Void (15 page)

All without being the one to give that to her.

I was fucked up. A real sick son-of-a-bitch for what I did on a regular basis. Watching another man get his rocks off fucking a woman while I got mine off watching—sitting in the shadows and guiding their movements.

As I closed the door and walked out of the room I had placed Nicola in, I thought about it. Each step I took, hitting the nail on my coffin that stood between me and sanity.

I needed help.

I needed therapy.

Fucking ironic, huh?

I SLEPT LIKE I HAD never slept before, both mentally and physically exhausted from all the new shit that was overwhelming me. I stretched into the darkness, noticing the silkiness of the satin sheets I laid upon. I felt all the muscles in my body protest from the movement, the deep ache feeling more prominent as I moved. My thighs still trembled and it didn’t help that the memories of last night flashed through my mind. Being bent over a table and fucked until I was nearly un-capable of forming a coherent sentence was fucking wonderful.

I smiled into the darkness, something that I didn’t do a lot of. Not that I didn’t know how to smile, or that I didn’t want to, it was just that nothing really ever gave me reason enough to feel this happy. I was stupid happy. Like the giggling school girls I had seen on TV yet never understood, and I was smiling so much my jaw hurt.

I sat up in bed, doing my best to work my long, blonde, mussed up hair into some sort of organization. Andris had left me a t-shirt to sleep in and I lifted the material to my nose and took a deep inhale.

It smelled like
him
. It smelled like Andris. A combination of the two things had my previously darkened and nearly non-existent emotions bubbling to the surface in full force. It was almost too much, as things that I had never felt before began to flood me chin deep into the empty swimming pool I felt placed in.

I yawned, stretching once more for good measure. Opening my eyes didn’t cure the darkness of the room, because when I did, I was still met with inky blackness. I felt around on the surface of the massive bed I was in (I knew it was massive because I had rolled around in it before I fell asleep) to see if I could find the ledge. I felt a chill filter through the air and suddenly I felt like I wasn’t alone.

“Who’s there?” I asked into the dark emptiness.

I was met with silence as I scooted toward the edge of the bed, allowing my feet to come into contact with the cold hardwood floor beneath me. I had no clue where the door was, or even if I was allowed to exit through it.

“There is a robe lying on the bed to your right. You can put it on if you are cold.”

I jump, startled by the voice in the room. It sounded familiar, yet different at the same time. I had trained my ears to recognize sounds to help me associate them with certain emotions. The voice I heard was deep, dark, with just the smallest hint of what sounded like a New Jersey accent.

“Holy fucking hell!” I yelped, my voice echoing off the walls in the room and giving me an idea of just how large it was.

“You scared the shit out of me.”

I heard shuffling and then the sound of shoes as they walked across the floor, sounding more distant from me.

“My apologies.”

What the hell was he doing in here? Who the hell was he?

“Where is Sinclaire?” I asked him, reaching for the robe and finding it right where he had described, next to me on the bed.

“Sinclaire will be around shortly. He is busy making arrangements for your return home.”

My heart rate sped up, the points in my wrist matching the heavy beating that began to form in my chest. Suddenly, something in the air shifted. It filled with electricity and I had to squeeze my thighs together to try and quell the ache that was forming.

“Link?” I asked, standing from the bed and securing the robe around my waist. The chill that I only moments before felt, was now gone and heat and warmth had settled in its place.

He didn’t respond.

“I know it’s you. So don’t try to pretend that it isn’t.”

“Very well.”

He spoke with an air of elegance. Someone who had grown up sophisticated, clearly very charming. The richness of it made my belly flutter, like when you go down a steep hill on a rollercoaster. I never got that feeling with men. Sure, I got a little excited at the prospect of an orgasm when I was with a client, but most of the time I was disappointed and left wanting after our sessions were over. Each time, it seemed it took me longer and longer to climax and more often than not I finished the job myself when I got home.

So why was it that just being in the presence of this man, who I couldn’t even see, made me feel like I could cum just from listening to him talk? Why did my body and dormant emotions come to life whenever I was with him or thought about him?

“Why did you want a twelve week contract with me? You could have had any number of girls from the agency, why me?”

I asked the question that had been nagging me. Of all the girls, why the fuck did he want me?

