Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? (4 page)
DO MEN SLEEP MORE THAN WOMEN?
Are those men who conked out after sex
still
asleep?
Actually, some authorities believe that women are biologically programmed to sleep better than men. Estrogen tends to decrease the number of awakenings after you finally fall asleep and also increases total sleep time. Unfortunately, menopause and pregnancy throws off this advantage.
In the Bruskin Research survey of one thousand Americans ages eighteen and older, one of five men ages eighteen to thirty-four concede they take longer than an hour to fall asleep. Also, more than 30 percent of men in that age group admit to falling asleep at work, clearly making up for time lost during their primary nocturnal sleep.
As we discussed earlier, snoring and sleep disordered breathing is more common in men than women and this also adds to the dozing dysfunction of men.
Researching this one’s made me a little sleepy. I think it’s time for a nap…
DO MEN HAVE SHORTER ATTENTION SPANS THAN WOMEN?
We’ve been trying to answer this question for weeks now, but we can’t seem to concentrate long enough to write anything.
One thing that we do know for certain is that attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) occurs primarily in males. The male to female ratio has been reported to be as high as 9:1.
Did you ever notice that…squirrels never fall out of trees…and where do all the dead pigeons go?…uh…wait…weren’t we supposed to be answering a question about…what was it…?
Actually, there’s no more information about gender differences in attention spans, so you’ll have to ponder this one on your own.
WHY DO WOMEN LIVE LONGER THAN MEN?
Life expectancy varies from country to country and people definitely live longer in developed nations than in the third world. But, one of the constants in almost all countries is that women outlive men. In the United States the average life expectancy for men is 74.5 years, while women can expect to be around for 79.9 years.
There are many theories about the reason for female longevity, and since a complete answer would require an entire book, we will try to summarize. There really are two separate questions:
Why do men die so young? Why do women live so long?
The available evidence points toward evolution, behavior, and biology. In terms of evolution, women are helped by the need to live long enough to raise their children, while men wear themselves out competing for the right to procreate. Behavioralists point out that around the time of puberty through the twenties, men are three times more likely to die than women. Most of the male fatalities are caused by reckless behavior or violence. In the older age group, behavior-related fatalities are still more common among men. Illnesses related to smoking and alcohol consumption also kill more men than women. Lastly there are some strong biological factors that favor women. Heart disease targets men more readily, and is the main cause of the gender gap in this arena.
The gender discrepancy is most pronounced in the very old. Among centenarians worldwide, women outnumber men nine to one. The good news for the men out there is that if you make it past one hundred, you will definitely have your pick of the litter at the nursing home.
CHAPTER 2
IN THE KITCHEN
It’s
another day at the office and Leyner has yet to arrive. Our first appointment is with Judd Wilson (names are changed to comply with patient privacy regulations). Judd suffers from body dysmorphic disorder, a condition in which the patient has an overwhelming preoccupation with a slight or completely imagined defect in his appearance. We’ve been seeing him for several months. Although he is a fairly slender man with a fit-looking physique, Judd is convinced that he is not only overweight, but morbidly obese. He has consequently developed severe eating problems, frequently starving himself and then binging uncontrollably. He was depressed and socially thwarted by his condition. But we are making significant albeit slow progress. Leyner has actually developed a special relationship with Judd as he identified with his obsessive mirror gazing. Right now, I needed to cover for Leyner’s absence.
“He’s attending the annual meeting on cognitive-behavioral body image therapy for body dysmorphic disorder in Kuala Lumpur,” I said. “He definitely would be here if he could. So how have you managed this week?”
Judd tensed with frustration. “I can’t take it. Food is everywhere. I am haunted by Jared Fogle from Subway, Mario Batali, and Mary Kate and Ashley. Just when I finally can find a balance between starving myself and overeating, I hear Rachael Ray screeching about chicken livers and Cracker Jacks.”
“Well, Judd, you need to find places of safety. Places where you can escape the pressures and find your own equilibrium.” I continue, “So let’s try something. Start with this office. Let’s make it your refuge. In here, there is no pressure. No Rachael Ray. No Wolfgang Puck. Nothing to resist, nothing to indulge.”
Somewhat more relaxed, Judd responds, “That feels good. I like that.”
At that very moment, Leyner bursts through the door clutching a large greasy brown sack. “Dude, sorry I’m late,” he says, as he voraciously tears into an overflowing bucket of fried chicken.
Suddenly he stops eating and looks up at me, and then Judd, his brow knit with consternation.
“This is wrong…I’m sorry…how could I?…What was I thinking?” he stammered.
“It’s okay,” replies an ashen-faced Judd.
“No, how could I…how could I eat fried chicken without…”
He reaches into the sack and triumphantly pulls out a large oily container.
“…without curly fries!!!!”
Now totally pale, Judd shrieks, “But this is my safe place!”
Leyner, without missing a beat, flings a half-eaten drumstick at Judd and snarls, “Buddy, how many times have I told you, the world is a gauntlet, a lifelong sadistic hazing ritual, a minefield fraught with agonizing death at every turn.” Saying this, Leyner begins shoveling heaping spoonfuls of tapioca pudding into his mouth.
