Dare (Finding Love Book 1) (2 page)

I watch the girl kick off her shoes before closing the door. I can’t help but stare at her, though I know it’s incredibly rude. Her red hair is cascading down her back in loose curls, a few tendrils falling over her eyes as she looks down. “Who is this?” she softly asks, her voice withdrawn.

Jaclyn jumps in, waving her hand in my direction. “This is Jennifer, our new roommate!” She grins, though it’s a little wobbly, as if afraid for this girl’s reaction.

Something is a bit off about this girl, and as she lifts her head up, I realize what it is. Utter brokenness. This girl went through something - something bad. Her large, blue eyes are empty, drawn and hollow. But that’s not all. A scar, starting from her eyebrow, curves down to the middle of her cheek. It’s white and obviously old, but I can only imagine the pain she’s gone through.

She looks at me, taking in my wrinkly shirt, old cutoff jean shorts and my black Vans. I don’t know what my hair and face are like, but I hope what I’m thinking isn’t visible. I’d hate for her to think I’m judging. Because I’m not.

Finally, she waves and attempts to smile. It stretches the scar, scrunching it up. “It’s nice to meet you, Jennifer. I’m Hayley.”

I nod my head. “It’s nice to meet you. I hope you’re okay with me being here,” I tell her warily.

She tilts her head to the side, her blue eyes considering, calculating. “I’m sure we’ll all get along fine. I’m not a bother really.” She crouches down to grab her purse before walking over. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Thanks,” I tell her.

She nods and without another word, heads down the hall. I look over at Jaclyn in question. “Hayley… I don’t know much about her. I saw she was looking for a room and I got her to move in. That was two weeks ago and I still can’t figure her out. She’s super nice, quiet, and doesn’t really cause trouble.” She shrugs. “Perfect roommate it seems. Though I do wonder,” she absently says, trailing off.

My eyebrows rise in question. “Wonder what?” Hayley definitely has my attention. Though I’m too nice to come right out and ask what happened, I am curious.

Jaclyn drags my duffel down the hall. I pick up my box and follow her. “What she went through. She screams in the middle of the night sometimes and I won’t lie, it scares me. I’m not really one to comfort, it’s just out of my realm I guess, but I wish I could do
something
for her.” She’s leaning down, whispering so Hayley doesn’t hear.

I don’t have the heart to tell her that
my
screams will probably wake her up too. Feeling slightly uncomfortable talking about Hayley, I change the subject. “So, rooms?” I ask her as we’re just standing in the hall now.

She laughs. “Right! So the bathroom is next to your bedroom. Our rooms are on the left.” She points to her left where two doors are. Jaclyn pushes open the door on the right, revealing a bedroom.

It’s pretty sparse. A bed with a white sheet on it is against the wall. It’s pretty large, bigger than the twin I had to sleep on at home. There is a clean desk on the other side of the room, a door next to it. A window is straight ahead, though there isn’t really a view.
At least sunlight can come through.

Upon seeing my duffel and box on the bed, the realization hits me. I have a room all to myself, and no one is here to tell me what to do. I’m free, for the first time in my life, and I don’t have to worry about showering at a certain hour or making too much noise.

I’m on my own, and it feels amazing.

“This is great, Jaclyn. Thanks,” I say, finally allowing myself to smile.

She chuckles. “Sure. Now, you unpack. Want to get dinner tonight? We have a cute little diner down the road.” She leans in. “The sexiest waiter works there. I’m close to catching him.” She grins and winks.

Laughing, I nod. “Sure, I’d love to.”

As she leaves the room, I take another look around before falling on the mattress. This is it. My new beginning.

I have a good feeling about it.

_*_*_*_

An hour later, I head into the living room. I’ve taken a shower, glad to get the dust and all around dirtiness off me. It’s still sunny and warm, so I find another pair of shorts and a green T-shirt. 

I’m done unpacking, but it depresses me to see the lack of personal items I have. The day I left, Mom trashed most of my belongings. All I have are clothes, a picture of Mo and me, and a necklace my grandma gave to me years ago before Steven came around. The yelling, sounds of flesh meeting flesh, and cries for help are all I hear sometimes. These last few years have been the hardest and to finally be free of it all, it doesn’t seem real.

