Unsettled (Chosen #1) (3 page)

I was swallowed
hard as I was overwhelmed by the biggest rush of indecision. How the fuck did I get into this situation? I looked for any alternate choices. Just then, the Green T went whirling by. “We’ll take the Green line home and we’ll call Conner to get us,” I pleaded hopefully.

Darcy
smirked at me like I was stupid to even think about it. “I’m fine,” she said again, without attitude this time.

“
Darcy,” I groaned. “I can’t drive. I can’t let you drive and if you choose to drive, I can’t get in that car with you,” I said with a pleading glance to Teagan.  Turning to him, I asked, “What time is it? There may be one more C line back to Wellesley.”

One of the guys
at the front crossed his arms over his chest and in a bored voice said, “It’s too late. That was the last train.”

“Shit
,” I said under my breath as I rolled my eyes up to Darcy.

“
Fine,” she said. “You aren’t coming. That’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow. I need to get to Conner. He’s pissed and I need to fix this.” She started to fumbled with the car door and keys again, looking flustered

Again, I
used all my physical energy and shoved my body back into her car door. I know I left a dent. I tried, without grace, to remove the keys from her hands but she was a spitfire crazed woman on a mission and I couldn’t get them pried out of her hands.

One of
the guys stepped up and tried to help me talk to Darcy but she just shoved them away. Eventually, they just stood there dumbstruck. Before I could figure out a way to get the keys away from her again, Darcy wedged her body through the tiniest slit of the driver’s door. She started the ignition, turned on the headlights and yelled for everyone to move. My shoulders slumped in defeat. After making a several point turn to maneuver her way out of the spot, she was gone. I sat on the curb and threw my head in my hands.
Jesus H. Christ. What have I done this time?

Four

Couch

I
remained hunched over my knees for a long after Darcy drove away. I looked down at my digital Swatch and realized she had to be home by then. I let out a deep exhale, praying that she was safe and making her apologies to my brother. That was not a place where I wanted to be a fly on the wall. Conner was going to be so pissed at me the next day. I didn’t even realize Teagan and the rest of them were still there when a taxi cab honked his horn at another car crossing the lane. I felt so alone in my thoughts while the bustling street came to a dead silence. Teagan stayed perfectly still, staring at me while he murmured with one of his friends. He must have been thinking I was having a mental breakdown. People don’t just sit on curbs of Boston streets and stare off in space unless something is seriously wrong with them.

I tried to compose myself and rectify any feelings they must
have had about me. I cleared my dry throat. “I don’t know what to do,” I said quietly. “I can take a taxi but that will cost me fifty dollars and I only have a few bucks left on my debit card. Maybe…” I trailed off, looking into my pocket to see if I had brought one of my many credit cards. I knew one of Conner’s friends lived nearby. Maybe it was up towards Boston Colleg? But what would I say to him? I couldn’t show up at a stranger’s house in the middle of the night and plead to sleep on his couch.

Noticing that I was quickly becoming immersed in my thoughts again,
Teagan cleared his throat. I looked up to his sweet blue eyes and he held out his hand to me.

“Come on,
” he said with confidence. “We won’t bite you. You can stay on the couch and take the train home tomorrow. Maybe Darcy can pick you up and you can talk then?”

I got to my feet and thanked him in the quietest voice I could muster.
I laughed to myself that I was actually going to a stranger’s house and pleading with them to let me sleep on their couch. Ten paces down Commonwealth, I said, “I couldn’t get in the car. Not like that.”

And I couldn’t. When I was sixteen, my parents bought me a brand new Nissan because I passed the driving test on the first try. I
’ve always been persistent in my independence, so I practiced for weeks, and just like that, I was on my own way to do as I pleased. One night in June 1993, I was named the designated driver by a bunch of my girlfriends who wanted to go to a keg party. I was quickly distracted by Chase. At that time, he and I had only known each other through mutual friends but we started talking and decided to have a conversation away from the loud Metallica music and keg stands. We stayed in the back of his truck bed and drank his beers, laughing at all the stupid drama at the party. For example, someone thought it was funny to throw tires on the bonfire. By the time we left, I was aware that I had a few beers in me, but I didn’t feel intoxicated by any means. After dropping the first two girls off at home, my last girlfriend, Mel, and I decided that we needed snacks. I headed into the 7-11 to get some donuts. When I returned to the car, I found my friend passed out, my car still running and an officer rummaging through my backseat, finding empty beer bottles. I was immediately arrested. Three hours later, my mother bailed me out jail with my donuts in a plastic bag and soot from the burning tires all over my face. I swore to myself, and the judge who suspended my license for a year, that I would never drive drunk again. That year was miserable but I didn’t worry about drinking and driving since my license was suspended. Instead, I drank. Oh, how I drank.

