A Saint for Life (17 page)

{37}

Gabe

One Week Later

“So where are you going?”

“Out with Emily,” Zoe yelled through the closed bathroom door.

“So why are you getting yourself all pretty then?” She was taking an awfully long time in the bathroom. I think she has brought her whole drawer of make-up to my hospital room by now.

“Can’t I look nice for a night?” She opened the door and popped her head out. Her hair was on top of her head in a messy bun.

“You always look nice,” I wheezed. It was a little hard for me to breathe.

“You okay?” Zoe looked concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thirsty.”

“Good! I don’t want to have to worry!” She shut the door again.

I stared at the closed door. I didn’t want her to worry either. She always worried.

Looking over at my cup of water, it looked much farther away than it was. I tried to sit up but my back felt like it weighed a lot.

“I just can’t wait for tonight. It’s going to be so much fun. It’s been so long since I’ve gone out or even had a girls’ night with Emily.” Her voice was loud even though the door was shut.

It made me really happy to see how happy Zoe is. She seemed really excited for tonight. I was thinking that it probably would make her sad if I told her I wasn’t feeling good.

So I just won’t tell her.

“Are you going to be okay here by yourself until Christian gets here? You’re lucky he’s coming to see you the night before the big game! Don’t forget to wish him luck. I really hope they win.”

I reached for my cup of water, but it wasn’t easy.

“Yeah, I will be, and I won’t forget. Zoe, they’ll win the championship. They always do with Christian.”

My hand was around the cup, but it was hard to grab it. The feeling in my hands was starting to go, and it felt as if none of the muscles in my arms were working. It was scaring me.

I stared at the door. I couldn’t tell Zoe. I couldn’t. She’s been so happy. I couldn’t ruin this night for her. I’ll be fine.

God please let me be fine. I don’t want Zoe to worry.

Finally wrapping my fingers around the cup, I brought it in closer to me. Tilting my head down, I moved the cup closer to my lips. The cup was shaking, and before I could get a sip, it just fell out of my hand. Water spilled all over my shirt.

I hurriedly moved my blanket up to my chin. I didn’t want Zoe to see the mess I’ve made. She would probably wonder what was wrong.

The wet shirt made my skin cold. I buried myself as far under the blanket as I could to stay warm now too.

“What do you think?”

Zoe walked out of the bathroom.

“Wow. You look really pretty!” I tried to fight back my tears. I was scared. Something was really wrong, but I couldn’t ruin her night.

“Are you sure it’s okay I leave for the night?”

“Yes. I’m tired anyways. I’m just going to sleep.”

“Okay. But you know I hate leaving you.”

“I know. I love you, Zoe.”

“Aw, Gabe, I love you too!”

She grabbed her purse, and I watched as she walked out the door.

“God, please help me. Please let me be okay,” I prayed and rubbed my thumb and index finger around the necklace that Chris got me.

{38}

Zoe

I bragged to Emily about how well things were going with Christian now as we sat up at the bar. I haven’t really seen much of her since the game because of all the excitement.

“So what were his parents like?”

“They are really nice! They’re still here actually!”

“What, really? Why?” She was shocked.

“His mom has been so helpful! They wanted to stay around to help, I guess.” I took a huge sip of my margarita.

“Yes! That’s good! I’ve always found that meeting the parents is very nerve wracking.”

“Well, it also helped I was in an entire other world when I met them, considering—”

“Yes, true! I still cannot believe how that all went down! He told me about it two days before, and I had to bite my lip every time I talked to you!”

“What! I can’t believe
you
were able to keep a secret like that!” Emily couldn’t ever keep a secret.

“I know! Me too! I’m proud of myself.”

“Was it wrong of me to leave Gabe tonight?”

“No, don’t start with that. You know he’ll be fine.” Emily reassured me.

“I just feel so guilty when I leave him.” I sighed.

“Ladies, what can I get you?” the bartender interrupted while staring at our almost empty glasses.

“Two double shots of Fireball and two Bacardi’s with pineapple.”

“Woah! Look who’s back in the game!” Emily laughed.

“Hey, I can drink every once in a while!”

“I know. I just haven’t seen this side of you in a long time.”

The bartender laid the shots down in front of us.

“To happiness!” I held up the shot glass.

“To happiness!” Emily touched hers against mine, and then we both threw it back.

