Walking in the Shadows (27 page)

“Thank you
…” s
he replied
,
resting her head on
mine,
“f
or
letting me in.”

“
Jaz
—
you might be alright,
”
I whispered
as I
clos
ed
my eyes.

“Besties forever?”

“
Sure,
” I replied
,
dis
tracted by a flash of mermaid
hair throu
gh th
e books
.
“Did you see a chick with weird hair
when you came in?”

“Yeah, she was a couple rows down.”

“What did she look like?”

“Don’t know. I didn’t see h
er face. Just that hideous hair,
”
Jaz commented
,
her eyes wide.

“Pretty awful, huh?”
I laughed as I tried
to shake the feeling in my stomach that she had been watching me yet again.

“The
L
ittle
M
ermaid
rang;
s
he said
s
he wants her wig back
.
”
Jaz burst
out in laughter.

“You think she’s new here?”

“Maybe, but maybe not…there’s about
twelve
hundred students that go here.”

“I swear Lily
said she
didn’t go here…” I replied
.

“You talked to Lily
? She hates you!”

“
Remember o
ver winter vacation she saw me at the mall
?
She
was with the dye disaster
that day
,
”
I explained as I looked around the book shelf but saw no one.

“I’m sure there is more
than
one person with that color hair. I mean plenty of
girls dye their hair that color,
”
Jaz reassured me as her eyes questioned my face. I could tell she believed it as much as I did.

Somehow the whole school had managed to fit into
the auditorium and while
some were falling asleep
,
I sat erect next to Jaz as we listened to the superintend
e
nt
.

“Ashley was a wonderful girl, full of spirit and nice to everyone
. L
ast week she w
as murdered at the Winter Formal
. You all know
this and
we know it’
s been hard to come to school again, but we feel it is only right to tell you the truth.”

“Feels like he’
s Dumbledore and Cedri
c just got k
illed by Voldermort,
”
Jaz
whispered
into my ear.

“A
re we going to have every novel played out at t
his school?” Brad commented as he rolled h
is eyes and sunk deeper into his
chair
.

I didn’
t want to be here ri
ght now
, but I couldn’t think of any place I really wanted to be. Tad wasn’t looking at me, let alone speaking to me and every time someone coughed I jumped into the air as if I was strung out on drugs. Just what I needed—people thinking I was on drugs. Every part of me tingled in fear, and I wondered if eventually I would just get used to it. I wondered if eventually I just wouldn’t feel any more. My emotions were spent. I felt like there was nothing left to me but sadness and empty holes w
h
ere the ones I loved had been cut out of me like paper snowflakes.

“You look super pale
Vera
,
”
Jaz
noticed as she nudged me with her elbow
.

My phone vibrated in my pocket
,
and I lowered myself in the chair to avoid any
of the
teachers seeing
the shine of
the text message
.

“Trouble sleeping,
”
I muttered in response.

“D
ude, that’
s everyone right now,
” Brad said
as he squeezed
Jaz
’s hand.

TEXT FROM TAD

Teachers’
bathroo
m 5 min, 2nd
floor

I looked at
the wall where the teacher
s w
ere standing and found Tad looking at me. I nodded my head in reply
,
and he whispered something to a fellow teacher before he exited the room.

“I’
m going to go to the ba
throom—cover for me?” I asked Jaz
, biting my lip innocently.

“I can go with?”
s
he suggested.

“Nah, I’m
fi
ne by myself. I just need a few.
This
is heavy for me. I mean
,
I found her…”

Jaz
nodded her head,
her lips sympathetic.

“Bathroom?” I mouthed to the teacher who raised an eyebrow at me. She nodded her head
,
and I continued out.

As I rushed up the stairs my heart hammered in my chest—what was going on? I looked over my shoulder before slipping into the
teachers’
single
bathroom. As soon as I was
in the room Tad slipped his arm around me and locked the door. I leaned back against the door
with
his
hands on either side of me
.

“What’s wrong?” I asked
.

“
Screw logical
Vera
,
” Tad whispered
,
and his lips found mine. I was helpless to make it stop because I didn’t want it to stop.

“Tad,” I gasped
when I got a breath.

“I love you
,
and
I don’t want to wait. Can’t you just let this be my decision?”
h
e asked as
h
is ocean
eyes begged me to understand
,
inches away from my own.