Teagan
gave me a puzzled look like he was trying to understand me. He shook his head. We both kept our eyes on the pavement as we walked down the street to their apartment. I slowed. Teagan stopped. When he turned around, he was smiling his wide, toothy smile and gently intertwined our hands together. It was so warm and comforting, shocks of pleasure swiftly flashed through my stomach. When we got to his stairs, I was exhausted. I didn’t want to be social. I wanted to be alone. Well, that wasn’t the whole truth. Teagan could stay with me since his hand was permanently attached to mine and I didn’t want to let go.

“
Do you mind if I come in…in a little while?” I asked him.

“
No, not all,” he said. “Let me check on the boys and I’ll be right back out.” He held up his hands, silently telling me not to go anywhere. It was adorable.

As I
sat perched on the steps at 1529 Commonwealth Avenue, I watched drunken college students bound down the street, falling over themselves and laughing. I studied an older lady walking by with a supermarket cart filled to the brim with her prized possessions. I gazed across the street as red and white car lights blurred by. I fought back the urge to cry. Maybe it was because I was coming off the adrenaline rush from the evening. Wasn’t this the kind of night I was trying to avoid by leaving Oregon? Stupid drinking and drama didn’t sit well with me but it sure as hell followed me wherever I went. I needed to stop being a reckless drinker and find something healthier for myself.

I thought being with Chase was a healthy life choice.
Chase was safe. The only reckless thing I did with him was running away to Oregon. Looking back, I knew that we were more friends than lovers, just trying to find a new life for ourselves in a new part of the country.

Teagan stepped out on the stairs and the hard click of the door startled me from my internal scrutiny. He held out a Sam Adams bottle, already opened, and sat down next to me with one of his own.

“Not a great night?” he asked, looking out across the street.

I sighed. “I
’ve had worse.” A few moments passed in silence as we drank from our bottles. I could feel him becoming antsy. He obviously wanted to talk.

“How old are you?”
he asked.

“
Twenty-three. How about you?”

“
Twenty-two,” he said. I nodded my head and stared at him a bit longer than I should have.

“
Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked as he pulled off his beer.

“
Twenty-two? I don’t know,” I stammered. “I’m older than you.” I laughed feeling like an idiot that I had been caught staring at him.
Good recovery, Lizzie. Just brilliant.

Teagan smiled and came closer to me on the steps
, resting his thigh against mine. The night was getting chilly and my small giggle obviously told him it was okay to inch towards me. I didn’t feel drunk, and I definitely didn’t feel like I was in danger. I felt like everything was just as it was supposed to be and I didn’t want the night to ever end.

After our beers were long gone
, my ass started to numb on the concrete so I politely asked if I could use his restroom. I felt so comfortable with Teagan already and the night’s events seemed less dramatic and life altering with him on my side. He took my hand, unlocked the front door with a key and proceeded to the left apartment on the first floor. Opening the door, he murmured, “My friends are a little out of control after midnight so consider yourself warned.” He gave a teasing nudge to my shoulder, making me stumble into the apartment.

He walked me to the restroom and I locked myself in. I stared at my face and tried to remove the makeup
Darcy had plastered on me. I sat down on the covered toilet and listened for any craziness in the apartment. When I first walked in, I saw the kitchen and living area and the right hall went down to the bathroom and two bedrooms. I glanced in one bedroom on my way to the bathroom and saw three mattresses on the floor with hardly any covers and flat pillows.

Pondering where Teagan slept
, and hoping I wouldn’t sleep on a floor since all of them were twin beds, I heard the boisterous laughter of the guys coming from the living room. Then I remembered there was a couch I could sleep on and I let out a sigh of relief. “Baby Got Back” pounded through a CD player as I tentatively stepped out of the bathroom. Teagan, standing to my right, grabbed my waist and made me gasp. “Jesus Christ, you scared me. What the hell is going on?” I asked.

