A Woman's Wisdom: How the Book of Proverbs Speaks to Everything (3 page)

The only way we could ever perceive God’s ways to be
un
pleasant is if we are self-centered rather than God-centered, self-seeking rather than Christ-seeking, self-exalting rather than Christ-exalting. It all comes down to whose agenda runs
our show.

4) Wisdom Is Primary

Committing ourselves to the pursuit of wisdom is itself a step of wisdom.

Wise women are governed by the principles of God’s Word, not by their feelings, hormones, or enjoyments. Sounds simple, but it’s actually quite difficult, because we tend to collapse the two into one. In other words, we equate wisdom with whatever makes us feel best. We set the compass of our lives toward the happiest-looking circumstances, assuming that doing so is the wisest course. The difficulty is exposed in thinking like this: “It will be better for the kids if we divorce, since we just fight all the time when together.” And this: “In order to get emotionally healthy, my counselor says I have to give full vent to my anger.” And this: “I’ve been so depressed lately, so this trip to Belize is a must, even if it makes me late with the mortgage payment.” That sort of wisdom does not come from God. It comes from our natural passions. But the more we come to be characterized by the fear of the Lord, the less likely we will be to mistake worldliness for wisdom.

5) Wisdom Is Hospitable

In Proverbs 9 we find an invitation to a dinner party, which Wisdom is hosting. If you’re anything like me, this is something you can relate to. Many of us love everything about preparing a special meal for those we love. We take delight in deciding what to serve and how to set the table, and when the day of the party comes, we awaken with anticipation. Before any of this begins, of course, we must issue the invitation. Which special friends will we include? Wisdom’s invitation differs from ours in that it goes out to those who aren’t yet friends:

Wisdom invites fools to dinner, and those who RSVP with a
yes
will dine on insight. We find other invitations in Scripture that give us a fuller biblical picture of this invitation in Proverbs. Here is one from the prophet Isaiah: “Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food” (Isa. 55:1–2). And the fullest picture of all comes from the mouth of Jesus himself: “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst” (John 6:35).

The full biblical picture reveals that accepting Wisdom’s invitation means coming to Christ. The young men who first read the proverbs didn’t have the fuller picture that we have, but they understood that following Wisdom leads
to life.

how?

As soon as we come to Christ, we’re included in the dinner party, and the feasting begins. We have the bread of life. That sounds nice, but what does it mean, exactly, that Jesus is “the bread of life”? We believe it’s true, but if we’re honest, many of us don’t fully understand what it means. Studying Proverbs is a good way to grasp it. The only way to successfully tackle the dos and don’ts of practical wisdom that dominate the book, beginning in the very next chapter (Proverbs 10), is by leaning into and resting all that effort upon Christ, the perfect wise man, who has already “done” wisdom for us.
³
So, as we sit down to partake of Wisdom’s feast, we do so leaning on Christ, which is what Jesus meant when he said, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger.”

Guard Your Heart

The first practical step forward on the path to wisdom involves our hearts:

All too often this verse is applied to romantic relationships, which misses the whole point. Certainly it is true that guarding our hearts in a romantic relationship is always wise, but this verse is really about guarding our hearts in the fear of the Lord. If we are going to become increasingly God-centered women, it is essential that we keep a close eye on all that can
influence us.

One way to guard our hearts is to be alert to the enticement to sin that comes our way through those who don’t fear
the Lord:

We must be alert to it, but we must also turn away from it. Wise women shun evil counsel; they don’t stop to ponder the pros and cons of giving in. That’s the mistake Eve made. When the Serpent came to her in the garden of Eden to entice her, she didn’t shun his counsel; she lingered and engaged him in conversation about it. And Proverbs 1:8–19 exposes what resides in the hearts of those who follow ungodly paths—greed for the fulfillment of fleshly desires.

Another way we guard our hearts is to be discerning about whose advice we seek and take. This doesn’t mean that we shut our ears from ever listening to the advice of an unbeliever. God has equipped all mankind with particular gifts and talents for the good of his creation. If it’s medical advice we need, we are wise to seek out the best advice we can get, whether it comes from a believer or an unbeliever. The same is true when it comes to financial advice or guidance concerning real estate or any number of things, so long as the expert has a reputation for integrity. At the same time, expertise aside, wise women will never take any advice that runs counter to biblical principles.

