Read What to Expect the First Year Online
Authors: Heidi Murkoff
What to Expect the First Year (10 page)
Protocol for emergencies.
Emergencies happenâand as a soon-to-be parent you'll want to know how they're handled by a doctor you're considering. Some instruct parents to head to the ER for care in case of an emergency (though your insurance plan may require that you call the doctor first). Others ask you to call their office first and, depending on the nature of the illness or injury, will see your baby in the office or meet you at the ER. Some physicians are available (unless they're out of town) days, nights, and weekends for emergencies. Others use colleagues or partners to cover for them during off-hours, and some may refer you to Urgent Care as appropriate.
Financial matters.
Some offices ask that you make any necessary payments or co-payments at the time of a visit, others will issue a bill. Some will bill insurance for you or submit paperwork, others won't. Some offer an optional package deal for first-year care that covers any number of visits. Though the package
costs more than the sum of fees for the year's scheduled number of checkups, it's usually a good bet: Two or three sick visits, and you'll likely come out even or ahead (plus you'll stress less about the cost of extra appointments). Insurance reimbursements for sick visits, package deal or no, will be handled according to the terms of your coverage.
Payment schedules are also available in some offices, either routinely or under special circumstances, such as financial hardship. If you think you might need such an arrangement, discuss this with whoever is in charge of billing.
You might also want to ask whether routine lab work is done in the office, which can save time and money.
Practice styleâand personality.
When you're in the market for a doctor, as when you're shopping for baby furniture, the style that's right will depend on your style. Do you prefer a doctor who's laid-back and casual (maybe even a hugger)? Or one who's buttoned up (and in a dress shirt, at that)? One who's a kidder (even with parents) or one who's all business? A doctor who likes to call all the shots or one who treats you as a full-fledged partner in your little one's care?
No matter what your style in doctor styles, chances are you'll want to pick a pediatrician or family physician who's a good listener and a clear communicator, who's open to all questions and who's nonjudgmental, who's patient with little patients and their parents, and most of all, seems to really love caring for children ⦠which, of course, most baby doctors do.
Philosophy.
You won't agree with your baby's doctor on every topic, but it's best to find out up front (and before you make a commitment) whether you're mainly on the same page with major issues. To make sure your baby care philosophies mesh comfortably with those of the doctor who may be caring for your baby, ask about his or her positions on parenting topics or trends you might be interested in, from breastfeeding to circumcision, attachment parenting to co-sleeping, complementary and alternative medicine to immunizations.
Buying for Baby
You've probably been itching to belly up to the nearest baby superstore or online baby registry for months nowâmaybe even before you had a belly. After all, those too-cute onesies (is that a matching hat and socks?), cuddly stuffed animals, and magical mobiles are hard to resist. But between the slings, swings, and strollers, the cribs and car seats, the burping cloths and blankies, the bibs and booties, buying for baby can get a little overwhelming (make that head-spinning), not to mention credit-card-maxing. So before you start sliding that card (or clicking “register now”), be sure to read up on baby gear must-haves, nice-to-haves, and probably-don't-needs, so you can stock your little one's nursery without cluttering it upâand without cleaning out your bank account.
With so many products to buy and register for, you may be tempted just to grab a virtual shopping cart and get started. But before you proceed to checkout, check out these baby buying guidelines:
⢠Do your homework before you bring products home. Babies tend to bring out the impulse buyer in everyoneâbut especially in starry-eyed first-time expectant parents (and particularly in hormone-hazy moms-to-be). To avoid buyer's remorse (when you realize that a newborn's bottom is warm enough without prewarmed wipes or that 41 newborn onesies were probably 31 too many or that you didn't really need Hollywood's favorite jogging stroller when you don't ever plan on jogging in Hollywoodâor anywhere), think and link before you buy. Read online reviews, do comparison shopping, and tap into your most in-the-know network, other parentsâincluding those on
WhatToExpect.com
. They'll tell you like it is, and isn't, when it comes to much-hyped and high-priced products and product features.
