Christy: A Journey Tale (4 page)

“Thanks dad,” she yelled as she slammed the
door. Her white prom dress billowed behind her as she ran. He could
see the front door from where he was parked, and watched as she
went in through the main doors. She was so beautiful, more
beautiful than he could remember, and it sickened him that she
would have to grow up tonight so quickly.

Jack didn’t know if it was going to be good
or bad, but he braced himself for the worse. As it turned out he
didn’t have to wait very long. He had turned his head to watch the
sunset and when he turned back toward the door he could see her
standing just inside. There was a look of terror on her face as she
scanned the parking lot, but then when she saw he was still there,
she took off in a sprint with tears and make up streaming down her
face. She flung the truck door open and doubled over in the seat,
burying her head in her hands.

“He never told you what really happened did
he?” Jennifer asked with a smirk.

“What do you mean?” Mary Beth said as she sat
up realizing there was more to this story than she was led to
believe.

“He didn’t just stand me up. He got a better
offer and conveniently forgot to tell me.”

“What?” Her mother gasped.

“Yes, when I got to the gym that night, thank
goodness dad had the sense to wait. I think he knew what was going
on, but he knew I wouldn’t believe him if he had tried to tell me.
When I got inside I started looking for the guy. It took a few
minutes, but when I did see him they were off in some corner making
out. I couldn’t believe it. I recognized her immediately and right
then all the pieces began to fall into place. I was so devastated I
just had to get out of there. I don’t know what I would have done
if dad hadn’t been there waiting for me.” Jennifer sniffed and took
a deep breath. She wiped her eyes as her mother hung on every word.
“I found out later they had broken up earlier that year and it had
been their plan up to that point to go to the prom together. The
first girl he asked turned him down and I think the only reason he
asked me was because he knew I would say yes. So…when this girl got
dumped she asked him if he wanted to go and that left me odd man
out. The creep knew how it would hurt me and he was just too
chicken to come clean.”

“Your father told me he went out to a movie
while you were at the prom.” Mary Beth said as she was still trying
to understand what really happened. Jennifer gave her mom a wry
grin.

“Did he tell you he went to a movie or did he
say he went to a movie while I was at the prom?” Mary Beth smiled
too as she was beginning to get it.

“He just said he went to a movie.”

“And that’s exactly what happened. He did go
to a movie. The only difference is I went with him.”

“I always told him that lies of omission are
still lies, the little devil.” She said as they both laughed. They
sat there for a moment and then Mary Beth decided to broach the
subject again. Things were starting to make a lot more sense. “He’s
not here for you this time…is he?”

“No…he’s not,” Jennifer said as she broke
down leaning forward into her mother’s arms.

Jennifer stayed in her mother’s embrace until
she couldn’t take the pain from the center console any longer. Her
mother was warm and tender, and when Jennifer had her eyes closed
she could imagine herself fifteen again in the arms of her father.
The whole experience was so surreal she wondered if it could
possibly be true. She looked into her mother’s eyes as she brushed
her bangs away from her face.

“Honey, I know it’s gotta be tough going
through whatever it is that you’re going through, but don’t forget
that I love you, and…I’m here for you.”

“Oh mom, I know that. It’s just that…”
Jennifer paused not sure how to finish the sentence.

“It’s just what,” she said irritated as she
realized she would have to take a more direct approach. “I know you
don’t want to face it, but I can’t help you if you don’t tell me
what’s going on with you and Paul.”

“Mom,” Jennifer said worried and exasperated.
Her mind raced to find words for all the thoughts and emotions
swirling around. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t think that she
could tell her mom, but that she simply didn’t know where to start.
She looked away from her unsure of what to do.

“Honey, I was married for a long time, and it
may surprise you to know that you father and me went through a lot
more than you may realize.” Jennifer turned quickly to look at her
mother with a glint of shock in her eyes. It took Mary Beth a
moment and then she caught her daughter’s insinuation. “Good grief.
Jennifer! There was never anything like that.”

“What…” she said with a smile.

“No…nothing like that,” she said as she
returned her grin. Mary Beth didn’t have to let her imagination
wander far to figure out what Jennifer was thinking. “You see
that’s the thing that most people never figure out. I’m not talking
about the big stuff. For things like that you either forgive them
or you don’t. What I’m talking about is much more difficult. It’s
the simple act of just living together that is infinitely more
difficult. I mean dating is great with all the romance and
passion…”

“Mom,” Jennifer exclaimed.

“Well, anyway, you get the idea but nothing,
and I mean nothing can be as difficult as spending year after year
with the same person.” She said as she exaggerated the length of
each year. “I’ve even heard women describe their marriages as if
they were prison sentences, and in some ways that analogy isn’t
much of an exaggeration. The monotony of waking up every day and
simply going through the same motions that you’ve been through a
thousand times before is beyond words to describe. I remember your
father and I had a fantastic honey moon.” She said as she closed
her eyes reliving the memory. “Then two weeks later he was back on
the road trying to sell those stupid sanitizers. After being
together it was tough without him. He was usually gone during the
week and then come back for the weekend, but then when Monday
morning rolled around he was back on the road. To be honest it was
more like dating than it was a real marriage.”

”Didn’t you miss him?” Jennifer asked a
little surprised that she let him go so easily.

“Of course, I missed him, but after a while
it just became our routine. I liked having him around, but then
again I only had to put with the things that annoyed me for a few
days. After he was gone the house was all mine and I could do as I
please. Looking back on it now it was really the best of both
worlds. I had all the joys of marriage, but I also got to live my
life the way I wanted to without having to make any accommodations
for anyone else.

“It still sounds lonely to me.”

“In some ways it was, but like all things it
didn’t last forever.”

