Wish for You (7 page)

“
You would do that for me?” she asks, and I want to take the words back. To live her with her, to be near her, without being able to touch her, or sleep with her… I’d rather go back to war.

“
I was joking.” I take off my coat and hang it up in the closet. “Tell me what your budget is.”

“
I can afford three hundred a month. Maybe three-fifty if I’m really careful with my money, and cut out my mani/pedis,” she says. “I don’t need those, not really.”

She might not need those, but I sure as hell always liked what she picked out to wear on her nails. Skulls and crossbones, glitter… the Marine Corp Insignia right after I’d left. She’d mailed a picture of those, her letter conveying how proud she was of me, of what I’d done. But if she knew what I’d done, what I allowed to happen to my battle buddy… she wouldn’t be so proud. As far as I’m concerned, I’ll never tell her either. I know I wouldn’t be able to take the light dimming from her eyes any more than it already has.

“
Okay, so three to three fifty for rent.” I move into the living room, snagging my tablet from the table to begin searching for apartments I’m pretty sure don’t exist. Or if they did, I wouldn’t let my worst enemy live there.

“
No, three to three fifty for everything.”

I almost drop the tablet. “Excuse me?”

“
That’s how much I can afford. I’ll have to pay for insurance to drive, for furniture, eventually for a used car, and stuff like that. That will wipe out all of my savings,” she says, misery in her voice.

“
Why don’t you sit?” I suggest as I plop down on my couch.

Lacey glances around the room. She’s only been here twice before, and those times we’d ended up on the floor, me on top and her under me, as I kissed her and stroked her perfect body. As I imagined how good it would feel to be inside of her. How everything I’ve ever worked for in my entire life would be nothing in comparison. My pants get all uncomfortable and tight. Damn my inconvenient erection.

“
With you?”

“
You’ll be able to see the apartments if you do.” I wave the tablet at her. “I’ll let you play Candy Crush when we’re done.”

She bites her lip and then moves to me, sinking into the couch and folding her legs beside her. “That’s a nice one.”

I check out the rent, trying like hell to concentrate on the address and not how good she smells, not how close she sits to me. Not how her knees are touching my thigh, or how her fingers are so close to mine. “That’s out of your budget.”

We check out about a half dozen more, before Lacey takes the tablet from me and sets it down beside her. “I can’t afford an apartment, can I?”

“
Not by yourself,” I say truthfully.

“
A roommate?”

I can practically see her mind working. She’s thinking of her tics, of her panic attacks, of all the things that make her perfect to me, and imperfect to everyone else—at least in her eyes. And, I have to admit, to others, too. But isn’t that one of the many perks of falling in love? To see what no one else can? To find beauty where others see only ugliness?

She begins to rise. “Thanks for your help, Wyatt.” Her shoulders slump, and I can’t stand it. She’s hurting, which means I’m hurting. Only I don’t want to stop hurting, I just want her to stop hurting. I’d kill for this girl. I’d die for her. I’d—

Where there’s a will, there’s a way around it.

I’d lie, scheme, and give her the choice to allow me to do that, only to justify my actions later. “Wait.”

Turning, Lacey lets out a shaky breath. She still has on her coat. She never made herself comfortable here tonight. “Yes?”

“
Maybe you could… be my roommate. If you think your parents would go for it. I do have two bedrooms and two bathrooms, so it wouldn’t be like we’d be living in sin,” I say with a little grin. “You wouldn’t have to buy anything to live here, unless you wanted to.”

She considers my offer, her face starting to relax out of that pinched look of worry she’d worn earlier. “How much?”

I can’t give her a number too high, and I can’t give her a number too low. It has to be just right. “How about two hundred, includes everything but groceries.”

She fists her hands on her hips, and for the first time, I notice she’s wearing jeans. I’ve never seen her in jeans before. Too bad her coat is too long for me to see how they fit her ass.

“
I’m not stupid, Wyatt.”

I stand and cross the room to stand in front of her. Cupping her shoulders, I let my hands slide down to her elbows. “I know you’re not. But I don’t need a roommate, sweetheart. I thought two was fair and wouldn’t be an insult.”

Her pink lips round, and I fight the biting urge to kiss that perfect circle. To show her another reason to make that face. “Oh.”

“
Would you like for me to talk to your parents?”

She shakes her head, auburn hair slipping over her shoulders and onto the black material of her coat. In that moment, I imagine her hair sliding over my skin, her pink mouth leading the way. My body tightens in anticipation.

“
No.”

“
When do you want to move in?”

“
As soon as it’s okay. My parents want me to be used to my new place before they…” Her lower lip trembles, and all erotic thoughts of hair and her pink mouth go flying out the window. That protective instinct that the Marines sharpened to a fine blade comes out, and I want to slay all the dragons threatening her happiness. “Before they move to Turkey.”

“
Whatever you want, I’m here for you.”

“
Because we’re friends?” she asks, and this time, I can’t get mad at the reminder. Her entire family is leaving her alone, for the next two years. I know exactly how hard it is to wait. I know how it feels to countdown to home, to countdown to seeing the people you love the most, while there’s nothing but death and destruction around you.

