All Falls Down (13 page)

I want more of the feeling that's been bubbling in my chest since he kissed me. It's almost euphoric. Everything is so quiet and still inside. I can't even remember the last time I felt such inner calm, and I don't want it to end. The conversation we need to have – the things we need to say and to hear…. I know reality is going to come barreling back in when those words are spoken.

Maybe I'm a coward for wanting to avoid that a little longer, but there it is anyway.

I don't want to talk yet.

"You should sleep." Jared reaches out to run his finger beneath my right eye and then down my cheek, tracing the path of my earlier tears. "You look so tired."

I nuzzle my face into his hand. "I don't really sleep well."

His fingers still against my face.

"Toby," he guesses.

I don't say anything, and he sighs softly before pulling himself up. I want to ask what he's doing, but I don't get the chance before he reaches for me again. Settling back against the headboard, he tucks me against his chest. His lips brush across my temple.

I think the soft warmth of his lips right there may be the best thing in the world.

"Sleep, beautiful girl," he says. "I'll watch over you."

"Goodnight, Jared," I murmur, his heartbeat beneath my ear already lulling me to the edge. I know he won't be here when I wake. I know he can't be here, but I don't mind. He's here now.

He hums softly and my eyelids flutter.

I'm nearly asleep before I remember there's one conversation we can't put off.

I have to know that answer now.

"Jared?"

"Hmm?"

"Lexi's in danger, isn't she?" I ask.

He's quiet for a minute, and so incredibly still. "Yes," he finally says.

I expected the answer, but it doesn't really help.

"How bad is it?"

He laces his fingers through mine and lifts them to his lips. "Don't worry about it. She won't be hurt."

He sounds so confident, so sure, and I want to believe him. But… she will be hurt, won't she? By this. By us.

Please, let her be okay
, I pray, hoping God listens to this one request, at least.

"Sleep, beautiful girl," Jared says again, pressing his lips to my fingers.

I push reality away again and snuggle closer.

Within moments, I'm asleep.

Chapter Eight: Bring Me Flowers

When I wake, Jared's gone, but I'm not alone. His delicious scent surrounds me, and he's left a flower on the pillow beside me. I don't even have time for guilt to creep in before I spot it. And then I can't stop smiling.

The flower sags a little – the result of days of rain battering it – and the soft yellow petals are naturally uneven. A wildflower. They grow like weeds at the back of the Talbot property. The realization that he walked out to pick it for me sends joy twisting through me.

I bring the flower to my nose and inhale. It doesn't have that soft flower scent, but instead smells of rain and the outdoors. It's just perfect. Flawed, drooping, but still the most beautiful flower I've ever been given. I pull my worn and faded copy of
Candide
from the bedside table and place the little water-logged gift inside the back cover. Even if it does mold instead of dry, I want to keep it.

I smile and replace the book atop the nightstand before glancing at the clock.

I've only been asleep for three hours, but it seems as if I've slept for years.

Is this how Princess Aurora felt after waking up to Prince Charming?

Did he ease her? Make her feel less adrift in a world she didn't really belong to anymore?

I can't help but hope that he did, that she felt safe and secure with him. I feel that way with Jared. When he touches me, puts his arms around me, all those empty places inside of me shrink, filling with him.

A smile still hovers on my lips when I fall back to sleep.

"Wake up, beautiful girl," Jared murmurs, nuzzling his face into my neck.

I'm so warm, so content. I don't want to wake up.

His lips brush across my cheek. "It's almost noon, Savannah."

I groan and reluctantly open my eyes.

The sun shines brightly into my room through the cracked shutters. I groan again and turn onto my back.

Jared leans over me, smiling.

"Good morning," he whispers.

I'm so disoriented. Did I fall back asleep? Or was I dreaming?

"Did you bring me a flower?" I ask. My voice is husky from sleep, and the question sounds abrupt.

Jared brushes my hair back from my face. "I did."

I blink again, trying to wake up and process his answer.

"You're not a morning person," he says, watching me intently.

I shrug, and then yawn.

He plays with my hair as my brain slowly begins to fire again. Naturally, it shoots straight to him. I know he's gotten far less sleep than I have, but he appears wide awake. His green eyes shine, and he's foregone shaving again.

I reach up and run my hand through his wild hair.

He grins at me.

"Hi," I whisper, my stomach turning a somersault.

"There you are." He bumps his nose against mine and then kisses my temple. "Did you sleep well?"

"Mmhmm," I hum, still sliding my fingers through his hair. "What are you doing here?"

"Watching you." He grins again and it makes him seem almost boyish. I've never seen him so carefree.

Does he feel the same fuzzy sensation that's bubbling up from the pit of my stomach?