We must be diligent to guard our hearts, because from them “spring the issues of life.” The choices we make, for good or ill, are determined by our hearts. Jesus said that “out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander” (Matt. 15:19). It may seem like we are driven to sinful choices through outside influences or adverse circumstances, but it is always and only our hearts that make us sin. As the apostle James wrote, “Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire” (James 1:14).

In light of this, we’d stand no chance were it not for our union with Christ. But in that union, by means of the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, our hearts are progressively transformed, just as Jesus promised: “The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:14). This spring of water wells up and out into godly choices. In order to live wisely, we must choose to do so, and in Christ, we can. Taking the side of folly is therefore unnecessary, and it always results in suffering and regret:

Cultivate Humility

Another way we grow in wisdom is by cultivating humility. Proverbs 2:6 says that from
God’s
mouth, not our mouths, come wisdom and understanding. An attitude of humility recognizes that whatever real wisdom we acquire comes only through our union with Christ. Since Christ is, himself, wisdom from God, how could our wisdom have any other source? When I was twenty years old, I thought I knew everything. When I turned thirty, I realized there were a few things I hadn’t quite figured out yet. Not until my forties did I realize that I really know very little. For all of us, it is so often the case that the older we get, the more we realize how little we know, and perhaps this is an indicator that we are finally, by God’s grace, beginning to grow in wisdom.

Perhaps you know what I’m talking about from personal experience, or maybe you see it played out in the world around you. Just think about your recent cruises along the highway. Have you noticed that younger folks are inclined to take greater risks while driving? When a car whizzes past us at 85 mph, more often than not the driver, fingers tapping furiously over a handheld miniature keyboard, is under twenty-five years old. Such blatant disregard for driving laws has less to do with a deliberate nose-thumbing at authority than it does with the mistaken belief that nothing will happen to them. But no matter our age, holding to a belief that we’re in control of our surroundings or circumstances is the antithesis of humility. Humility looks
like this:

Jeremiah was a wise man, but he was also humble, as evidenced from his prayer: “O L
ORD
, I know the way of man is not in himself; it is not in man who walks to direct his own steps” (Jer. 10:23
NKJV
). Humility is a prerequisite for wisdom, which is what Jesus was getting at when he said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 5:3). Trusting in ourselves rather than trusting in the Lord leads inevitably to chaos and confusion, which is why James wrote, “Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. . . . For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice” (James 3:13–16). Notice the link James makes between humility (meekness) and godly wisdom. He also makes a link between selfish ambition and worldly wisdom, which leads to demonic chaos. Ongoing disorder in our hearts, minds, and lives may well be a tip-off to an absence of humility.

The psalmist shows us the posture that accompanies all that wise women plan and do: “Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the L
ORD
our God” (Ps. 123:2). Proverbs puts it
this way:

As disciples of Christ, we are servants of God, and as servants, we keep our eyes on him and receive our instructions through his Word. Recognizing our servant status is the essence of wisdom.

Acknowledge God’s Sovereignty

Acknowledging God’s sovereignty over everything goes hand-in-hand with humility, because only when both are present in our hearts will we depend on God. Practicing the fear of the Lord—living in wisdom—recognizes that God is in control of everything, from the election of presidents to the affairs of our personal lives. When we are young, still living at home with our parents, we begin to dream about how we want our lives to go, and we start to plan how to make those dreams come true. Additionally, we are encouraged from an early age to set goals, so we do. And since we live in a culture where achieving personal goals has been comparatively easy, we are prone to disappointment when our plans don’t work out. Inevitably, one or more of our goals is going to get derailed. A young woman goes off to college fully expecting that she will be engaged by graduation, or accepted into a good program for a post-graduate degree, or wind up with the job of her dreams. When some—or all, as the case may be—of those plans fail to materialize, the college graduate feels bewildered and wonders where things went wrong.