All of me (10 page)

I am groaning as Matt unzips my dress from
behind pushing it off of my shoulders, whilst his lips continue. His hands
surround me stroking down my back to my rear end, he unclips my bra and I move
to allow it to drop on the floor, leaving me in my pants and shoes.

‘You look stunning tonight,’ he whispers
into my mouth and I reluctantly open my eyes, his hazel eyes mirror how I feel
inside.  I cannot speak through all the sensations running through me, he lifts
my hair to one side nibbling on my neck, this leaves me gasping as I wrap my
arms around his middle. My nipples are pebbles against his front and he groans
before bending to suck first one then the other. ‘Matt,’ I whisper, throwing my
head back, my sex begging for attention.

‘All in good time Emily,’ he growls gently
biting down on my nipple sending a shock down to my core.  I groan as my hands
run over his head pulling him nearer, he drops to his knees and runs his hands
up my legs, ‘you look magnificent,’ he mumbles, taking small bites up my
thighs.  I am panting now as my sex is clenching, I feel my body tightening.

‘Matt, I am going to come,’ I call and he
chuckles.

‘You are so fucking responsive,’ he mutters
as his fingers pull my panties aside and thrust into me, ‘so wet,’ he groans as
I am engulfed by the waves of pleasure rushing through me.

‘Matt,’ I call exploding around him as he
licks my throbbing sex, elongating my release.  I am holding onto him for dear
life as he pulls my underwear down and off my feet.

‘You like?’ he whispers, his hands moving
up my body until he is once again standing in front of me.

‘Oh god, I like,’ I pant as he lifts me
setting me on the kitchen counter top and undoing his trousers, I flinch
slightly at the coldness of the marble top before smiling, ‘hmmm,’ I flush,
‘that feels good.’

He grins, as he removes his clothes and
shoes releasing his throbbing erection, he covers a condom over the top before pulling
me to the edge of the counter.  I wrap my legs around him. He lifts me off and
onto his waiting shaft and I moan in pleasure, ‘oh yes,’ he moves us around the
breakfast bar and tips me onto the dining table encouraging me back, moving my
legs over his shoulders.

‘Move,’ I encourage, frustration building
and he pulls out thrusting hard inside my entrance, ‘more, I call. He continues
in and around my sex, pounding hard against my pelvic bone, god I could do this
every day I muse.  His thumb finds my clitoris and applies enough pressure to
have me squirming as I sense another release imminent, but he halts leaning
over me to find my lips.

‘Don’t stop,’ I beg, but he takes my chin
and once again kisses me to distraction, my sex is clenching against his
erection sucking him into me.  He stands and his face is tense, he once again
pounds into me and I feel myself building once again, ‘oh Matt,’ I call as he
rubs my clitoris and I explode around him as he calls out my name, stilling to
empty himself.

He is laying against me panting into my
neck, as I am stroking his back enjoying this intimate moment, ‘I like,’ I
murmur and I feel him grin.

‘I like too.’

I open my eyes and groan, I ache like crap!
Matt is spooning me, obviously exhausted after our night of continuous sex. 
The fact that we were both aware this was our last night together, neither of
us wished to sleep and miss it.  I glanced at the bedside clock, which glares
eleven forty two, wow it was almost lunchtime.

‘You ok?’ Matt whispers into my neck.

‘Hmmm, bit achy’ I smile.

‘I bet!’ he murmurs sleepily.

‘I need to pee,’ I extract myself from him
and wander into the attached bathroom.  This place was magnificent, you could
practically fit my flat into his bedroom and bathroom. I go about my business
before staring at my reflection at the basin, my makeup had spread slightly so
I wipe it off with a wipe that I find in the cupboard below, along with a new
toothbrush.

 I move to the huge shower and switch it on
standing directly under the spray allowing the water to cascade around me, oh
this feels so good. I feel Matt behind me as he snakes his arms around my
middle and I grin.

********

By the time I reach home, it is three in
the afternoon.  Matt walks me to my door and stands kissing me thoroughly
before exclaiming, ‘take care, Miss Taylor,’ and climbing into his Porsche.  I
enter the flat and flop on the sofa, I could sleep for a week.