“So what happened?”

“Well, you happened.”

“What?” Jennifer asked a little confused.

“I got pregnant and Jack didn’t think it was
right for me to be alone for such long stretches. He switched jobs
so that he could be home every night. He had to take a pay cut
though and that didn’t make me very happy. I appreciated the
gesture, I guess, but I could take care of myself if it was all the
same to him.”

“So what happened next?” Jennifer asked in
anticipation of the good stuff.

“That’s it. That’s what happened. One of the
hardest times I have ever had in my life was when your father came
home every night. The truth is we had to face reality and get down
to the business of being married. See, that’s the thing that made
it so tough. There was no single thing that you could point out and
say, “Stop doing this because you’re driving me crazy.” It was a
thousand little things that I didn’t realize bothered me. All I
knew was that I was constantly annoyed by him.”

“Did you fight?” Jennifer asked as she fished
for the juicy details.

“Oh my goodness did we fight, and what made
it worse is that we fought over absolutely nothing. It’s like we
were constantly mad at each other and it was just easier to yell
than it was to talk about what was really bothering us. Then again
when we did try to talk we had no idea why we were so edgy and we
would just go back to fussing at each other. Looking back on it now
I just might have killed him if I thought I could have gotten away
with it. Then again it didn’t help matters that I was so stubborn.
I had my routine and my way of doing things, and I was going to
stick to it no matter what. When I put my foot down, that of course
only encouraged him to do the same and you know I wasn’t going to
have any of that,” Mary Beth said with a laugh.

“So what happened? I mean obviously you
stayed with him.”

“I did stay with him, but for a long time it
was only out of sheer will. Even though it hurts me to think that
there might have been times when he thought I didn’t want him. I
have a lot of regrets, but there was no way I was going to let him
go. I think that confused him because I acted like I didn’t want
him around, but at the same time I wouldn’t let him go. I guess it
didn’t make any sense to him, but then again it made perfect sense
to me. That’s why you’ve got to be the one to make it work. Men,
just don’t get it and if they’re worth holding on to, you have to
hold on with both hands. Listen to your heart, Jennifer, and let
your intuition guide you. Men are instinctual. You know you can
take the man out of the cave, but you can’t take the cave out of
the man.” She said with a smile.

“I couldn’t agree with you more.” Jennifer
laughed.

“See, that’s why you have to understand the
cave to understand the man. He wants rules and boundaries and
absolutes.”

“Is that what you did with dad?”

“Well, eventually I suppose, but it took me a
little while to figure that out. Fortunately, for us we both came
to our senses at the same time.” Mary Beth said as she tried to
keep herself from laughing as she thought about it. “Of course,
it’s funny now, but back then…yeah it was funny then too, but it
took some time for us to appreciate the moment.” Mary Beth paused
letting the anticipation build.

“You are killing me. Are you going to tell me
already?”

“Shhh, I know I’m getting to it. So your dad
and I are eating dinner one night and he got up from the table to
get something from the kitchen. I don’t even remember what it was
now. Anyway he comes back into the dining room just a yelling at me
about how I left the oven on again. Which I might have had the
habit of doing, but I always noticed it eventually and turned it
off. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal, but now here he
comes just a fussing about how I might as well be throwing money
out of the window. Oh, you better believe that just flew all over
me. Money had become the hot button between us anyway; and when he
threw that in my face, it was the last straw. I told him right then
and there that I would leave that oven on all day if I wanted to.
He took that crappy job by choice and if he didn’t make enough
money that was his fault. That was a soft spot for him, you see,
and I knew it would hurt him.” Mary Beth said with regret.

“What did he say to that?”

“I don’t remember exactly, but I do remember
that the conversation went down hill from there. When it finally
ended, I was standing on the porch yelling, with my pregnant belly
all hanging out and him standing in the rain in his boxers trying
to find his car keys in the yard.”

“Why were his keys in the yard?”

“Because that’s where I threw them.” She said
with a grin.

“Did you really?”

“I most certainly did, and he didn’t find
them for another six months until he was out there doing some yard
work.” She said with a laugh. “I think he got so mad at me it
cleared his head; and I got so tickled at watching him looking for
those keys in the dark it brought me back to my senses. The whole
situation was so ridiculous we couldn’t help but admit how silly we
were. That was the moment when we finally stopped yelling around
our problems and started facing them. Your dad and I had been
together for two years at that point, but I would say that’s when
we were truly married.”

“Oh mom, you’re going to make me cry
again.”

“I’m going to make myself cry if I keep on. I
just want you know that you may not know what’s bothering you, but
you know there’s something in the way of your relationship. I think
very few people have a moment like your dad and me when all your
problems seem so clear and you see yourselves exactly as you are.
We were lucky. So what you have to do is ask yourself: what is
really in the way of your relationship and is the relationship
truly worth fixing? Do you want to be with him? I mean really with
him?”

“I see what you mean,” Jennifer said
distantly. “I think I do. I think I really want it to work.”

“If that’s what you believe, then hold on to
him and fight the battles that are worth fighting and forget
everything else. Don’t forget to always attack the problem and not
each other.” She said with a warm gentle smile.

Jennifer eased on the brake as she judged the
speed of the oncoming traffic. She glanced up at the rearview
mirror and then made a quick left hand turn into the cemetery. They
were coming back now as Jennifer and her mom both decided that
neither of them were all that hungry by the time they were ready to
go into the restaurant. This was especially true after Jennifer got
a glimpse of herself in the vanity mirror. Their emotional exchange
had left her makeup a little worse for wear which naturally made
her shy away from going out in public. Then again they were only
going out just to kill time, and they had certainly done a good job
of that. They both agreed that by now it had probably been long
enough for the guys to finish.