Black Hills Angel (Black Hills Series) (11 page)

Andy padded softly across the floor, trying not to make too much noise. She reached for the coffee canister in the cupboard and winced. Aching muscles were starting to be the norm. She really should invest in a better rocking recliner, but that would have to wait until she found another job. Her stomach clenched. Being let go from her position as a hospitality clerk wasn't so much the issue as was the way that it happened. She could handle being fired. Of course it didn't sit well, but there were other jobs. She sighed. Taking the scoop from the coffee can, she carefully measured the grounds into the filter and turned on the pot. Soon the rich aroma wafted through the kitchen and into the apartment.

Today she would start looking at the want ads and see if she could find a suitable job. It didn't have to be permanent, but just something she could work with until a better one came along. Matt had offered to help. She appreciated the shoulder he had provided her with, but this was her life and her daughter. It was up to her to make sure they were stable. Of course things over the last year were anything but on firm ground. Andy pulled out a stool at the kitchen island and placed her coffee cup in front of her. Gingerly climbing up onto it, she struggled to keep her eyes open.

She was tired, but it was more than being awake all night. It was struggling to understand how all of this happened and how she had gotten so turned around. Andy rubbed a hand across her eyes, blinking back the tears that always appeared when she followed this emotional route. Before Harper she had been pursuing a college degree in accounting. Another two years and she would have graduated. Instead one stupid mistake had cost her all her friends and family. It made her leave the only home she had ever known and drop out of college at least for the foreseeable future. Andy couldn't imagine trying to get her degree now and raise Harper alone.

Hopeless thoughts! Stop dwelling on what cannot be changed, Andy!
An inner voice chided her on her pessimism. There was a great deal she couldn't change. Lord knew she missed her family. She missed the security of knowing they were there for her. Her chest tightened. She would
never
let Harper down like her own parents had their only daughter. Harper would never have to wonder if she was loved and if her mother would be there for her. She shuddered at the inner turmoil.

Andy carefully took a sip of her coffee, feeling the hot liquid brand her tongue. The more time that passed didn't seem to clarify any of her emotions or her plans. Being alone to handle all of this on her own was making her bitter and bitterness had never been part of her personality. Her childhood had been relatively happy and she had fairly safe hopes and dreams. The one minute she fell outside of her comfort zone had been the moment that changed her course. When Harper was born and she held that little bundle in her arms, she swore that even though she didn't know which direction to go in, she would move forward. They would move forward together.
You're not moving at all.
That was probably true, at least before Matt had entered their lives.

"Penny for your thoughts." A soft, male voice whispered in her ear. She should have jumped at the surprise of him standing behind her, but she didn't. Instead she warmed, her body reaching out for the comfort of his. Turning her head, Andy looked up into his big blue eyes. Desire melted in with concern and something else she couldn't name. She didn't want to name it. She offered a half smile, thinking Matt had never looked sexier with his brown hair stuck up from running his fingers through it. She wanted to do the same.

"I didn't hear you get up." Her voice was husky as she felt his arms go around her waist, hugging her into his firm body. Her heart sped up, banging in anticipation.

"It was those dark thoughts that had you occupied. I said your name a few minutes ago and you didn't answer me." He kissed her neck, the pressure of his lips feather-light.

"I'm just tired. It was a long night. Again." Andy tilted her head to the side allowing him more access to continue his kisses along her neck. Her eyes drifted closed. She felt the clenching of her chest ease and her thoughts cleared. She felt his palms rise along her ribs, caressing her stomach and covering her breasts. She leaned back into him, providing him even greater access. She really didn't want to think anymore. She didn't want to do anything but feel. Matt seemed to accept that, at least for moment. Her body came alive at his touch, wanting more and more. His fingers incited a riot as they squeezed her breasts and he groaned in her ear. It sent shivers down her spine to the regions that cried out most for his attention.

"It was a long night. I don't think that is what you were thinking about, sweetheart." His words were a breath against her skin, but it felt more like a brick upside the head. She closed her eyes tightly, hoping he would back off the subject. As quickly as his attentions had come, they receded and she stiffened.

"I don't want to talk about this, Matt." She ground out the words with bitterness and anger. The boiling of both anger and desire were a powerful combination and she felt their affects exceedingly well. Her throat felt dry. Unshed tears made it burn and she blinked furiously.

"How can I understand if you will not share with me? I know your past is painful, but honey, it was not so long ago that it cannot be mended." He swiveled her stool to face him and he lowered himself to her level. "Surely you know that you are not alone anymore. Whatever it is will not make me run." His deep blue eyes challenged her to confide in him. She fought the urge to get away from him. This was definitely not where she thought this was headed.