It's that same floating feeling from last night. Euphoria. Happiness. Peace. A mixture of all three.

"That must have been boring," I murmur.

He shifts around behind me and pulls me up against him.

I snuggle into his chest and sigh, that fuzziness bubbling a little higher.

"Not at all. You're fascinating," he whispers in my ear then, nuzzling his face into my neck. "Beautiful. Smart. Compassionate." Each word is punctuated with a little kiss.

I kick my feet, suddenly burning hot and tingling all over.

Jared chuckles when the blankets refuse to budge and helps jerk the top one down. "Better?" he asks, going right back to his nuzzling.

"Mmhmm." I tilt my head a little, giving him better access and then ask again, breathlessly, "Really, why are you here?"

He kisses my neck again and then pulls back, settling his chin on my shoulder before twining his fingers with mine. "Katie demanded some alone time with Lexi and Mad today, so I offered to take you to lunch."

"Oh." Unease ripples through me, though I'm not sure if it's because we're sneaking around, because he's reminded me why we're sneaking around, or for some other reason entirely.

"What's wrong?" he asks, rubbing his thumb along my knuckles.

I sigh. Where to start? "Is it safe for them to be here alone?"

"I wouldn't leave if it wasn't, Savannah."

I hear the frown in his voice. I've inadvertently insulted him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way." Pulling away, I duck my head, waiting for him to snap at me. My face burns with shame.

"Hey." He shifts around on the bed again, turning me until I'm facing him. "Look at me, please," he whispers.

I take a deep breath and open my eyes to find him staring at me.

"I'm not him, Savannah." He cups my cheek in his hand, his expression serious. Jade bores into me, full of promise and sincerity. "I'm not going to yell at you or hurt you for saying something the wrong way, beautiful girl. I'm. Not.
Him.
Just get that thought out of your head right now, okay?"

"I–" I swallow and nod. "I'm trying. I just–" I sigh and nod again, not ready to broach any of the thousand questions that need broaching. Not just yet.

"Good." He kisses my temple again, and then my forehead. "Stewart, Chris, and Demetri have everything well under control, and the girls are perfectly safe here. So do you want to go to lunch with me or not?"

"Chris?" I frown at the familiar name. "Isn't he your brother?"

"Yes. And Demetri is his fiancé."

I've met them both, but I didn't realize they were a couple. It doesn't bother me in the least – why should it? But the fact that they're both here makes me nervous. What's really going on? Why was Matthew killed? Why's Lexi so afraid?

"And Matthew hired them to help Stewart with security?" I ask, deciding that's probably the easiest of the questions I have for Jared.

"Something like that," he says, sighing. "It's complicated."

And we're back to that.

"If I ask for an explanation, will you give it to me?" I'm not sure why I ask him that instead of just asking him straight out for the truth. I guess I just dread hearing it, if I'm honest with myself. This is new. Whatever we're doing, it's new. If I start asking questions now, things are going to get a lot harder. Fast. And I'm not ready for that. Not yet.

I want a little more time. A little more of the floating feeling.

Maybe I'm being naive or a coward, but I can't help it.

He swallows and then nods. "I won't lie to you, Savannah," he promises. "No matter what, I'll always be honest with you." He stares at me so earnestly I believe him.

"But you don't want to tell me," I say.

"It's not that. Remember what you asked me last night? About Lexi?" he clarifies.

"I remember." How could I forget him telling me that she's in danger? Or that he's going to make sure she isn't hurt? "Chris and Demetri are really here to help keep her safe," I guess, putting it all together. It's not hard to do, not when I've already been given so many little pieces of the puzzle.

Jared nods again. "I'll tell you everything if you want me to, I promise you that. But I need time to work a few things out. Can you trust that?" The way he says it is less
can you trust that
and more
will you try to trust me
.

I hesitate briefly before nodding.

He notices my hesitation and exhales, weariness seeping into his expression. He seems so tired suddenly, as if he's fighting a battle he isn't sure he's going to win. "I don't want you in the middle, beautiful girl."

I don't really know what he means by that, but I'm almost positive I don't want to be in the middle of whatever's going on. Whatever it is, whatever he's not telling me… it's big and frightening. And right now, I don't need anything else to fear.

"Okay," I say, my decision made. I may regret it later, but for now, for this moment at least, I'm not going to push. I don't want to. "Then let's go to lunch."

The smile he gives me is blinding.

My stomach does another little somersault.

Jared reaches across the console for my hand as we speed south on I-80 an hour later. We're in his flashy grey car, the music turned up just loud enough to offer a little background noise. He glances over at me and grins before turning his attention back to the road.