Always Remember (13 page)

Nate’s fist connected with the side window. Pain raced through his hand and up his arm. The glass held. Frustration lodged in his gut as the reporter shifted the car into reverse and backed away, the jeering grin still carved onto his features.

Cradling his hand in his arm, Nate reluctantly turned to confront Jessie. “What’s he after, Jess?”

She dropped her gaze to his chest, misery etched on her face. “He wants a story, nothing more.”

She made a move to leave, but Nate caught her by the upper arm. Beneath his fingers, he felt tremors pass through her body and he forced himself to calm down. “You’re shaking. What’s he really after?”

“Dirt.” She stared up at him, her eyes hard and brilliant like the diamonds earrings she wore. “There’s big money for the lucky reporter who stirs up dirt on the queen of country music.”

Nate felt his world tilt and sway, like the aftershocks of an earthquake. “What’s he got so far?”

Yanking her arm from his grip, she gritted her teeth. “Nothing or by now, he’d be laughing all the way to the bank.”

Then she was gone, running across the yard to her parents’ house. He whipped his hat off his head and slapped it against his pant leg as he searched the darkness for her, caught sight of her slipping through the front door of Sam’s house. He started across the yard, the ache in his hand working into his wrist and up his arm. Only when he reached the gate leading into the yard did he stop to think.

How was he going to explain Sara? He jammed the hat back on his head.
Why
did he
have to
explain Sara?

He rubbed the back of his neck and shifted his gaze toward the red glow of the taillights hightailing it up the road.

The bastard reporter didn’t even know what he was searching for, didn’t understand or care that in the process of digging through Jessie’s past, he could potentially destroy three lives.

The screen door clicked shut behind Jessie, the meager sound seeming to vibrate through the tense muscles of her body. Hiding in the shadows of the doorframe, she switched off the porch light. Through the screen mesh, she saw Nate pause at the front gate of her parents’ house. Jessie’s throat closed up.

Breathe, in and out, just like you’ve been doing since the day you were born.

Nate wouldn’t dare follow her, not at this time of night, and risk waking her mother and father. Besides, what would he say?

Gee, Jess, did I forget to mention something?

She touched her fingertips to her lips, recalling the sweet, precious moment he’d kissed her. It had seemed so right, felt so right, as though only a day had passed since he last held her in his arms, made love to her.

He has a daughter.

She shut the door and turned away from it, hoping that he had enough common sense not to bang on it and wake her parents.

A daughter.
Sara.

She stifled a laugh. Finally, she knew what Sara meant to him. Not a lover. Not a special friend.
A daughter.

So where was Sara’s mom?

“Who’s out there?”

Jessie jumped, startled by the feeble voice calling from the bedroom.

“Sam? Is that you?” Panic infiltrated her mother’s voice. “Please, who’s there?”

Where was the nurse Harley had hired to replace her for the evening? Why wasn’t she sitting with her patient? Jessie hurried into the room.

A nightlight glowed in the dark and illuminated the figure on the bed. Maude struggled to sit up, then quickly fell back exhausted. “Jessica? Is that you?”

“In the flesh.” She eased one arm behind her mother’s shoulders. “Here, let me straighten these out for you. You’ll be more comfortable.”

She fluffed the pillows, brushed the creases out of the sheets and pillowcases, aware of her mother’s gaze. As she smoothed away the last of the wrinkles and eased Maude back down on the bed, she asked, “How are you feeling?”

“How do you think I feel?” the old woman asked, then gave a tired sigh. “I’m stuck in this house, in this room, in this bed. Honey, I’ve turned into a pile of jelly.” Maude shoved up the sleeve of one arm and grasped the loose flesh between two fingers. “See.”

Despite Maude’s physical fragility, it appeared she’d lost none of the tenacity that had taken a young girl from nowhere to the top of the country music scene in one amazing year.

A shadow appeared at the doorway, the nurse Harley had hired. “I heard a noise. Is everything all right?”

