Class Trip (15 page)

He moved his
pillow over to my side and fluffed them up. He raised my feet and
turned me so I was lying down in bed but still propped up on the
pillows. I was panting like I had just finished jogging.

He covered me up
and moved his chair in close. He had a bowl of soup in his hands now
and he was holding the spoon in my direction like he wanted to feed
me.

The spoon came
closer. I opened up and he slowly slid the spoon in. His mother had
something to say again and he was nodding. Was she giving him
instructions on how to feed me? This didn't make any sense at all.

Why would he take
care of a slave? He could just let me die and choose a new girl.

I felt so tired
again. My eyes were closing and my head sank into the pillows. I
moved a little so I was on my side.

“No Sandra, not
this time. You have to eat. I need you to get better.”

“Why?” I
asked him. This didn't make sense to me.

He looked so
surprised. His mother said something again. She was just standing by
the door with the dirty sheets in her arms.

“I'll wash them
as soon as I can. I'm sorry,” I told her. My entire body pulled
together. Would they hit me because I wasn't functioning like I
should? I was shaking in fear of them.

“Shh Sandra,
it's okay. No one is going to hurt you. I decided that you are too
young to work. First things first I need you to get better.”

“Why? What
happens then?” I was still crying and truly scared.

“Then we can be
happy together.”

I cried all the
more because of his words. He just looked at his mother unsure. She
said something and left.

He held another
spoonful of soup out to me. I took it and five more but then I just
couldn't anymore. He looked so disappointed. He set the bowl on the
floor and moved so he was sitting behind me in bed. I was shaking in
fear. What would come next?

He grabbed my
hand and talked softly to me. I couldn't understand what he was
saying. I drifted off to sleep.

Tata was always
there when I woke up and he was always nice to me.

He told me things
that didn't really make sense for him to tell me. He talked about my
mother, who was looking for me. The fact that she was going to the
trouble seemed to surprise him.

Tata promised me
that she wouldn't find me. He said I was safe with him. He acted like
I would be sad to be home with my mother again.

Was there
something wrong with him?

More than I had
thought?

Tata was holding
on to me and walking with me again. This was something his mother
usually oversaw. She would scold him not to let me fall and that I
needed to get my blood circulating. He agreed with whatever she
wanted. He fed me and showered me or she did.

There was an
elephant in the room. And he was ignoring it and I was too afraid of
him to ask him about it, the baby.

When I was almost
better he came in one day and pulled the chair from the corner close
to me.

I was lying in
bed and just watching him.

He was quiet,
looking down at his hands and he would look up at me every once and a
while like he wanted to say something but then realized that it
wasn't any good.

“Sandra, I love
you very much and I am sorry for your loss. I don't know how you felt
about the baby but you must have known.” He sighed before he
continued, “If you ever think that you may be pregnant again I want
you to come to me and tell me. If I'm not here, then I want you to
tell my mother. Losing a baby is a terrible thing to have happen to
you and everyone was being so mean to you.”

He looked me in
the eyes then. “I didn't marry you so I could starve you, or make
you slave away in the house. You are relieved of all of your duties
and you get meals three times every day. That was a bit of a
misunderstanding. Everyone assumed – Never mind, we will all be
watching that it doesn't happen again. I promised to take the best
care of you and I will stay here a while and make sure that that is
the case. How you were treated in my absence wasn't okay. It
explained the stabbing. I deserved it even. I was punishing you
because I wanted you to know your place and – I was upset because I
had missed you so much and you didn't miss me. You were probably too
tired and too hungry to think about anything else.” He covered his
face with his hands. “I'm really sorry. I will make it up to you,
angel.”

I was too
flabbergasted to answer him. The pain was clearly written on his
face. He truly felt guilty. I looked away from him until he got up
and left.

I didn't know
what to say. I blamed him for everything.

He was right
about that.

The next morning
he got me up and dressed, doing every little thing for me. He took me
by my hand and brought me down to breakfast. Most of the girls were
gone. A table of three I didn't know were left. I was somehow glad
about that. I didn't want to see the girls from my school anymore
either.

Ten boys were
still here. They sat away from the girls. The whispering began the
second I walked in. I heard things like
I thought she was dead
as Tata sat me down at my spot.

I looked at him
and he pretended that he didn't hear them. Usually he would have gone
over to them and beat on someone.

He got me my
breakfast and everyone watched that I was eating. One of his brothers
was missing again. I knew that he was in France at a language school
that had kids from all over the world who were there to learn French.
Americans were among them. They brought in more money. I was
surprised that he could speak it so well that he could teach there.
It was one who had driven the bus.

“Sandra, eat
nice for your Tata,” Maria said and the others all nodded, even his
brother who had beaten me. I looked down at my plate like I was
surprised that it was there. This was all a bit much for me. Their
hate had somehow been easier to take.

“Eat as much as
you can, angel. Then at lunch you can have more.” He was trying to
remind me that I would get fed again today like he had promised.

I ate what I
could with everyone watching me chew. My teeth hurt. I was only used
to soup and mashed potatoes with soup for sauce on it. That was what
he had been lovingly spoon-feeding me in our room.

I did my best and
then we went out for a walk, just the two of us. I couldn't think of
anything to ask him. He was being really quiet too.

“How is your
business doing?” I asked him. I wanted to talk to him. He was being
so kind to me.

He smirked at me.
“Things are going very well. This kind of business always does
well.”

“Whose idea was
it?” This is something I had been wondering about for a while now.

“My father
started it when the borders opened. Well even before that. That house
used to belong to nobles but then Communism came and then it was a
bordello. You got more money if the girl was from the west. That was
how my mother came to be here. My father kidnapped her and then he
fell in love with her. I don't think she ever loved him back, but he
made her sleep with other men too. I would never do that to you.

