Whatever the Cost (27 page)

Biting his tongue, digging his fists deeper into his pockets, Liam attempts to master his reaction and remain silent rather than say something he might later regret.

“Should we just go back to the room?” Jacen remains aggravatingly passive and composed, not a feather ruffled, a counterpoint to Liam’s formless inner uproar.

This is supposed to be about him
, Liam reminds himself with effort.
We’re supposed to be here so that he can include me in this victory and I’m shitting all over it, just like Yasha did with the marriage announcement.

After taking a deep breath in, holding it, and then letting it back out, Liam reins in his temper.

“No, I’m fine. Show me where you work. I want to see it.”

“If you’re not up for it, then...” Jacen starts.

The apology won’t come, no matter how hard Liam tries to formulate it. He’s not sorry for speaking up when he did. Part of the problem is lingering stubbornness and maybe even remnants of anger initially brought on by having to witness Jacen and Patrick together.

“I’m fine,” Liam repeats a little more forcefully.

Liam isn’t sure why Jacen does it, all he knows is that one moment he’s standing there, slouching, glowering, jaw clenched, trying to see everything at once—Jacen, the people beyond Jacen who are milling about, the cars driving past, even the patrons inside the stores and restaurants, just on the very unlikely off-chance that a spy from The Company is there, somewhere. The next moment, Jacen’s big, warm hand is wrapping lightly around the side of his throat as he leans in to kiss Liam pointedly. It’s firm and possessive, determined, and Liam bends to it instantly, letting himself be thoroughly kissed.

When Jacen straightens, his fingers slip downward to find Liam’s wrist, tugging his hand free of his pocket and claiming that too.

The fight drains from Liam. Lips tingling, hyperaware of Jacen’s hulking presence by his side, their hands joined, Liam feels shaken and fumbles, “Look, I really....”

“We’ll discuss it later. For now just walk with me.”

For what might be the first time since Timothy died, Liam doesn’t feel in control at all. Jacen has all of the control, but it’s somehow okay. It doesn’t make him nervous at all.

Jacen leads them through the crowd, keeping Liam close, not making eye contact with anyone if he can help it. He’s able to feel the heat baking off of Liam, now quiet and chastened. But Liam’s initial surge of energy was brought on because he was tense and irate, completely out of control of his reaction to something as innocent as a hello with a stranger, when Jacen knows for a fact that Liam has weathered much worse with less trouble. It’s empowering and enlightening for Jacen to see how much his behavior affects his new partner, hard proof of the shifting dynamic between them. And somehow Jacen knew that all he had to do to balance things back out was to give Liam back some of his cherished coping mechanisms.

By leaving words behind, just kissing him instead, Jacen had managed to underline, for anyone looking on, exactly what the nature of their relationship was, should anyone continue to doubt it or should Logan still be near enough to see, for Liam’s sake more than anything. Jacen had also taken the disagreement back to a more intimate, physical level, showing Liam what his role is to play. And Jacen felt the precise moment when Liam chose to obey and submitted completely. It was a flickering change behind his eyes, a shift in his posture, a softening of the intensity that had thus far been vibrating from him.

They reach their destination, Barbara’s Bistro. Not intending to go inside, they remain out front, taking it in—the dark, heavy, ornately carved decorations on the exterior, even more of the same rich wood continuing inside in the beams in the ceiling, the molding, and the floor. The restaurant is filled with neat little round tables covered with crisp white linens which are flanked by high-backed, decadently upholstered chairs which add to the ambiance. Tasteful candles on the tables and similar, larger sconces on the walls light the space with soft, flickering warmth.

“There’s a wine tasting bar on the side,” Jacen explains, pointing it out. “And they specialize right now in slow-cooked meats. It smells
amazing
in there, Lee. It’s like heaven. Joe told me he used to love to travel all over the world, but especially to Paris, so when he settled down with his daughter, Lily, he decided to open this place to remind him of where he’d loved to eat when he was abroad.”

“I love it. It’s gorgeous.” Liam weaves his fingers more closely between Jacen’s. “You really are a lucky bastard, aren’t you?”

Jacen grins down at him, nudging him with an arm.

“Damn. I’m gonna need to join a gym or something, because if you’re gonna be cooking all the time, or bringing home all of this incredible food, I’ve gotta find a new way to burn the calories.”

“Maybe I’d like a little more meat on your bones,” Jacen whispers conspiratorially to him, right by his left ear. “More to grab on to when I’m having my way with you.”

Liam squints up at him. “Or you just don’t wanna chance the sweaty, juiced-up, muscle-heads at the gym flirting with me while you’re off at work.”

“Mm,” Jacen hums thoughtfully. “They can look. But they can’t touch.” He briefly takes hold of Liam’s chin, his gaze sliding in a long measuring glance down Liam’s body. It makes Liam shiver, butterflies knocking around in his stomach. He feels himself growing inexplicably shyer by the second.

When Jacen just keeps looking hungrily at Liam like
he’s
a piece of slow-cooked meat, one he’s more than ready to sink his teeth into or roll around in his mouth for a while, Liam clears his throat and points out, “Okay. We
were
discussing your new, fabulous job. I know you just wanted to take a look, but should we go in, or....”

“Nah. Let’s just walk around a little more.”

“Mm. So you, um, you didn’t want to get out of here? Head back to the room?” Liam murmurs, rubbing a hand back through his short hair.

A slow, purely wicked grin spreads over Jacen’s face, making his eyes spark bright and hot.

“Why would we want to go back to the room?”

