We Were Us (14 page)

“I ran into the mayor again. He was forceful with me and threatened me.”

“Did he touch you?” Josh grabbed my arm and looked me over. His eyes had grown dark and anger played across his face.

“Yes.” I looked down at my bare feet. “He grabbed the back of my shirt and held me against him while he threatened me.”

He lifted my chin so I had to look at his face.

“What did he say?” His voice was flat and hard. He was serious.

“He said that I needed to hand over the drugs or someone would get hurt. Actually, he said ‘Get me what’s mine and no one will get hurt.’” I sighed before continuing. “He said that I couldn’t really call the police because no one would believe me.”

It was Josh’s turn to sigh. “He’s probably right. We have no proof of his involvement in any of this.”

“I know.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Josh and I were sitting on the couch staring mindlessly at the TV. I’d had the bright idea to introduce him to the Lord of the Rings, but neither of us had the mindset to actually pay attention to the movie. We both knew why he was here. Ever since our ‘river event’ as I liked to think of it, we haven’t been able to hang out like we used to. Last night I tried just watching a TV show but I was so distracted by, well, everything about him, I didn’t remember what we watched. We ended up making out on the couch for two hours.

The next night was the same way. We were in our usual position, I seated at one end of the couch with his head in my lap, and his body stretched out over the length of the couch. Josh wasn’t watching the movie at all. He was either staring intently at me, distracting me, or his eyes were closed like he was trying to think of what to say or do to me next. I was about to shut off the movie and say something to him, but he beat me too it.

“Jenna,” Josh said.

“Yeah,” I whispered back. I’m not sure why I whispered.

“What are we doing?”

“Watching a movie?” I offered.

“No I mean us. What are we doing?”

“Spending time together?” Every answer came out like a question.

“What else?”

“What do you mean?”

“Where are we going?”

I had been waiting for this conversation. I hadn’t kept my feelings about staying here long term a secret. He knew I was going to leave at the end of the summer. But neither of us had denied strong feelings for each other, and our admission of love had me questioning everything at this point.

“You tell me.”

“Well you’re leaving at the end of the summer and might not be coming back,”

I thought about this. He was right. I wasn’t sure what my plans were for next summer. What if I had a job, or needed to take summer classes? What if my mom got out of jail?

“I don’t really have any plans. I could come back. It depends on a lot of things,”

Josh popped up off my lap leaving my hands empty. His hair was slicked to one side where I’d brushed it back and stuck out at odd ends on the other side where his head had been against my lap.

“Jenna, I’m in love with you. I want you for more than the summer. Can’t you give me that?”

“Like quit school?”

“No, I would never ask that of you. But would you move here if I waited for you?”

Words left me. My mouth hung open and my eyes went blank. Josh had just told me he’d wait for me. Weren’t girls supposed to be the ones to go all gooey eyed and wait for their man to make a decision? I just didn’t know what to say.

“Um, I don’t know Josh. That’s a huge step to think about,” I said, finally.

“Why?” he asked.

“I want to finish school. And you know my history with this town. I don’t want to live here,”

“Where do you want to live?”

“I hadn’t really thought about that,” I said.

“Then think about here,”

“Why can’t you think about living somewhere else?” he said after a brief pause.

“I can’t leave my mom here alone,” he scoffed

“She’s a grown woman; I think she’ll be fine.”

“We’re all each other has.”

“I don’t want to live here for the rest of my life Josh.”

I’d all but made up my mind. Small town living wasn’t for me. I wasn’t one to sit at home all day while my husband worked the fields. I wanted to be a guidance counselor in a school, and with only one school system in this area, there wasn’t much of a place for me.

We sat in silence for a while. I wasn’t sure if we were done talking and if I could resume watching the movie. Josh had to be lost since we hadn’t been paying much attention to it.

“What if I came with you after the summer was over?” he said.

“What about your mom?” I questioned.

“I don’t know. I never thought I could leave her, but now I’m thinking about it.”

“What about your job?”

Josh sat up quickly and stared at me. His mouth was set in a hard line.

“You are making a lot of excuses as to why we shouldn’t be together in the future Jenna.”

He was right, but I didn’t want to be stuck in a town where no one liked me and where I wasn’t wanted. I didn’t want to take him away from his mom either. I didn’t know what to say, so I just stared back at him and kept my thoughts to myself.

“Why are you staring at me?” Josh asked interrupting my thoughts.

“Umm…” My phone rang at that moment. Really? I glanced at the caller ID. If Andrew ever had perfect timing, it was now. I ignored it. It wasn’t a good time.

“Who was that?” Josh asked. He looked at me sideways like he knew who was calling me.

“No one,” I lied.

“Boyfriend from college?” This was the first time Andrew had called while I was with Josh. Josh and I hadn’t even talked about the possibility of me having a relationship in Brookhaven. Actually, we hadn’t even talked about Brookhaven at all until now.

I looked down at the phone in my hands, not saying anything. I heard Josh sigh and shift on the couch away from me.

“So you have a boyfriend?” I really didn’t want to answer this. So I leaned over to him and kissed him instead.

“There are way funner things we could be doing with our mouths than talking,” I said between kisses.

“Is funner a word?”

“Stop talking,” I said and pushed him on the couch. “This couch needs more action, its ugly,”

I straddled Josh’s lap and allowed him to remove my shirt. I took his off too. We stared at each other for a moment but before my conscious mind could take over, he devoured me with a kiss. Josh’s hands traveled up my back and unhooked with my bra strap. Andrew was all but forgotten until my phone rang again.

“Do you need to get that?” Josh said. He was irritated. He gently pushed me off of his lap and back onto the couch.