His silence nearly had me crawling out of my skin. Like there was an itch in my bones that I couldn’t scratch. I was nearly ready to speak again when he finally answered.

“It was a chance encounter with you. I was expecting Kiki, but when Alexandra told me she wasn’t available, I told her to send me someone else. It happened to be you. She explained to me that you were one of the most demanded girls, so I trusted her. I’m glad I did.”

I shivered. His voice alone did things to my body that no man could do with his cock. It was a strange thing, feeling shit you never had before. But the feelings coming from Link were ones that were welcome. I submitted to men because I had to. It was my job to give them what they wanted because they paid me to do so. But this man made me
want
to do whatever the fuck he asked me to. Hell, I’d walk around the damn room with my thumb stuck up my ass if I knew it turned him on. My desire to have him was almost as potent as my desire to please him.

The sound of him walking toward me made me stand up a little straighter, even though my legs felt like they could give out.

“Wh—why did you make me wear the headphones and then now speak to me? I can’t see you. I have no idea what you look like.”

My voice faltered as I felt him at my side. Chill bumps ran up my swiftly overheating body, creating a tingling sensation to run up my arm and straight to my fucking clit. I closed my eyes and I absorbed the enormity of what I was feeling. This—this was a whole new level of pleasure that I had never experienced before. It was sexy, erotic, and damn near fucking spiritual. A connection of cosmic proportions. That would be the only way I could explain it.

Dr, Gunn had always told me that all we needed to do was find my trigger. Something that would spur and entice my sleeping emotions. I was quickly wondering if Link was that trigger.

“I like to be nondescript and faceless, Miss Lane. It keeps things impersonal. No expectations. No presumptions. No complications. It allows you to use your imagination. To conjure up your own idea of what the person looks like as he fucks you hard. Admit it. It turns you on to not know. It makes that pussy of yours quiver with excitement.”

He leaned in, close enough that I could feel the warmth of his breath, the heat from his body, and hear the desire dripping from his voice.

“I bet if I slid my fingers between your thighs, I’d find your cunt ready and eager for me to take you, wouldn’t I?”

I let out a staggered breath, shaking from the inside because everything he said was true. I could feel it, I didn’t have to reach my own hands down to know that my pussy was saturated with want, soaked with desire, and filled with an ache that only he could offer relief to.

“Yes.”

It was a one word answer, but mainly because that was all I was capable of saying. My brain seized when he was this close to me. My body responded instead, allowing my mind the freedom to allow myself to experience the sensations. I didn’t have to think about them. I didn’t have to search through every corner of my mind to wonder what it was that I was
supposed
to feel, but instead got to endure the physicality and awareness of what I
was
feeling.

He lifted a hand and stroked it down the back of my long hair. Through each strand, I could feel him. Each follicle giving way to tiny pin pricks of pleasure coursing through me.

“One time was all it took for me to get lost in you. I
don’t
do that. I don’t lose myself in anyone or anything especially a fucking hooker. What the fuck is it about you that is different? What makes your pussy golden, and everyone else’s like garbage?” He asked as his fingers enclosed around the nape of my neck, using them to tilt my head to the side and he pressed a hot, open mouthed kiss on my neck and lightly grazed his teeth against my flesh. My body responded instantly, I knew he felt me jerk because he smiled against my skin.

“I like that I own you for the next twelve weeks. I get off on the fact that your sweet little cunt will be mine whenever I want it, however I want it. It thrills you too. I don’t have to see you right now to know the flush of your skin. I don’t have to use my sight to know how turned on you are at this very moment. I hear it in the hitch of your breath and the way you keep shifting from one foot to the other.”

I think I whimpered. Like some little fucking pussy cat who was begging to be pet by her owner. I wanted him. I wanted to feel that delicious feeling of him driving into me as I climaxed around him. I felt suffocated by him, the toxicity of his presence doing funny things to my mind and body.

Suddenly, he moved away from me and I heard footsteps walking away. A bright light filtered into the room from the door, silhouetting him in the doorway. I turned my head to the side, trying to shield my eyes from the intrusion of the light, squinting and unable to see due to being in the dark so long. When my eyes finally adjusted all that I saw was the silhouette of Link as he walked out the door, closing it behind him and leaving me in the darkness, alone once again.