Words Heard in Silence (43 page)

With her free hand she placed Charlie’s hand on her own hip. "It is all right Charlie, I need your touch too," she whispered, feeling just a little nervous.

Charlie's breathing was rapid and shallow. Her eyelids fluttered to half closed as Rebecca's fingers closed around her always sensitive breast. Charlie could feel her nipples tightening till they ached. Charlie's hand gently stroked up Rebecca's side, a long, sensuous stroke that traced from her hip, along her waist, up her ribs and came to rest with Charlie's thumb stroking the tender skin beneath her breast. "You are so beautiful."

Her words and her touch sent chills all over Rebecca’s body. "God, Charlie, I have never felt anything like this before. It feels so good." She brushed her thumb over Charlie’s hardened nipple. She realized that her own were becoming erect and very sensitive.

Charlie's body curled around the hand that was driving her insane. Each stroke of Rebecca's thumb went straight from her nipple to her core. Charlie dropped her head to Rebecca's shoulder and tenderly kissed her neck.

Rebecca’s head moved to the side giving Charlie as much room as she needed to nibble and caress the hollow of Rebecca’s throat. A soft moan left Rebecca’s lips when her eyes slid shut. Rebecca felt dizzy. Knowing that sitting upright for much longer was not an option, she began laying back, making sure to hold tight to Charlie. "Yes." She moaned again.

Charlie slid her arm under Rebecca's shoulders and eased her down to the quilt. Never taking her lips from the throat and shoulder, Charlie softly covered Rebecca's body with her own. The feel of the slender form under her, the length of their bodies pressed together drew a long, shuddering sigh from Charlie.

"I love you, Charlie." Rebecca managed to gasp out even as she tugged on the belt of Charlie’s robe and slipped it from her shoulders. "Tell me how to please you."

"My love, my love. Anything. Touch me." Charlie slid her hand around Rebecca's breast, gently rolling the already hard nipple between her fingers. "Just touch me. Hold me."

She moved to Charlie’s neck and began exploring there with her lips. She loved the feel of the soft skin under her lips. It amazed her how loving and tender this was and how much she wanted to be here with this woman. Her hand slipped back to Charlie’s breast and grasped the warm weight through the material of the nightshirt. She threw her head back and moaned when she felt Charlie touch her nipple. "God!" She gasped and she felt a rush between her legs.

She felt her body responding to her lover. She brought her leg up and it settled between Charlie’s legs. She was going to shift until she heard a long deep growl from the woman.

The feel of Rebecca's thigh against her own aching need drove Charlie to the point of no return. "Oh, God, please, please." Charlie moaned. Her hips started to move in slow rhythm. Her hands wrapped themselves around Rebecca's shoulders, holding on for dear life, as Charlie quivered in Rebecca's arms. She buried her head in Rebecca's shoulder. "Please."

"Yes, Charlie, it is all right, my love." She whispered in her ear. "I have you, darling, let go. I will protect you."

The force of Charlie's hips against Rebecca’s thigh increased. Then Charlie's body stiffened, pressing hard into Rebecca. A high pitched, stifled cry, half sob, half sigh broke from the woman's throat. "Rebecca." For a moment or an eternity, Charlie lay rigid in Rebecca's arms as the universe exploded through her body. Then she sank, boneless into Rebecca's arms. "Oh, God. Oh, love." Reverent, shattered, Charlie whispered in Rebecca's ear.

Her arms wrapped around the woman and she sighed herself, quite satisfied that she had pleased Charlie. "I love you." She whispered. "I will never love another like I love you."

Charlie was embarrassed. "I am sorry. I did not want to startle you or push you too much. It is just that every night I have held you and wanted you and....I love you so much, Rebecca." In a smaller voice, "I need you so much."

"Shhh……" She comforted her, gently stoking her back and combing fingers through hair that still needed to be cut. "I wanted this too, Charlie. I wanted to know if I could please you, make you happy. You have helped me understand a great deal tonight with your gentleness and your patience."

"Patience? You touch me and I explode like a rocket! It was unlike anything I have ever felt before, dear heart."

