So, tell me,” she looked at Finn who was too distracted by a comic book to be paying any attention to us, “how are things? They good now?” she gave me a knowing look and I knew what she was asking.

Better than good.

I sipped my coffee, feeling content. It was amazing how much things had changed since yesterday. “Yeah Molls, things are... great. We’re good. Thanks for watching Finn last night so we could get things sorted out.”

She slumped back in her chair, relieved. “Thank God
that’s
over with. And you’re welcome. Now… tell me what happened, I want the details.” Her eyebrows wiggled as she grinned.

“Bud?”

“Huh?”

“If you’re done breakfast, can you take your comic into the living room so auntie and I can talk for a few minutes?”

“Sure.” He slid off his chair with his eyes glued to the comic and walked straight into the living room, and jumped on to the couch.

“Almost five and he acts like he’s thirteen sometimes, especially with that Gameboy; why did we get it for him again?” I laughed, turning my attention to Mollie.

“Boy’s are born with the gene to play video games, that’s why pretty much all of them are good at it.” She shrugged. “Now enough about video master in there, I wanna know about Hottie McCuffs and how it went last night.”

I tossed my head back laughing. “Hottie McCuffs? Really Moll?”

“What? It’s suitable, I mean he is a cop with cuffs. Just saying, if Erik had cuff’s I’d let him cuff me to the bed any day.” Her eyebrows wiggled.

“Whoa,” I put my hand out to stop her, “way too much information, I do
not
need visuals of you and Erik thank you very much.”

Definitely didn’t need
that
image.

Mollie rolled her eyes. “Whatever now details of last night please and don’t leave out anything, I mean
anything.
”

Shaking my head I told her about what happened between Lukas and I after he literally carried me off to his place caveman style and then, like she asked, I didn’t leave out a single detail.

“Wait, he said he loved you?” she exclaimed, her eyes wide and jaw dropped.

“Yeah, well I don’t know,” I pulled my knees up to my chest. “I think so; I mean that’s what it sounds like right?”

“Uh yeah Lexie, that’s exactly what it sounds like. What’d you say?”

“Nothing, I panicked and kissed him,” I said sheepishly. “I didn’t know what to say.”

“Well...” A look of uncertainty crossed her face.

“Well...” I urged her to continue.

“
Do
you love him?”

Resting my chin on the top of my knees, I wrapped my arms around my legs and looked at her. “Molls I just... I don’t know. Lukas and I just... I guess figured things out. Do you think I do?” I asked and my stomach fluttered nervously.

Mollie reached across and took my hand giving it a gentle squeeze. “Lexie, I can’t answer that for you, only you can. When it happens, you’ll know,” she paused letting go of my hand. “It may already have and you just haven’t realized it yet, that’s all I can tell you.” She gave me a weak smile.

I knew what she meant.

“I just need to know for sure you know, I think I need to be with Lukas, for us to be an us before I know anything. I was never in love with Dex, it was just the idea of being in love, had nothing to do with him and I just don’t wanna make the same mistake, again.” I looked out into the living room at Finn sitting on the couch, Mollie following my gaze. “It’s not just me; he needs that male role model to look up to also. I need to be sure Lukas is it for
us.”

Mollie opened her mouth to say something but a loud bang came from the front door, startling us to our feet. “What the hell was that?” Mollie said walking across the living room to the front door and I followed closely behind.

“What was that?” Finn looked up.

“I don’t know, but stay on the couch okay.” I followed her to the door as she looked through the peep hole. “See anything?” I asked.

“Not unless there’s a midget down there waiting to attack us when I open the door,” Mollie mumbled before opening the door.

We both stepped out onto the porch and looked around. It was empty with a few cars parked in driveways and along the curb but otherwise quiet. I heard Mollie suck in a breath then urgently say, “Lexie.”

I turned around and the words I was going to speak caught in my throat when I saw what she was holding in her hands. It was smaller than the other boxes but same shiny paper but no card on top.

“Inside,” I motioned then followed her in and slammed the door, locking it.

Frozen, holding the box out in front of her like it was a bomb about to explode, "Are you going to open it?” I heard her wince.

“Yeah.”

Hesitating, I reached, taking it out of her hands. It was light, almost like it was empty. Tearing open the box, my body froze seeing what it held.

“What is it?” she asked stepping closer to me.

“Get my phone, I think I left it on the table,” I said firmly, ignoring her question.