Judd, now beside himself with rage, begins to get up from the sofa.
Seeing an opening, I intercede. “Judd, do you see our method? Can it be any more clear? The point we’re trying to dramatize here is that you can never effectively protect yourself from your own innate desires and feelings. You need to confront, honor, and sometimes actually indulge your fears. Like the anger you’re feeling right now. Throw that drumstick back at Leyner. And tell me how it feels.”
He picks up the gnawed chicken leg and hurls it violently at Leyner’s head. Like a Frisbee-catching Jack Russell terrier, Leyner adroitly catches the drumstick in his teeth and begins to laugh hysterically, as tapioca spurts from his nostrils. “Man,
that
is refreshing, I can breathe again. Thanks, Doc.”
Leyner strides from the office, inhaling and exhaling with great gusto and satisfaction.
I watch his triumphant exit and turn to see Judd laughing along. Somehow Leyner’s unorthodox methodology has succeeded, and the now ebullient Judd just wants to know one thing: Why
does
food come out of your nose when you laugh while eating? This I can answer.
IS IT TRUE THAT AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY?
It certainly would be great to spend your money on apples rather than health insurance. Unfortunately, an apple a day will not keep you totally disease free, but there is some evidence that it can help.
Scientists have done many studies looking for a specific chemical in apples that could prove this old adage. Quercetin, a polyphenolic compound (polyphenols are the antioxidant compounds found in red wine), is the compound most referenced for its curative properties. Quercetin was found to help in lung and prostate cancer and to reduce the incidence of cardiovascular disease. Apples also contain other antioxidant compounds and fiber. The peel has the highest proportion of these antioxidants (almost five times greater), so definitely don’t skip the peel. There has also been some research that has found that apples help in fighting Alzheimer’s and breast cancer.
Researchers in Canada looked at eight varieties of apples and found that Red Delicious and Northern Spy apples had the highest levels of antioxidant chemicals. This study left out many varieties that are also popular in the United States, so your favorite may still be good for you.
It is no magic bullet, but hey, it makes apple pie sound more nutritious, right?
DOES MILK CAUSE AN INCREASE IN MUCUS?
This is definitely going to be one of those questions that will cause us some trouble. People insist that milk causes increased mucus and most don’t like it when their entrenched beliefs are contradicted by science.
Milk does not cause increased mucus production. Several studies confirm the fact that milk is not the bad guy many “lactophobes” make it out to be. What these phlegmy people are probably feeling is milk coating the throat, causing the sensation of increased phlegm. When comparing milk to liquids of similar viscosity, there was no difference in mucus quantities. Whatever symptoms people feel should go away shortly after the coating dissipates.
So, if you’re still feeling phlegmy or hawking up enormous loogies, don’t blame it on the poor hardworking dairy cows. They are just doing their job.
IS THE RED DYE IN MARASCHINO CHERRIES REALLY BAD FOR YOU?
Or do you suffer from erythrophobia?
Erythrophobia refers to an abnormal and persistent fear of blushing, but also refers to a fear of the color red. It is not surprising that someone could associate the color red with fear. There certainly are a great many scary “reds”—the Red Scare of the fifties, communism, of course, redcoats, getting caught red-handed, being in the red, taking the red-eye, a code red, and red flags are just a few.
No wonder people think that red maraschino cherries are dangerous.
Food colorants have been used for many years. Some historians believe that they were first used around 1500
BC
. In 1938 the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act was passed, giving the FDA the authority to oversee the safety of food, drugs, and cosmetics. This is the origin of “FD&C” that you see before a dye’s number on product labels. In 1960 an amendment was added to the Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act. This was called the Delaney Clause and it prohibited the marketing of any color additive that was found to cause cancer in animals or humans, regardless of amount. Since then, Red #1, #2, and #4 have all been banned. The two main red dyes that are still used are Red #3 and Red #40. Both are used in maraschino cherries.
Are these dyes perfectly safe? The cancer risks for Red #3 are as small as 1 in 100,000 over a seventy-year period. These dyes are found in many foods so an occasional maraschino cherry probably isn’t going to increase your risk. But if you’re scarfing down several whole jars a day, you might want to consider switching to olives.
WILL A WATERMELON BUSH GROW IN YOUR BELLY IF YOU SWALLOW A WATERMELON SEED?
We have been asked several versions of this question and have resisted our desire to purge it from the book entirely, because the answer seems SO obvious. Of course you won’t grow a watermelon bush, a cherry tree, or a pumpkin patch in your stomach if you swallow seeds.
Even if you clamp your duodenum, eat a bag of potting soil, swallow seeds, and then top it off with a shot or two of Miracle-Gro, nothing will grow. The stomach is hardly fertile ground for agriculture.
WHY DO YOU LOSE YOUR SENSE OF TASTE WHEN YOUR NOSE IS STUFFED?
