Bittersweet Hate (6 page)

“Hey are you still with me?” He asks his cocky grin still in place. His fingers are pushing at the hair that fell into my face.

“Yeah… Yeah…” Really I’m as far from fine as can be. I need to get into my room and find B.O.B. ASAP.

“My dad fucked up with my mom, and I don’t want to fuck up with you. It took me a long time to realize that I should just try. This is me trying; I want you and no one else.”

I watch the smug smile he always has on his face melt
s away, as a look of anguish forms. His body goes tense, and it’s not like he’s angry, but something more.

“I hate him for what he did, he tore my family apart, and he tore my mom apart. She will never trust another man again and I don’t blame her. It’s made me lack trust in the whole male species.” His arms fall to his sides, as if a realization hit him right then and there.

“I… I can’t talk about this right now. It hurts me too much; I just wanted to open up a little bit.” He walks away from me stiffly, as if a pressure has fallen on him making it impossible for him to walk around without it weighing him down. I feel myself caving wanting to give into him. Caress him, and tell him it’ll be okay. That not all men are the same as his dad that he’s not anything like his dad.

“Corey stop…” I’m so full of emotion I don’t even notice myself reaching out to wrap my arms around him. He stops dead in his tracks. I can feel his heart beating through his thin shirt, my hand right over it.
Right now I could care less about myself being hurt; all I want to do is help him.

“You’re not like your dad Corey. You’re better than him. When he did wrong
, you did right. He left your mom and your family. Yeah you took your anger and hate out on the wrong person but… you’re not the same Corey.”

He turns releasing my arms looking me straight in the eyes, a look of disgust marring his face.

“Being told I’m not the same isn’t good enough. I need to prove myself and I will.” He says letting out a hiss. I shake my head wrapping my arms around him tighter. Yeah he’s fucked up, he’s done some really bad things, but who hasn’t? Everyone should be given a second chance. People change when they want to, and this shows me Corey wants to change.

He stands still letting me hold him for a short time before his arms find their way around me, pulling me into him. It feels as if he’s trying to make an impression of me on himself as a lasting reminder. As If I’m the one thing separating him from being like his father, and if I can I’ll save him, even if it means risking myself and my heart.

I feel him bend down, and burrow his face into my hair breathing in my scent as if it’s the one thing that can calm him in this time of need.

“I need you… It’s not a want baby… it’s a need. If I don’t have you I’ll fall apart at the seams. I’ll become even less of a man. You make me whole, and you could call me selfish, you can tell me you hate me… but nothing is going to make me give up on you, or us.” 

My heart constricts in pain. His body is no longer rigid and I know this is him letting me in. It’s him allowing someone to hurt him. Why would he give someone that kind of power? He loves you dumbass, that’s why.

“I… I don’t know what to say to make it better. You’ve fucked up Corey and I have to. I’ve pushed you to your limits over and over again. How
could you still want me after all of that?” The words are just spewing from my mouth like vomit. Word vomit.

“It’s okay, baby,
it’s okay.” He reassures me. How did we go from me comforting him to him comforting me? He picks me up, and I wrap my legs around him. The gesture isn’t sexual, he just wants me close, and he wants to hold me. He lands hard on the couch, and I pull myself away looking into his hazel colored eyes.

They bring me warmth down to the bone.

“You pushed me because you knew I needed it. Who knows what kind of person I would be if it weren’t for you handing me my ass every day. Somewhere along the way your words hit me.”

His hold on me loosens. I see the insecurities and the risk he
’s taking with me. He may be solid, and built like a man should be but he’s real and now that his true feelings have come to the surface I can’t hold back my next words… he’s shown me a side of him I didn’t know existed he’s shown me that he’s capable of love and if he is then maybe not all hope is lost. Then maybe I am too.

“I love you.” It comes out as a whisper, but I know he heard it when I see the shock register in his eyes. No worries boy, I never thought I would say it either.

