A Woman's Wisdom: How the Book of Proverbs Speaks to Everything (2 page)

What drew you to pick up this book? Most likely, it’s that there’s something about the idea of wisdom that appeals to you. It just draws your heart.

It is true that there is a certain wisdom that only age can confer, but outside of God and his Word, even that must be suspect. That’s because there is no truly reliable wisdom apart from God. To know and trust him
is
wisdom. The way we get this wisdom isn’t by living a long time. Nor is it found by trying our best to follow the paths of wisdom that are set before us in the book of Proverbs. Even if we were able to follow those paths, which we are not, we would fail to lay hold of true wisdom. It is found only in Christ,

Do you know Christ? If you really know him, you belong to him. It couldn’t be otherwise. If you get nothing else from reading this book, get this: Christ became for us wisdom
from God.

Because the book of Proverbs provides us with a poetic road map of how God has designed the world to work, following its practical day-to-day guidance will surely make your life more pleasant. But disconnected from its divine source, even this will prove hollow in the end. That’s what King Solomon, the primary author of Proverbs,
found out.

In his better days, King Solomon was indeed the wisest of men. As a young man and newly crowned king, he had prayed for the ability to govern God’s people wisely, and God had answered him mightily, so much so that “the whole earth sought the presence of Solomon to hear his wisdom, which God had put into his mind” (1 Kings 10:24). People came from all over the known world to get his advice. Over time, however, Solomon began to give his heart to the worldly rewards of his wisdom rather than to the source of it, and this wisest of all men did some horrendously foolish things. The same thing will happen to us if we try to use Proverbs as a spiritualized means for self-improvement.

Improving our lives is not the objective of Proverbs, even though following its instruction will generally better our lot. The point of the book is to direct us to the Giver of wisdom. Jesus said concerning himself, “The queen of the South will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and behold, something greater than Solomon is here” (Matt. 12:42).

Wisdom is a person, and wise is what we become through our union with him. The outworkings of wisdom—its fruit—discussed in the following chapters are all rooted in this truth. I echo the hopes of the
apostle Paul:

Advice books are no short-lived trend. They continue to top best-seller lists, and new how-to releases get clicked into Amazon shopping carts hundreds of times each day. The popularity of such books isn’t likely to wane, even though the “wisdom” of much of what’s offered is transient and proves shallow in the long run. How-to books wouldn’t be nearly so popular if people would just embrace the wisdom of God’s ways, but whenever God’s ways—the how-tos of Scripture—are rejected, even shallow alternatives are going to hold appeal.

The problem for so many of us is that we want a formula: three easy steps to the good life. In the midst of meticulously scheduled lives, it is much easier to cruise through the McDonald’s drive-thru than to prepare a well-balanced dinner. For the same reason, it is often much easier to digest a quick read on our problem
du jour
than to take time to dig into God’s Word. We don’t “have time” to get to know him. Maybe tomorrow, we think; today we just want a few pointers on how to minimize stress, balance the budget, and get the kids to behave.

A glance through the book of Proverbs shows us just what we seem to need—short, pithy how-tos in Twitter-like blurbs. However, if we approach Proverbs with a quick-fix mind-set, we are going to miss the overarching point of the book: getting to know and learning to love the Author of wisdom. It is only through knowing and loving God—what Proverbs calls “the fear of the L
ORD
”—that we will understand how to apply its practical how-tos.

We women need practical advice for life, but even more than that, we need hearts set on the One who governs all our practicalities. The book of Proverbs unlocks the key to both. Its wisdom is timeless. Although the book of Proverbs was written to particular people—primarily young men in ancient Israel—its wisdom and the necessity of obtaining it are the same in every age for both men and women. What changes are the circumstances in which to apply it. We may not face the difficulties that ancient women did, but we do face very real challenges:

• practicing biblical womanhood in a world that scorns us
  for it;
  
• keeping sexually pure in a sex-saturated society;
  
• handling our freedom, independence, and material resources wisely;
  
• maintaining God-glorifying marriages;
  
• elevating biblical priorities ahead of day-to-day pressures.
  

Some may be surprised to learn that Proverbs addresses all these things. In fact, there is no area for which we need wisdom that Proverbs doesn’t address. That’s because all wisdom is summed up this way: “The fear of the L
ORD
is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight” (9:10; see also 1:7
NKJV
). Once we get this—and embrace it—we will find ourselves equipped to handle the how-tos.

In your hands is a book for women on the wisdom to be gleaned from the book of Proverbs. You will find nine chapters that you can read alone or in a small-group setting with the accompanying study guide at the back of the book. What we will see as we take a close look at Proverbs is that all true wisdom springs from the fear of
the Lord.

Part 1, “What Is Wisdom and Why Does It Matter?,” is based on chapters 1–3 and 8–9 of Proverbs. Here we will examine why pursuing biblical wisdom, what Proverbs calls “the fear of the
LORD
,” is the primary calling of every Christian woman. Women of wisdom are
those who:

• acknowledge God’s sovereignty over everything that comes
  to pass;
  
• submit to God’s ordering of the world;
  
• cherish Christ above
  all else;
  
• trust in the goodness of God’s character;
  
• guard their hearts in biblical truth.
  

