Witch Is When the Penny Dropped (8 page)

Chapter 11

I woke up the next morning, full of the joys of spring. My date with Ryan had gone really well, and although it was meant to be a work assignment I was optimistic it might develop into more than that. What? Who are you calling a floozy? Look, I know it might look as though I had four men on the go, but let’s be honest. Luther and I were dead in the water. Jack blew hot and cold. Drake had issues he needed to deal with. That left the path clear for Ryan—the love of my life.

There was a frantic pounding at the door of my flat. Maybe Luther had seen the error of his ways, and wanted to try again with me?

I should be so lucky.

“Mr Ivers?” Mr Ivers was my boring neighbour.

“Jill, you have to help me!”

I’d never seen him look so distressed. Or so wet. He looked as though he’d climbed out of a swimming pool—fully dressed.

“What happened?”

“There’s been some kind of water leak in my flat. Everything is soaked.”

What was it with the water leaks? Gina Peel had moved out because of one, and now poor old Mr Ivers seemed to have a plumbing problem.

“Have you turned the water off?”

“I don’t know how. All of my movie journals have been ruined. What will I do? They’re irreplaceable.”

Every burst pipe has a silver lining. What? Don’t pretend you hadn’t thought the same thing.

“You go and find the maintenance guy. He’s usually in that little office in the basement. I’ll go see what I can salvage in your flat. Is the door unlocked?”

“Yes.”

“Okay then. Get going.”

Poor Mr Ivers. He hadn’t been kidding about the water. Everything was soaked. There wasn’t much I could do about the furniture, but maybe I could help with the only things he really cared about. I found his journals on the table in the kitchen. Who knew he had so many? I carried the sodden books out into the corridor, and laid them side by side. There were fifteen in total. I could hear footsteps in the distance, so I knew I wouldn’t have much time. I cast the ‘take it back’ spell—one of the first spells I ever learned.

The maintenance man, Charlie Marley, appeared with Mr Ivers in tow.

“Make way!” He hurried past me into the flat.

Mr Ivers stared at the journals with wide eyes. “How?”

I managed to get them out before they got too wet.” I lied.

“But they were saturated. I saw them. They were ruined.”

“Doesn’t look like it does it?” I opened up the one closest to me. “See, dry as a bone. You must have panicked.”

His expression was a curious blend of confusion and delight.

“Oh, Jill—I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you.”

You could start by never talking to me ever again. What? It’s not like I actually said it out loud.

***

Before I went into the office, I decided to make a call to Love Spell. I was keen to report back, but even more keen to arrange a second date with Ryan.

“Is that Hilary?”

“No, it’s Milly.”

“It’s Jill Gooder.”

“Morning, Jill.”

“I’m calling about my date with Ryan.”

“Actually I just came off the phone with him.”

Wow! He was even keener than I was. This was a very good sign.

“Did he say when he wanted to meet up again?”

“Actually, he said he didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?”

“Want to meet up with you again. He said you weren’t a match.”

“Are you sure? I thought the date went well.”

“Not from his point of view. He actually said—err—it doesn’t matter.”

“Go on. Tell me.”

“He said it was the worst date he’d ever had.”

I was so stunned I ended the call right there. How had I got it so wrong? I thought we’d really hit it off. He hadn’t done or said anything to make me think we weren’t compatible. Was I really so delusional? Ten minutes later, when I’d composed myself, I called back.

“Milly, it’s Jill again. Sorry about that. I had to take another call. Look, I have to say I’m surprised by Ryan’s reaction. I thought the evening had gone well. Anyway, it does make me wonder if there might be something untoward going on. I’ll stay on it and let you know if I find anything.”

***

“You have to do something about that noise,” Mrs V said, as soon as I arrived at the office.

“What is it?” It sounded like some kind of machine, and it was coming from next door.

“I’ve no idea. It started about twenty minutes ago. I can hardly hear myself think. How am I meant to write my book or knit?”

“Or do any work?”

“Exactly. It’s impossible. You’ll have to go around there and talk to them.”

