Christy: A Journey Tale (2 page)

However, the longer Jennifer watched them the
more she could feel the energy and it had to be important for them
to get special permission to stay in and do it. After this went on
a little longer Jennifer couldn’t resist her curiosity.

“What are you doing?” she asked as she raised
her head up, but remained in her chair. The girls had not paid any
attention to her up to this point and to Jennifer’s surprise they
still didn’t respond. So she asked again, and this time she said it
loud enough she couldn’t be ignored. The girls immediately stopped
what they were doing including Susan Armstrong who halted in mid
stride to glare at her.

“We are practicing,” she said in a tone to
ensure that Jennifer understood exactly how stupid her question
was.

“If you’re going to win you have to
practice,” said another girl Michelle just to throw in her own two
cents. Susan looked quickly over at her with a thinly veiled sneer
and then back at Jennifer. Michelle had to know she was dreaming if
she thought she could beat her.

More intrigued than ever Jennifer got up form
her desk and made her way over to the girls to better understand
exactly what they were doing and maybe even join in, but this was
not to be.

“Stop,” Susan exclaimed stopping Jennifer
dead in her tracks. “Go back to your desk,” she boomed in what
would have been a good imitation of the teacher. Susan even had her
arm stuck out pointing Jennifer back in the direction of her desk.
“You are sick,” she said with superiority. “My mommy said I’m not
allowed to get sick and I have to take lots of vitamin C.” Jennifer
thought about this for a moment, but she made no response. She
turned around feeling defeated and made her way back to her desk.
She had wanted desperately to protest and had even wanted to say
that she was feeling a lot better now, but even that seemed
inadequate and stuck in her throat.

Jennifer laid her head back down on the desk
and watched the girls in wrapped attention for the rest of the
recess period. They never even looked in her direction as far as
she could tell and that made her feel something she couldn’t
describe. She studied them in every detail from the way they moved
to the variations in style between them. In that short hour
Jennifer locked away in her mind what she saw as the best each girl
had to offer. That evening Jack and Mary Beth could not help but
notice the singular preoccupation of their daughter. As soon as
Mary Beth brought her home from school she bolted for the stairs
running up to her room slamming the door shut behind her. She then
remained cloistered there until dinner was ready a few hours later.
Mary Beth looked at Jack in confusion when they heard her leave her
room only after repeated yells and even a few threats. Jack gave
his wife another look when Jennifer finally stomped into the room
and plopped herself into her chair. She crossed her arms and pouted
in silence not turning to look at either one of them.

Over the next half hour they peppered her
with questions in an attempt to figure out exactly what happened to
her at school. They were becoming frustrated now as each question
was deflected with an annoyed shrug or an “I don’t know.” The
couple again exchanged glances that now shifted from confusion to
worry. Jennifer seemed as if she was hungry, but was only satisfied
with reduced portions. She ate as fast as she could and when she
devoured the last carrot she announced she was done and asked to
leave the table.

“Honey, what are you doing up there?” Her
mother asked determined to get to the bottom of this. It had gone
on for far too long.

“I’m practicing,” Jennifer said, a little
embarrassed as she finally relented. “I’ve got to practice if I’m
going to win.” She said as she slid off the dining room chair and
took off toward the stairs bounding each one with a thump before
they had time to call her back to her seat. Her parents were
stunned as she left in a blur. They looked at each other one final
time each knowing that they were thinking the same thing. They gave
it a few minutes and when they were sure she was fully engrossed in
whatever she was doing they rose from the table and deftly made
their way toward her room. When they arrived they stood just
outside her door and listened for a moment. The sounds from inside
were strange, like she was slowly walking across the room,
stopping, and then waiting a few moments before returning back the
way she had come. After a few minutes Mary Beth had heard enough as
she put her hand on the door handle and gave it a turn. To her
surprise it didn’t budge an inch. Mary Beth looked annoyed as she
grabbed it harder this time and attempted to turn it with
authority, but the result was exactly the same. This was no longer
a game. Jack backed away as she stood in front of the door and
knocked loudly yelling for Jennifer to unlock it. It took a little
longer for this to happen than Mary Beth thought it should and that
made her even angrier. Jennifer was obviously taking her sweet time
to comply with her demand. Her temper rose with each extra moment
she waited behind that locked door.

“Young lady when I tell you to do something
you’d better do it.” She said even before the door was fully
opened. Jennifer had already begun walking back to her bed where
she sat down in a sulk. Jack and Mary Beth both scanned the room as
soon as they were inside. They didn’t know what they were expecting
to find, but they were expecting there to be something. Their
expressions morphed into bewilderment as everything seemed normal.
The room looked exactly the same and was just as clean as it had
been that morning. This surprise made Mary Beth forget momentarily
about the door as they both zeroed in on Jennifer. Mary Beth had
let her temper get the best of her and so as they made their way to
where she sat, Jack took the lead proceeding with his usual gentle
touch.

“Jennifer, your mom and I are worried about
you. We didn’t know what you were doing up here all by yourself,”
he said reassuringly as he sat on the bed next to her. Mary Beth
followed close behind and took a seat on her other side.

“I told you I was practicing.” She said with
exasperation. They both looked at each other even more confused
than ever. Jennifer was clearly unwilling or at the very least
unable to explain exactly what she meant, so maybe the best way to
get to the bottom of all this would be for her to show them.

“Honey, I’m sorry. I’ll tell you what, why
don’t you show us what you’re practicing? That way mommy and daddy
can see what you you’ve been up to.” Jennifer thought about this
for a second then slid off the bed and walked over toward the far
wall. To her parents astonishment she pasted the biggest grin on
her face they had ever seen. Jennifer could see their reaction.

