Oh, shit.
Chapter Fourteen
Getting kicked out of the mall was not one of my finer moments. Dinged my ego a bit more when they had to call my mom. Something about me being a minor. Whatever.
“You’re going to have to explain this to me, Sebastian. I get called out of work because you were screaming in the middle of the mall? What’s gotten into you?” My mom asked, crossing her arms in pissed-off mom mode while we stood by her car in the parking lot.
Love. Girls. Insanity.
I had quite a few words I could throw at Mom about what had gotten into me, but I settled on trying to smooth things over. “It’s not that big a deal, Ma. You know how mall cops are. He just wanted to flex his muscles.”
Her eyes narrowed and I’m not afraid to admit it, my heart rate kicked up. This was beyond mad, into irate territory.
“This isn’t a joke! I had to cancel a class to come and get you. They said you were yelling at a girl? I raised you better than that, Sebastian.”
Yeah, she had. If there was one thing she always told me it was to respect girls and what had I done? Yelled at Aspen. My best friend. In the middle of the mall. How had things gotten so royally messed up? But it wasn’t my fault. I’d been trying to do exactly what my mom taught me to do and that was to not hurt a girl. “I know. I’m sorry. It was a misunderstanding.”
“It was my fault. I started it.” I looked over my shoulder at Crystal who had been giving us some space. “I was having a bad day and took it out on Sebastian. I didn’t mean to get us in any trouble.”
I closed my mouth so the shock wouldn’t show. This girl was totally saving my butt. “See, Ma? We’ve made up.” I looked at Crystal. “But it wasn’t your fault. I’m sure I deserve some of the credit for this.” I put my arm around her so it would look like we’d been the ones fighting and now we were all peachy. Mom sighed.
“I don’t like this, but I have to get back to work. I don’t want something like this happening again, Sebastian.” She looked at Crystal, then me, then Crystal.
Oh! “So, sorry for yelling at you.” I kicked at the ground. I hated apologizing for stuff I
did
. Saying sorry for something I didn’t do sucked even worse.
“No harm, no foul,” she replied.
“Come on. I need to drop you off at home before I go back into work,” Mom told me. Crystal piped up next and offered a ride, which my mom reluctantly agreed to after telling me she wanted me not to leave the house for the rest of the day.
When we were locked away in Crystal’s car, I turned to thank her, but she cut me off. “Don’t even think about saying thank you. What the hell did you pull in there?”
Oops. Looked like I traded in pissed off mom for another angry girl. “I don’t know! It was a reflex.”
“It was a pretty stupid one! I mean, I get you not trusting that guy since he was definitely calling my cousin this weekend to try and get in her pants.” My whole body froze up. I knew I didn’t trust that guy! Why did I break up with her just so some other guy could play games with her? I’d meant to save her pain, not make her prey for someone else. “I guess it could be different with them. It’s obvious she likes him.” It was obvious she liked him? I didn’t see that. Or maybe I just didn’t
want
to see it. She was supposed to like me, not that jerk.
Oblivious to my mixed-up thoughts, Crystal kept talking, “None of that really matters though. Do you not know girls at all?”
With that one little question, a light bulb went off in my head. I
did
know girls. When it came to the opposite sex, I knew how to get what I wanted. I was The Hook-up Doctor, right? And yeah, I know I’d just broken up with her, but I did it for her own good and Mattie wouldn’t play by those rules. He’d hurt her, so really, if I put a plan in action to get her back, I’d be doing it for her own good. But then, what about the rest of it? I’d gotten more proof love didn’t work since Mom’s ex-putz broke up with her, but really this was more about saving Aspen than my love for her. Okay, so I was probably a little delusional with that one, because the pain in my chest when I saw her with him devastated me, but saving her from Mattie playing her was worth it.
Plus, I hated losing. I couldn’t stand the thought of him with her not just because I loved her, but because I hated him. Did that make me a jerk? Probably, but there wasn’t much I could do about that. This was it. I was doing this for Aspen’s own good. “Hey. I need you to be my girlfriend.”
“What?!” Crystal jerked her car to the side of the road.
“Well, not really, but I want you to pretend to be with me. I need your help to win Aspen back.”
Crystal looked skeptical, shaking her head. “Not so sure that’s the right way to go about this, Sebastian.”
I laughed. If anyone knew how to get the girl, it was me. I wasn’t going to let Matt do to her what I was trying to save her from. “Trust me. I know what I’m doing.”
***
My hands were shaking.
Shaking.
Like I’d never gone out with a girl before. Of course I wasn’t really going out with this one, but it would look like it after tonight. It felt wrong, a heavy weight embedded itself in the pit of my stomach and I couldn’t get rid of it no matter what I did. I didn’t understand it. This should be a piece of cake. All I had to do was pretend I was over her. Play the whole nonchalance game I’d told so many girls to play in the past. Make it look like I’d moved on, so she would want me more. Hopefully, in the meantime, I could get something on Mattie, some kind of proof that he was an asshole before he had the chance to prove it by hurting Aspen. I doubted she would believe me if I told her Crystal said he tried to land her cousin.
Then I could swoop in and get the girl. I had no idea what I’d do with her once I had her, because I still didn’t trust the whole love thing.
It was all so easy. It
should
be easy, but instead it felt…wrong. Not the whole getting Mattie out of the picture thing or even the getting the girl thing, because I did still love her. I think if anything, seeing her with him made me realize I loved her even more than I thought I had, but something felt off and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was.
This had been the only time I liked the gossip of a small town. I heard through the grapevine that Pris and Aspen were going to be at the arcade tonight. All it took was one phone call to Jaden and he was game to go out. Crystal took a little more persuasion, but in the end, she agreed. I stood out front of my house waiting for her in a pair of blue jeans, black t-shirt and a blue button up shirt over it, left open.
