Uncle John’s 24-Karat Gold Bathroom Reader® (66 page)

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WORLD’S FIRST CHEESECAKE RECIPE

Cato the Elder was a Roman statesman who lived in the 2nd century B.C. He was an author, military hero, and politician who rose to the position of
consul
, the highest elected office in the Roman Republic. And he
really
liked cheesecake—so much so that he included a recipe for it in a collection of his essays, entitled
De Agri Cultura
(“On Farming”). The recipe is remarkably similar to modern cheesecake, with separate directions for the crust and the filling, which was simply cheese mixed with a lot of honey. He called the cheesecake
placenta
—”flat cake” in Latin. (
De Agri Cultura
also contains one of the oldest recipes for sourdough bread.)

WORLD’S LARGEST BAKING-THEMED TOMB

In 1838 an ancient tomb was discovered near downtown Rome. Constructed sometime around 40 B.C., it stood 33 feet tall, it was supported by huge columns, and its upper section was lined with
sculptures...of people performing various baking duties. On the monument was the following inscription:

This is the monument of Marcus Vergilius Eurysaces, master baker, contractor, public servant.
According to studies, the least corrupt nation in the world is Denmark. Most corrupt: Somalia.

Little is known about him, but historians believe that his surname, Eurysaces, shows that he was Greek; that his two Roman first names indicate that he was probably a slave who bought his own freedom (common at the time); and that he must have been very wealthy (
un
common for a lowly baker and former slave) to have been able to afford such a massive monument. The “contractor, public servant” in the tomb’s inscription could mean that Eurysaces supplied bread to the enormous Roman army, which would also explain his wealth. The “Tomb of Eurysaces the Baker,” as it came to be known, remains a popular tourist site today.

WORLD’S OLDEST RECIPE FOR PITA BEAD

Ibn Sayyar al-Warraq, who lived in 10th-century Baghdad, wrote a collection of recipes that was used in the kitchens of the most prominent people of his day, including those of the ruling
caliphs
. The book, which was rediscovered only recently, contains 615 recipes (for snacks, soups, stews, desserts, wines, and more). Additional chapters cover utensils, proper handwashing, the best toothpicks, and after-meal napping. That alone would earn al-Warraq a spot in any food-related hall of fame, but he’s in this one because his
Book of Dishes
contains the oldest known recipe for
khubz
, the round “pocket bread” we know as
pita
. It is basically the same recipe used today, and it even calls for the bread to be baked in a
tannur
(now called a
tandoor
), the cylindrical clay oven still used throughout the Middle East and India.
The Book of Dishes
is the oldest Arabic cookbook in existence.

THE INVENTION OF PUFF PASTRY

In 1645 Gele, a rural French pastry cook’s apprentice, baked a loaf of bread for his sick father, who was under doctor’s orders to eat a lot of flour and butter. To make something special for him, Gele kneaded extra butter into the dough, then rolled it very thin and folded it over on itself into the shape of a loaf. He then baked it...and watched with surprise as it rose dramatically. Steam from the butter had become trapped in the folds, expanding and lifting
the dough. The finished product was a light, flaky, and buttery bread that Gele called
pate feuilletée
, meaning “leaf-like pastry.” Gele took his invention to bakeries in both Paris and Florence, where it became famous, and from there spread all over the world. True puff pastry still uses no yeast, but rises simply via the steam it creates.

Scientists say: The higher your IQ, the more you dream.

WORLD’S FIRST RECIPE FOR GÜLLAC

Hu Szu-Hui was a chef and physician to the leaders of the Mongol Empire in China in the 1300s. His book of ancient Mongol cuisine includes the first-known recipe is for
güllac
: Place chopped nuts between many layers of paper-thin dough that have been soaked in sweetened milk, top with pomegranate seeds, and bake. If it sounds familiar, remove the pomegranate seeds and add honey, and you’ve got the classic Greek dessert known as
baklava
. In fact, many food historians actually call güllac “the original baklava.” (But don’t tell the Greeks that.) Interestingly, Hu Szu-Hui wasn’t a Mongol—he was a Turk, and güllac is still a popular treat in Turkey, especially during the holy month of Ramadan.

Sidenote:
Dr. Hu’s book also includes recipes for bear soup (a cure for foot problems) and sheep’s heart (a cure for depression). And readers are warned against eating fish with eyelashes, which, according to Hu, are poisonous. (Fish don’t have eyelashes.)

THE RIDDLER

1.
I penetrate your ear, but if you poke out my eye, I really smell. What word am I?

2.
I have a head and a tail but no body in between. What am I?

3.
What kind of running means you’ll be walking?

4.
I have no mass and can’t be seen, but I make millions move every day, though few of them travel very far. What am I?

Answers:

1.
The word “noise”—take out the “i” and you’re left with a nose, which really smells.
2.
A coin.
3.
Running out of gas.
4.
Music, which makes people dance (moving without going anywhere).

In California, it’s illegal to shoot game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

THE ORIGIN OF PARCHEESI
(A GAME OF COWRIES
AND INDIANS)

No, it’s not a game that Native Americans played. It’s a game that actual Indians from India played by rolling cowrie shells. And it was once the most popular board game in the U.S. (before Monopoly). Here’s the story
.

C
HECKERED PAST
If you were the Mogul Indian emperor Akbar I in 1590, you might be playing
pachisi
, a game very much like Parcheesi—except
much
larger. Instead of a table-friendly foldout board, you and your three opponents would be playing in the center of a large room, on a floor of inlaid red and white marble. And instead of dice, you’d be rolling six cowrie shells. Most significantly, instead of sitting at a table and moving pieces of colored plastic, you and your opponents would be sitting on a raised platform, moving 16 members of your harem dressed in the four classic colors of the board. But the goal back then was the same as in modern Parcheesi: to get all four of your pawns home.