"Matt, you cannot expect me to lay everything at your feet. We have known each other for such a short amount of time." She ran her hand through her hair. Her upset was growing and she knew this would be a turning point for them. If she didn't confide something to him, he might draw back. If she did confide in him, could she trust him to stay, even if he didn't agree with her? Indecision burned, bright and hot.

"I want you to know that I care about you and Harper, Andy. I think deep down you know that you can trust me." He lifted her chin with his finger, acknowledging the war inside her. She did know. Somehow the answer rang in her heart. She was more certain about him than she had been at any other junction in the last year.

"I do know." She bit her bottom lip, drawing her teeth across its fullness. She swallowed hard. "I was just thinking about how different everything has been from the way I imagined it. I've spent the last year basically alone with no one to turn to. I never thought it would end up this way." Her voice cracked. Tears strangled her and she drew in as deep a breath as she could muster. Matt looked as if he wanted to say something, but he kept quiet. His eyes watching her carefully.

"One foolish mistake and it cost me my family and my friends at school. I went from happy sophomore college student to a pregnant drop out. Can you imagine it? Everything shattered with a single action. I certainly couldn't, but it happened to me." She felt the tears start to leak from her eyes, trailing down her cheeks to plop heavily on her shirt. She tried to focus on the two pools of blue in front of her, willing her to let him help her. She felt her heart swell, hope renewing itself in happy coincidence.

"So when you told your parents you were pregnant, they shut you out?" His voice was soft, strong and for the most part, without emotion. She wondered how he did that. She had a hard time distancing herself, but of course it happened to her and not to him.

"Not at first. They were angry that I had gotten pregnant and didn't have plans to marry the father. My father said I should give up the baby for adoption. They don't believe in abortion, which is just fine because that was never going to happen. My mother tried to convince me it would be the right thing. Some other couple could raise my baby and give it the life I couldn't at my age." She looked down, sliding a hand over her stomach, remembering the life she carried inside her. "The more I prayed, the more certain I was that I couldn't give Harper up. I said as much when my parents had our
family discussion
one night. So yes, after that, they closed the door. My grandmother took me in and asked me to live with her here in Rapid City. A few months later, she died. A stroke, the doctors said." Her voice was only a whisper now, the pain and sadness radiating from it in waves.

Good lord!
Andy had never said it out loud before. There was never any reason to share it. She couldn't stop the tears. She couldn't stop the heartache that threatened to swamp her. Matt pulled her into him, pulling her off her stool and into his arms. He held on. He didn't say anything philosophical. He didn't blow up and rage with anger for her. He simply let her cry.

Chapter Twelve

It had been a week since Matt had turned over Andy's cell phone to the police and his lawyer. Since then he and Andy hadn't been contacted by any strange and menacing texts or phone calls. He knew better than to think that Monica had given up.
Give up
wasn't exactly in her DNA. Matt threw another load of laundry in the dryer and closed the door. Starting it, he put soap and clothing into the washer. Putting the basket on the dryer's top, Matt went back upstairs to get ready for work.

He took out his phone and looked for incoming texts. Nothing. He had sent one this morning to Andy, but he hadn't heard anything back from her. It wasn't really a surprise. Harper had been in quite a snit last night and hadn't wanted to sleep. Andy was probably up most of the night again. Offering to stay over, she had pulled back and told him it wasn't necessary. His stomach knotted. Since he had pulled part of the hazardous past from her, she had withdrawn slightly. He had no illusions that she had shared with him
willingly
what she really hadn't wanted him to know.

Matt put the phone back in his pocket and found his boots by the stairs. He had this gnawing feeling that he should take today off of work, but he would end up at Andy's apartment. Frowning slightly, he wasn't sure it was the place to be until he was invited back. He wanted to help. He wanted to understand. What he didn't get was why she should be embarrassed by what her family did to her. She was the victim, not them. They were the parents and she was the child. There should have been very little judgment and every bit of support behind her decision.

Roughly tying his laces and pulling his pant legs down over the boots, Matt stood. Grabbing his wallet and keys, he stepped outside and locked the front door. On the way to his truck, his cell phone vibrated. His heart jumped. Retrieving it from his pocket, he swiped the screen and clicked on the message. Andy. The sigh of relief only lasted a moment as he read what she had sent him.

Tires flat on my car. All of them! Please come to the apartment. --Andy

"What the f...!" He growled as he punched in his reply. Unlocking his truck and getting inside, Matt felt possession and severe annoyance take hold. This should have been getting better, but it was out of control. After a week of silence, now it was escalating to damaged property! He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and backed out of the driveway. He wasn't sure how this was going to end, but it had to. He wasn't willing to lose Andy and Harper over Monica's crazy stunts.