I laid my hand on his cheek
,
“I love you too
,
but—”

“But nothing
—
if you love me then why not be together?”

“Because I love you,
and I know you love teaching.”

“I love you more
,” h
e replied
,
and we were kissing again
deeper than before
.
I realized I was helpless to keep us apart because I didn’t want us to be apart.
It felt as though my whole body was electrified
by his touch
,
and I pressed my body hard against his, my hands gripping his strong shoulders. He pushed back
,
his hands somehow soft against the skin of my face
,
but desperately passionate. He pulled away slow
ly
and pressed his forehead against mine, his hand resting over my collar bone with his thumb caressing my neck. He took a deep breath. “So are we on the same page now?”

I leaned forward and kissed his neck, then his chin and then his
lips
.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

I laughed breathless. “Yes.”

“I’d really like to continue this…”

“But we should get
back,
” I
finished
with a sigh.

“Mhmm…” he tilted my chin and kissed
me. I took a deep breath and smiled, but the happiness faded when I heard footsteps in the hall.

“Tad—“I began with my heart hammering in my chest, but his finger forcefully found my lips and made me silent.

His eyes searched mine as we both listened to the footsteps coming closer and closer. We had just committed to this, and it was all going to come to a screeching halt. The footsteps stopped in front of the door, and Tad’s brows hunched over his eyes. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes, and I could see that he was thinking the same thing as his Adam’s apple rose and fell. His eyes closed and the color drained from his face
as the knock reverberated against the wood of the door. I wasn’t breathing and neither was Tad. The doorknob jiggled and a tear slipped down my cheek. Tad shook his head, and wiped the tear away.

“Yeah?” Tad finally said.

“You about done
,
man?” Paul’s voice rang through the door, and it felt as though the world had shifted—tilted on its axis and everything was going terribly wrong.

“About done…” Tad nodded for me to go into the corner, so he could open the door. I shook my head in fear, and he mouthed the words ‘trust me’ before kissing my forehead and nodding for me to move. I did as he instructed, but my heart was pounding in my brain and the large bathroom was getting smaller.

“Man, I don’t think you want to go in there—if you know what I mean,” Tad commented as he quickly pulled the door shut behind him.

The tension of the moment rushed out of me as I tried my hardest to keep the laughter that was rushing up my throat down.

“Uhh…yeah. I’ll use the one on the
other
floor, thanks…” Pa
ul replied, and I had to bite my
fist. I listened as both their footsteps and their voices disappeared, and then when I couldn’t hear them I tipped my head back and burst out laughing. Everything hit me all at once, anxiety, happiness, and most of all relief. I took a deep breath and when I went into the auditorium my eyes met Tad’s. We shared a secret smile, and then the darkness of the room and the reason we were there washed over me again.

“That was hardcore,
”
Jaz
commented
as we left the auditorium.

“Yeah, I know…not sure they
needed to do all that
,
” I replied with a shrug of my shoulders
.

“You seem alright though?”
Jaz
cocked her head at me in concern
.

“Not too ba
d. Scared out of my wits though. I mean
look at all the cops around the school.”

“You think it’s a bit extreme?”
s
he asked
as we squeezed past one.

“Not really, but it’s when we l
eave here
that
we have to worry…you know, when we’
re alone,
”
I answered
,
closing my eyes for a moment to clear the thought from my mind.

“Does your apartment have an alarm system?”
Jaz
asked
,
and I shook my
head
.
She squeezed my arm
.
“I’m
sure you’
ll be alright. Y
ou can always come over and stay at my house some nights if you want.”

“What are you doing tonight?”
I jumped on the opportunity
as she opened her maroon locker.

She laughed
.
“Nothing, but I’
ll have to call my m
om and ask…I’ll say your parents are on vacation for the week
,
and you don’t feel good staying home alone?”

“Inventive, I like it,
”
I said with a fake smile.

“What’s inventive?” Brad interrupted as he joined us while
we walked to Tad’s class.

“Nothing,
”
Jaz
said
with her jaw clenched
.

“You’re lying
.
You
always t
urn red when you lie,
” Brad commented
,
his eye brows raised
.

“It’s the w
hole day getting to her,
” I interjected
.
“We were just planning our slumber party.”