Feeling a dark cloud hovering over me, I shake my head.
No more thinking about it. That’s the past, and it’s staying there.
A few seconds later, Jaclyn and Hayley come out, wearing clothes similar to mine.

Jaclyn claps her hands. “Ready? I need to reel in Sexy Waiter. This is my night, and I
will
get some.” She winks.

Shaking my head at her, I laugh. Jaclyn, I’ve come to learn, is blunt, funny, and has one heck of a dirty mouth. As I was unpacking earlier, there wasn’t a curse word she didn’t say. Some were even made up.

Hayley, who has been quiet this whole time, pats Jaclyn’s shoulder. “Cool down, J. You’re going to set the apartment on fire with the heat in your eyes.”

I gawk at her and Jaclyn laughs, pointing a finger at my face. “You should see your face right now. Didn’t expect that, did ya?”

I shrug with a smile. “Honestly? No.”

This time Hayley pats my shoulder. “It’s okay, you’ll get used to me.”

Not wanting to wonder about that any longer than I should, I follow them out the door and down the stairs. For such an expensive apartment building, you think there would be an elevator.

We head to the diner, deciding to walk instead of using Jaclyn’s blue Prius. Along the way, I ask them questions. From that time, I realize the topic of family and school are off limits. Doesn’t make my curiosity any better though.

They ask me questions too, and like them, home and school are off limits. Guess we have more in common than we all realize.

We finally reach the diner and head inside, Jaclyn making sure we’re on the Sexy Waiters side. I slide into the booth, the smooth vinyl warm from the sun shining through the window. The diner has 50’s memorabilia all over the walls, a colorful jukebox near the entrance and Coca Cola signs hanging up on the walls.

Jaclyn hits my side, and I turn to her. “There he is! How do my boobs look?” she asks seriously.

Looking over at Hayley, who shrugs in response, I turn back to Jaclyn. “Great, Jaclyn. You have amazing boobs.” I give her a thumbs up.

She smiles and pulls down her shirt, revealing the top of her purple bra.
This one is crazy.

The waiter - Mr. Sexy - stops at our table and flashes a bright smile. She was right, he looks like a model. Dark, close cut hair. Blue, crystal like eyes and the chin of a God. After we finish our ogling, I look at the menu.

We order something to drink, and I find it hilarious that I have to repeat my order two times before he looks away from Jaclyn - or more precisely, her boobs that are playing Peek-A-Boo.

Hayley watches Jaclyn with amusement. As I spend more time with her, I realize she’s not
completely
drawn in and sad all the time. She has moments of laughter and sarcastic comments that have us in stitches.

“There, now that I’ve shown him I want to be a cowgirl, he’ll be galloping over here with his number pretty soon,” Jaclyn says, her colorful eyes watching him walk around the restaurant.

And like clockwork, he comes over with his phone number in hand. I have to give it to her; she knows what she’s doing.

We’re halfway done with our meal when someone stops next to our table. We all look up.

A tall brunette with curious brown eyes look down at us. “Hey Jaclyn, Hayley.” She nods to them before turning to face me. “I’m Sydney. A junior at the college. You are?” she asks me pleasantly.

“Jennifer. Freshman at the college.” I smile at her.

“It’s nice to meet you then! So, ladies. I have something to give you!” She places a dark blue paper down on our table.

I lean over to read it. It’s for a masquerade party at one of the frat houses in a few days. Apparently there is one every year sometime before school starts.

Jaclyn purses her lips. “Sweet, we’ll definitely be there.”

Before Hayley and I can interrupt, Sydney walks away, leaving the paper on the table. “A party?” I ask dubiously.

“What?” Jaclyn shrugs. “It sounds like fun and it’s a masquerade one! How cool is that?”

Hayley and I shrug at each other. A party does sound like fun. Especially one like this. I mean, what could go wrong?

I stare out the small window, the view nearly hidden behind a brick building. Only a sliver is seen, a small glance at the blue sky and the busy street.