In no time at all, he pulled into the apartment parking lot and saw Andy's little car. It wasn't anything special, but it was reliable. Andy walked over to him, her face clouded with an unreadable expression. Harper bounced on her mother's hip, a light blanket covering her footie jammies.

"I didn't know who else to call." Andy's voice was quiet and he heard the unsettled anger. He looked at the car and walked over to it. The tires on the little car were flat; all four of them. Matt grimaced inside. Was he putting Andy and Harper in danger here? Squatting near the front tire, he carefully ran his hand around the tread and then around the wall. He could feel a rough piece and he bent down further to see if he could identify what had caused the tire to deflate. Inwardly he swore as he realized what had happened. He checked the other three tires in the same way. The swearing became more colorful as he took out his cell phone and selected a speed dial. It rang.
Once. Twice. Three times.

"Rapid City Police Department. How may I direct your call?" The operator asked politely.

"Detective Briggs, please." Matt tried not to snap at the lady, but he couldn't keep his impatience out of his voice.
This was all going too far.

"Yes, please hold." The operator put him through and he waited, listening to the weird elevator music. It was only a minute before the line was picked up.

"Detective Briggs." The detective answered in a professionally clipped tone.

"Briggs, this is Matt Johnson. I am at Andy Martin's apartment. Her tires have been slashed. I think you should come over and take a look." Matt's voice was direct and to the point. The detective said he would be right over. After that was taken care of, Matt placed a call to his lawyer. A minute in conversation there and he felt ready to explode. Monica should count her lucky stars that she wasn't anywhere near him. He wanted to strangle her for messing with Andy and Harper.

"Matt, it's getting worse. She isn't going to let this go until I stop seeing you." Andy's voice wavered. Her eyes didn't quite meet his and it made him feel even worse than he did.
Is she breaking up with me?

"Andy, we will figure this out. There isn't a whole lot more I can do. The police are aware of this. My lawyer says he is working on the paperwork to get the protection order. It is all just taking way too much time!" He speared his fingers through his hair, ready to do battle and he didn't want to do it with her. She was worried enough without adding his frustration and anger to the mix.

"I know, Matt, but I have to think about Harper. If Monica is responsible for doing this," she waved her hand at the car and continued. "Then what else is she capable of? I can't leave this to chance." Her words were starting to give him the chills. She was sounding as if she had made up her mind to cut ties with him. He didn't want that. He didn't ever want that.

"Andy, let me talk to the detective on this case. We will see what he has to say. Once we know what he is thinking, then we will make any decisions that need to be made." He closed the mere feet between them and tipped her chin up to look at him. "Please don't shut me out. I will do whatever it takes to keep you both safe. I can't let you go." He didn't want to have to plead for her to stay with him if it wasn't in the best interest of her infant daughter. Still he felt their best chances were together and he would fight for them. It was one of the few things he was absolutely sure of!

"I'm going to take Harper inside and feed her. Come up after you talk to Detective Briggs." Her green eyes swept over him once more and in the midst of the anger, he felt desire build. He watched as she juggled Harper, her hips swaying in time with her stride. He wanted to cup her firm backside and pull her into his body. He wanted to kiss her lips and wipe away all the worry he saw on her face. He wanted to make her want him. He wanted to make her happy.
Why did everything have to be so complicated?

***

Matt knocked on her door almost an hour after Andy had left him in the parking lot with her vandalized car. Finding all her tires flat had caused some confusion, but knowing that they had been deliberately destroyed had made her blood run cold. Why was this happening to her? It just seemed another thing to add to the craziness. She would happily have chalked this up to coincidence, but she knew that it wasn't. It was another scare tactic to get her attention and this time it was truly caught.

She continued to rock Harper in the chair, trying to calm herself and put the baby down for a nap. Matt came in, shut the door firmly and went to sit on the couch. Her breath caught in her chest, her heart speeding up. Oh how she wanted him! In the short time that she had known him, he had already wrapped himself up so well in their lives and daily routines. It had become so easy and so simple at least when he wasn't trying to ferret out information. Telling him that she couldn't see him anymore was going to hurt far worse than she wanted to admit. He hadn't tried to be anything more than her friend and the desire between them only encouraged that flame brighter and hotter.

Andy tried to focus. She had to get through this. Quickly, like ripping a bandage off and mourning the loss later. It was now or never. If she continued to stare at him, she would fall even deeper into
them
. She took a deep breath and summoned enough courage to meet his gaze. She saw the blast of heat from those blue eyes. They smoldered with a passion she had only just tasted. Her stomach fluttered, anticipating many more encounters. Appalled at herself, Andy ruthlessly shoved them down.