His hands tangle in my hair, as he brings his lips down to mine. The urgent need and the crumbling of our walls is felt in that one kiss. In that one moment when our lips touch I know this boy will be the death of me that is if I don’t kill him first.

I wake up the next morning to a very welcoming sight. Corey is between my legs feasting on breakfast. His touch is gentle as his lips, devour me. He takes my clit into his mouth, nipping at it. My moans turn into screams as he finger fucks me hard. I arch off the bed, and his hold tightens. My thighs shake and toes curl as I come hard. He rides it out, lapping up all my juices. When he comes up to face me he smiles.

“That’s the best breakfast I’ve ever had.
I might have to have it every day.” He winks and I feel myself swoon. What happened to the asshole I was living with a few weeks ago? And when did he get replaced by this hunk of a man.

“Oh yeah, I could get use to that every day.” I groan stretching out my muscles. His eyes glaze over as they glide over every dip and curve on my skin.

“See something you like?” I tease, I know there’s no time for the deed but at the very least I can have him hard thinking about me all day.

“Not just something I like
, but something I fucking love.” His tongue darts out, wetting his lips as his teeth bite down on his lip. I bite down on my own, thinking of all the things we could do.

“We can’t Corey, I have class and I have to swing by the administration office and fill out some paper work.” He lets out a frustrated groan as he flops back down on the bed. His muscles are stiff, and his erection is about ready to blow out of his pants. Ahh, today should be a great day. Blue balls.

“You’re killing me Mimi, killing me.” I ignore his complaints and get out of bed making sure he has a nice show of my ass swaying while I attempt to pick out some clothes.

“Fuck
, that ass is mine when you get done today. All mine.” I look over my shoulder and see him watching me from hooded eyes, his hand stroking his cock in a slow pace.  It’s exotic and it takes everything in me to turn my eyes away. God he’s magnificent. A beautiful bastard and he’s all mine.

I bend over, searching for a pair of shoes in my closet. I don’t even have a shirt or pants picked out so why I’m digging shoes out I don’t know. Yeah you do, you want to watch him stroke himself to ecstasy and you want to be the reason why.

“Fuck me.” He grits out, I can hear the rawness, and hunger in his voice. I look over my shoulder and give him a little wink as I stand up straight and make my way over to the dresser. Our eyes catch the others in the mirror. His pace has picked up, and I have to bite my lip to stifle the moan I want to let loose.

I dig in the dresser for bra and panties, but
I am so focused on Corey that I end up grabbing a pair of socks. He groans, and I do too. I forget all about grabbing my bra and panties, and insert a finger between my folds. He watches me, urging me on, and his eyes are begging for my release. My pace quickens as does his as I swirl my finger around my clit. I flick it back and forth with my finger. I feel the orgasm coming and it has me going weak in the knees. Just when I think that it can’t get better, Corey slams into me hard from behind.

His hands bi
te into my hips as he thrust upwards. My mouth forms in the distinct O, as a shudder runs through us. I push back against him urging him to give me all he’s got. One of his hands stays on my hip while the other lifts my leg slowly making it easier for him to go deeper.

The moment he hits the spot I feel myself crumbling.
One stroke, two strokes, three strokes… and I’m soaring.

His hand finds its way into my hair, as he pulls it tight
, wrapping it around his hand. He pulls me so my back is flush with his chest. The sting of pain on my scalp is equalized by the intense pleasure I’m feeling.  Not a thought fills my head or a word is said as I meet my god. I close my eyes relishing in the feeling, prickles of pleasure course through me as he slams into over and over again.

“Fuck yeah baby, fuck yeah.” He whispers in my ear riding out my orgasm.

“I love you.” He grits out with one last slam of his hips and one last sound of our skin beating together.

“I love you too.” I huff out. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be him that’s going to kill me.