“Just fine,” Jessie assured her. “I’ll call you if we need anything.”

As the nurse vanished from the doorway, Maude hissed, “Where’s Harley?”

“She took the night off, Mom.”

“I don’t like that nurse.”

“No, of course you wouldn’t. Harley’s the best, but even Harley deserves a night off.”

The old woman grunted and turned her shrewd gaze on Jessie. “Why are you home?”

Maude’s own brand of maternal concern, practically non-existent. Jessie forced herself to smile, to pretend it didn’t hurt when her mother showed interest in the singer, but none in the daughter. “Nate called to tell me you weren’t feeling well. I guess he figured my company might cheer you up.”

“Didn’t you learn anything from me, child?”

Oh, yes. She’d learned more from this woman than she ever cared to know. She’d learned to be ruthless and hard and bitter until she couldn’t stand to look herself in the mirror anymore. And then she’d learned to be herself again, to help those in need, to never intentionally hurt another person because their pain became hers.

Anger and pity and love — Jessie struggled between the emotions. “Maybe I needed to see you, Mom.” One last time. Before it was too late.

“How many of those disappointed fans won’t buy a ticket to another Jessie Adams’ concert? Career before everything else.”

Career before everything else.
Well, she’d done everything her mother had told her to do and what had it gotten her? Fame and fortune, but they couldn’t banish the heartache and loneliness. She’d given up everything because of her mother.

For her mother.

Jessie gave a short laugh. “Now here’s something I could never understand, Mom. How you could put career before your own flesh and blood, and still look yourself in the mirror?”

The older woman clutched at the bed sheets, her jaw hard and unyielding, stubborn. “Don’t use that tone of voice with me, young lady.”

“I’m not seventeen anymore.” She huffed out a frustrated sigh. “You never acknowledged Jessie Adams,
daughter.
For my entire life, your focus was on Jessie Adams,
singer.
You never listened to what I needed or wanted.”

“Because if I hadn’t pushed you and pushed you hard, you would have settled for so little. I wanted so much more for you than life here on the ranch.”

“But, Mom, maybe that’s all I ever wanted.”

“It’s what you thought you wanted, Jessica, but if you’d chosen that path, you would have regretted it.”

Jessie leaned forward and clasped her mother’s hands. “Do you ever wonder where your grandchild is? Every time I look at another woman’s child, I feel the emptiness in my arms and worry that my baby is suffering for my mistake.”

Something flashed across Maude’s expression, come and gone so quickly, Jessie couldn’t identify it. “Children move away, have their own lives to live. You’ve ignored your father and me. Convince me I’m wrong when I say my own life would have been far richer had I never gotten pregnant with you.”

No, her mother would never understand, but Jessie no longer needed her to understand. She stroked the soft skin of her mother’s arm and gave her a small smile. “I’m not you, Mom. I never wanted what you wanted. In fact, I’m more like Dad. I would have been content to spend my life right here, the people I love close by.”

The old woman’s shrewd gaze fixed on Jessie, probing, disturbed. “You’re talking nonsense.”

Jessie released her mother’s hand and stood up to smooth the blankets over her mother’s frail body. “It’s time I started living my life instead of trying to relive yours.”

“Jessica, what are you talking about?”

She tucked the sheet under her mother’s chin, then bent down to kiss her mother on the forehead. When she straightened, she smiled down at her. “Nothing you need to be concerned about.”

Live her own life, Jessie thought as she wandered from the room, leaving her mom protesting behind her. She headed upstairs to bed, wishing for the umpteenth time that she could go back and redo the past.

She’d found the guts to step on stage with Nate tonight. Now, she just had to find the courage to face him with the truth.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Early the next morning, Jessie sat cross-legged on the stable floor and watched the foal lap at the bucket of milk. From somewhere at the back of the stables, voices drifted her way as Sam and Hale discussed Morning Glory. She tuned them out, slumped against the wall of the stall and stroked the foal’s neck.

What the heck had happened last night? How had she ended up in Nate’s arms once again? And that kiss.