“The truth is
that this is my family business, in third generation.” He looked at
me then. He wanted to see how I would react.

“If our baby
had survived would you have expected him or her to be part of the
business too?”

“No. Next year
we are all going to pull out and never return here again. Once each
of us has enough we will quit. We are really close. We all want to
quit before we are caught.”

“Do you feel
bad for the girls and boys that are sold?” I asked.

“Not really.”
He looked at me again and saw that I didn't like his answer. “Sandra,
angel, you are comparing them all to you and you just can't. None
were ever as nice as you are. Besides if we didn't do it someone else
would. Our idea with the class trips even got copied. They were
caught and at the moment the police think that they were responsible
for kidnapping the ones we did too. I think we just have to do it
three more times and then you and I are going to take off and live
the good life.”

“What is the
good life?”

“Just you wait
and see. I have it all planned and I will be able to spoil you every
day. You will have the best of everything just like you deserve.”

“I don't need
anything.”

“Yes, you do,
but I was thinking about things you don't need. Just for fun.”

I didn't know
what to think or what to imagine so I concentrated on the ground in
front of me. I could hear something like a zapping noise off to my
right. I pulled Tata that way so I could investigate. He let me.

I saw a dog with
his paw caught in an electrical fence. I let go of Tata's hand and
grabbed onto the dog and pulled.

“Sandra no,
don't!”

I could feel the
shocks and I was gasping loudly but I pulled the dog out of the fence
and shook the pain from my arms as I checked over the dog.

Tata wrapped an
arm around my waist and lifted me up off the ground. He sat down on a
rock. Seconds later I was over his knees. He lifted up my dress and
tugged down my underwear. He started in smacking really hard and
lecturing me. Mostly he asked what I was thinking.

“Do you know
how close I came to losing you when you lost the baby? Way too
close.” he answered himself. “If the doctor hadn't been there
then you would have died and I would have been all alone without you.
I can't live without you and I won't lose you over such nonsense. You
can't put yourself in harms way.”

He spanked me for
a very long time and I was howling. I even heard his brother come to
see what was wrong. Tata sent him away saying that this was between
him and his wife.

“Damn, I wish I
had my cane. That was so stupid. You could have gotten killed. Do you
realize that? Do you even think at all before you do something?”

“Tata,” I
sobbed. I reached back and spread my fingers wide, trying to protect
the greatest amount of area.

He grabbed my
hand and went at me all the harder. Three minutes later I was limp
and sniffling. Too tired to cry aloud anymore. He was still smacking
on.

“I love you so
much and you may not do anything dangerous. Ever.” He pulled me to
his chest and held me close. “What would I have done without you?
You can't do that to me. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Tata.”
I held on to him tightly.

“No more
nonsense. Promise me that.”

“I promise.”
I was holding on to his shirt with my fists as I clung to him. I was
sniffling my answers.

He kissed me and
rocked me. When I had calmed down enough to walk back we noticed a
dog following us. I was leaning on Tata and he had his arms wrapped
around me, holding me close “I think he is thankful. Do you know
him?”

“He is just one
of the dogs. We have around ten of them here. They are here to bark
like crazy if anyone gets too close to the fence. And not get caught
in it,” he said to the dog.

“I wish I knew
his name.”

“I'll find out
for you, angel.” He smiled at me like he was very in love with me.

“You aren't mad
at me anymore?”

“Of course not.
But you did give me quite a shock.”

“I think I was
shocked foremost,” I teased him.

I had to ask
myself how I could be smiling at him so happily after the thrashing I
had just received.

The whole family
was gathered together as we came in.

We were still
smiling and laughing because the dog wanted to follow us inside and
Tata had to do a lot of hand waving and scatting noises to get rid of
him.

The family all
looked confused and they dispersed.

After that I got
to go for walks in the morning by myself. My dog, Wolf, would be
waiting for me by the side of the house. Maria complained that I had
ruined him. He no longer protected the fence but now the house and he
checked everyone over who came and went. Maria would send me off for
a walk if she knew that someone was due to come.

I always returned
home to Tata. We were getting along splendidly. He kissed me and pet
me a lot but he stopped before having sex with me. He said he would
wait for me to be all healed up. I figured that he was sleeping with
the three girls.

Not really
sleeping with them. He slept with me every night but he had sex with
them while someone taped it. I was glad that there were no such tapes
of us together.

I mentioned that
once while we lay in bed cuddling. I was worried about hidden
cameras. He got mad and told me that no man would ever see me naked
except maybe a doctor and then either he or his mother would be
present. He went off on a long speech about how I was just his and no
other man would ever be allowed. At the end of his five-minute speech
he asked if that was clear.

“Yep, that's
what I wanted to hear.” He cuddled with me even more and then he
talked about the places in the world he wanted to take me to.

“Tata, that's
an awful lot of flying around. I am more the homebody type. I like to
sleep in my own bed at the end of the day.” I patted the bed.

“I'll see to
that too, angel.” He hugged me close and I thought that he was
building castles out of air, as the Germans said to something that
wasn't likely.

Tata said that
Wolf loved me. He followed me around whenever he could. He howled
when I went in. Maria often let me bring him into the kitchen and
give him something special to eat.

Tata was busy
this morning again so I went out to play, as he called it, all by
myself again. Wolf was waiting for me by the door. We walked and I
talked to him about this and that. He seemed to be listening to me.
It was starting to get colder but nothing close to what I was used
to. Nonetheless Tata had insisted that I wear a sweater when I went
out to play.