One of the ways that Proverbs shows us the blessings of wisdom is by contrasting wisdom with folly, so we are going to look not only at characteristics of the wise but also at characteristics of fools.

Part 2, “Six Things Wise Women Know,” applies biblical wisdom to six aspects of a woman’s life: (1) her words; (2) her friendships; (3) her physical appetites; (4) her emotions; (5) her money; and (6) her sexuality.

Part 3, “A Portrait of Wisdom,” offers a biblical illustration of all we will study in parts 1 and 2. The focus here is on the woman in Proverbs 31:10–31. Some women are either intimidated by this woman or dismissive of her, but we will see why she isn’t at all intimidating. An understanding of how she fits into the overall teaching of Proverbs eliminates any intimidation and can inspire a love of wisdom in specifically feminine ways. May we find ourselves becoming more like her for the good of our families, our churches, and our communities, and for the glory
of God.

At the end you’ll find a study guide. You can use it on your own as you are reading through the book or for small-group discussion. One of the questions accompanying each chapter is marked with
. These questions require more in-depth study and will take a bit longer to complete. If you want more room to interact with the study guide, you can download and print a larger copy for free at
crossway.org/awomanswisdom
.

As Christian women living in the twenty-first century, we aren’t likely to face many of the tricky difficulties that confronted ancient Israelite women. Just think of Queen Esther, who had to learn how to get along in a harem of women whose only calling was to please the king with their beauty. Even after Esther became queen, the cost of displeasing her king-husband was death. Other Old Testament women dealt with slavery, such as Hagar, and having to share a husband with another woman, such as Rachel
and Leah.

Our problems, while less life-threatening for the most part, nevertheless pose tremendous challenges for which we need the same wisdom that ancient women needed. But we want to do more than merely minimize stress and ward off unnecessary difficulties; we also want to please God in every aspect of our lives. This is one way in which biblical wisdom differs radically from worldly wisdom. The world’s wisdom centers on how people can please themselves and maximize every pleasure. The wisdom in Proverbs isn’t
un
concerned about our enjoying life as a gift from God. That’s the beauty of it—as we put into practice the wisdom of Proverbs, we find that God’s ways work at a very practical level; life does tend to run more smoothly. As this happens, God is showcased as the all-wise one, and he is glorified.

That’s the wisdom we need. We need it for how to be homemakers in a world that fights us on it. We need it for how to be single when we don’t want to be. We need it to live godly lives in a culture of boundless freedoms, independence, and wealth. (Economic hardships in the West do not compare to economic hardships in other parts of the world.) We need the wisdom of Proverbs for how to live biblically when we are immersed in a culture of shallow entertainment options and easy divorce. We need it to make good choices for how to school our kids and for how to navigate our ever-increasing virtual world on the Internet.

We are going to touch on all that, but before we can see how to apply the wisdom of Proverbs to our individual life situations, we need to see exactly what the Bible means by
wisdom
. Where does wisdom come from? Proverbs tells us clearly:

That, of course, logically leads us to ask, What is the fear of the Lord? Pastors tell us it means “awe,” but if that is always what it means, why don’t we just use the word
awe
—“awe of the Lord”—instead of the word
fear
? Well, the Hebrew of this word
fear
means both “terror” and “reverence.” However, the
terror
part tends to get downplayed because it is hard to reconcile the idea of fear with a loving God. Still, I think we are too quick to discount the terror aspect in “the fear of the
LORD
.” If we look carefully at Scripture, we see that sometimes fear means just that—fear.

Consider the case of the prophet Isaiah, who, after seeing God, said, “Woe is me, for I am undone!” (Isa. 6:5
NKJV
). His vision of God” certainly didn’t evoke happy feelings.

Then there was Jesus’s mother, Mary. When the angel Gabriel came and told her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women,” she was troubled at his saying, which led the angel to say to her, “Do not be
afraid
, Mary, for you have found favor with God” (Luke 1:26–
30
NKJV
).

There is also the example of Moses. When he came upon the burning bush, God called to him from the midst of the bush and said, “Moses, Moses! . . . Take your sandals off your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground.” And Moses responded by hiding his face, for “he was
afraid
to look at God” (Ex. 3:4–6). So we see that fear is sometimes awe that is mixed with terror.

What’s interesting is that Isaiah, Mary, and Moses all experienced fear as a result of God’s drawing near to them. It seems clear that some who have been brought exceptionally near to God have experienced fear in the process. Why is this true, since God is a kind and loving God? Here is why: when sinful people come truly close to God, they see more of who he truly is—holy, as well as loving. In fact, his holiness is part and parcel of his lovingkindness rather than separate from it. The closer we get to God, the more we will see the reality of who he is and who we are in relationship to him. So if you are one of those who has experienced that kind of fear—the terror kind—it should be seen as good news, not bad news, because it is the sort of fear that leads to a true grasp of your need for Christ.