The sharp click of boots interrupted her thoughts. Jessie glanced up and saw a young woman, all long legs and long arms, chocolate brown eyes and an oval face that would’ve been perfect for a model.
Nate’s daughter
. What did she think about the woman she’d caught kissing her dad?

The girl stepped into the stall, crouched on the opposite side of the foal, and stroked her hand across the filly’s mane as she tiled her head to one side. “Hi. I’m Sara.”

“I’m Jessie, Sam and Maude’s daughter.”

Shock registered briefly on the girl’s face. “You’re kidding, right?
The
Jessie Adams? Here in my stables? Oh, wow, I’m a big fan of yours. I own every one of your CDs.”

“Thank you,” Jessie said, casual and polite and so unsure about the morning after protocol, she thought she might throw up. “I could autograph them if you’d like.”

“Cool.” The girl nodded her head, stroked one hand across the filly’s mane and grinned.

So maybe the kiss hadn’t been a big deal to anyone but herself, Jessie thought as she relaxed her back against the stable wall and smiled at the girl. “Nate never told me he had a daughter.”

“Yeah.” Sara plopped onto the floor and sat cross-legged, a crooked grin easing the model perfect shape of her face. “Sometimes he forgets to tell people about me.”

“And your mother?”

The girl shrugged her shoulders, pushed a loose strand of straight, black hair behind her ear and tried to look indifferent, but it was there in the tenseness of her shoulders, the firmness of her mouth. A whole world of darkness. “I’m adopted. There’s just been me and my dad for as long as I can remember.”

“I’m sorry.” Jessie felt her heart twist in her chest. She wanted to pull Sara into her arms, to tell her that maybe her mother hadn’t been given a choice, that maybe her father hadn’t even known that she existed. But it wouldn’t ease the pain in either of their hearts. She picked up a length of straw and broke it into two. “A daughter he doesn’t tell anyone about, huh?”

“Yep. That’d be me.” Sara picked up a length of straw, stuck it between her teeth and chomped on it while she studied Jessie. Jessie studied her in return and thought,
oh my God, she’s been hanging out with my father for too long
.

Finally Jessie cracked. “About last night—”

“Hey, it’s cool.” The girl shot to her feet, startling the foal as she grabbed a pitchfork and started moving hay around, nervous, wary, then suddenly curious as she hooked one arm over the top of the handle, tilted her head to the side and peered down at Jessie. “So I know you’re going back out on the road. You’ve got commitments and all. Does my dad know this is just a fling?”

“It’s not even that, Sara,” Jessie replied while some little voice inside her head jeered and called her a liar.

“I’m not judging you, Ms. Adams.”

“Call me Jessie.”

The girl nodded and pulled the straw from her mouth. “The thing is, Jessie, I don’t want to see my dad hurt.”

“I don’t either.” Jessie pushed to her feet, slapped the dust off the back of her jeans, and finally met Sara’s curious gaze. “Your dad and I...we’re on the same page. It was just one little kiss. No harm done.”

Except for the kiss in her bedroom and all those images of his body taking hers to mindless ecstasy. She suppressed a shiver, then noticed Sara’s gaze shift toward the back of the stable as voices drifted in on the breeze.

“Dad and Hale,” Jessie explained. “They’re discussing...” Had Nate had time to tell her about the mare? “...things.”

Sara shrugged as though she didn’t care and turned her attention back to Jessie. “I stopped to see Maude this morning. She looks thinner, more tired than when I left a week ago.”

“I’m sure she’ll be delighted that you’re home.”

“Wish Dad was,” Sara muttered. Guilt flitted across her face before she met Jessie’s eyes and again, a goofy grin destroyed that model perfect beauty. “Just don’t tell Dad I said that.”

“Said what?”

Nate’s voice brought them both around to face the front of the stall. He stood there, eyes hooded, expression blank, for all appearances casual. Jessie felt her world go out of kilter as the heady desire from last night washed over her, until she sensed his tension. And then she realized why.