“Lexie what–”

“Now Molls!”

She rushed off and returned just as quick holding out my phone. “Here.”

I took it with shaking hands and scrolled through until I found Lukas’ number and put my phone to my ear as the line rang.

“Babe, can’t talk right now, in the middle of something,” Lukas’ rough voice greeted.

“Another package was dropped off Lukas.” Holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder, I rotated the box in my hands nervously.

“When?”

“Just now, there was a loud bang at the door and it was sitting on the porch, whoever left it was gone.”

“
Fuck
.”

“Lukas–”

“What is it?”

“Body spray.” My favorite kind too, the same as I had upstairs in my room that was almost empty. “The same stuff I always wear.”

“Don’t do anything with it, set it aside and don’t let anyone touch it, was there a note?”

I didn’t recall seeing one when we brought it in so I looked around to see if it had fallen off or if it was maybe in the box but I didn’t see anything. There was no note this time.

I could hear his breathing coming over the phone. “You gonna tell me or what?”

“I was looking,” I snapped.

“I’m sorry, I’m a little pissed off that someone is sending you this shit with cracked out messages.”

“Well they’re coming to me, not you,” I motioned upstairs with my head to Mollie. “I told you, you didn’t have to get involved in this.”

“Lexie, we discussed this last night,” He growled

“More like you discussed and decided and if I remember correctly I had no say in the matter.”

I didn’t want to be picking a fight with him but I was freaked out and he wasn’t making the moment any better. It was a knee jerk reaction.

I threw open my door and stop dead.

Holy fucking shit.

“Oh, my God.”

“What?” he sounded far away.

My phone fell away from my ear as my arm dropped to my side while I looked around my room. Each side table had a vase overfilling with white and purple lilies.

Purple lilies were my favorite, but they had to be the perfect shade of purple.

These were perfect.

I looked around seeing nothing out of place, until my eyes passed over my bed then quickly darted back. It wasn’t how I left it. I always made my bed in the morning then left my tee on top and now looking at my bed, the duvet was tossed back and pillows moved around.

Oh, God.

I lifted my phone back to my ear, ignoring Lukas. “Someone was here Lukas, in my room. There’s...” I trailed off feeling sick to my stomach. “Someone was in my bed–”

“Get out of the room, don’t touch anything. Get Mollie and Finn, go to my place. I’m on my way right now.”

I nodded my head answering him, forgetting he couldn’t see me.

“Lex,” he called.

“Okay.” I said turning and rushing out of my room, closing the door behind me. “I’m going.”

“I’m heading over with a unit; get to my place.” I could hear him though the phone, rushing around, and the voices in the background getting louder. “I’ll see you as soon as I can.”

“Okay.” I whispered, moving quickly to Finn’s room.

“I’ll see you soon baby.” His voice came at me soft and calm; he was the only thing keeping me from losing it; his voice unfreezing me with its warmth.

I took a deep breath and exhaled.

“Okay.”

“Love you,” he said then the line went dead.

Quickly shoving my phone in my pocket I grabbed my already packed back from yesterday then rushed across the hall and grabbed two of Finn’s bags and started stuffing clothes inside, stopping when nothing more would fit; the zipper barely closing. I rushed down stairs to the living room where Mollie was flipping through a magazine and Finn was playing his game.

“Finn, can you get some of your toys, movies and whatever games you like together and put them in this bag for mommy?” I asked calmly, setting his already packed bag down on the couch, avoiding Mollie’s alarmed look.

“Where are we going?” Finn asked jumping off the couch, taking the bag.

“I’ll tell ya after, do it quickly okay.” I motioned towards his play room and watched him run off.

“Lexie, what the hell’s going on?” Mollie questioned standing from the couch.

“Did you lock the doors last night?”

“What? Yeah of course I did. Why?” she asked confused.

“Someone broke in last night,” I looked behind me to make sure Finn couldn’t hear us. “They put two vases of flowers in my room and.... someone was in my bed Mollie.”

Mollie’s hand slapped across her mouth in shock, “What, how?”

“I don’t know. What did you do last night?” I asked her trying not to panic.

“Nothing, Erik was over, we ordered pizza for dinner then watched a movie. I put Finn to bed, had a glass of wine, got tired and went to bed. Erik had the early shift at work this morning and didn’t wanna wake me, so he left right before I went up.” She said looking straight ahead in a daze. “But I did lock up, I remember doing so ‘cause I double checked the porch.”