“Um, no. No I don’t.”

I turned my phone to vibrate and threw in on the floor but it immediately started ringing again.

“Seriously just answer your phone.”

I snatched it up off the floor where it had fallen.

“It stopped.” It started again. Damn it. Josh just looks at me and waved his hand at me.

“Hello?” I said a little exasperated.

“Jenna! What are you doing?” It was Andrew, he always seemed to call at inopportune moments. Like right now while I was making out with Josh.

“I’m just hanging out, watching a movie,” I laughed nervously.

“That’s it?” He sounded like he didn’t believe me.

“Um, yeah. There isn’t much to do in this town,”

“I see,” he sounded as though he didn’t believe me.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Working.”

“That’s it?” I countered.

Andrew laughed. He had a great laugh. It was deep and smooth like the roll of a drum. The kind of laugh that when you heard it, you just couldn’t help but laugh along, or at least smile. “Yes Jen, that’s all. Summer is boring and you’re the only girl I have eyes for if that’s what you’re hinting at,”

“That’s not it at all.” I think my voice rose a couple of octaves, I hoped not because that would give everything away.

I didn’t know why I had been ignoring Andrew’s phone calls all summer. He really did call at bad times, and I felt weird talking to him in front of Josh.

“Okay,” he said after a beat “well I was worried some studly farm boy had stolen your heart” I glanced over at Josh with that comment. Had Josh stolen my heart?

Nervous laughter again.

“Yeah, well I have to go, it’s late. I’ll call you later,” I said too quickly.

“But wait we just started talking.” I could tell he was getting a little suspicious.

“Yeah well, I’m just busy,”

“Busy doing what?”

“Watching a movie?” I obviously wasn’t busy. “Haven’t we already established that?”

I looked at Josh again and he had his arms folded across his chest, his eyes squinted at me questioningly. I looked away from him and down at my feet.

“I see.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah,” he repeated.

“Well, have a good rest of the summer,” I said

“Yeah, you too,” he said and with that, I hung up.

I dropped my arms to my side and released the breath I didn’t even know I was holding. I turned back to Josh; he sat upright on the couch with his arms folded and raised his eyebrows at me. We just stared at each other for a moment

“I should go,” he said finally and made to get up off the couch.

“Wait, you don’t have to leave.” I rushed over to him and pushed him back on the couch and sat next to him. “Don’t go.”

“Who was that on the phone?” he asked like he was accusing me of some heinous crime.

I sighed. I had done a lot of sighing.

“It’s no one you need to worry about.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to divulge into who Andrew was and what he meant to me.

“Okay,” he said simply, but he looked past me and squared his jaw. I wanted to know what he was thinking.

Josh stood up from the couch and threw his shirt back on. He walked past me to the door handing me mine along the way. I followed him.

“Where are you going?” I thought we had established that I wanted him to stay.

“The phone call was kind of a mood killer. I should just go. I have to work tomorrow anyway.”

“Josh,” I whined.

“Jenna, I made my feelings for you clear the other day at the river, and I thought you did too, but now I’m not so sure. You need to figure things out.”

“Okay. Yeah.” I did nothing to hide my disappointment.

“I’ll see you tomorrow though, okay?” he said and leaned in to kiss my cheek.

“For what?”

“I don’t know,” He whispered in my ear when he hugged me. I smiled.

“I love you,” I said before I kissed him long and slow so he had to hold my face and wrap his arm around me. Mixed feelings raced through my mind. I’d fallen for Josh, hard, but there was Andrew. I needed to figure out what was going to happen between us when I went back to school.

A small knock on the screen door startled both of us. Lauren stood on my porch bathed in the dim yellow light of the porch light holding a casserole dish.

“Hi Lauren.” My voice came out several octaves above my normal range.

“Lauren,” Josh said coolly and opened the door for her. What the hell was he doing? I didn’t want her in here especially after we’d just almost had sex on the couch.

“I…uh…my mom made you this because she was worried you were eating only peanut butter and jelly. I told her you did not have a lot of food in the house after I stayed at your house, so she made a lasagna and some kind of beef casserole. I just wanted to drop it off,” she said quickly not looking at either of us.

“Thanks, Lauren,” I said and grabbed the two dishes from her.

“You’re welcome,” she said, still not looking at me.

The silence was deafeningly awkward. We all shifted from one foot to the other and back again.

“Well I should go,” Josh said finally, his voice was really loud and obnoxious. He left quickly without another word and all but sprinted to his truck. The tires squealed as he sped away. Geez.

“So you and Josh,” Lauren squeaked.

“Yeah,” I said sheepishly.

“I wonder what Michelle would think.”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her.”

“You haven’t?” Lauren looked appalled.

“No,” I looked away from her. Her reaction bothered me. I looked back at Lauren again. She had her lips pursed together like she really wanted to say something but was debating whether or not to tell me. Knowing Lauren, this was an extremely difficult feat.

“What is it Lauren?” I coaxed. I was usually good at getting things out of people.

At the sound of my voice, she snapped out of her internal dilemma and stalked to the door.

“You’ll just have to ask Josh about this one” And she left without another word. I’m sure her tires would have squealed too if she’d been a less cautious driver.

Two people had left my house in an uncomfortable rush and I was left here alone and confused. Why did it even matter what Michelle thought? She had to know I was here. She’d made no effort to come see me. I guess I haven’t gone up to see her either though. We’re both bad friends. I think she should make the first move though. I didn’t have any real logic behind it other than it should just be that way because it’s less awkward for me.

My phone pinged at me, notifying me of a text message. It was Andrew again. I rolled my eyes before answering it.

we need to talk about what just happened