⢠Shop for the right registry (or registries). Before you narrow down your layette list, narrow down the list of stores where you'll be buying or registering for most of those goodies. Consider return policies (because you may end up with too much of a good thingâor find that some good things aren't so good after all), restocking charges, whether purchases and exchanges can be made both online and in stores, and convenience (is there a brick-and-mortar store close to you and most of your friends and family?). But also ask aroundâyour message board and Facebook buddies who've shopped this way before will be your best registry resources (or even have lists of their own must-haves they've sharedâcheck out the “Love-it Lists” at
whattoexpect.com/loveit
. Though you may not be able to find one-stop shopping for all your baby needs, try to keep your registries down to a reasonable two or three by looking for sites or stores that carry most of what you're signing up for.
⢠Shop for baby in baby steps. Start with newborn needs (that will be plenty). Hold off buying gear you won't need until later in your baby's first year, when you'll better know your needs and your little one's. (Though, consider registering for big ticket items anyway, even if you won't need them right awayâespecially if you're hoping friends and family will step up to the plate ⦠and the high chair.) Decided to play the baby gender guessing game? Some stores will allow you to order your layette and not pick it up or have it delivered until after the baby is bornâat which time you can specify the colors and patterns to make a more gender-specific statement, if you're not a fan of neutral shades. But also remember, there's no layette law that says girls can't wear blue overalls and boys pink polosâor that a girl's nursery can't reach for the stars (and planets) and a boy's can't feature bunnies.
⢠Be a baby-stuff borrower. You're bringing home your own baby, of course, but that doesn't mean you can't bring home some of your friend's baby stuff. Or your cousin's. Or your sister's. Since babies need so much stuff (or really, parents need so much stuff to care for their babies), it makes senseâand saves dollarsâto borrow what you can. All of the gear that really gets used will soon have a lived-in (or grown-out) look anyway, whether you borrow or buy new (that's definitely true of clothes). Just keep in mind that safety regulations change and that you should check out any product for recalls or features that don't meet current standards. A car seat is one item that's definitely safest bought brand new.
Ready to lay out a bundle for your little bundle's layette and nursery? It's true that your tiny babyâwho will arrive in the world equipped with nothing but a birthday suitâwill be a whole lot more high-maintenance in the next 12 months than he or she was in the past 9. But before you get overwhelmed by the lists of clothes, supplies, gear, and furniture that follow, remember they're just meant to guide you. Don't feel compelled to buy (or borrow) everything on these lists, or everything on any registry or layette listâcertainly not all at once. Your baby's needs (and yours) will be unique and ever evolving (just like you and your baby).
The best thing about shopping for baby clothes: They're so cute. The worst thing about shopping for baby clothes: They're so cute. Before you know it, you've bought out the store (and then another store, and another store), and the nursery closet is jam-packed and the dresser drawers won't close. And your baby has outgrown half of those oh-so-precious purchases before you even had a chance to unfold them for the first time. To avoid buy, buy, buying too much for baby, keep these practical pointers in mind as you finalize your layette list and head to the store or enter that portal:
⢠Babies don't mind wearing hand-me-downs. Fast-forward 7 or 8 years, and hand-me-down clothes may be a much tougher sellâbut fashion ignorance is bliss for babies. Even if you're a stickler for style, you'll appreciate having even less-than-styling onesies and rompers standing by for those days when spit-up reigns, diapers leak ⦠and the washer's on the blink. Those hand-me-downs are a little worse for wear? That's okayâthe same will be true of the new clothes you're shelling out those big bucks for by the second time baby wears them. So before you shoot down all those offers you may be lucky enough to get, consider just saying yes instead. And don't forget to check off items borrowed or handed down before finalizing your list.
⢠Laundry has a way of piling up. When calculating your needs, consider how many times a week you'll be doing laundry. If you'll be doing loads just about every day, you can buy the smallest suggested number of items on the listâand that goes for cloth diapers, too. If you'll have to lug loads down to the local Suds 'n Spin and can do laundry only weekly, then buy the largest number.
