Wanting You (17 page)
“He thinks he can just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Not. Gonna. Happen.” My spine stiffened at my words.
“You know I’m not a fan of his, by any means, but he might be right.”
I gaped my mouth at her. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No. I’m not. Vann, he obviously cares about you. He has a messed up way of showing it sometimes, but you have history. You’ve trusted him with Gabriella, and when he came here today, you obviously didn’t push him away.”
“I know,” I said, hanging my head as shame washed over me.
“Then whatever that was in there … you need to reel it in. We all know you’ve been through a lot, but a guy like Deke can’t be pushed too much.”
“What, so I’m just supposed to let him take care of me? Where was he when I needed him five years ago?”
“Where were you?”
“Shut up,” I said, burying my head in my hands.
“You see my point. You’ve got some seriously fucked up shit going on here, and you’ve gotta get it worked out. Look, I know you love him. Figure it out.” The silence after those words were spoken was deafening. I jumped out of my seat and rushed to Deke. He didn’t say a word as I walked to him, but I could feel the anger rolling off him in waves.
Instead of some big speech, I walked up to him and tightly wrapped my arms around him. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
When Deke didn’t reciprocate, I felt the tears begin to fall. Suddenly my bed sounded like a much better place to be. As I started to pull away from him, he wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me tight.
My legs gave out, forcing all my weight onto Deke, who scooped me up into his arms, weightlessly, kissing me on the forehead repeatedly. Burrowing my head in his neck, I could feel him walking, but at this point I just didn’t care where we were going … as long as I was with him. As he gripped my body tighter in his arms, I could feel my tension easing away.
“I’m gonna lay you down.”
The soft bed caressed my body, but the coldness swept through from the loss of Deke so close. Moments later, I felt the bed dip next to me. I didn’t ask, but just moved into his arms, resting my head on his now bare chest.
My vision was blurry from the tears, but I wanted so badly to explore him. It would sadly need to wait.
Time escaped me as I lay curled in his arms, but the tears finally dried up as my body molded against his, completely relaxed. Deke never said a word and continued to slowly stroke my shoulder. It was exactly what I needed, and damn if my heart didn’t swell in that moment.
Raising my head from his chest, my cheek stuck a bit. I quickly wiped it with my hands, trying not to let the embarrassment show.
“You okay?” he drawled smoothly.
Staring in his eyes, I knew I was lost … again. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”
“You’ve been through a lot.”
“I shouldn’t have said those things.”
“They were true … at least at the time.”
“Why didn’t you ever call me after I left?” I whispered, resting my hands on his chest with my chin on top, staring at him. My hand instantly found the key that was dangling from the rope on his neck.
“You wanna talk about this now?”
“Yes.”
Blowing out a deep breath, Deke looked up at the ceiling. “I was pissed. I couldn’t believe you left me.”
“I’m sorry.” My voice was so quiet, but I couldn’t speak louder.
“Why did you go? Why didn’t you stay with your grandma?” The pain in his eyes tore me up. I wanted to erase all those years of hurt for him.
“I couldn’t. Mom was flipping her lid, saying that I was just like my father leaving her. I had to go.” I tried hard to hold the tears back as they were lurking in the back of my eyes.
“That’s why I didn’t call. I was pissed at just about everything in life already, then when you left, it got worse.”
“I wanted to stay, ya know?”
“No, not really,” he grumbled. “How was California?”
His abruptness at the question caught me off guard. “Okay.” I turned my head; resting my check on his chest, I felt the steady rise and fall with each breath. “Mom and Aunt Tennie drank most of the time, so I pretty much had to fend for myself. School was horrible. My Southern accent didn’t fly well with the kids, so I continued to immerse myself in books.”
“Is that why you started writing?”
Looking at him I smiled. “I just started one day. It was kinda crazy actually.”
“Why’s that?” I couldn’t help but be touched that he wanted to learn more about my writing.