It’s been a few days since I moved in, and I’m enjoying every moment of it. It’s been quiet around here though, and I won’t lie, it freaks me out. Every small sound has me jumping, my heart racing like danger is around. I know there isn’t. I’m safe here in the apartment; the security system is amazing.

That doesn’t change anything though.

Double checking that no one is around right now, I set my book down. Some romance book I got from a gas station while on the road. A hunky, tan man poses on the cover, a green and red kilt the only piece of clothing that adorns him. I have a thing for Highlanders - my guilty pleasure.

Shoving my threadbare blanket aside -the one Grandma made me years ago - I walk to my room. Hayley has music on, the mellow sounds of jazz filling the apartment. Jaclyn, on the other hand, has been quiet for hours. Not a usual thing for a weekend and I wonder what she’s up to. That can wait till later though. Closing my door, I drop to my knees and reach under my bed for the box I brought with me.

I pull off the lid, shoving a few items aside. This box contains one of the most important things: a picture of Mo and me.

Finding it, I sit back against my bed and draw my knees up. I graze the picture with my finger gently, hovering over Mo’s young face. The picture was taken before Steven came along. That day I remember well. Mom took us to the pier in Seattle. We hadn’t been before, and Mo wanted to see the aquarium. So we went, and it was the best day I ever remember having. In the picture, Mo and I stood before the water, the blue waves glistened as the sun shone down on it.

I recall the sun peeking through the clouds, a sliver of heat warming my skin as a breeze from the water came in, ruffling my hair a bit as the picture was taken. Our smiles were big, practically showing all teeth and revealing identical dimples on each of our cheeks, his on the right, mine on the left. This was really the only way to tell who was who at the time, as we were the same height, and Mom refused to cut his hair short.

Sadly, I smile as I look at the picture in my shaking hand. The tremors are getting so bad; I wonder when the last time I ate was. It’s hard to remember when your energy is non-existent.

Today is the five year anniversary of Mo’s death.

And it still hurts.

Mo was my teammate, my buddy, my confident and reason to work my ass off to get into college. We made plans. We knew where we were going to go, when, and how. But our chance was missed.

What if, what if, what if.
Nothing you can do about it now, Jen.
Though I tell myself this, I know it’s harder to move on.  How can I? Mo was my little brother - okay, by ten minutes, but still. It was my job to protect him, and I didn’t. Circumstances are still vague about his death. No one saw it happen, but apparently he was in a car with some friends and they crashed. Then the car exploded.

Too bad I don’t believe that.

Steven is, and always will be, on my list as a suspect. He never liked us, and sometimes I wonder why he even married my mom. What’s the point if you hate the kids?

“Hey, Jen?” Hayley knocks on my door.

I put the picture back in the box and shove it under my bed. Wiping my face, I stand up and go open the door to find Hayley shifting her feet side to side.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask her while fiddling with the hem of my tank top. It’s an uncomfortably hot day today, and I’m once again wearing my cutoff jean shorts. With the way this is going, I’ll need more.

Haley twirls her hair with her finger, the red strands wrapping around her pale skin, creating a mesmerizing contrast. “Could you help me with something? I’m having the hardest time picking out what to read.” She smiles nervously.

Trying not to stare at her scar, I shrug. “Sure.” I can help with that.

“I have a few in the living room.” She turns around, and I follow her. Like she said, there are a few books sitting on the coffee table. I look at all the titles, a few familiar. “I haven’t read any of these yet. What do you think?” she asks as she sits down on the recliner.

Since I just finished reading one of them, I point to it. A girl with brown hair is laying sideways, her hands under her cheek.
Hopeless
is across the top in blue letters. “Read that one. It was amazing,” I tell her before falling onto the couch.

She picks it up, frowning at the title before reading the back of it. I watch her, noting how stiff she is as she reads the synopsis. Her eyes show nothing, just a dull blue. Then she shrugs. “I guess I can read this.”

I raise my eyebrows at her. “You don’t have to. Just a suggestion.”

She shakes her head, red curls bouncing around her face. “No, it’s fine. Thanks.” She flashes a small smile.