A game that’s more than 400 years old may seem old, but even then it was considered ancient. Mogul-era historians claimed the games went much farther back, perhaps as early as the 4th century A.D., perhaps even farther. Some believe, for example, that a version of pachisi may have been the storied “game of dice” that started a war in 400 B.C. between princely cousins, as told in the ancient Sanskrit text
Mahabharata
.

Today, it is the “national game of India.”

IN CASE YOU’VE NEVER PLAYED

Parcheesi, and its forerunners and descendants, are “Cross and Circle” game in which the players’ pawns start in one place, travel around the outside of an X-shaped board and—unless blocked, sent
back, or otherwise thwarted by the pawns of their competitors—eventually end up safe in a Home position in the center of the board (the place where Emperor Akbar and his opponents sat waiting for their harem girls). The competitor who gets all of their pawns home first is the winner.

Worldwide, Norwegians drink the most coffee and have the highest rate of anxiety disorders.

THE CURE FOR POST-WAR BOARDOM

In 1867, two years after the American Civil War ended, a New York game developer named John Hamilton adapted a version of the Indian game of pachisi. Historians are unclear how Hamilton found the game. Perhaps he was a world traveler, or maybe someone brought it to him from India. Either way, he copyrighted it as “Patcheesi,” adding a “t” and a double “e” to make sure Americans pronounced the name correctly (“Patcheasy”), instead of guessing (“peh-chizzy” or “pay-chai-see”). Keeping the unusual name turned out to be a smart marketing move: After decades of building a national identity and fighting numerous wars to keep it, Americans were ready to branch out and indulge themselves in this exotic “new” game from the mysterious East.

A year after Hamilton copyrighted Patcheesi and before any boards were printed or distributed, he sold the rights to the game. The buyer was a New York “fancy goods manufacturer” named Albert Swift, who in turn sold it to E. G. Selchow & Company (later renamed Selchow & Righter), which issued a yearly catalog of practical jokes, magic tricks, puzzles, and board games.

It was in those few years of going from owner to owner that Patcheesi’s “t” turned into an “r.” No one knows who changed the name or why, but in 1874 the newly-coined Parcheesi became a huge hit for Selchow & Righter. It sold several million copies and created a small industry of knockoffs. Until Monopoly became popular in the 1920s, Parcheesi was
the
game of choice.

A LUDO-CROSS CULTURAL ADAPTATION

Parcheesi didn’t catch on in England until several decades after it did in the United States—a curious fact considering that England colonized India in the 1850s and helped itself to the region’s tea, spices, textiles, ivory, and opium. It wasn’t until 1896, at the height of America’s Parcheesi craze, that the English finally adapted
the game. Likely fearing lawsuits, this new version of Hamilton’s game was called Ludo (“I play” in Latin). The rules were altered slightly before the game was patented and spread throughout the British Empire (including to India).

Most common name for currencies worldwide: “dollar.” Second most common: “franc.”

As with Parcheesi in North America, Ludo became Great Britain’s dominant board game in the early 1900s. In fact, both versions are still popular in the 21st century.

CHEESI VARIATIONS

The popularity of Ludo in England brought even more imitators from all over the world. Of all the various non-Indian variations of pachisi, Hamilton’s Parcheesi is the closest to the original, but it has many cousins.


Mensch Ärgere Dich Nicht.
This German variation of Ludo, released in 1914, translates to “Don’t Get Angry, Man!” It differed in that players could not only could block their competitors but knock them all the way back to the start. This variation and its name spread through Croatia, Slovakia, the Czech Republic, Italy, and the Netherlands. An English-language variation hit the U.S. and Canada in the 1930s. You may know it better as...


Sorry!
Patented in England in 1929, Sorry! was released in the United States six years later by Parker Brothers, and became one of their best sellers. Replacing the dice with cards, the goal is the same—to get all four of your pawns Home before your opponents make you go back to Start.


Uckers
is a much more aggressive version of Ludo that was popular in the British Navy in the 1930s. Sometimes played in teams, you not only have to get all four of your pieces Home first, but you must do so before any of your opponents get
any
of their pieces Home.


Pachisi, Pachesi, Parchesi, and Game of India
were all knockoffs with one purpose in mind: Create something as close to Parcheesi as possible without getting sued for copyright infringement. The first one was released in 1899 when a company called Chaffee & Selchow ripped off the Selchow & Righter game without even changing the name. A lawsuit was filed, but the case was dropped when it was revealed that the Selchow in the new company was the son of the original Selchow. Because he was still
living at home with his parents, he agreed to pay a modest settlement. (No word on whether he was kicked out of the house.)

Jamestown, Virginia, was originally founded as a site for producing silk (1607).


Pollyanna:
A Milton Bradley product (as was the knock-off Game of India), Pollyanna was unique in that it may have been the first pop-culture version of a popular board game. Decorated with characters from the popular 1913 children’s book,
Pollyanna
, by Eleanor H. Porter, this version of Parcheesi was the predecessor of modern crossover games such as
Star Wars
Monopoly and
The Simpsons
Clue.


Clue
isn’t based on Parcheesi, but the name of the game comes from Cluedo, invented in England as a way to pass the time during World War II bombing raids. The name of
that
game was modeled after Ludo. (If the Parker Brothers had followed that logic in America, the game might have been called Cluecheesi.)

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