“I didn’t have normal stories running through my head. Mine were adventurous and sexy. Then they began to have a life of their own. I didn’t know what to do with them. I sat on them, tucking them away in my drawer. I didn’t start pulling them out until college. Then I showed them to a professor of mine who encouraged me to put them out there.”
“Where did you go to college?” Deke’s fingers pulled gently through my hair.
“USC. I got in on a lot of scholarships that my high school counselor helped me apply for. I took classes year round and graduated in four years.”
“Good for you.” His arm squeezed me tight, and I relished in his embrace.
“What about you? What did you do after high school?” I asked, knowing he didn’t go to college, at least from what the girls told me.
“I went to the academy. After my mom overdosed, I wanted to find the fucker who gave her the drugs. So I thought it would be the best way.” I turned my head so I could see him, but stared at the ceiling.
“You did it just for that?”
“Yep.” The void of emotion coming from him was almost scary.
“How’d that work?” I was quite surprised that a man would go through all that training just to hunt down one man.
“Found him, beat him up, almost killing him with my bare hands. My partner had to drag me off of him. He’s the reason I’m now undercover.” Deke said it so flippantly that it didn’t seem to bother him.
“Wow.” I couldn’t help but be a bit stunned. I’d never seen this side of him.
“I’ll take him out, but first I have to find the boss. Once I cut him off at the balls, then I’ll take the asshole out.” I lay there, still not knowing what to say. Fear ripped through me at what could happen to him. I’d never thought about the danger before this moment. “It’ll happen, hopefully sooner rather than later,” he continued.
“Then what will you do?” My curiosity peaked.
“Don’t know yet. I love my bar, so probably just that.”
“Why did you start Sully’s?” I happened to love the fact he named it after himself.
Deke turned to face me, the spark back into his eyes. It was a relief. I didn’t like that void. “Dad wanted me to come work for him and go to college after I lost my job, but there was no way I was gonna be cooped up with him any longer than absolutely necessary. I needed a cover, always wanted to have a bar, so I did it. It worked out well.”
“What about the band?”
“That’s just for fun.”
“I didn’t know you played.”
“I played when I was a kid, stopped for quite a while, but after Mom died and you were gone, I needed to do something besides punching everything at the gym. I got out my old guitar and started playing.”
“You looked hot up there.” I smiled remembering the way his muscles flexed as the lights shined down on him. I moved off him to lay my head on the pillow, facing him.
“I did, huh?” He smirked, making my panties wet.
I moved to straddle his hips. Looking down at him, he was still the most gorgeous man I’d ever laid eyes on. His strong face and sparkling blue eyes sucked me in. “Yeah. You did.”
Laying my body down on top of his, I began kissing him. It only took him a second to begin to kiss me back. Our tongues danced back and forth, entwining and caressing. My hands began to roam his beautiful chest, and I needed to explore.
Venturing down, I began kissing, sucking, and nipping his neck and pecs—his body was incredible. Moving my tongue flat along his nipple, I heard him groan. The power I felt from that one noise was amazing and caused me to push forward.
As I moved to the other side, I crossed over the key he had hanging from his neck. “Where’d you get this?”
“God, that feels good,” he groaned. Feeling that power surge again, I went back to work kissing and nipping his body. Finding my way down to his abs, I licked each one individually, paying special attention to his light dusting of a treasure trail down the center.
As my hands went into his waistband, Deke grabbed me under my shoulder hoisting me up. “Ahh …”
“Get up here and kiss me.” Deke entwined his hands in my hair, pulling me to him hard. We kissed and kissed as if our lives depended on it.
Involuntarily, my body began rocking on his. My clit rubbed repeatedly on his hard cock still covered by his jeans. I couldn’t stop moving as my body was lit on the verge of exploding, my need growing.
Breaking away for breath, I said, “I need you, Deke.”
“I need you, too, but I’m not having sex with you.”
My body instantly froze. “What?”
“I want to prove to you that you’re not my plaything … that I’m yours.”
I stared down at him, tears welling in my eyes. “Vann, I want to watch you come.”