⢠Convenience and comfort come first, cuteness second (really). Tiny buttons may be way too precious for words, but the struggle to fasten them when baby's squirming up a storm won't be. An organdy party dress may look festive on the hanger, but the party may be over if it rubs baby's delicate skin the wrong way. An imported sailor suit may look dashingâthat is, until you try to change your little matey and find there's no access to the poop deck. And baby skinny jeans? Well, enough said.
So, resist the irresistible (and impractical, unwashable, and unwearable) and remember that babies are happiest when they're comfiest, and parents are happiest when dressing baby is a dream, not a drag. With this in mind, look for outfits made of soft, easy-care fabrics, with snaps instead of buttons (inconvenient, and should baby manage to chew or pry one off, unsafe), head openings that are roomy (or have snaps at the neck), and bottoms that open conveniently for diaper changing. Feel underneath to make sure seams are smooth, too. Room for growth is another important feature: Adjustable shoulder straps, stretch fabrics, and elasticized waistlines will come in handy. Shop for safety, alsoâno strings or ribbons longer than 6 inches.
⢠Shopping up is smart. Since newborns don't stay newborn size very long (some babies have grown out of newborn sizes before they're born), don't stock up on small sizes unless your baby is predicted petite. It's always more practical to roll up sleeves and pants legs for a few weeks while your little one grows into a size 6 months. In general, shop at least one size ahead (most 6-month-old babies wear 9- or 12-month sizes, and some even fill out 18-month sizes), but eyeball before buying, because some styles (particularly imported ones) can run much larger or smaller than average. When in doubt, buy big, keeping this in mind: Children grow and (cotton) clothes shrink.
⢠Seasons change. If baby is expected on the cusp of a season, buy just a few tiny items for the immediate weather and larger ones for the weather expected in the months ahead. Continue to consider the seasons as baby growsâand do the season math when buying ahead. That adorable August-perfect tank top at half price may seem like a total dealâuntil you realize that your fall baby will have outgrown it long before spring's thaw.
⢠No tags, and you're (keeping) it. Of course, you're eager to unpack all that new baby booty into your baby's new dresser. But try to resist. It's actually best to keep most of your newborn's clothes tagged or in their original packages (with all receipts). That way, if baby checks in much larger or much tinier than expected (it happens)âor even a different gender than anticipated (ditto)âyou can exchange for bigger or smaller sizes or a different color or pattern.
By far the most fun you'll have preparing for baby will be shopping for those itty-bitty, crazy-cute clothes. In fact, it may take considerable reserves of willpower to keep yourself from overfilling your baby's closet with too many adorable outfits. Just keep in mindâless is usually more than enough, especially when it comes to small sizes, since newborns grow fast.
Undershirts, onesies (aka creepers, bodysuits).
For your newborn, your best bets are undershirts (short or long sleeved, depending on the weather) that open in the front, with snaps on the sides. These are easier to get on that floppy frame in the first few weeks, and until your baby's umbilical stump falls off, it's better not to have tight clothes rubbing against it. Another option: a onesie with a specially designed opening at the navel to expose the stump to air and prevent rubbing. Once the stump does fall off, you can switch to the pullover onesie style, which is smoother and more comfortable for baby. These one-piece bodysuits (also called creepers) have snap openings on the bottom for easy diaper access and don't ride up, keeping tummies covered in cool weather. Look for a wide opening at the neck for easy on, easy off. Once style starts to matter more, you can graduate to bodysuits that look more like shirts (long or short sleeved), made to be worn under pants, skirts, or leggings. For now, consider buying 5 to 10 undershirts (newborn size) and 7 to 10 onesies.
Stretchies with feet.
Footed outfits keep tootsies toasty without socks, making them especially practical (as you'll soon find out, socks and bootiesâcute as they areârarely stay put for long). Make sure they have snaps or zippers at the crotch for easy access to baby's bottom, which you'll be visiting quite often. Otherwise, you'll be undressing and redressing at every diaper change. You may find that zippers have the edge, since they'll save you the frustration of trying to line up all those little snaps when you're sleep-deprived or in a rush, or baby's crying for a feed. Consider buying around 7 footed stretchies.