***

“Why the hell are you late again?” Kennedy asks as we make our way into the library to study.
The girl is too adorable; how she got stuck with me as a partner for a project I don’t know. I almost feel bad for her. She oozes innocence and sunshine. Her long blonde hair is pulled back in a bun, her nose has a line of freckles on it, and her face is framed by a pair of super cute black glasses. She’s wearing skinny jeans and a sweatshirt. She has the whole girl next door look going on.

“I… Umm… got caught up.” I mumble out not really wanting to tell her Corey was doing me from behind.
She’s too pure, normal and happy for that shit.

“Right, I’m sure you were being boned by your man.” She says under her breath rolling her eyes at me. Her sarcastic tone almost makes me want to laugh, maybe I underestimated her.

“I was actually; I just didn’t want to burn your virgin ears.” She looks at me with disgust that is until her eyes catch on someone behind me. I turn around spotting Ryder. His hair is a dismantled mess and he looks as if he was just mauled by someone. He sends us a one dimpled smile, his eyes lingering on Kennedys longer than necessary.

“No. No. Not even
. No. Fuck no.” I whisper yell. It’s not that I want to tell her what to do, it’s I want to tell her who not to do, or in other words, who to not let do her. As in Ryder, as in he would tear her to pieces and leave her weeping.

“I’m pretty sure I can make my own choices. You don’t even know me and plus It doesn’t matter.  He’s out of my league, although it doesn’t hurt to look.” She sounds
indifferent to Ryder, and just for a second I think maybe, just maybe there’s hope for him.

“Come on lets go get some seats so that we can work on this stupid project.” As I’m walking away, I take notice of the fact that blondie
is not next to me or walking behind me. Oh no, she’s staring at Ryder’s ass as he walks away.

I snap my fingers at her bringing her out of her Ryder induced coma. What the fuck is it with women and him? “Hello, there’s drool pooling at your feet could you make it any more obvious?” She scuf
fs, pretending not to be caught her face glowing red with embarrassment.

“Has anyone ever told you
that you’re a bitch?” She gloats. I almost want to laugh, almost. I should be pissed because not even Corey gets to call me a bitch without a comeback hitting him in the face, but Blondie here? Nope she’s growing on me.

“Yup, every
day sweetheart” I say smirking at her. We make our way to the tables in silence. Just as I’m pulling my books out of my backpack my phone starts vibrating. Pulling it out I smile knowing that it’s probably Corey. Honestly who knew he could be boyfriend material.

“You look pretty today.” Is all the text says, and it’s from the same number that texted me before, when I was at the bowling alley. I look from my phone, sweeping my gaze across the room. I
return a text back to the number asking ‘who is this?’ Hoping just maybe they’ll actually tell me the truth. I look from my phone and back to Kennedy, who’s looking at me like I’m on crack or something.

“What?” I ask disgusted trying to hide my terror. This is getting beyond fucked up. If Brody can get
to me on campus, then no place is safe for me.

“Are you okay? You look
, I don’t know, frantic. Kind of like a crazy cat lady whose lost her twelfth cat.” I’m glad she can make light of a joke in this situation but I can’t. My phone vibrates again and I’m almost afraid to look at it, almost.

“You know who I am
,” Is all it says. I feel sweat building up on my hands, as I rub them on my jeans.

“Where are you?” I text back, if he’s going to come after me again then he’s going to have to do it in the eye of everyone here.

“Would you please shut that thing off, and help me with this project. You know half the dang grade is yours too. I might look dumb but I am not.” Kennedy’s voice echoes in my mind but all I can do is look around the room hoping to spot him.

W
hile trying to block out the fact that Kennedy is ready to explode because I’m ignoring her, I see him. Just his hair, but still he’s here watching me. In a way I’m not scared, I’m excited, I want to punch him in the face. Then shove his dick down his throat. I grab for my phone, it almost slips out of my hand. I’m shaking, and it makes it impossible to text fast enough.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? If this is Ryder I’m sorry…”

“Stop it’s not about Ryder…” I all but ignore her, as I turn around walking over by the lobby. Come on, Corey. Come on. Nothing. I look over my shoulder, and see him walking towards me, slow, not to draw attention but still creepy as fuck.

