A Brief Moment in TIme (16 page)

THE VERDICT WAS IN, and Gavin was in shock from the news he had received. Just as he’d sat waiting for his verdict almost eighteen years earlier, Gavin waited again that morning for the parole board to make an important decision about the course of his life. They must have liked what they heard in the interview, because instead of telling him he was eligible for a day pass every couple of weeks, they saw fit to grant him full parole. Gavin wasn’t sure how he responded. He might have mumbled a thank-you; he couldn’t remember.

The spokesperson for the small group of men and women explained that given his exemplary behavior and the fact that he had a home to go to and a family that had shown support consistently over the years, they were releasing him to his family’s care. It would be house arrest, in essence, and he would have to report to a parole officer every two weeks. He wasn’t allowed to travel more than two hundred miles in any direction from his farm. He had a number of other restrictions as well, such as abstaining from alcohol and drugs, but Gavin understood the reason for their concern.

There were plenty of rules to abide by, but he didn’t care. He was going home! His parents had been notified and were on their way to pick him up. His prison term was officially over. He had a couple of hours to gather up his stuff and say goodbye to the other men before he met with the warden one last time. He could sum up how he was feeling in a word.
Numb
. What was happening didn’t seem real. Although, from what he’d learned about reality, that didn’t surprise him.

Saying goodbye was difficult. Expressing emotion wasn’t something prisoners did, but he could see it in the eyes of the men that he called his friends. It was hidden behind jokes and slaps on the back, but it was obvious they cared and obvious they believed they’d never see him again.

The warden had a few kind words to say. He’d been a fair man, and Gavin respected him. After that, as Gavin sat alone in the warden’s outer office, he couldn’t help but look back on his time at Swenton. As he did, a desire began to grow. He knew—had known for years—that he wanted to give back and make amends for the crime he’d committed. As he sat waiting, an idea began to take shape in his mind.

He would be coming back. He didn’t know when or how, exactly, he simply knew he’d be back. He wanted to help others with what he’d been given. First, however, he would need to learn all he could about Kate’s program, her unique teaching. Then he’d look into coming back as a volunteer to help the men at Swenton.

Maybe this is the reason for my dreams
,
he contemplated.
Maybe I’ve been selfish, thinking this is only about a relationship with Kate. I’ve learned so much, and now I’m in a position to share that information with others. I could be a mentor to the other men, encourage them and pass on what I’ve learned.

My time here isn’t over
.
It was a strange thought, yet one that gave him a sense of purpose and fulfillment as well as immense satisfaction. He was excited about his plan and eager to learn more about Kate’s teaching. And he knew what he needed in order to begin.

KATHRYN HANDED the slip of paper to Adele as she walked in the hospital room the following day. Adele stared at the note, words forming silently on her lips. After several seconds, she asked the obvious question. “Who is this?”

“Adele, I don’t know of anyone else by that name,” Kathryn declared. “Doesn’t it seem strange that I wake up from weeks in a coma, having dreamed of someone named Gavin, and right away a person named Gavin calls? It’s kind of freaking me out. I don’t know what to do.”

“Is this all there was to the message?”

“Yes, and there’s another strange thing; look at the date on the message—it’s the day I came out of the coma, but I just received it yesterday.”

“Why would he only leave a first name? No last name or contact information? It’s like he expected you to know him.”

“I know,” Kathryn shuddered. “It’s really weird.”

“Did you mention your dreams to anyone else, any of your family?”

“No, but I was thinking the same thing, that someone was just…playing a joke.” She paused. “Please say it wasn’t you.” She knew deep down that her friend would never stoop to such a hurtful practical joke, but she needed to hear it.

“I would never do that!” Adele exclaimed.

“I’m sorry.” Kathryn regretted her accusation. “I know that; I really do. I’m just trying to sort this out, examine every possibility, that’s all.”

“All right, then,” Adele said, having moved on and already deep in thought. “Why don’t we work backward in solving this? Let’s assume that there is a man named Gavin—the very one you met in your dream. You had detailed information about him. You knew his file. He was at Swenton, right?”

“Yes, I see what you’re saying!” Kathryn was excited to have some direction. “Let’s find out if there is a Gavin McDermott at Swenton.”

“Exactly.”

“Adele...” Kathryn stopped to think through their plan of action. “What if there is? What do I do if there is actually a man named Gavin McDermott incarcerated at Swenton Prison?”

“Obviously you’re not going to call him out of the blue and tell him you’ve been dreaming about him,” Adele laughed.

“Or pay him a visit,” Kathryn added, aware of how ludicrous it sounded.

“We’re getting ahead of ourselves.” Adele put the situation back in perspective. “Let’s take one step at a time and trust that the next step will reveal itself. Who knows? We may still find a reasonable explanation.”

Kathryn had tried to think through all the “reasonable” explanations. She had asked one of the nurses about the possibility of her getting the note by mistake. She was more than willing to believe that it was meant to go to someone else, someone who did have a friend or relative named Gavin. The nurse followed up on it; she even talked to the girl who had taken the message. It had been several days, but the girl remembered the conversation. She said the man had definitely inquired about Ms. Harding’s condition and was hesitant to leave a message, but then changed his mind and told her to say that Gavin called.

“Will you call Swenton for me?”

“Why don’t I try right now?” Adele looked at her watch. “It’s going to drive you crazy until you know something. It’s only four o’clock there. I might be able to get someone in administration.”

“What are you going to say?” Kathryn was as nervous as she’d ever been. “They might not give out information on the prisoners.”

“If not, then we’ll find another route,” Adele assured her.