Rebecca worked her way from under Charlie and shifted until she was lying in Charlie’s arms, her head resting on her shoulder and her hand slowly tracing over her stomach. "I just needed to know I could please you. That I would be enough for you." She did not quite know how to explain her feelings. She cuddled closer, feeling Charlie’s arms tighten around her. "I felt like such a failure in my marriage. My husband did not desire me. He did not love me and I never pleased him." She fought hard against the tears that wanted to spill.

Charlie hugged her close when she felt rather than heard the sob Rebecca choked back. "Mr. Gaines was a fool. You are amazing, dear woman. Your compassion, kindness and ability to give of yourself in these uncertain times when it would be easy to turn your back on all those around you is astounding."

"I think you are biased."

"I, my dear, am very biased. You are beautiful and I desire you very deeply. Your touch excites me, your kisses set me on fire and now I find that I have not the strength to resist you even for a moment when you hold me and want me."

"I will admit that I was confused and unsure of it all. But when I opened my eyes and you were there, everything became so clear. I realized that I could never find what I have with you with anyone else. I intend to hold onto you forever."

"I will be yours for the rest of my life, dear. But what confused you, love?"

"All of it. You were here and so charming, wonderful and kind. You were what I dreamed of for a life and a home. But, Charlie, you have to admit that ours is not a conventional relationship. I had to know and understand that. That everything I wondered about just did not matter in the whole thing. I love you; it matters not to me that you are a woman under your disguise. But I had to find that. I had to understand that it just does not matter to me."

"What convinced you, darling? I have always thought that because I was not what I seemed, that I was something that our society reviles, I thought I would spend my life alone. You are, to me, a miracle."

She sighed and pulled herself up to look into Charlie’s eyes. "I cannot tell you what it was. Maybe it was your kindness, your tenderness, your fierce loyalty to service and duty." She shook her head. "I do not know, all I do know is whatever it was, I have fallen head over heels for you. I cannot wait for our life to really begin together. I will be proud to take your name and call myself your wife."

"And my gender? What of that, dear? You know there are things that I can never give you, things that most men do not even have to think twice about."

"I assume, dear Charlie, you are speaking of children? You should know that if we want them bad enough and are faithful, one way or the other we will be blessed with children. But if having children should never come to pass, I will still happily live my life with you. You are my family now, Charlie. All that I have. All that I want."

"Rebecca, my love. You are the family, the love I dreamed of and thought I could never have. You are the miracle in my life."

"Then it seems that we have everything we need, Charlie." She giggled and poked her in the ribs. "Maybe one of these days I will even live down the stigma of having married a Yankee."

Charlie rolled over onto her back and covered her eyes with her hand. "Ah, the shame of it all."

Rebecca chuckled and pulled Charlie’s hand from her eyes. "I am sure I will survive it."

Charlie rolled onto her side so she could look directly at Rebecca. "Are you really? You know, it could get unpleasant." She stroked Rebecca's cheek. "I do not ever want to cause any unpleasantness for you."

The blonde ran her hand down Charlie’s arm. "My dear, I have survived a war. Nothing can be as unpleasant as that. I believe our life together will be wonderful."

The gentle stroke raised goose bumps on Charlie's skin. Her voice became husky again. "What of you, dear heart? As much pleasure as your touch brings me, I would also love to give you that pleasure."

Rebecca shivered at the thought and smiled. "Charlie, what I want from you right now is to be with you. I love you and I want to experience everything you have to offer, but I must admit I am nervous. No one has ever effected me like you do."

Very gently, Charlie stroked Rebecca's arm, caressing the tender skin on the inside of her elbow and wrist with just the tips of her fingers. "I am right here, love. All you have to do is ask me and if I do something you are not comfortable with, then tell me."

She nodded, a nervous smile still playing on her lips. "I have a question for you."

"Anything, love."

"The other night……when you……well……" she had the good grace to truly blush and look away for a moment. "How often do you do that?"