I do the only thing a rational person would do, RUN. I run with all my might, over by the stacks hoping to run into someone. I make it to the stairwell before turning around to see if he followed me. I’m gasping in breaths, praying that I lost him. Just as I
get my breath caught, I see him, making his way through the adult lit section. FUCK.

I pull whatever courage, and energy I have left
and open the stairwell door. I sprint up the stairs taking them two at a time. By the time I make it to the top I’m winded.

“You can’t run from me Mimi. You’ll always be mine.”
His voice is like acid raining down on my body. I freeze to my spot. What do I do? He got away with it the first time, and there might now be a second chance to put him away.

The only thing I can thing to do is run, outsmart him, and hide. I find a door to my left my mind racing with horrible thoughts, things that will happen to me if I don’t get moving.

I find a low lying book shelf and crawl into it. The room is pitch black and all that can be heard is my shallow breathing. I hold my breath the instant I hear the click of the door open and light pours into the room. Squinting my eyes tight, I try and tell myself more and more that I’m not afraid, that I will see Corey again, but I honestly don’t know.

The silence is almost suffocating me, it seems like minutes or even maybe hours I have been hiding here, afraid to leave my hiding place
. I’m getting more and more claustrophobic by the minute. Then, I hear footsteps directly in front of me and I stop breathing. Strong hands come around me, pulling me from the book case. I let out a shrill scream, as the person holding me shakes me.

“Open your eyes Mimi, I got you.” I pop my eyes open at familiar voice.

“Ryder?” I ask faintly, not sure if I’m seeing him or not. His green eyes shine down on me glimmering in the small amount of light in the room. He gives me his signature panty dropping grin and I can’t help what I do next. I’m overcome with so much emotion that I hug him. Really hug him, like bear hug.

“Thank you so much,
I’m so fucking relived I could kiss you right now.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, but you’re more than welcome to. I’m always up for offers.” I
laugh the crazy kind of laugh when you’re caught between happiness and sadness.

“How did you know?”

He raises his eyebrow at me, “Well, I know it’s hard to believe but I do watch out for you girls. I saw you panicking, and noticed him before you did. I called Corey and let him know and I took care of him.” He smiles, and I can’t help but be thankful. For once I’m glad Kennedy was with us, because I know he wasn’t watching me just to watch me, or maybe he was. Who knows? Corey is family after all.

“What did you do?” I eye him curiously.
He looks anywhere but at me, as a slow blush mars his cheeks. There’s not a hair out of place on his head, no bruises line his jaw, and he appears to be unharmed. But still his eyes won’t meet mine which means he did something. I grab for his hand but he pulls away, putting distance between us. When he finally does look at me there’s darkness in his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter what I did to him
. All that matters is that you’re okay.” His voice is gruff. I shudder not really in fear, but because of the way he’s looking at me. I get the feeling Ryder’s darker than Fifty Shades of Grey. 

“Right, thanks.” I stammer unable to look away from him, not really knowing what else to say.

“Stop staring at me.” He says glaring.

I shake my head trying to bring myself out of the trance. Ryder would so be worth someone’s time if he wasn’t such an ass.

“Um… I’m going to go.” I slide past his body, and to the door. Before I even get a foot away from him his hand wraps around my wrist, stopping me dead in my tracks. His grip is light, but I know it could change in a second. What makes him so different from Rex?

“That girl you’re with, what’s her name?” Oh really, curious huh.

“Anyone ever tell you curiosity killed the cat?” I couldn’t be anymore annoyed with him right now. I know he saved my life, but to be so cold afterwards and ask me about someone he shouldn’t be is just wrong.

“Anyone ever tell you that when I want something I get it?
”

I can’t help but roll my eyes at
him; this is what I don’t like about Winchester men. They are arrogant, cocky, pricks who think that if they see something that it’s automatically theirs to take. Sorry sweetheart, but life isn’t like a box of chocolates.