This recognition of our sin before a holy God is what makes us crave a Savior, and when we cast ourselves upon him to fulfill that craving, we will move beyond just merely understanding the doctrines of the Christian faith in our minds to living them from our hearts with deep joy. All this is why the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. It’s because real wisdom is found only in Christ. Wisdom is the realization that he is everything.

After we are driven to Christ through this kind of fear, we can understand the sort of awe and reverence that pastors use to describe the fear of the Lord. We are able to know God as kind, wise, fatherly, holy, powerful, all-knowing, and compassionate
only in Christ
. It is this view of God that inspires our awe—and our pursuit of wise living or, said another way, holiness. A wise pastor asked us to
consider this:

So, with that in mind, let’s look at what it means to live wisely. What is wise living?

To live wisely is to orient everything about ourselves and our lives around God rather than around ourselves. Wise women are God-centered, not self-centered. As we orient ourselves around God, our tastes and interests will change, and we will increasingly love what God loves and hate what he hates:

To live wisely is also to love righteousness. But do we? If we’re honest, we have to admit that, even as Christians, a part of us doesn’t hate sin. Why else would we continue to practice it? We hate the horrible effects of the sin we see in our world, in our children, and in our own lives, but we will hate the sin itself only as we grow in the fear of
the Lord.

characteristics of wisdom

Now that we have established where real wisdom comes from—the fear of the Lord—we can more fruitfully take a look at some of the particular characteristics of wisdom.

1) Wisdom Is Clear

Wisdom is clear; in other words, it is not hard to find or
figure out:

“I’ve found that to be true for some things,” you might be thinking, “but the Bible doesn’t provide black-and-white answers for everything. How is wisdom ‘straight’ when it comes to the gray areas of life?” We are tempted to wonder about that at times, but since it’s the Bible that says wisdom’s words are all straight, it must be true. The trouble is the way in which we use Scripture to look for wisdom. We want to open our Bibles and find a verse that will correspond directly to our problem and provide a solution. But that’s not how we get wisdom. Finding that wisdom is “straight” comes from immersing ourselves in Scripture—all of it, not just a passage here and there—and as we do, it shapes our understanding about all of life. If we make a habit of Scripture immersion, we will find, when confronted with one of life’s difficulties, that the wisdom we so desperately need will come to us a lot more easily. Wisdom is indeed clear, but its clarity doesn’t come in a three-easy-steps sort of way. The more we soak ourselves in God’s Word, the more we will be able to readily lay hold of the wisdom we need for particular circumstances.

Sometimes, despite a thorough soaking in Scripture, much prayer, and the seeking of godly counsel, we still find ourselves perplexed about what to do. But that doesn’t mean that biblical wisdom is unclear. It just means that we haven’t yet grasped its clarity! At such times, we do well to simply wait
for it.

At other times, we ourselves might be blocking our view of the wisdom we need. Once, years ago, Pastor Donald Gray Barnhouse was busily working in his private study when he heard a knock on the door. It was his daughter, and he invited her to enter. She had come to ask his permission to do something that she very much wanted to do. After listening to her, Dr. Barnhouse denied her request and returned his attention to his work. He was startled when he looked up a few minutes later and saw his daughter still standing near his desk. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“I am waiting for you to tell me what to do,” she replied.

“Whatever you are doing,” he said, “you are not waiting for me to tell you what to do. I have already told you what I want you to do, and you do not like it. What you are really doing is waiting to see if I will change
my mind.”
²

Don’t we do the same sometimes? At some level, we know what God wants us to do, what the wise course is, but we don’t like it, so we default to confusion, claiming that we do not know what to do. If our discovery as to what would please the Lord in a given situation remains elusive, could this be the problem? It’s worth investigating. If we find it is so and then repent, we will likely be amazed at how soon we lay hold of the answer we’ve been after all along.

2) Wisdom Is Near

Not only is wisdom clear, but it is also near. In other words, wisdom is always available:

God isn’t reluctant to give us wisdom. In fact, he delights to make it clear
to us:

God said through Moses: “This commandment that I command you today is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. It is not in heaven, that you should say, ‘Who will ascend to heaven for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will go over the sea for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it” (Deut. 30:11–14). We will find it to be “very near” when we do what Moses said just before that: “When you turn to the L
ORD
your God with all your heart and with all your soul . . .” (v. 10). The issue sometimes isn’t that we lack wisdom but that we don’t really
want it.

3) Wisdom Is Pleasant

To say that wisdom is “pleasant” is sort of an understatement.
Pleasant
is a word we associate with life’s lesser pleasures, such as a cup of tea on a rainy afternoon—it’s nice, but we still wish the sun would come out. Yet the word here in Proverbs isn’t meant to convey minimal pleasure. Think of it more in terms of that on-top-of-the-world feeling you get in the middle of one of those rare glitch—
free days.