“No problem.” Discreetly, I continue to watch her as though something wasn’t right, realizing I’m treating her like a sibling. I need to remind myself that she isn’t Mo. We aren’t siblings. But then I find it hard not to worry. It’s just who I am.

She’s reclining back, the footrest up. Her eyes fly over the pages, and I finally relax until she talks. “The pain lessens but never stops hurting.”

I look up at her in shock. She isn’t looking at me, her eyes still set on the page before her. “Excuse me?” I ask. Maybe she said something else.

Still reading, she says, “The pain lessens but never stops hurting.” She looks at me over the top of the book. “Your pain will always be there, but it won’t hurt as much. It will be a dull throb, as though something is shoving through your thoughts.”

Gaping at her, I start to feel angry. How can she possibly know that? That I hurt? She doesn’t know what I’m feeling or what I went through. So how can she say that to me?
Stop,
Jen. She’s just trying to be nice.
Helping me. I haven’t had much help in my life, so it’s weird to get some.

I take a deep breath before slowly letting it out. “Thank you, I guess?”

She nods slowly. “Of course. And I don’t know anything about your past, if you were wondering. I hardly know you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t spot the pain you try to hide.”

Feet come barreling down the hall, interrupting our talk. Jaclyn skips into the room, the giant smile on her face slowly falling as she notices our long faces. “Holy shit, did someone die?” she asks, plopping down next to me.

Hayley rolls her eyes and sets her book down. “No, nobody died. We were just talking about school.”

Jaclyn groans. “Don’t get me started on
that
. It’s coming too soon.”

Sitting up, I pull in my knees and settle my chin on them. “What’s your major, anyway?”

She purses her lips, narrowing her eyes. “Don’t laugh. Everyone does when I tell them.” She waits for us to nod before continuing. “I want to be a second grade teacher.”

Hayley and I can only look at her in shock. “A teacher?” Hayley asks incredulously.

Jaclyn, the cursing queen, wants to be a teacher? She’s so blunt, impatient, and loud. Never would I have thought it was possible.

Jaclyn sighs. “Yes, I’ve always wanted to be a teacher. I adore kid.” She grins. She shakes her head. “What about you guys?”

“Nursing,” I answer. I’ve always wanted to take care of people. Mo would always joke that I was his second mom, always watching, helping and nurturing him.

Hayley nods. “You’ll be a good nurse. I’m going to get my English major. I want to be a writer,” she says shyly, as if awaiting our disapproval.

I hum in approval. “Hey, that’s wonderful! Have you written anything before?” I ask her.

Her pale skin heats, a rosy red color blooming along her neck and cheeks. “Yeah, a few novels.” She shrugs. “It’s not a big deal.”

Jaclyn sits up straight. “Not a big deal? Hayley, writing is huge! I can’t even write a paragraph before I give up. Writing a
novel?
That is amazing.”

I nod along. “Yeah, it’s amazing.” I hesitate to ask, but… “Can I read something?”

Like I thought, she looks down at her lap and picks at her nail polish. “Oh, uh. If you want.” She surprises both Jaclyn and I by saying that. “It isn’t edited or anything though.”

Shrugging, I smile at her. “That’s fine with me.”

“I’ll send it to you tonight then.” She smiles, a
real
smile. We don’t see it much around here.

Jaclyn claps her hands. “Okay, serious question. What are we going to do about our masks for the party? I have no idea where to buy some.” She frowns.

“Here, I’ll Google and see if there is a store or something,” Hayley says, digging out her phone.

“I don’t know what I want for a mask. Something dramatic and colorful.” Jaclyn looks at me. “What about you?”

“Not sure yet. I guess I’ll know when I find it.” I shrug.

“Got it,” Hayley pipes in. “There is one not too far from here.” she looks up at us, waiting for our answers.

“I’m up for it,” I tell them.

Jaclyn jumps up. “Let’s get our asses to this place. I need a mask so I can start planning on my outfit.”

Shaking my head, I go grab my shoes. Once we’re all ready to go, I lock the door behind us and we pile into Jaclyn’s car.