Humans are microsmatic, which means that we have poorly developed olfactory organs. For us, the sense of smell is not essential for survival as it is for other animals and smell always seems to take a backseat to the other senses. Sight and hearing have always appeared to be the most necessary senses for humans and touch and taste are often thought to be more significant than smell. But what is taste without smell? Pretty limited, actually.
Humans can recognize as many as ten thousand different scents. Taste on the other hand, is limited to four basic categories: sweet, salty, sour, and bitter. Around 75 percent of what we perceive as taste actually comes from our sense of smell. Food gives off odor molecules that our brain recognizes. So it is no surprise that when your nose is stuffed, your taste suffers.
WHY DOES SPINACH LEAVE A CHALKY TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH?
We tried to answer this question in
Why Do Men Have Nipples?,
but it was difficult to find a clear answer so we just left it on the cutting room floor. Well, after many plates of sautéed spinach at one of our favorite restaurants, Bar Pitti in New York, we needed to find an answer.
Spinach is a famously healthy food due in great part to Popeye. (In our humble opinions, the greatest incarnations of Popeye are the original E. C. Segar cartoons that appeared in newspapers in the 1930s and the fantastic original animated versions by the Fleischer Brothers, but we digress.)
The most likely cause for the spinach aftertaste is the large amount of calcium, specifically calcium oxalate, found in spinach. You also will find the same compound in beet greens and rhubarb, so you’ll encounter the same aftertaste when eating these delicious veggies.
DOES BARBECUING CAUSE CANCER?
Picture this. A large man in plaid shorts stands beside his barbecue grill. His round beer belly is pushing out against his apron which reads “Will Grill for Sex.” An enormous flame is rising up in the air and the meat is crackling its way to an indistinguishable black-encrusted mess. The problem is that this familiar but unpleasant sight might actually be dangerous.
Studies have found that two types of cancer-causing agents can be formed during barbecuing. These are polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs) and heterocyclic amines (HCAs). PAHs (mainly benzopyrene) are formed in smoke and are found on the surface of the meat and can be more easily scraped off.
HCAs are found inside the meat. They are caused by putting the meat under high temperatures and can also be formed in a frying pan or oven, as well as the grill.
Don’t worry, there’s still hope for all you backyard barbecue big shots. We can control how we cook to minimize the risk.
Here are some grilling tips:
Marinate
Precook food before grilling. (This reduces the exposure to high heat, and you can drain fat to have less dripping and smoking.)
Flip often.
Cook at lower temperatures.
Don’t cook directly over coals.
Limit use of the lid to reduce cooking in smoke.
Remove any blackened parts on the surface of the meat.
WHY DOES FOOD COME OUT OF YOUR NOSE WHEN YOU LAUGH WHILE EATING?
The answer to this question is a simple anatomy lesson. The nose and the mouth are connected inside the back of the throat (the pharynx). The soft palate and the uvula move up, back, and out of the way when swallowing to allow food or drink to go down unimpeded. In this position, the soft palate also blocks the passage of air back out through the nose. When you are not swallowing, the soft palate and uvula go back in their regular position, allowing air to pass freely in and out through the nose into the pharynx.
So what happens when that geyser of milk comes through your nose? If you start laughing after swallowing, the uvula and palate return to their resting positions to let the air out. The pressure of laughing forces the milk out through the pharynx and into the nose and presto…the dreaded Milk Nose!
IS COFFEE GOOD FOR YOUR MEMORY?
If coffee is good for your memory, shouldn’t Juan Valdez be a
Jeopardy
champion?
Caffeine is the world’s most widely used stimulant. It has been studied for its relationship to a remarkable number of conditions. When we searched for articles pertaining to coffee or caffeine in a medical database, there were almost twenty thousand references from the past forty years.
While many links between coffee and various cancers have been suggested, most evidence shows no connection between coffee intake and cancer of the oral cavity, esophagus, stomach, liver, breast, ovary, kidney, and pancreas. There is a possible increased risk of bladder cancer with heavy coffee intake, but a slight decreased incidence of colon cancer. In the end, there seems no real reason to change your habits.
Now back to the question: Some studies have shown drinking coffee may help improve memory because it leads to increased attention and arousal. Investigators postulate that it can have a temporary effect on the growth of the nerve cells in the brain, specifically the spinelike structures on the nerve cells (dendrites). The effects of increased attention and arousal are only temporary and may be less significant in habitual coffee drinkers.
WHY DO WINTERGREEN LIFE SAVERS SPARK WHEN YOU BITE THEM?
For those of you who have never experienced this phenomenon, just turn off the lights, look into the mirror, and bite down on some wintergreen Life Savers. The result: your own oral light show.
Yes, there is actually some science behind this phenomenon. It’s called triboluminescence. This is a fancy way of saying the creation of light by friction. When the sugar crystals in a mint fracture, small electrical fields are created. Basically, small molecules are crashing together and this results in the creation of ultraviolet light. The bluish color you see comes from the wintergreen flavoring (methyl salicylate).