I crashed my lips against his, trying to convey to him every emotion that was coursing through my veins, hoping he was feeling it, too. My body started grinding against his again, pulsating through me. Deke’s hands fell to my hips as he helped grind my body on his, taking me further than I could have gone myself.
There was no stopping the lightning crash that flew through my body enveloping me into a world of euphoria. I smashed my body onto Deke’s, laying my head on his chest. His heart was beating so fast like it wanted to jump out and take off.
As my senses came back, I felt Deke’s hard erection between my legs. I started to get up to rectify the problem, but was immediately pulled back down to his body, his arms wrapping around my mine tightly, holding me in place. “What are you doing?”
“Holding you,” he teased.
“I can feel you.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
“I can help relieve it,” I said, stunned he really didn’t want me to help him.
“I know, but not now. Let me hold you.”
“Is this part of the me not being a toy thing?”
“Yep. Lay down.”
Lying back down, I listened as his heartbeat slowed, but his cock was still hard as steel. I didn’t attempt to help him. I rather enjoyed where I was.
A loud banging came from the door. As I sat up, still straddling Deke, the door flew open.
“Savannah Marie!” My Grams’s voice flowed through the room. I immediately jumped off the bed, righting my clothes on my body. Being caught at twenty-two was just about as bad as being caught at seventeen.
“Grams, what are you doing here?” I screeched.
Glancing over at Deke, I wanted to wipe the smile off his face. I didn’t know what the hell he found so damn amusing. Deke lay on my bed, shirt off, legs spread out, but crossed at the ankle. Yes, I was a grown-ass woman, but this was still Grams!
“I had to hear at the store from Grace what happened to you?” The disappointment and anger in Grams’s voice was enough to send me to my knees. I never wanted that.
“I’m sorry, Grams. I’ve been dealing with some stuff,” I said, ashamed.
“I know, but you should have called.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I hung my head.
“Son, can you give us a few minutes?” Grams pinned Deke with her stare.
“Absolutely, ma’am,” he said, climbing off the bed, wrapping his arms around my body and kissing my temple. “I’ll be in the living room,” he whispered in my ear.
Nodding, he turned to walk out the door. My eyes focused on his sculpted back, but noticed another tattoo that I hadn’t seen before. It looked like a puzzle piece that had been carved out of his body exposing muscle underneath, a small drop of blood hanging off the end. I needed to make sure to ask him about it.
14Vann
“Grams, I’m sorry.” I rushed into her open arms, and she hugged me tightly.
“Why didn’t you tell me this was going on, baby girl?” Grams’s hand rubbed up and down my back rhythmically.
“I didn’t want to worry you,” I whispered.
“Nonsense. We both know your momma ain’t gonna help ya. You need to come to me.” Grams pulled away and stared at me. It was like I was five years old all over again.
“I’m sorry.” Tears I thought were dried up sprung out of my eyes and fell down my cheeks.
“Now. Now. Let’s sit.” Grams led me over to the bed, pulling the comforter up over the sheets. “I don’t want to sit in that.”
“Grams!” I yelled and couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped.
“Truth. Anyway talk.” Grams was always no nonsense, which was why I loved her so much. I let everything spill out of me as if it were something bad I ate, telling her every last detail, barely taking breaths as I went.
Grams wrapped her hands around mine and squeezed tight. “Okay. So what’s next?”
“I don’t know.” I didn’t know anything at the moment. Everything was happening so fast that it was all jumbled. I had a hard time putting words to any of it.
“No clue who this guy is?”
“No. Just fake names. Nothing real.” The tears began falling harder. I never thought having this career would lead to someone actually wanting to hurt me. The few ‘gifts’ were nothing harmful, but having someone actually want to rape me was hard to take.
“Deke gonna stay with you?” Grams asked as if she already knew the answer to the question.
My eyes shot to hers in surprise. “He wants me to stay with him. We haven’t really talked about it any further.”
“It’s good. You go with him. He’ll take care of you.”
“You’re not freaked out to see me with him?” I knew I talked a lot about Deke over the years, but to actually be with him now when I just got home was a little quick to the punch.
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