Wednesday night I am enjoying a midweek
glass of wine with Lucy, while Tom is once again working late.

‘So,’ my sister enquires, ‘I haven’t seen
you since Saturday night, how was the gorgeous Matt?’ She smiles, but it
doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

‘He was absolutely bloody fantastic,’ I
grin, ‘I have him out of my system now, so all set for the surrogacy?’

Lucy looks at me with sad eyes, ‘Tom won’t
do it Em.’

‘Why not? I thought you had charmed him
into it,’ I utter, shocked.

‘No, he apparently invited Matt Saturday,
so that he could put his mind at rest that we wouldn’t be coming between you
and a potential future.  Seems he was right Em, you and Matt….well you look
good together.’

‘No!’ I scowl, ‘you have it wrong, we just
wanted one more night Luce, we ended on bad footings the week before, but we
have come to terms with the fact that we aren’t in the same place at the moment.
That is all it was, just a goodbye.’ I attempt to pacify her.

‘Emily, it is fine. This is how it is
supposed to be,’ she assures me, ‘besides, no one has the kind of chemistry
that you two do and just end it, just like that!’ she snaps her fingers, ‘it
isn’t over.’

‘It was just sex, Luce,’ I insist and she
shakes her head, ‘I will speak to Tom.’ I promise.

I decide to speak to Tom at the weekend,
when things have cooled down.

********

 Friday night I half expect to see Matt at
my door, but he remains away, as instructed. By nine o clock, I realize he
isn’t going to show and go for a run to dissipate the feeling of disappointment
that hits.

It isn’t until Sunday that I call Tom over,
‘how can you stand there Tom, and judge what is going on in my life.’ I yell.

‘I am not doing this with you Emily.  I
have already had it out with Lucy, why should I have to justify myself to you
as well?’ he isn’t happy.

‘Because, I thought my sister’s happiness
was paramount to you that is why!’ I express.

‘It is, but contrary to popular believe
around here, I am actually taking your happiness into the equation.’  He roars
back.

‘Well no one asked you too Tom.  I had sex
with Matt, pure and simple.  I am not running up the aisle with him.’ I am
gesturing with my hands to attempt to express how passionately I feel about
this subject.

‘I don’t care Emily, I am fed up with the
two of you teaming up against me when one of you doesn’t agree with me.  And to
be perfectly honest, no! I don’t want you to be the surrogate, I would rather a
stranger than you.  I love you as a sister Emily, but sorry that would be yet
another thing that Lucy would bring up to keep you on that pedestal. Do
yourself a favor Emily, get out of my marriage, for fuck sake!’ and he storms
out.

To say I am shocked is an understatement! 
Tom has never spoken to me in that manner before, it was a good job that we did
this at my flat rather than the house Lucy wouldn’t have been impressed.  God
am I in their marriage?  I am stunned at the thought that I am coming between
Tom and Lucy, they are my family!  I feel emotional, a lump appearing in my
throat god I have screwed everything up, I flop on the sofa allowing myself
some time to wallow.  Maybe I need to move out of here and leave them to sort
their problems out, I realize that Lucy and I are close but maybe it is time I
stood back and let the dice fall.

********

I go about my week with zero enthusiasm, I
am hurt by Tom’s comments and feel strangely bereft that Matt has taken me at
my word and disappeared from my life completely. I am lonely, not for the first
time in my life, but somehow it feels worse now that I have glimpsed happiness,
albeit briefly, only to once again find myself with nothing to look forward to.

Lucy invites me over on Wednesday for our
mid-week glass of wine, but I decline faking a headache.  By Friday, I have
decided to look for somewhere else to live, I wrapped Lucy in cotton wool as
much as I could during her teenage years, but she is a married woman now, maybe
Tom and Matt were right in their claims that I need to find a life myself. 

The doorbell rings on Friday evening and my
stomach flips at the prospect of Matt, I trot down to the front door to find
Tom on the doorstep.

‘Hi, can I come in,’ he enquires mildly, his
eyes cautious.

‘Sure.’ I murmur, trotting back upstairs
and turning to face him in the living room, my arms crossed in front of me.