“Ugh.” I swallowed deeply and drank a sip of my drink. “Maybe we should have done single shots.”

“I’m just so happy you are happy.”

“Me too.” I started to think about everything.

“I just can’t get over last week. Sometimes I still cry happy tears thinking about it. How lucky am I to find a guy like him? He’s so good to Gabe and me for everything that is going on in our life. Ugh, here I go.”

“Oh my God, stop crying. We’re out at a bar,” Emily joked.

“I’m sorry! I can’t help it!”

“I’m just kidding. I know. I don’t know how I would have acted if I were you. It’s really amazing everything that he did. Seriously though, the amount of money that has been raised too!”

“I know! Plus it just keeps coming. I went to the bank with Christian the other day, and we opened up a separate account just for donations. But Emily, now I don’t have anything to worry about! I’m still so overwhelmed. It’s still so hard to believe.”

“The power of kindness is truly amazing.”

My phone started going off, interrupting our conversation. As I answered and listened to what was being said on the other end, I don’t know if I was in more shock, or if the alcohol was starting to get to me, but I had to run to the garbage to throw up.

“Emily, we need to leave. We need to leave, like, right now.”

“Do you seriously have that low of a tolerance?”

“It’s Gabe.”

I stared at Emily with great despair, but she pushed me out the door and quickly was able to flag down a cab.

I watched the other cars drive by and the scenery of the trees through the window. I thought the day my father died would be the only day I would feel like this, but just like that, within seconds, my entire world had shut down again.

{39}

Christian

I had an entire night planned out for us. I was going to take him to the basketball court, out in back of the hospital to shoot a few baskets with his friend Johnny, and then we were going to spend the rest of the night watching some of the greatest sports movies. I had no idea that tonight was going to end up how it did.

I sat outside of the room speechless. I couldn’t breathe; I couldn’t think; I couldn’t even bear to call Zoe myself and tell her the news.

I continued to replay what happened in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop wondering if there was something I could have done to prevent this from happening.

We were all set to go outside. I walked out of the room to talk to Danielle while Gabe used the bathroom. I was gone for not even five minutes, but when I came back, there he was, on the ground beside the bed.

“I need some help in here! Someone help!” I yelled out into the hallway as I bent down beside him on the ground.

“Please don’t go. Hang on, buddy. Hang on. Do it for Zoe. You’re strong.” I bent over him. His face was pressed up against the floor, and his body was limp. The doctors, nurses, and some staff ran in and started to push me out of the way.

One of the nurses pushed me out of the room and then shut the door in my face. I paced back and forth before I was able to sit down.

Twenty minutes have gone by, and Zoe still wasn’t here yet.
Where was she?
I was panicking. Sharp pains were present throughout my entire body, and I started to have an anxiety attack.

Dr. Sheehan opened the door and pulled her mask down. “Is Zoe here yet?”

“Not yet. Is he okay? What’s going on?” I could barely speak.

“I think I’d better wait for Zoe.”

“No, I need to know, especially if it’s urgent.”

“It’s getting bad. I need you to get down to the lab ASAP to have your blood tested again. He needs surgery tonight. He needs a stem cell transplant too.”

“What if I don’t have strong enough test results?” I couldn’t grasp what was going on.

“Well, he’s still on the transplant list, and in that we’ll continue to search. Your DNA was a match. We just need to see if you have a high enough white blood cell count, among other things, to know if it would work.”

“What if my numbers are close? Can we still do it just to try?”

“I’m afraid not. If his body ever rejects the bone marrow…well, just get down there now and get tested.”

I stood there and stared. What if his body rejected the bone marrow anyway?

“Go! Get moving! We need to hurry!” Dr. Sheehan pushed me down the hall. She explained the process if I were to be the perfect match. While passing Gabe’s room, I took a peek inside. He was hooked up to even more machines now, and his body was close to the color of  his white pillows.

“Hang in there, Gabe. I’m going to save your life,” I whispered and then continued to follow the doctor down the hallway.

“God, please let me save his life,” I said aloud.

{40}

Zoe

I ran into the hospital faster than I've ever run before. If I were in a race right now, I probably would have won. Getting the news that your brother collapsed will make you sober up real quick. Arriving at his room, I stopped outside the door and stared in. He wasn't awake, and the nurses were drawing more blood. I cried heavily.