“I was wondering the same thing,
” he said in a slow, thick accent. I looked him up and down and marveled at his attentiveness. He was very attractive with his long jaw, high cheeks bones, and strong arms.

“Huh?”
I asked, breaking the moment of appreciating him.

“You were in there so long, I thought you
passed out. I was about ready to break the door down.” He laughed. “Come on. These guys are about to put on an interesting show.”

He walked me
down the hallway to the living room. Two of the guys were talking on one couch. The other one, I think his name was Aidan, was on another couch, looking up at the last roommate who, and I kid you not, was completely naked except for his briefs and had his ball sack hanging out of the side. Dancing around the wooden coffee table in the middle of the room, he stopped right in front of me and made a indecent gesture with his back. What the hell was I watching? Why does one man in a crowd of guys get totally naked and do this?

“Is
he following through on a dare?” I asked as I slipped my eyes from the man’s nut sack to Teagan. Teagan was not staring at the guy on the table. He was watching me intently. He was gauging my reaction. After a few minutes, he lifted his shoulders. “Kellen’s just like that. He likes to be naked and he loves attention.” He made it sound like this was a normal occurrence. Good to know that the Irish are so free with their bodies. I started laughing so hard, I couldn’t stop. I hadn’t laughed that hard in months and it felt great. I told Teagan I was going to pee my pants.

H
e replied with a smirk, “I’m not allowing you to go back in the bathroom again, so piss away.”

We took seats
comfortably close to each other just when Kellen stepped off the table and pronounced he was tired and headed off to bed. Just like that? I guess the show was over. Soon after, Cian and Aidan followed him to their beds. Teagan and I made conversation for about an hour, mostly about Boston, what he had seen so far, and what Oregon was like. It was an easy exchange. His last roommate was still awake and in the living room with us. He had curly, jet black hair with freckles and green eyes. He was beautiful, too! He tried to include himself in our conversation every once in a while but remained stuck to the couch, looking down into his bottle.

I felt a bit uncomfortable by his presence so I held out my hand and said, “Hey, you probably don’t remember my name but I’m Lizzie O’Malley.” He took my hand gingerly and kissed the back of it and quietly said, “I remember, Lizzie. I am Freddie. Freddie Quinn.” He gave me the most adorable smile. Our eyes locked, my stomach plummeted again, and my cheeks flushed. What the fuck was up with adorable and sweet Irish boys? I had always imagined that Irishmen were drunken idiots that crossed their arms over each other and danced the Irish step dance.

I
noticed Teagan out of the corner of my eye staring at Freddie and then he cleared his throat.

“Well, I guess I should head to bed.
It was a pleasure to meet you, Lizzie,” Freddie said with an intense, smoldering look.

I didn’t want
Freddie to go. I felt an unexplained tightness in my chest with his sudden urge to leave. I wanted to talk to him more.
Ugh, another internal debate
. I hadn’t noticed him in all of the drama that night and even though I didn’t know him at all, I wasn’t ready to be alone with Teagan. There was a short stare down between Freddie and Teagan. Was Teagan demanding that Freddie leave so he could pursue me? Did Freddie want to pursue me, too? I want to ask him to stay a little longer but the moment was gone. He started off the couch and headed to his room in a hurried manner. Just as he rounded the hallway to his twin bed, I stopped him short. “Goodnight, Freddie Quinn. It was so nice to meet you,” I said as I took in his long body. So fucking sexy. He looked back at the both of us and faintly grinned.

Teagan
looked at me strangely at first as he saw the look I gave Freddie and then quickly changed it to smoldering. With hooded lids, he took my cheeks in his hands. He briefly kissed me. I felt a surge of energy rush through my body. I looked up into his deep blue eyes and smiled. His kiss was so soft and tentative. His lips were confident but I could tell he was shaking slightly. I moved my hands over his tight arms and grasped the back of his short blond hair to pull him down to me. He rolled over me and we moved in sync to each other’s hands, lips, and bodies.

I basked in his warmth over my body and struggle
d to get my breath as he consumed me. We never lost any clothes. Strangely, there was something naked about our feverish intimacy. I have never felt so emotionally comforted until then. For once, I felt complete in the arms of another.