“I have to show my teeth when I smile.” She
said through her stretched lips as she took off across the room in
a slow, but confident cantor. As she walked her back was straight
and her eyes intense. When she got close to the other end of the
room she stopped, turned slightly, and positioned herself into a
pose. After a few moments she reversed the process going back
across the room and giving the same pose before pretending to walk
off the runway. Both parents were impressed, but speechless at her
performance.

“Honey…have you been doing this the whole
time you’ve been up here?” Jennifer nodded her head, but was a
little irritated by her mother’s question.

“I told you, I have to practice if I’m going
to win.”

There are moments in every parent’s life when
they are surprised by something their child says, something that
shouts to them that while their child might be young in body and
spirit their mind is constantly in motion. In that moment they
realize that their son or daughter has aged far beyond their years
and that clearly you have missed some part of their maturation.
Within the course of a few minutes Mary Beth felt as though her
daughter had jumped from 6 to 16. This is definitely not something
the parenting books prepare you for, but Mary Beth knew there had
to be something else going on here. That level of competitive
spirit doesn’t evolve in a vacuum. This depth of emotional
involvement had to include someone else, and that someone must have
hurt her. This made Mary Beth angry, and she almost blurted out
something that would not have helped the situation, but thankfully
she caught herself at the last moment. It was more important to say
something that would strike at the heart of the problem, than to
worry about finding the perfect thing to say.

“If you want to win the pageant that also
means that other people will have to lose. Is there anyone in
particular that you want to lose?”

“Yes,” she said with determination. “I want
to take vitamin C and win.” She said just as serious as she could
as Mary Beth struggled to keep a straight face. Mary Beth looked up
at Jack and smiled, but then turned serious as she looked back at
Jennifer again measuring her response.

“If you are practicing to win because you
want to do your best then I support you. But, if you only want to
win to beat someone else that’s not called winning. That’s called
revenge. Do you know what revenge is?” She shook her head.

“Then let’s talk about that.” Jack said as he
decided it was about time that he chimed in. Jennifer listened as
they talked and she dutifully responded letting their emotion and
cadence guide her to the answer that would satisfy them. She
realized that when she was asked if she wanted to compete and do
well in the pageant that it was an important question. She shook
her head in the affirmative that she wanted to do well because she
wanted to use her talents to the best of her ability, even though
these sentiments did little to change her true motivation. Jennifer
was even more determined and confident than she had been
before.

When the day of the pageant came she walked
across that stage with the air of a seasoned veteran. The energy
from the crowd and the adrenaline surging through her system gave
her a single determination to make it the best run she had ever
made. When she was done and came off the stage Susan’s jaw was on
the floor and she couldn’t help but feel that she had achieved
something great. It was a victory, but it was not the war. Jennifer
knew there was more than one round, and it had only just begun. As
the pageant progressed her confidence grew as well as her rivalry.
Each time Jennifer was called back to the stage it made that girl
even more nervous and Jennifer relished every moment of it.

When it was over, Susan accepted a small
trophy for first runner up with a scowl. At that moment, Jennifer
realized the crown was hers and she knew her victory was complete.
She could even remember how heavy it felt on her head, but when she
walked toward the bottom of the stage her eyes went to where her
mother was cheering but her father wasn’t there. It was no secret
he was out of town on business and he had not been there the whole
time. It had not bothered her at all the three other times she had
been down the runway, but this time it did matter and all of a
sudden her triumph became hollow. She was still happy and her smile
was just as bright, but on the inside it was a completely different
story. That was the one and only pageant she would ever participate
in.

“That is why we should rejoice,” the pastor
proclaimed as his raised voice pulled her back into reality. “We
will miss him. We will all miss him dearly, but it is a happy day
when we return home to rejoice with our heavenly father.” The pain
she felt that day was as real to her now as it had been on the day
of the pageant. He had abandoned her again and this time she needed
him more than she had ever needed him before.

The pastor walked over to Mary Beth and
offered his condolences to her and then to Jennifer, followed close
behind by the funeral director.

“My condolences again for your loss Mrs.
Randall,” he said intimately as he leaned close to speak to her.
Mary Beth thanked him politely as she dabbed the tears from her
eyes. “It will take us about two hours to finish with the
arrangements and then you are more than welcome to view the grave
at that time. If I can do anything else to be of service to you or
your family please don’t hesitate to call.” Mary Beth thanked him
again in a quiet whisper. The crowd then began to stir as a line
quickly formed to Mary Beth’s right. It was now the turn of friends
and assorted relatives to give their obligatory condolences before
they could depart. Jennifer had lost count of how many halfhearted
thank yous she had been forced to utter. Finally, when the last
mourner had past, it was just her, her mother, and a few workman
who had already begun to lower the casket into the vault. Jennifer
sat there uncomfortably as she waited for her mother to move, to
stand up, to do something besides just sit there. Jennifer had been
what she considered more than patient, but still her mother didn’t
budge. Jennifer began to fidget and sigh. She even made a show of
looking at her watch. These were all the tricks she had used
growing up that she knew would annoy her mother, but it was no
good. Mary Beth still remained, unmoved by Jennifer’s anxious
displays as the workers made adjustments to their equipment.

“Mother, you’re making them uncomfortable.
I’m sure they’re not used to having the relatives stare at them
while they do their job.”

“Really,” Mary Beth said as she continued to
face forward choosing not look at her daughter. “They don’t look
uncomfortable to me.”

“Fine then, you’re making me uncomfortable.”
Jennifer said as she perched on the edge of the metal folding
chair.

Mary Beth was hurt for a brief moment and
almost said something about her daughter’s insensitivity, but she
knew that if she tried to argue with her now it would only make
things worse. Mary Beth took in the sight of the lid being lowered
to seal the vault. At that moment she said goodbye to the man she
had been with for almost 40 years.