Kathryn waited anxiously as Adele went down to the main lobby to use the phone. If someone by the name of Gavin McDermott was a prisoner at Swenton, she had no idea what she was going to do about it. If not, they were back to square one, wondering who had left the message.

The minutes seemed endless as Kathryn waited to hear what news, if any, her friend would return with. She searched Adele’s face as she entered the room. Adele looked perplexed, and Kathryn knew she’d learned something. “What did you find out?” she demanded eagerly.

“There is a Gavin McDermott,” Adele shook her head as if she didn’t quite believe what she was about to say. “He’s been at Swenton for the past seventeen and a half years. But…” she took a deep breath before she continued. “He’s not there anymore; he was just released.”

“Released?” Kathryn repeated. “Fully released already? Did they say if he’s had any partial release, any day passes?”

“No, and they wouldn’t give me a forwarding address or any particulars about his time at Swenton.”

Kathryn’s head was swirling with the new information, but just as quickly, she was making a plan. “Can you do more research for me? His parents’ names are Carol and Richard. They’ve lived on a farm near Redding since Gavin was little. He has a sister named Sandra. I don’t know her married name, but she’s a nurse.

“There must be a way to get information on prisoners,” Kathryn continued, barely stopping for a breath. “See what you can find. The incident took place in Redding. It was gang related. Check back to see what news stories you can find. It was nearly eighteen years ago; fall of 1992, I believe.”

Adele was scribbling down information as fast as Kathryn spoke.

“He’s thirty-five, maybe thirty-six by now. His middle name is…” Kathryn probed her memory, trying to recall information she’d read about him in his file. “I want to say Richard, after his father, but I don’t think that’s right. I think it’s Edward. Try both names.

“He’s well over six feet and weighs, I don’t know, two hundred and twenty, maybe more. Much of it is muscle; he’s in very good shape.” Kathryn could see his body in her mind, and again she felt passion stir within her. Suddenly she wanted him to be real, wanted him to be the Gavin she’d come to know—the Gavin she’d fallen in love with.

Chapter 16

GAVIN WATCHED eighteen years of his life fade away as he exited the gates of Swenton Maximum Security Prison as a free man. He felt strangely calm now, but his parents were overcome with emotion at the suddenness of his release.

“You’ll need some things,” his mother declared, not even trying to hide the excitement in her voice.

“The basics, I guess,” Gavin agreed. “I could definitely use some new clothes. No stripes, though,” he laughed. It was a joke, of course. Prisoners at Swenton wore regular clothes, but they were prison issue with no style or individuality.

“There’s something else I’d like to get,” he added hesitantly, not wanting to take advantage of their kindness. “…if you don’t mind.”

“Whatever you need, Gavin, don’t hesitate to ask,” his father assured him. “It’s no problem. Don’t worry about money either.”

“It’s not the money.” Gavin had saved most of the paltry wages he’d made in prison, and he was given a sum from the government upon release. Over all it wasn’t a lot, but it would help him feel somewhat independent until he could find a job. “I mean, I want to pay for my own things. What I’d really like to get is a computer. Do you mind if we look around today?”

“Of course we can do that,” his father replied. “Do you know what you want?”

“No, not really,” Gavin shrugged. “But I’m sure we can find someone knowledgeable.”

With those objectives, they went to one of the city’s mammoth shopping malls. For his parents it was a labor of love, but for Gavin it was an adventure. Buying new clothes was enjoyable, but shopping in an electronics megastore was a dream come true; he had no idea the kinds of things that existed in such a place. He kept the sales clerk busy for much longer than most people took to buy an entire new home entertainment system. Gavin left the store that afternoon with a laptop computer and a wealth of knowledge that would be invaluable in the weeks to come.

KATHRYN RETURNED HOME recovered in body, stable in mind, but wavering significantly in spirit. Her life had been turned upside down. Her work at the university had been suspended while she was in the hospital, and now it looked as if it would be terminated. Her team had found other employment. Adele had gone back to private practice. It was as if everything she’d worked so hard for had crashed with her in the car that day.

Beginning again felt overwhelming. The rehabilitation program had been Kathryn’s sole focus since her husband died. Now she didn’t know where to turn or what direction to take, other than setting up her own practice again as Adele had done.

It had been years since she’d been in private practice. Working with people was what she loved, but it was her belief in the program she’d developed, her conviction that it could radically change lives and transform the nation’s penal system, that had driven her, nearly consumed her. Now she wasn’t sure she had what it would take to pick up the baton again.

On top of the confusion over what to do with her life, she had the knowledge that everything she’d had Adele verify about Gavin was true. The problem was, Kathryn had absolutely no idea what to do with the information.

Whenever she thought about the program, she thought of Gavin, and whenever she thought of Gavin, she grieved the loss of what could have been. Not so much for herself. It had been so much bigger than just a relationship. She realized that now. Ultimately, Gavin represented the success of her program. Without Gavin, there was no success, no program, and sadly, no hope.

She tried to pull herself together. She knew that the principles she wanted to share with prisoners to help transform their lives were the very things that could help her too.

It was easier, somehow, to see the sty in someone else’s eye than to see the log in her own. Other’s problems seemed apparent and the solutions clear-cut, while her own issues were muddied and confusing. Nevertheless, as the wisdom of the age-old book stated, she needed to take the log from her own eye before she could see clearly to help others.

Kathryn realized she not only wanted but needed the kind of counseling she offered others. It was an easy choice to turn to Adele. She made the appointment with her secretary, knowing Adele would be hesitant to see her in a professional manner. She’d been Adele’s boss and had more years of experience in the field of psychology, but Adele was gifted. She understood and taught the same things Kathryn did, plus she knew what Kathryn had experienced while in a coma. Adele was the obvious person to help her sort things out.