“I will, but there’s something I need to attend to in my office first.”

“You mean that stupid cat.”

“If I don’t feed him, my life won’t be worth living.”

“Please hurry up. I can feel one of my migraines coming on.”

Once inside my office, I started towards the cupboard where I kept the cat food.

“Never mind about that!” Winky screamed at me.

This had to be some kind of weird dream. That could be the only explanation for Winky telling me not to bother with his food.

“You have to do something about that noise. How am I supposed to finish off ‘Bruce’ with all that racket going on?”

This was probably the first time Mrs V and Winky had ever seen eye to eye. In Winky’s case, just the one eye obviously.

“How am I meant to write,” he said while holding his head. “Your five per cent is at stake here.”

“It’s ten.”

“What is?”

“My cut. We agreed ten.”

“Are you sure?”

I pulled out the pocket recorder and hit play:
‘Ten or I get the old bag lady to do it. Okay, ten it is’
.

I’m no mug. I left nothing to chance where Winky was concerned.

He shrugged. “Must have slipped my mind. All the more reason to go round there and put a stop to that noise.”

The noise was coming from an office in the same building as ours. It had previously belonged to a company which specialised in the importation of pogo sticks. They’d been bounced out of there by Gordon Armitage to make way for his law empire. I knocked on the door. There was no reply. I wasn’t sure if that meant there was no one home or if they simply hadn’t heard me because of the infernal noise coming from inside. After two more attempts, I tried the door—it was open.

Inside the room was a giant machine which looked like an industrial printing press. Standing next to it was a young woman wearing huge ear defenders. She was singing something, but I couldn’t make out what.

“Hello!” I yelled at the top of my voice.

No response.

“Hi, there!”

Still nothing.

I walked over to the machine. Once I was standing in her line of sight, I waved my hands around.

“Hi.” She mouthed the word.

“Can you switch this thing off?” I yelled.

She made a gesture which indicated I should wait. Moments later, she hit a big red button and the machine ground slowly to a halt.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you,” the young woman said. She’d taken off the ear defenders which were now looped around her neck. “What did you say?”

“I asked you to turn this off.”

She smiled. “Oh, right. Sorry.”

“I’m Jill Gooder. I have the office next door. We can’t hear ourselves think in there.”

“I’m not surprised. I told him this was a stupid place to put Bertha.”

“Who’s Bertha?”

“That’s what I call this old gal.”

“Who decided to put it here?” As if I didn’t know.

“Mr Armitage.”

“Gordon?”

“I’m not sure. I never know which one of them is which.”

“Handkerchief in his breast pocket?”

“Yeah that’s the guy,” she said. “I don’t trust a man with a handkerchief in his pocket.”

“Really? Me neither. Why did he insist on putting Bertha here?”

“No idea. It took an army of men to move her here over the weekend. We used to be in the basement which was a much better spot. Look, I’m sorry about the noise, but there’s not much I can do about it. I don’t like it up here, but I’m the only person in the office who knows how to use this monster.”

“That’s okay. I’ll take it up with your bosses.”

I’d had an idea.

I went outside, and made my way around to the alleyway which ran between my building and the one behind it. I knew which window I needed, but there was no convenient fire escape to get me up there. Grandma’s words came back to my mind—
‘it’s all about spell selection’
. The roads at either end of the alleyway were busy, and the alley itself was a popular thoroughfare. I didn’t have the luxury of time, so I’d have to resort to the ‘jump’ spell. First, I put in a call to Mrs V, and told her that I needed her to get the operator out of the room just long enough for me to get in and ‘work my magic’.

I made the call.

“Mrs V?”

“Hello?”

I’d forgotten to take into account that Mrs V was a bit deaf at the best of times, and even more so now she had the noise of the printing press to contend with.

“Mrs V! Can you hear me?”

“No need to shout, dear.”

Give me strength.

It took me a while, but in the end I brought her up to speed.

“I need you to get around there now!” I shouted.

“Do you want me to go next door now?”

“Yes!”