“Well,” Liam mumbles, his gaze skittering around the sidewalk, still watching out, looking at everything but the way Jacen is eye-fucking him. “You know, on the off chance that you wanted to, I mean... come on. We’re both in a period of adjustment right now. And, for my part, at least, I’m used to a certain level of... activity. Like daily. Sometimes hourly. And it feels strange to not, uh, have that anymore. So I think we should try to maybe kick the frequency up a little bit more than we have been. Just for the sake of a smoother transition.”

Jacen swallows a dark chuckle, his smile only growing, with eyes only for Liam in his sweetly awkward horniness, just drinking it up like nectar.

“Stop smiling at me like that,” Liam scolds. “I’m serious.”

“I can tell,” Jacen agrees. “Come on.” He tugs on Liam’s hand, but in the opposite direction from where the truck is parked.

“You’re going the wrong way. We’re back here,” Liam says, thumbing over his shoulder.

“Oh, I know. We’re not leaving yet.”

“Why not?”

Chuckling again, Jacen guides Liam farther down the block. A shadowy alleyway gets gradually closer and Liam blurts, “You’re not really—I mean, I guess it’s faster, and convenient, but....”

Jacen pauses, following Liam’s gaze to the dark, narrow passage between the buildings. “Lee,” Jacen says with clear amusement. “I’m not fucking you in the alley.”

“Why not?”

Deep, rolling laughter erupts from Jacen, surprising him. “Oh, wow. This is going to be more fun than I thought.”

“What?”

Jacen glances back at Liam from over his shoulder, his blue eyes flashing with promise as hot and brilliant as sunlight striking calm waters. Tossing his hair back with a flip of his head, he pulls Liam on, walking past the alleyway.

“Jacen?”

“
Liam
,” Jacen teases, mimicking him in a low, sing-songy voice.

“Come on! What good’s a trophy husband if you don’t use him for dirty sex a few times a day?”

Jacen has no reply other than another one of those heady, piercing looks.

“Jacen!”

“
Liam
,” Jacen teases again.

“I don’t want to look at real estate possibilities right now, I want to get fucked,” Liam growls quietly.

“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Jacen assures him. “We have received the message, loud and clear. But I think you’re too much fun when you’re desperate for it to actually give it to you just yet.”

Liam’s eyes narrow.

Jacen blinks calmly down at him.

“Well, maybe I’ll just be less fun, then.”

“You can try,” Jacen smirks. “Now get your sweet ass moving. I see some ‘For Sale’ signs up ahead.”

“Maybe if we were talking about renting, but as it is, it’s too damn much,” Liam argues. He tosses his emptied take-out container onto a table and sinks down onto the couch. His skin feels too tight and he’s itchy, fidgeting restlessly. His knees bounce. His right hand scratches over the back of the left, and most of all he can’t look at Jacen. The calm determination Jacen is exuding is even more panic-inducing, because it looks very much like Jacen has already made up his mind about this, and is just seeking ways to convince Liam to go along with it.

“I told you, it’s not too much. We have over a million dollars between us, and that’s without the stocks. Doing this is a smart investment. We’ll be making our money back every month with the rent we charge and that’s not even counting the real estate value itself.”

“Jacen, we can’t buy a whole building.”

“Sure we can. And hey, it solves the problem of you finding a job outside the house. It’s even safer this way. You can tend to the building and the grounds as the landlord. I’ll be hunkered down in the kitchen at the bistro. Not a whole lot of face time with the public, less chance of being recognized, less chance of getting hurt. I think it’s perfect. And the realtor said there are already tenants in four of the six units. With us in the fifth that leaves only one open to rent. What about it don’t you like, specifically?”

“The hallways are yellow.”

“We can paint them. Anything else?”

“What if I don’t want to be a landlord? I don’t know how to fix crap,” Liam says, throwing his arms out widely.

“You can learn. You’re a pretty quick study. And I have faith in you,” Jacen smiles. “One of the most important things to people is their home. You know what I’m talking about. This is your chance to be there for other people and keep them safe, too. It doesn’t have to be your job if you don’t want it. We can share the responsibility if you’d rather find some other sort of work.”

“I’m not like you, Jace. I don’t have any secret talents, besides giving good head. I’m fairly useless. The last thing I want right now is to have a whole other group of people counting on me to take care of them. I kind of feel like I have a full plate as it is, with keeping us alive and off the streets. Can we just take this a little bit slower? I think it’s awesome that you found a job so fast, but I’m not in a huge rush to commit to something this big.”

“Hey,” Jacen says tenderly, but still with that hard, unmovable glint in his aqua eyes. He takes a seat on the coffee table in front of Liam, staring eye-to-eye with him. “It’s not only your job to handle things with us. We’re sharing this. If you need me to take over sometimes, then I will do that, no questions asked. You can count on me, Lee, and you can lean on me. I won’t break. Can you please just trust that I have a good feeling about this? I want to do this. I’ll handle everything with settlement and the legal shit. I already sent Clay the address to see if he thinks it’s a good plan or not, since he knows the neighborhoods better than anyone.”

“But why does it have to be so soon?”

“I guess I just like knowing where I belong. I feel like I belong there.”

“What if they find us? What if they track us to San Luis Obispo and we’ve committed to a mortgage on a six-unit apartment building. Then what? We skip town again and have the banks on our asses too?”

“We can always manage the building from off-site. We hire a landlord and rent out the sixth apartment. We do it remotely. We don’t skip out on anybody, but we can go off-radar if we have to. It’s actually easier to do it with something like this than if we were just buying a place for ourselves. Then if we had to leave, we
would
be in trouble with the banks. And renting somewhere is just throwing hard-earned money down the toilet. Financially, this is a better long-term solution. We make our money back. It’s our second income
and
our home.”