Charlie blushed from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes. She laid her head down on Rebecca's shoulder and rested her hand gently on Rebecca's hip. In a choked whisper she finally figured out how to answer. "I used to do it occasionally, usually when being lonely got too bad. Now. Ummm. When the need to touch you and be touched by you gets to be more than I can handle without breaking my word to you." She lay there, expecting Rebecca to draw away.

She sighed and held Charlie as close as she could. "I just wondered. I have never……un……well, I have not."

Charlie ran her hand from Rebecca's hip up her ribs until again her thumb rested on the tender skin under her breast. "What do you feel, dear heart? You talk about 'these feelings,' so tell me about them."

She gave a small nervous laugh, "my heart beats faster, my stomach flutters wildly and I get a warm feeling all over my body."

Charlie traced small circles on the very sensitive skin with her thumb. "Does this bother you?"

She released a half moan half sigh and her eyes closed slowly. "No. Not at all."

"Tell me what you feel. Tell me what you want."

"I feel warm all over. My heart is beating so hard I feel light headed……" She licked her lips, trying to breathe normally, "I do not know what I want. I have never been asked."

Softly, Charlie let her thumb slide up and caressed the obviously hard nipple beneath the thin material of her nightgown. "You can use your imagination, love, and if you find you do not like something, tell me."

Rebecca gasped softly. "I do not know anything other than being……" She stopped, refusing to say the word. She knew Charlie would never hurt her like she had been hurt before, but still she had no idea and she was afraid this fact would disgust Charlie. Fear was starting to war with the new feelings of arousal.

Charlie stopped immediately. "Tell me, love. I want to know. I need to know what you are feeling, and more importantly, what you are afraid of."

Rebecca noticed immediately Charlie had stopped touching her. She smiled and tried not to look disappointed. "My husband never cared how I felt. Never cared that he hurt me. Never tried to be tender. I am afraid I really do not know much about the more intimate matters of life. Especially with someone like you, who is so kind and tender with me." She laughed a little. "If you came in, pushed me to the bed and did what you would, that I would understand."

Softly, Charlie started stroking Rebecca's cheek, neck and shoulder. "I want to come to you with gentleness and with all my love and want and desire and tenderness. I want to gently explore every inch of your body, first with my fingers, and then with my lips. Then I want to bring you to the absolute height of physical excitement and passion, so that at least for a moment, you will know how much I love you, how much my heart and soul and body longs to be linked to you."

"And I want that so much. I am just afraid that I will not please you."

Gently but firmly, Charlie drew Rebecca's face so that she had to look into her eyes. "There is nothing you can possibly do that will not please me. All you have to do is touch my body with your hand - anywhere - and a fire runs through me. You kiss me and I ache for you. You caress my breasts and I tremble with need. When you entwine our bodies together, so close, so sweet, I soar to heaven."

"Is there not some part of you, that would like to have a wife who is more versed in loving? Who is not terrified that she’s going to do something wrong? I am truly damaged goods, Charlie."

Charlie dropped her head and very gently kissed directly over Rebecca's heart. "I want no one other than you. And you, I want very much. You are no more damaged goods than any other woman with no experience of loving. Few women have experience in loving another woman. I think I would like to try and heal the hurt he dealt you with my love and loving, sweetheart." Her lips brushed gently over the swell of Rebecca's left breast. A soft puff of warm air engulfed Rebecca's nipple.

Uncontrollably, Rebecca’s body arched toward Charlie and she moaned. Her hand found the base of Charlie’s neck and she felt herself even more engulfed by the tingling sensations in her body.

Charlie caught the tight nipple in her lips and traced the fine tracks of the puckered flesh through the thin gown. She cupped Rebecca's other breast in her hand, using her thumb to softly caressing it, circling the taut nipple with the lightest of caresses.

"Charlie……" She felt her body responding. She was shaking under Charlie’s touch. She was powerless to do anything but squirm under her lover’s caress. Her hands roamed over Charlie’s body as she enjoyed what was happening.

Charlie looked up at Rebecca. "Does this scare you, love? Shall I continue or would you like something else?"

"Not scared," she managed to get out, as her brain tried to come back to itself, "warm, very warm."