“Where's Christian?” My voice screeched when I spoke to Danielle, who was standing in the corner away from the other doctors. Her hand covered her mouth and her other dabbed her now teary eyes. Since she was so personally invested in Gabe's life, the staff wouldn't allow her to work on him anymore for fear her attachment would prevent her from doing her best job.

She looked around. “I actually don’t know.” She gasped. “He was standing right outside, I thought.”

I couldn’t sit still.

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on? Is Gabe going to be okay? Please tell me!”

Just then, I spotted Dr. Sheehan coming around the corner, and then I heard my name being called from the other direction. It was Christian’s mom. I looked at her and then ran toward Dr. Sheehan.

“How is he? What’s going on? Don’t leave anything out.”

“To get right to the point, he needs a bone marrow transplant immediately. We think we have a match. We are just doing further testing to be sure.”

I broke down. “How am I not a match? I’m his family. It doesn’t make any sense. Test me again!”

“Zoe, that unfortunately can happen. This happens all the time. Family members aren’t always a match.” Dr. Sheehan put her hand on my shoulder. “We are going to do everything we can.”

“Where the hell is my mom? Where in this world is she? Why isn’t she here saving her own son’s life?” I wiped the hateful tears from my eyes. Emily stood on one side of me and Christian’s mom to the other side. They both looked very distraught.

“Let me know as soon as you hear anything, please. He’s the only family I have left.” I tried to calm myself down.

“I will.”

I turned around, and Christian’s mom embraced me, and I wept in her arms.

“Where’s Christian?”

“Wait, you didn’t see him? He’s the one who called me to tell me.”

“No, I got here and he wasn’t in the room. No one seems to know where he is.” I grabbed a tissue from the table next to us and blew my nose.

“He found him. I can’t imagine it was easy for him. He’ll show up soon. The night we found out about James, he disappeared for a while. It’s how he deals with things like this. Here, come with me.” She grabbed my hand and walked me down the hallway.

We entered into the chapel where we sat in an all too familiar pew.

“This is where I sat when my dad was dying. I prayed and prayed and prayed, but he didn’t make it.” I sighed.

I couldn’t stop crying even if I tried. I haven’t even told Christian the details from when my father died, but somehow I was finding it easy to trust his mother.

“I find comfort in God’s presence. But Zoe, Gabe will survive this. They’ll find a match real soon. I know they will. Can I show you something?”

“Yeah, sure.” I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and grabbed another tissue. I was getting very congested from all of the crying.

His mom opened her purse and pulled something out. It looked like it was a picture, but she stared at the back of it for quite some time before turning it over.

“I carry this with me everywhere I go. It’s a picture of the boys. It was taken the day before we lost James. We took it on the quad when James moved in. Did my boy ever tell you the full story of what happened?”

“No, he didn’t. We haven’t really talked about the details of my father’s death much or his brother’s, just that they’re no longer with us.”

“We had just left him at school. We didn’t leave the area, but we had just said goodbye. A few of his roommates went out drinking that night and asked for him to pick them up. Since he always wanted to be a good friend and put others first, he didn’t refuse. He was headed to pick them up when he saw a car on the side of the road with its lights flashing. Luckily, he brought a friend he had just met with him who could tell me exactly what happened that night. He went to the car to see if the people needed any help. The man in the driver’s seat appeared to have had a heart attack.”

The story sounded all too familiar to me.
It couldn’t be.

“They didn’t know how long he was sitting there before they found him. James went to go run back to the car to grab his phone to call 911, and as he was running toward the car,” she paused, “a drunk driver came around the corner.”

She flipped the picture around and I stared at the picture before me. I looked at the two boys, one of whom had a face I have never been able to forget. I replayed what she was saying over and over in my head. I replayed everything that has happened between Christian and me. I replayed the night my father died over and over.

I looked over to the pew I sat in that very night. I closed my eyes and the memories came flashing back to me.  I remembered the way he held my hand when I started to cry, how there was a sense of calmness in his voice, and how even through a dark time, he somehow managed to make me smile.

That little boy who consoled me as my father was dying in the hospital, the boy who remained anonymous to me—it was Christian. Which meant the young man who tried to save my father’s life, who gave me those few last few minutes with my father, was James.

I looked up at the cross on the altar and then did what I only knew to do in that moment—pray.