“Pardon?”

“Yes!”

“I’m on my way.”

I checked the alleyway—it was clear. I’d only have one chance to get this right.

I cast the ‘jump’ spell and leapt towards the building behind mine. I judged it just right. From there I bounced back and forth until I landed on the window ledge outside the room with the printing press in it. The glass in the window was frosted, but I could see a shape moving around inside. Moments later, the shape disappeared. Mrs V had done her part—now I had to do mine. The window was partially open—presumably because of the large amount of heat generated by the machine. I pulled it open and climbed inside. I could see two figures out on the landing. Mrs V was no doubt confusing the operator with some story or other. I unplugged the machine, cast the ‘power’ spell and then lifted it, and carried it to the opposite wall. Then I cast the ‘invisible’ spell and made myself disappear—just in the nick of time.

The operator stared at the wall where the machine had once been, and then at the machine which was now on the opposite wall. Then for several moments, she glanced back and forth between the two—desperately trying to work out what had happened.

Still looking confused, she picked up the landline, and made a call.

“Mr Armitage. It’s Belinda. Yes, that’s right: ‘the printing woman’. There’s something funny going on up here. The machine has moved. Of course I’m sure. No, I haven’t had a drink. Can you come and take a look please?”

All the time she was talking, she had her back to me. I took the opportunity to pick the machine up again and move it to the outer wall. When she ended her call and turned around, she looked horrified.

“What’s all this about?” Armitage said when he burst through the door.

“It’s moved again,” she said without taking her eyes off the printing press.

It was Armitage’s turn to look confused.

“It was over there.” He pointed to the first wall. “Did you move it?”

“How could I have moved it? It was there, and then there and now here.”

“The machine can’t have moved itself.”

“It just did.”

“Well, never mind. It’s perfectly all right there.”

“I’m not working in here.” The operator started for the door. “This room is haunted.”

“You can’t leave.”

“Watch me.”

“But—you’re the only one who knows how to operate this beast.”

“Tough. I’m off down the job centre.”

“Wait! I’ll have it moved back to the basement.”

“I’m not using it until you do.”

“I’ll get it done tonight.”

Yes! Result!

Chapter 12

Mrs V was all smiles when I got back to the office.

“How did you manage that?” she asked.

“I asked Gordon Armitage nicely.”

“I know that’s not true. That horrible man would never do anything just because you asked him to. Whatever you did, thank you.”

Winky was hard at work on his manuscript—no word of thanks from him, but what had I expected?

“You might be getting a call later from a Wayne Starr,” he said, without looking up.

“Another publisher?”

“Nah. This guy wants to talk movie rights.”

“I don’t know anything about negotiating movie deals.”

“You don’t know anything about being a P.I., but you always seem to bluff your way through.”

Cheek of the cat.

“Same fifteen per cent cut?” I said.

“It’s ten.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course.”

It was worth a try.

An hour later, when Winky had decided to take a nap and allow me access to my computer, I was going over the Peel murder and the Love Spell cases.

Just then, the door to my office flew open.

“You can’t go in there!” Mrs V shouted.

“Just watch me.” Alicia slammed the door closed behind her.

“Nice of you to drop in,” I said.

“Cut the smartass, Gooder.”

“I take it this is not a social call. On your way to do some lawyering?”

“See. That’s what I mean. You just can’t control that mouth of yours can you?”

Winky was awake now, and he began to hiss at the intruder.

“What is that thing?” Alicia pulled a face. “What did you do to its eye?”

Winky hissed even louder.

“That’s Winky. He knows a rat when he smells one.”

“I’ve tried the nice approach with you,” she said. “Now I’m warning you. Call off your minions.”

The nice approach presumably being the time she poisoned me.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“I’m not an idiot. I know what you and Daisy Flowers are up to.”

Alicia was either braver than I’d thought or way stupider. Calling Daze by her real name was not a good idea.

“Those idiots you have tailing me couldn’t be more obvious if they were wearing clown paint and big clown shoes.”

“Is that all you came here to say?”

