What to Expect the First Year (8 page)
Read What to Expect the First Year Online
Authors: Heidi Murkoff
Already have a baby in the houseâthe kind with four legs and a tail? Then you're probably wondering how your dog or cat will react when you bring home a baby of a different kind (the human kind)âa tiny, noisy, and intrusive intruder who will soon be sharing a place in your heart and on your lap, and possibly taking your pet's place in your bed or bedroom. Though some initial mopingâand even some regression in the house-training departmentâmay be inevitable, you'll want to prevent all the fur sibling rivalry you can, especially unexpectedly aggressive reactions. Here's how to prepare your pet:
⢠Consider basic training. Is your home your pet's castleâand amusement park? It's time for rules to rule your roost, even when it comes to your furry friend (and even if life has so far been a fun-filled free-for-all for Spot or Mittens). Living with consistent expectations will help your pet feel more secure and act more predictably, especially around your predictably unpredictable baby. Even a pet who's always been more frisky than ferocious, who's never threatened or felt threatened by a human, may become uncharacteristically aggressive and dangerously territorial when your home is invaded by a human newborn. Consider enrolling your pet in an obedience training program (yes, cats can be trained, too)âand remember, for your pet to be trained, you have to be, too. Attend classes with your pet, take homework seriously (practice, practice, practice what's learned in class), and continue to be consistent about rules and rewards (key to the success of pet training) even after graduation.
⢠Schedule a checkup. Visit the veterinarian for an exam, and make sure that all shots are up-to-date. Discuss any concerning behavior issues (like marking) and possible solutions with the veterinarian, too, and evaluate flea and heartworm prevention for safety around your expected human bundle. Just before baby is due to arrive, have your pet's nails trimmed. Consider spaying or neutering, which can make pets calmer and less aggressive.
⢠Bring in the babes. Try to get your dog or cat acclimated to babies by arranging carefully supervised encounters (with a baby at the park, with your friend's newborn). Invite friends with babies over to your house so your pet can become familiar with human baby smells and their moves. Do some baby holding around your pet, too.
⢠Play pretend. Using a baby-size doll as a prop will help get your pet used to having a baby around the house (pretend rock, feed, change, play with the doll, strap it into the car seat and stroller). Play audio of a newborn crying, cooing, and making other baby sounds, tooâand (if you've already stocked the house with baby paraphernalia) turn on the infant swing, to accustom your pet to the sound and action (with that doll strapped in). And as you close in on the delivery day, start getting your pet used to scents of baby products you'll be using on baby's skin by applying it to yours (baby wipes, baby wash), and allow sniffing of clean diapers. During these desensitizing sessions, reward your pet with treats and cuddles.
⢠Don't give your pet any ideas. While it might seem smart to let your pet snuggle in your expected baby's bassinet or car seat or play with those piles of new stuffed animals, it isn't. That approach can lead your fur baby to believe that those items are his or hersâand set up territorial disputes (potentially risky ones).
⢠Taper off on time with your pet. It sounds a little mean, but getting your dog or cat used to less mommy and daddy attention now may prevent sibling rivalry later. If mama is your pet's favorite, start weaning onto more time with daddy.
⢠Do some belly bonding. Many dogs and cats seem to have an uncanny baby sixth sense, so if yours is clamoring to cuddle up with your bare bump, let the bonding between baby and pet begin. By the way, even a large dog can't harm your well-protected baby by nestling against your belly.
⢠Get on board with room and board changes. If sleeping arrangements will change (and they probably should if you've been co-sleeping with your pet), change them well before delivery. If your baby will have a separate room, train your pet to stay out of it while you're not there. A gate to block the doorway will help discourage unsolicited visits. Also, train your pet not to go near the baby's crib, no matter what room the crib is in. Another must-do: Move your pet's feeding station somewhere a curious crawler can't get to, since even a mellow mutt or kitty can attack when food is threatened. Two more reasons why babies and pet food don't mix: Kibble and treats are a choking hazard (and a tempting one), and both food and bowls (including water bowls) can become contaminated with dangerous bacteria, like salmonella. Cat litter should also be kept in a baby-free zone, and if that will require a change of place, make the move now. In general, cats and dogs should have a “safe” space (which could be a room or a crate) where they can retreat for a respite from baby.
⢠Sniff out jealousy. After delivery, but before you introduce your new baby to your fur baby, bring in an unwashed piece of clothing your newborn has worn (baby's nursery beanie, for instance) and encourage sniffing. Bring on the hugs and treats so that the scent becomes a happy association. When you bring baby home, greet your pet firstâand then let the meet-and-greet (including sniffing of your well-swaddled, well-protected newborn) begin. Reward that first sniff with praise, a treat, and a pat for your pet. Try to stay calm and avoid scolding.
⢠Include the furry new big sib. Scratch your cat while you nurse. Take your dog on especially long walks with baby in tow. Reward gentle behavior around the baby with treats.
⢠Be protective, but not overprotective. Allow supervised visits of baby spaces and supervised sniffing of baby and baby's thingsâprotecting your baby from suddenly snappish behavior but without setting off jealous stress signals that could trigger aggression.
⢠Don't take any chances. If your pet seems hostile toward the new arrival, keep the two safely separated until those feelings have been worked out.
For more tips on prepping your pet, go to
whattoexpect.com/pet-intro
.
Feel like you've practically been living at your ob's office (or on the phone with the ob's office) over the 9 months of pregnancy? Well, that's nothing, babyâat least, nothing compared with the time you'll spend with your baby's doctor (or on the phone or email with your baby's doctor) over the next year. Even the healthiest baby needs a lot of health careâfrom well-baby checkups to regular immunizations. Factor in those inevitable first sniffles and tummy aches, and you'll see why your baby's doctor will play such an important role in your little one's first yearâand in your first year as a parent.
