Wish for You (4 page)

“
You don’t have to give me yours,” she says, but I notice, with complete male satisfaction, that she doesn’t take it off or ask me to take it back.

“
I know I don’t.” The cold air infiltrates my hair, all the way down my scalp. “Let’s fix the sides, okay?”

“
Okay.”

She gazes at me with those big brown eyes of hers, while I pull the beanie down just so, making sure her ears aren’t folded over or sticking out on one side.

My hands tremble as I work, as I take an inordinately long time to adjust a stupid hat so I have an excuse to touch her. I let my knuckles graze her cheek, and she sighs, the sound so arousing that my body starts to tighten.

No other woman does this to me. Sure, I can achieve a sexual high with anyone, but it doesn’t last. The entire act is nothing but a means to relieve pent-up frustrations, something I’d sworn never to do.

I’m not a user but, lately, I sure as hell feel like one. Tonight is the first night in months I haven’t ended up drunk or high. And it’s the first time in two weeks that I know for sure I won’t end up in some random chick’s bed.

Self-loathing fills me, and I drop my hand. I don’t deserve to touch Lacey after sleeping with those other females, after making sure she saw me with them, and hoping like hell I was hurting her like she’d hurt me.

God, I’m one messed-up asshole.

“
What’s wrong?” she asks, her concern making me feel worse instead of better.

Instead of telling her the truth, I wink at her. “It’s two minutes until midnight.”

“
You’ll be late to the party.” She takes a step closer to me, and my traitor of a body quickly crosses the small distance between us.

“
I’m not going to the party.” Bending my knees, I dip my head. All the while, my brain is screaming at me to stop. Kissing her, or attempting to, will mess everything up again. “Want to ring in the New Year with me?”

“
I… uh…” Her chin tips up, and her lashes flutter to her cheeks.

“
Less than a minute now.”

“
Wyatt?” My name is the sweetest whisper I’ve ever heard, but it’s underpinned with a question I don’t want to answer, much less acknowledge.

Don’t. Please don’t. Give me one last kiss.
But I know I’m fooling myself. I don’t want one last kiss. I want every kiss, from now until we’re too old and decrepit to do more than drool at each other. I cup her shoulders, and then slide my hands down her back to press her against me. My eyes close.
Please, sweetheart. Give me this… just tonight.

Right as my lips touch hers, she puts her hands between us and turns her head. “I can’t. Please don’t…
Please
, Wyatt. I can’t do this.”

Her words are more frigid than the air around me. Once again, resentment and anger build, and I let go of her. “No problem,
buddy
.” I shake my head, fury guiding my words. “Guess I’ll go to Beau’s, after all. There are some—”

“
Stop it,” she cries. “I said please and made it clear about what I want. I h-haven’t been ugly to you, or sarcastic. All I want is the old Wyatt back.”

Something inside of me snaps. “The old Wyatt is dead. The one you see standing before you is the one you’ll have to deal with from now on,
buddy.
”

“
You don’t have to be so mean about it.” She twists a lock hair around two of her fingers, tears falling down her cheeks. “And s-stop calling me buddy!”

My heart is shredded by the look on her face, by her tears, and the familiar way she tugs on her hair. I did this to her. I’ve made her panic attacks worse, just by being an asshole. I haven’t seen her this upset since her entire family moved, right before we… for lack of a better term, broke up.

“
Lawless Lucy?”

She sniffs, a small smile curving the corners of her mouth. “That’s better.”

“
It’s a scary name.” It’s her roller derby name, and I think it’s kickass as hell.

Lacey lightly punches me in the arm. “It’s an act.”

Though it kills me, I punch her back, lighter than she did me, and tug my hat over her eyes. She giggles and flips it up so she can see again.

“
Oh,” she breathes, her eyes filling with wonder. “There’s the Wyatt I know.”

“
I’m trying, sweetheart,” I manage to say as she takes my hand in hers. Our fingers come together, naturally and easily.

“
It’s not easy coming home from war,” she says, as if that explains away all my asinine behavior.

I cock my head to one side. “How do you know?”

“
I read about the effects of war on soldiers before you came home, so I could be prepared,” she says solemnly, and I want to hug her. But I don’t trust myself to be content with just a hug. And I, for damn sure, won’t be content with her rejection.

“
Good thing I’m a Marine, then,” I tease, wishing like hell she’d let my hand go. This is torture, worse than the bullet that sliced my skin open.

“
Better thing that you’re finally home.” She glances down. “It’s past midnight!”

“
Happy New Year, Lacey Evans,” I murmur, holding at attention.

She rises up on her tiptoes, kissing my cheek softly, and I curl my free hand into the tightest fist I’ve ever made. “Happy New Year, Wyatt Tanaka.” Then she lets go of my hand. “I’m going inside now.”

Shaken to my core, I let her walk away. It’s not until she’s inside that I finally do leave. When I get to Beau’s house, the party’s bigger and much louder than it was at The Double Deuce. I grab my favorite poison and lean against the wall, scanning the room.

A hot brunette sashays up to me, in a barely there skirt and top. “I heard you just got back.”

I’d been back since September, but I really didn’t want to argue with her, much less talk to her. “Yeah.” I take a drink.