"Matt, we can't do this anymore. We can't see each other anymore."
There! Oh, gosh!
Her stomach fell as her mind boasted in triumph. Matt's blue eyes never wavered. The fire didn't leave them either. He remained still on the couch. Andy swallowed hard. What else did she need to say? She hugged Harper closer to her for comfort. She couldn't stop looking at him. Slowly he shook his head no.

"No, Andy, this isn't over. We are not over. I refuse to let Monica win. This is what she wants." His voice was strong, low and steady. There was absolutely no doubt that he wasn't taking no as an answer. She pressed her lips together. She assessed the situation. He didn't look angry. He didn't seem to think she meant the words that she said. He was calm and collected.
Lucky him!

"Matt, what is she capable of after all this? I'm afraid to be here alone with Harper. If giving you up will get her to back off of me, then I have to do it!" Uncertainty and panic clawed at her throat. Her heart was banging wildly against her chest. This was not going well. This was going to hurt.

"I'm sorry. I never thought this would happen and I sure as hell didn't want it to happen to you and Harper. You do not deserve this!" He fumed quietly on the couch, trying not to wake Harper. He sat forward and looked directly at Andy. "I do
deserve
you! You can't tell me that you want us to break up, can you?" All the questions in his eyes nailed her self-esteem. She wasn't sure at all, but could she tell him that? The inner war of a mother was bloody and deadly. Harper's safety and welfare came first.

"Honestly, Matt, I don't see any other way." Her voice came out soft and he strained to hear her. She had to look away, blinking back the tears that pricked the corners. Her chest felt tight. No words came for several minutes and finally she looked back over at him. Matt still sat forward with his palms over his eyes, running each hand through his short, dark hair. The silence was so strange with all of the feelings darting between them. The clock ticked the seconds down.

"There is another way. You can move into my house with me. The upstairs would be perfect. We can do anything you need to feel comfortable, but I won't let you stay here alone. I can't let us go." His gaze nearly incinerated her on the spot. He was so sure. He was laying so much on the line and he was moving at light speed in their relationship. Her inner self yearned for his strength and his certainty. Leaning her head back against the chair's cushion, she continued to rock Harper. She took in a few deep breaths, trying to calm her clamoring thoughts.
Is this right? Is it wrong? What do I have to lose?
She had her heart to lose and without much thought, she realized it leaned towards Matt Johnson anyway.

"I don't know, Matt. I have only had myself to depend on for the last while, but you have shown me that you can be trusted. You have to promise me something." Her words were firm. She watched him.

"Name it." His voice was husky and it sent shivers across her skin. She punched her resolve into submission.
Sweet lord, isn't he sexy!
Her train of thought was starting to wander.

"If this doesn't work and Monica doesn't lay off, we cool it for a while. It might not mean breaking up completely, but until you can get her to stop, we let
this
go." She gestured to the space between them. His brows raised slightly and his mouth opened. She knew he wanted to refute what she was asking of him, but he silently packed his argument away.
Probably for a better time.
She would deal with that bridge when they got to it. She wasn't very good at long term planning. Right now, they had to take one day at a time. It was all she could handle emotionally.

"All right." Matt pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. Lifting it to his ear he waited. "Hey Margaret, I won't be in today. Can you have Garrett call me when he comes into the office? No, everything is fine, but if our lawyer calls there, direct him to my cell phone. I need to speak to him too." He nodded and finished with a goodbye. He hung up and slipped the phone back in his pocket. Andy figured she had better put Harper down in her bed.

Sliding out of the chair, Andy grimaced as her lower back screamed at her. She definitely wouldn't mind the more comfortable looking furniture in Matt's house. A slight worry about Garrett's reaction came and went. She would leave that up to Matt. She was taking a huge gamble and she hoped it would pay off. Gingerly she lowered Harper into her bed and covered her with the blanket. She stayed a moment, looking down on her daughter's softly rounded cheeks.
Am I making the right choice?

"Her mother deserves to be happy. It will make Harper happy to see you living and enjoying life again." Matt's voice was soft at her ear, his warm breath caressing her neck. Andy closed her eyes. She had been so absorbed she hadn't heard him come in. Her nerves skittered at the brush of his breath and she longed for his touch elsewhere.

"What if I get hurt again, Matt? What if this all blows up in my face and I can't move past this?" Her voice was equally as soft, but the pain and doubt that threaded it was very real. He slid his arm around her waist, pulling her back against his front. She closed her eyes when she felt his muscled frame holding her up. Longing to lean against him and let him fight the world for her, Andy sighed.

"Baby, I can't tell you that you won't hurt again. It happens far more often than we would like. I can promise that I will never hurt you intentionally. I want to slay all of your dragons if you will let me." Matt kissed her neck, his lips hot and firm. His words had comforted. They were a balm to the raw wounds still open and sore. She squeezed his arm and hugged him.