‘I came to apologize,’ Tom appears
remorseful, ‘I shouldn’t have spoken to you as I did Emily, and for that I am
sorry.’

‘No Tom, there is no need really, I am
sorry if you think that I have interfered between you and Lucy,’ I smile
briefly, once again feeling the lump appear in my throat, I swallow it down
hastily.

‘I know you and Lucy are close Emily, you
are all the other has except, now you aren’t you have me, both of you,’ he
expresses, ‘I will always be there for you Emily, I am sorry I expressed myself
so badly.’

‘No apologies necessary Tom you are right.
I am looking for somewhere else to live, it is time I bailed out,’ a tear pops
out of the corner of my eye and I dash it away.

‘Emily, don’t be silly this is your home!’
he shocks, running his hand through his hair, ‘god I screwed this up,’ he
murmurs.

‘No, it is unhealthy the closeness Lucy and
I share I realize that now, just a habit that is hard to break, she has you now
and I know you will look after her.  I need to find myself now Tom, you have
done me a favor really.’ I wipe another tear and he moves and hugs me.

‘I am sorry Emily. Please don’t go, Lucy
will never forgive me.’ I hug him back before withdrawing.

‘Of course she will, she adores you,’ I
offer him a watery smile, ‘I need to learn how to form attachments with people.’

********

I spend the weekend job and flat hunting,
my assignment has another few weeks to run, but I contemplate maybe a permanent
job.  I have plenty of office experience now, courtesy of my various positions
over the past years.  I send out my CV to a few potential positions of a
Secretarial/PA nature and scan the apartments in the city.

By Tuesday Lucy knocks on the door her face
fuming, ‘how long are you going to avoid me Emily?’

‘Come in,’ I sigh, I have been expecting
her visit at some point in the near future.

‘What do you mean you are moving out? Why,
because you and Tom have fallen out over this surrogacy thing?’ she stands with
her hands on her hips and at that moment I am reminded of Lucy, as a fourteen
year old arguing over every eventuality, hitting back at the bad hand she had
received in life.

‘Calm down, Lucy,’ I scold her, ‘I am
moving out because it is my turn to find a life now, you are happy with Tom. I
need to find my own happiness don’t I deserve that?’ I arch an eyebrow and she
exhales a breath.

‘It isn’t supposed to be like this,’ she
has tears in her eyes, ‘it is me and you against the world.’

‘You have Tom now,’ I remind her, ‘it
should be you and Tom against the world.’

‘But I need you too,’ she sniffs.  I hug
her to me and she squeezes me hard, ‘don’t leave me Emily,’ she begs.

‘Don’t do this Luce, if you love me you
have to let me find my own way,’ I close my eyes, inhaling my little sister’s
scent, ‘I won’t be far,’ I promise as I pull away, bringing us back to reality.

‘You promise?’ she cuffs her tears and I
laugh.

‘You always used to cuff your tears,’ and
she smiles at the memory.

********

I am sad and mad!  If I was grouchy before,
I am ten times worse now, I am furious with the universe. I miss Matt and have
lost my family, Tom visits me once again a few days after Lucy’s visit and
hands me a cheque.

‘What is this for?’ I frown.

‘It is the rent you have been giving me, I
have been keeping it for you, family don’t charge rent Emily.  Use it for a
deposit or whatever you require.’ He urges.

‘I don’t want or need your charity, Tom,’ I
scold angrily.

‘It isn’t charity when it is family Emily,
another lesson you need to learn,’ he mumbles as he exits my flat.

‘Gee, seems like a hell of a lot of lessons
I require Tom!’ I snap to his back, regretting it the moment it leaves my mouth. 
I sit and cry, I cry like I have never cried before, hiccupping until I feel
nauseous.

********

Matt is like a bear with a sore head
snapping at everyone around him, he misses her how the hell can he miss her? 
All they did was have sex!  Her smart mouth and snippy remarks intrigued him
and the way her body fit his was amazing.  Matt was under no illusion he had
experienced great sex in his life, good sex, not-so fantastic sex, kinky sex! 
With Emily it was sexy-sex, her naivety he found endearing and she was a quick
learner, so responsive he didn’t even have to be touching her intimately for
her to come around him. They had some kind of connection like he had never
experienced.