“
Exactly,” I say, pulling her to me.

We stand there, in the middle of my living room, her in my arms, as I curse myself for being the stupidest man on the planet.

The one place I had left to go, to drown my sorrows and numb my body, will soon be inhabited by the woman who drives me to the brink.

Chapter Seven

Lacey

Wyatt dropped me off an hour ago, but I haven’t said a word about his offer. It’s not that I think they would be upset about it, because of who he is. They like Wyatt, and even had their Sunday school class adopt his unit, sending them care packages and letters of encouragement. But he’s a guy… and I’m not sure if they know how I feel about him.

They’re not the type to pry. Privacy and personal items are a luxury around here, since everything is community property, so my thoughts, and the few possession I do own, like my skates, belong to me alone.

“
I found an apartment,” I say.

Mom and Dad simultaneously look at me, joy on their face. “That’s wonderful,” my mom cries, setting her knitting on the couch. She’s making a new hat for me, in the colors of my team. Red, black, and pink.

“
Wyatt is such a blessing to have in our lives,” my dad says, patting my mom on the leg. “I knew he’d be able to help. How much?”

At least they’re in a good mood. “Two hundred.”

My mom’s eyes widen. “That includes everything?”

I nod. “Yes.”

“
Is it in a safe neighborhood?” When I hesitate, my dad sighs. “I know, I know. I shouldn’t label, but you’re a single woman, and… we have to live in reality that the world is still a dangerous place.”

“
It’s very safe.”

“
Can we see it?”

I nod. “Yes.”

My dad gives me an odd look. “What aren’t you telling us, Lacey?”

“
In order to have a nice place, I have to have a roommate,” I begin, and my parents look at each other, then back at me.

“
Have you told her about—?”

“
My roommate already knows about my… about what makes me.” I swallow the word
special
. I want to chew it up and spit it out, make it so unrecognizable that it’s never used to describe me again. I don’t want to be special. I want to be normal.

“
She does?”

My heart stutters. “
Wyatt
knows enough, and he’s used to my… to me.” Even if it’s embarrassing, even if living with him will make me entirely vulnerable, and potentially drive him away further, I have to do it. What other choice do I have? It’s either him or a stranger—a stranger who would be within their rights to break our lease. At least, in my head they would be.

At least Wyatt wouldn’t do that to me. He’s not that kind of person. Anyone willing to give up their life for two years to fight in a war, which is quickly becoming less and less newsworthy the longer it goes on, can’t be that kind of person.

Or so I hope.

“
Wyatt Tanaka is… you’ll be living with him?” my mom asks, her cheeks heating.

“
As his roommate
. He has a two bedroom, two bathroom condo.” I make myself look at my parents’ faces, taking the time to gaze at each one. “We searched and searched, and there’s nothing in my price range. With him, I don’t have to worry about credit checks, leases, or…” My mind blanks on the items Wyatt had listed for me to tell my parents. I try again, “Or if the neighborhood is safe. His building even has a security door and a guy at the downstairs counter.”

“
All those things you listed are very good things. Under any other circumstances, what you described would be perfect for you and put our minds at ease,” my mom says.

“
I have no other options.”

“
You could move in with Aunt—”

“
No.” There’s no way I’ll move in with Aunt Davida. She thinks it’s a sin that I wear short skirts while I skate, and makes no bones about it, though she does let me borrow her car. She’s one of those people I have a hard time figuring out.

My dad nods. “She’s right, Sandy. Davida is rather old-fashioned and wouldn’t let Lacey make her own choices.”

“
But moving in with the man she’s in love—”

“
He doesn’t feel that way about me,” I blurt. Guess they do know how I feel after all. “Last night, I introduced him to my teammate Ella. They went out together.”

“
Oh,” my mom says, obviously reconsidering. “He went on a date with her?”

“
He went to Cunninghams with her. It’s a bar in Charlotte.” I don’t bother to say that the majority of the team was there with him, because it doesn’t matter. I know all too well what it feels like to be the center of his gaze. To feel like the only person in his world. To think that nothing else matters but his next words or smile, and that he thinks the very same about me. “They have a lot in common.”

“
Your mother and I need to pray about it, and then we’ll talk again. Is that fair?” my dad asks.

It is. I know I’m old enough to be on my own, but I respect my parents enough to hear them out. But, for once, I won’t let their guaranteed objections sway me.

I’ve already made up my mind.

Chapter Eight

Wyatt

It’s been a week since I offered to let Lacey to move in with me, and she’s still waiting on her parents to give their opinion. In the meantime, I’ve kept working at the Tanaka’s south of Charlotte. The less I see of Lacey until we move in together, the better.

Besides, I don’t want her to try to set me up again, though she hasn’t mentioned Ella to me. Maybe Ella didn’t say anything to her.

Settling back in the leather club chair, I glance at the clock and then at the window as I repeatedly tap my thumb against my leg. I’ve blown off my last two appointments with Dr. Lewis, and if I blow off a third, his rule is that I have to find another head doctor. And as Ella so eloquently put it…
I don’t have time for that
.