“
Is it true that the government trains you guys to be killers, like with your bare hands?”

Is she fucking serious? I glance at her. Her blue eyes are completely serious. I hold out my hand. “This is classified as a lethal weapon.”

“
So if I took you upstairs, would you put those lethal weapons on me?” She runs a hand up my chest. “Love the tats by the way. Got anymore?”

I have two full sleeves, more on my back, and one on my hip. “Yes, to both questions.”

As she leads me upstairs, I tell myself all the reasons why I should be okay with this. Lacey isn’t into me. I’m not using this chick. Yeah, I can only think of two.

“
What’s your name?” I ask as she begins to unbutton my jeans.

“
Doesn’t matter.”

It kinda does. “I’m Wy—”

“
Really don’t care.”

“
Then how did you—?”

“
Your friend, Parker, sent me to you.”

When she lets her skirt fall to the floor, I see she’s not wearing any panties. Everything is completely bare, so bare that I can see her piercing.

“
That’s unexpected.”

She smiles, and then falls to her knees. “I’m going to take very good care of you, Soldier.”

I’m not a soldier.
But then her mouth is on my dick, and I don’t give a damn anymore. So much for knowing what I wouldn’t do tonight.

Chapter Four

Wyatt

I crack open a lid at the sunlight shining directly on my face. Nothing like waking up to what feels like sand and glass in your eyes. Blinking and rubbing my eyes, I scratch my chest, encountering not one, but two hands.

“
Shit,” I breathe, glancing at the two women in bed with me. I don’t remember inviting the second girl. A new fear takes hold. I’ve never slept with
anyone
without remembering exactly what we’ve done before.

But Holly, I think that’s what she ended up telling me her name was, had some blow, and she’d shared every last bit of it with me. It wasn’t the first time I’d done lines, but I vow to myself to never do it again, because it’s the last thing I remember about last night.

“
Motherfucker
.” I maneuver out of the females’ holds to start searching the room and trashcans for condom wrappers.

When I find a few, I almost drop to my knees in thanks. “No better than a fucking POG.” Yeah, comparing myself to some clueless dude in war seems about right. I yank on my clothes and head downstairs, leaving the two sleeping women behind. Beau’s cleaning crew must have already been at work, because there’s no evidence that a party ever took place last night.

Everything, and I mean
everything,
is pristine. It’s like he’s expecting someone important over. A high-pitched giggle makes me pause. I do an about-face and head to the kitchen. The giggling grows louder and, when I push open the kitchen door, the sight that greets me freezes me in place.

Beau’s sitting at the table, eating breakfast, but he’s not alone. Only the woman, or women, I’m expecting to see aren’t at the table at all. The only female in the room is sitting in a high chair, wearing an all-pink outfit. She has baby food smeared from one side of her mouth to the other.

“
One more bite,” Beau says, making the spoon in his hand zoom around.

The baby makes a spitting sound, and the food ends up on Beau.

I still haven’t moved, even while taking all of this in. Suddenly, my buddy turns around, and his face goes bright red. He stumbles out of his chair. The baby giggles as he does this wild dance.

“
It’s not… she’s a friend’s… I…
fuck
.” He glances at the baby. “Sorry. Shit. Language, dumbass.
Arg.
Damn it.” He actually slams the bowl down, but the baby in the high chair doesn’t notice. She’s too happy smearing the food around on her tray. “I thought everyone was gone.”

“
You forgot to check the guestroom in the very back.” This time I turn red, my cheeks heating to DEFCON ONE levels. “There are two women still in there, sleeping.”

“
Good to know. I’ll have someone take care of them,” Beau says nonchalantly. I should have known he wouldn’t care or judge me.

I nod my head. “So…”

“
Yeah…”

“
Don’t feel like sharing—perfectly fine with me.”

Beau’s grey eyes widen and he blows out a breath, practically sagging against the table, like I’ve just give him a reprieve from doing time. “Appreciate that.”

Another heavy pause. “Guess I’ll go now.” I want to go to the nearest available clinic and get checked or something. I’ve been given a shot for everything in the world I could possibly contract while deployed. But none of them protect against STDs. Or pregnancy. “If either of those ladies needs my number… please give it to them.”

“
Holly and Patty are cool,” he says. “Completely.” As if his pronouncement solves all my problems. “The company they work for requires a clean bill of health and for them to be on birth control.”

I blink at him, not sure if he means what I think he means. “They’re… they’re…?”

“
Escorts. High-class call girls.” He shrugs, and then sits down on the chair again. Grabbing a towel, he wipes the baby’s face. “Most likely my dad had them sent over, as an apology to me.”

I fall into the nearest chair, relief making me shaky. Beau’s explanation makes total sense. His dad had sent
strippers
to my nineteenth birthday party. Something that’s only cool in theory. Not in reality, when your entire family is there, including out-of-town relatives from Japan and California.

A memory hits me, then.
Your friend, Parker, sent me to you.
Only that made total sense for Parker to do, too. Hadn’t he tried to set Cole up with another girl after Cole and Rae had broken up? Guess I owe the dude an apology—I think.

“
Mind if I sit here for a minute?”

“
Not if you don’t mind me ignoring you.”