“No. I thought it only fair to warn you that if you insist on pursuing this pointless investigation then there’ll be consequences.”

“Is that a threat?” I laughed. “Bring it on. Do your worst.”

I really should learn to keep my big mouth shut.

“Your actions may have dire consequences for others.”

“Others? What others?”

“I believe you know Raven.”

“Where is he? What have you done to him?”

“He’s okay.” She glared at me for the longest moment. “For now at least.”

“If you lay a hand on him—”

“You’ll what? Don’t make threats you can’t back up. Do you honestly think you’d be a match for those with real powers?”

“Who are ‘those’ exactly? What do you know about TDO?”

“I’ve said what I came here to say. Just be careful—I’d hate to see you get hurt.” Her smile was even scarier than her angry face.

“Well thank you for calling. If you ask Mrs V politely on the way out, I’m sure she’ll set you up with a nice scarf.”

“Who was that horrible person?” Mrs V asked after Alicia had left.

“Just someone I had coffee with once.”

“What did you do to upset her? She was ghastly—a right little witch.”

I wasn’t sure if I should let Drake know what Alicia had said, but in the end decided it would serve no purpose, and would cause him even more worry. Instead I called Daze who was busy in the latest of her ‘cover’ jobs—dog walker.

“I can barely hear you,” I said.

“Sorry, Jill. I have you on earphones. I need both hands to keep hold of this lot.”

“How many dogs are you walking?”

“Seven. It should have been eight, but the Shih Tzu had the runs. It’s not as if I even like dogs. What did Alicia have to say?”

I brought Daze up to speed as best I could—given all the barking.

“I’m not happy that she spotted her shadows so easily,” Daze said. “I’ll have to kick someone’s ass. I’ll see about getting some new people assigned to her. I might even pull Blaze off what he’s doing and get him onto it.”

“What happened to the werewolf you were trailing? It was a full moon last night wasn’t it?”

“Total disaster. He gave us the slip—again. Goodness knows what havoc he might have caused last night—I’m still waiting for the reports to come in. Stop that!” She shouted at the dogs. “Sorry, Jill, I’ll have to go—we’re almost at the park. I’ll never be able to keep hold of them, and talk to you, once we’re in there.”

“Okay.”

“One last thing though, Jill. You really need to find Raven. I fear for his safety.”

“I’ll do my best. Bye.”

***

After my encounter with Alicia I needed to get out of the office for a while. Not that anyone would notice my absence. Mrs V and Winky were both too engrossed in their respective literary endeavours.

I’d really enjoyed the coffee I had at The Coffee Triangle, so thought I’d pay it another visit. On the back of the loyalty card, instead of pictures of coffee cups, there were little images of the instruments—a nice touch, I thought.

It hadn’t taken long for someone to take over the premises which had, until recently, been Rod’s Rods. There were two builders’ vans parked on the pavement outside, and scaffolding covering the front of the building. I pressed my nose against the window to try and see what was going on inside.

“Nosey, aren’t you?” Grandma appeared at the door of the shop. She was wearing a yellow hard hat.

“Nice hat.”

She gave me ‘that’ look.

“Is this your place now?” I said.

“We’re going to knock through from Ever A Wool Moment.”

“Business must be booming.”

“It is, but that’s not the reason for the expansion. I’m going to open a small tea room, so the punters can have a drink while they chat and knit.”

“It was very fortunate that the shop next door became vacant.”

“It was, wasn’t it? The poor man seemed to have a run of bad luck.”

She’d been responsible—I was sure of it. The flood, rats and power cuts—it had to have been her doing.

“Anyway,” she said. “Apart from sticking your nose into my business, what are you doing? Haven’t you got any cases you should be working on?”

“As it happens, I’m working on two cases right now. I was on my way to that new coffee shop around the corner. Have you seen it?”

“I haven’t seen it, but I’ve heard it. Damn row with their stupid drums and gongs.”

“I quite like it.”

“You would.”