And beyond ⦠potentially, way beyond. After all, the doctor you choose could be seeing babyâand youâthrough some 18 years of runny noses, earaches, sore throats, upset stomachs, bumps and bruises, and more. You won't be living with your baby's doctor during those years (though there will be times, particularly nights and weekends, when you'll wish you were), but you'll still want him or her to be someone you feel comfortable and compatible withâsomeone you'd feel at ease asking questions that aren't easy, someone who's equally patient with both tiny patients and their nervous parents.
Still looking for Baby Doctor Right? Start your search here.
Think health insurance is complicated and expensive? Get ready for about eight more pounds of complications and expense. If you're already covered under a family plan, adding your new bundle is as easy as making a phone call once baby is born (just don't forget to make that call, since coverage for baby doesn't kick in automatically). If you're covered by a plan but only as an individual, you'll need to do a little more legwork to figure out how switching to a family plan might impact your bottom lineâswitching from an HMO (Health Maintenance Organization) to a POS (Point of Service plan) or PPO (Preferred Provider Organization), for instance, will likely increase your costsâand which type of coverage will best suit your growing family's needs.
Speak to someone in human resources where you work, call your insurance company directly, or check out your state's health insurance exchange/marketplace (as mandated by the Affordable Care Act), where you'll be able to find, compare, and purchase the coverage you'll need. Ask what services the plan covers (routine checkups, immunizations, sick visits, speech, hearing, and vision tests, lab and x-ray services, prescription meds, speech and physical therapy), if there are any limits on the number of well-baby or sick-baby visits, and what out-of-pocket expenses you'll have to pay (copayments or deductibles, for instance). To find out more about the Health Insurance Marketplace in your state, visit
healthcare.gov
or call 800-318-2596.
Worried that you won't be able to afford insurance? Under the Affordable Care Act, you may be eligible for subsidies or tax breaks. There are other options for you, too: Medicaid programs cover those with low incomes, and the Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP) provides low-cost health insurance for children in families who earn too much income to qualify for Medicaid, don't have employer health insurance available, and can't afford private health insurance. Find out more from
insurekidsnow.gov
or by calling 877-KIDS-NOW. There are also local community health centers that provide care at low or no cost, depending on your income. To find one, go to
findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov
.
The first step on your search for Baby Doctor Right? Deciding what type of practitioner is right for you. Your choices:
The pediatrician.
Babies, children, and sometimes adolescents are their businessâtheir only business. And, they're trained well for it. In addition to 4 years of medical school, pediatricians have had 3 years of specialty training
in pediatrics. If they are board certified (they should be), they have also passed a tough qualifying exam. The major advantage of selecting a pediatrician for your baby is obviousâsince they see only children, and lots of them, they know their stuff when it comes to little ones (including when not to sweat the small stuff). They're more familiar with childhood illnesses, and more experienced in treating them. And they're more likely to have ready answers to the questions parents (like you) ask mostâfrom “Why doesn't she sleep?” to “Why does he cry so much?”âbecause they've heard them all, many times before.
A good pediatrician will also be tuned in to the whole family pictureâand will realize when a change at home (say, a dad's deployment or a mom's return to work) may be the root of a change in a child's behavior, sleeping or eating habits, or even health.
The only downside to choosing a pediatrician? If the entire family comes down with something (strep all around), you may need to call on more than one doctor.
The family practitioner.
Like the pediatrician, the family practitioner usually has had 3 years of specialty training following medical school. But an FP residency program is much broader, covering internal medicine, psychiatry, and obstetrics and gynecology, in addition to pediatrics. The advantage of choosing a family practitioner is that it can mean one-stop doctoringâyou can use the same doctor for prenatal care, the delivery of your baby, and to care for the whole family. Already using a family practitioner? Adding your new baby to the patient roll means you won't have to transition to a brand new doctor, doctor's office, or doctor protocolâand that you'll (hopefully) already have a comfortable doctor-patient rapport on day one with baby. One potential disadvantage: Because family physicians have had less training and experience in pediatrics than their pediatrician colleagues, they may be less practiced in fielding common new parent questions, and less proficient at spotting (or treating) uncommon problems. This might mean more referrals to other doctors. However, the more babies an FP sees, the more pediatric know-how he or she is likely to have built up, minimizing this potential downside.
Decisions, decisionsâand here's another one on your list: What type of practice will best fit your needs, and your baby's?
The solo practitioner.
Like the idea of one doctor, all the time? Then a solo practitioner might be right up your alley. The most obvious perk of a solo practitioner: You and your little one will have the chance to develop a close relationship with one doctor (which can mean fewer tears and fears at checkup time). The flip side of this perk: Solo practitioners aren't likely to be on call around the clock and around the calendar. They'll be around for scheduled appointments (unless called to an emergency), and on call most of the time, but even the most dedicated among them will take vacations and occasional nights and weekends off, leaving a covering physician in charge (a doctor you and your little one may not know, or at least probably won't know very well). The way to cash in on the upside of a solo practitioner while minimizing the downside? Find out who covers for the doctor you're considering and whether
your little one's records will be accessible even when the doctor is not.
The partnership.
Often, two doctors are better than one. If one isn't on call, the other almost always is. If you see them in rotation, you and your baby will be able to build a relationship and a comfort level with both. The potential downside, which can also be a potential upside? Though partners will probably agree on most major issues and will likely share similar philosophies of practice, they may sometimes offer different opinionsâand advice. Having two points of view (say, on a sleep problem or a feeding issue) can be confusing, but it can also be enlightening. One doc's tips didn't cut the colic? Maybe the other's will.