I mumbled a “hi” to her when I got in the car, my stomach feeling like I imagined Aspen’s did the night she spewed all over my ex-lucky shirt. Aside from the directions I gave her, we were quiet the whole way there.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked after we parked. “If you are serious about her, you should just talk to her. I can’t tell you how much I wish Will would tell me he loved me.”
“Yeah,” I said quickly. “This will work.”
It has to work.
She shook her head as she opened the car door, but I stopped her. “You’re pretty cool for helping me out, Crystal. I appreciate it and if it counts for anything, I think Will is a dumbass.”
I let go of her and we both got out of the car. It would look more real if I held her hand, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. In the mall it had been an automatic reaction. I hadn’t really thought about it and now that I could--it might be weird--but it made me feel like I was cheating or something. I browsed the room with my eyes, not seeing Pris and Aspen, or Jaden who was supposed to meet me here. He was always late. We sat down next to each other in a booth.
“Did you tell your friend what’s going on with me?” Crystal asked.
I shook my head. “Nah. I haven’t even told him about Aspen yet. It’s not a big deal. I can explain it to him when he gets here.”
We sat there for a few more minutes, neither of us saying a word. My eyes were still searching out Aspen, my attention drawn to Crystal when she excused herself to go to the bathroom. As soon as she was gone, someone plopped down across from me. I expected it to be Jaden, but it was Paul, this other guy we went to school with. “Who’s the hottie?” he asked.
Hottie?
“Huh?”
“Um, the girl you’re sitting here with? She’s freaking gorgeous.”
It’s funny because I didn’t even notice. I mean, I knew she was pretty, but I was so distracted tonight, thinking about Aspen and wondering if Mattie would be with her, that I didn’t notice anything else. I felt a little stab of guilt. I’m sure she didn’t care if I noticed her that way. She still had feelings for her ex and she obviously knew I was wrapped up in Aspen, but I felt like a jerk because she
was
helping me. What if she did start getting the wrong idea? Holy, crap, what if there was more to the reason she’d agreed to this? I didn’t think so, but couldn’t be for sure. “She’s a friend,” I mumbled. Paul said something about me being lucky before leaving and Crystal sat back down.
“You look nice,” I told her, feeling obligated. I mean, she did look pretty, but again, it felt like I wasn’t being sincere because it wasn’t Aspen I was saying this to.
“Um…thanks?”
“I know I already thanked you, but I want to be sure you know I really do appreciate your help. And…” I felt like an idiot. “And Aspen, I do love her. I just didn’t want you to get--”
Her hysterical laughter cut me off.
“What’s so funny?” I was slightly annoyed.
Crystal held up her hand. “Believe me. You don’t have to do this, Sebastian. I’m not getting the wrong idea here. I’m really just trying to help. You’re cool, but I don’t see you like that.”
“Oh. Well, good.”
I’m a jackass.
“Am I interrupting?” Jaden stood at the end of the table, his arms crossed over his chest, his jaw locked.
“Nah, just wondering where you were,” I said waiting for him to sit down, but he didn’t. What was his problem? I looked over at Crystal and it clicked. “This is Crystal, not Abby.”
If anything my words seemed to make him madder. “She’s also not Aspen.”
“Hey. Chill out.” I got that he was a little confused, since I’d been feeling too sorry for myself to tell him everything that went down lately, but it also wasn’t fair to take it out on Crystal. “It’s not what you think, Jay.”
“Dude, you even said yourself Aspen and Pris were different. I thought for sure you weren’t stupid enough to blow her off.”
Now that pissed me off. “Me, stupid? Look at you! You’ve been doing this little dance around Pris forever. Why don’t you grow a pair and go for her instead of hanging out with me so I can get you girls?” Jaden’s face paled and I immediately regretted my words. This was my boy. We always had each other’s back and what I’d just said to him was messed up. “Dude, just let me explain. We’re not really--”
“I hung out with you because you were my friend, not for girls. I can get those on my own and apparently, you can too. So many you don’t know how to handle them all.” Jaden put his hands flat on the table and leaned toward me. “As for Pris? Not all of us can live in your fantasy Sebastian-land where we all get what we want. I may not have gone for her, but that’s because I knew I would screw it up. Just like you thought you had it under control, but all you did was mess it up. I’m done. You’re lucky you’re my boy because you have no idea how much I want to knock you out right now.” Jaden turned to leave.
It took me a minute to find my tongue. I was in shock, confused and a little pissed off. Not thinking, I stood. “Did you ever think she didn’t want me? Why does it have to be my fault?” I fell back into the seat, holding my head with both hands. What was going on here? Why had Jaden just freaked out on me without giving me a chance to explain?
“Sebastian, are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
No.
“Yeah. It’s under control. I just have to explain to Jaden what’s going on and he’ll understand. He’s probably just mad because I didn’t tell him.” I added that on the heaping pile of things that didn’t feel right. There was more to what Jaden said than I understood, but it wasn’t my fault. He was the one being all secretive and angry. It’s not like he wasn’t just as bad as me when it came to girls and this thing with Crystal wasn’t even real. “We’re sticking to the plan.”
I leaned back in the booth, my whole body wracked with tension. Crystal was quiet while I sat there with my eyes closed trying to figure everything out. I don’t know what made me open them when I did, but as they popped open I saw Aspen. She looked at Pris and smiled; man, I wished she was smiling at me like that. This weekend, when she’d looked at me, it felt like I was the king of the world, now when I pictured her, I only saw the look on her face when I told her it was over.