What was that supposed to mean? I didn’t get the chance to ask because she disappeared back inside the shop. Grandma’s empire was expanding. Not satisfied with ruling the world of yarn, she was now moving into the tea room business. I just hoped she didn’t decide to open shop in Candlefield. Cuppy C wouldn’t stand a chance against her marketing machine.

***

I felt much better after a latte and ten minutes banging on a drum. I’d been a little disappointed only to get a snare drum, but the tenor and bass drums had already been snagged.

In between writing chapters of her book, I’d had Mrs V track down the name of the maintenance company who looked after the apartment block where Gina Peel used to live. The man who’d been called out to the leak in her apartment was apparently called Joe. He covered a number of buildings in the Washbridge area, so we’d arranged to meet in the car park outside of Ultimate Plumbing Supplies—a superstore for the plumbing trade. I spotted his van which had the word ‘WIMPS’ in large letters on the side. Only when I got closer did I see the full name: Washbridge Industrial Maintenance and Plumbing Services.

I pulled up alongside and gave him a wave. He smiled, climbed out of the van, and came over to my car.

“Jill Gooder?” He had an accent which I couldn’t place.

“Hi.” I climbed out of the car and shook his hand. “Thanks for agreeing to talk to me.”

“No problem. Rather be talking to a pretty lady than have my head stuck under an ‘S’ bend.”

I smiled. It was reassuring to know that I compared favourably to the underside of a sink. Joe was middle-aged with a beer belly, but he had a certain charm.

“Yeah, I remember that job.” He said while rubbing his stubbly chin. “Mind you, I probably wouldn’t have remembered it if it hadn’t been for that woman being murdered. Nasty job that. Is that what you’re investigating?”

“Yes. I understand the water got into the electrics, so she was forced to move out.”

“That’s right. It wasn’t a big job. One of the pipes from the tank had come loose. Only took me a few minutes to sort out.”

“Did you notice anything unusual?”

“Not really.”

“You don’t sound sure.”

“Well to be honest, I’ve never seen one of those pipes come loose like that. Once they’re fixed in place, they usually stay there.”

“Could it have been loosened deliberately?”

“It’s possible, but I couldn’t say for sure.”

“Has anyone else talked to you about this?”

“What? Like the police you mean? No. You’re the only one.”

I thanked Joe, and he drove away in his WIMPS van. I couldn’t help but think he must have got some stick from his friends over that acronym.

I knew fate could be a strange thing, but I’d always been bothered by the fact that Gina Peel was killed in an apartment that she’d only moved to temporarily because of a water leak. Now Joe had suggested that the leak might have been caused deliberately, I was even more intrigued. I had to find out more about the apartment where she died.

***

Normally I’d go out of my way to avoid Betty Longbottom—there was only so much sea shell news I could stand. But the poor woman was obviously struggling as she hobbled along the corridor in front of me.

“Are you okay, Betty?”

She turned to face me. The grimace on her face answered my question.

“Hi, Jill.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” She managed a smile. “It’s nothing. My own silly fault really.”

“What happened?”

“Norman and I had a day at the seaside.”

“Looking for shells?”

“Yes, and bottle tops.”

“Of course.”

“Anyway, I insisted on paddling through the rock pools. Norman told me he’d seen a few large crabs around, but—well.”

“You got bitten?”

“Not bitten—pincered. It was enormous, and it had a hold of my big toe.”

“Ouch.” Just the thought of it brought tears to my eyes.

“What happened? Did Norman pull it off?”

“He wanted to, but he’s allergic to crustaceans. They bring him out in a rash.”

“Nasty.”

“I managed to shake it off eventually, but not before it had made a real mess of my toe. It’s all red and swollen, and the nail has turned blue. Would you like to see it?” She started to take off her shoe.

“No!” I yelled a little too loudly. “It’s okay. Where is Norman?”

“He’s at his place. The shock brought on his bad stomach, so he’s staying in bed for a while.”

“Poor you. Well I’d better get going. I hope your toe gets better soon.”

Back inside my flat, I decided to scrap my original plan to go out for a sea-food platter.