Dare (Finding Love Book 1) (8 page)

I remember this particular day. It started out as one of the best days we had in a while. At the time, Dad was working at the bank in town, though he was always complaining about how restricting it was. Mo and I were younger then, about eight years old, and we didn’t really understand what he was talking about. To us, he was the man in charge of all the money, keeping it safe from burglars.

“
Mo! Stop taking all the room!” I yell at him, my Popsicle dripping down my arm, leaving a red stain behind.

He sighs and sits up, scooting over to make more room for me. “Don’t drop that on the blanket. Mom will get angry,” he reminds me.

I scoff. “I’m not going to -“ The melting Popsicle now lies on the blanket, red already seeping through the fabric. With wide eyes, I look up at Mo. “What do I do?” Worried, I glance over my shoulder to make sure Mom doesn’t see. She’s still sitting on the chair, one of those pretty glasses in her hand. I once asked her what it was she was drinking, and why the glass was so pretty. She said it was pretty because it holds a beautiful drink, wine. Sweet and rich, it belongs in such a glass.

I wanted one to be just like her, but she said it’s a grown up drink, not for little girls.

“Mom isn’t paying attention, like always,” Mo rolls his eyes.

I pick up what’s left of the Popsicle and toss it on the grass. The stain isn’t that bad, Mom won’t notice. I hope. Just then, the door swings open and we turn to see Dad heading our way. Ignoring Mom’s greeting, he bends down to kiss the top of our heads. “Hey, Princess. How’s my little girl?” he asks as he picks me up.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kiss his cheek. “Good. Just playing with Mo. Mom is drinking the pretty drink again,” I tell him.

His eyes darken, and he turns around to stare at her. “Okay, baby girl. Play with Mo. I’m going to talk with Mom.”

I nod as he sets me down. I walk over to my chalk and start drawing on the ground, frowning when Mo steps all over my flower. Turning to look over my shoulder, I see Dad standing in front of Mom, angry. He always gets angry when she drinks. I can’t hear them, but I know it’s bad this time when she throws her glass at him. I wince as it hits the ground. Hundreds of little sparkling glass pieces litter the patio, and I mourn the loss of the pretty glass.

The screaming gets louder but fades as the scene changes. Steven stands above me and Mo, glaring at us like we’re the gum on the bottom of his shoe. His face is purple, eyes bulging as he shouts down at us. I can’t make out the words, just that we did something bad. Bad enough to make him angry, to hit us.

Mo is sent flying back with a groan and now I can hear what Steven is saying. “Filthy, ungrateful brats!” he screams as he kicks Mo over and over again.

“No! Stop it!” I beg, unwilling to let Mo get the brunt of this. He didn’t spill the milk, I did. It should be me who gets kicked.

He swings his gaze to me now, dark intent in his eyes. “You’ll get what’s coming to you.” He grins.

I scream as he leaps at me…

I sit up in bed, gasping and looking around for him. It takes me a few minutes, but I calm down enough to realize Steven isn’t here to hurt us – me - anymore. The dreams have started again since I got the texts. It’s all coming back to me, the pain and fright.

Lying in bed, I go over the dream, seeing it piece by piece. I haven’t had the one with Dad for years now, but I’d rather have those than the other two. Those are way worse, and I don’t think I can properly function if they come back.

Wiping away the tears in frustration, I get out of bed and walk over to my window. The sun is barely up, and I know I have a few more hours to sleep - if that was possible. I wish they were just normal nightmares, the kinds that are made up ones. Instead, these nightmares were once my reality.

Picking up the picture with Mo in it, I hold it close to me, needing him today. I haven’t carried around his photo in a while, but every now and then, I need the peace of it. It’s the only way to feel him with me.

Slowly, I prepare for my day, dreading class and work. The only upside is seeing Dare. Just thinking of him perks me up, something I’m not sure should happen. I’ve
really
talked to him a few times, but he has a pull on me. He’s the harsh current pulling me out into the middle of the dark storm. I can’t shake the sense of foreboding, like something isn’t entirely right. If I can stay away from him, I would, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I’m sinking and fast.

Violently pushing those thoughts away, I head out into the living room. Hayley is in the kitchen making… pancakes? “Hey, what’s going on?” I ask slowly, eying the odd scene in front of me.

She smiles at me over her shoulder, and I blink in astonishment. “I’m making breakfast! We don’t have classes till a little while yet, so I thought, why not?” She shrugs.

Why not? This change in Hayley is confusing. Just yesterday she was staring at the wall in her pajamas, quietly muttering to herself. Don’t get me wrong, I like seeing her this way, it’s just surprising. “I guess so. I haven’t had homemade pancakes in…forever.” I sigh.

Her brows lift. “Forever? Wow! Well, allow me to change that. Sit, eat, and be merry.”

“Thanks, Ma’am." I laugh.

A few minutes later, I look down the hall. “Where is Jaclyn? She loves pancakes.”

She starts to braid her hair, so effortlessly I’m jealous. My braids never look like a hairstylist did it. “She left this morning. Said she’ll be back in a few days. I tried asking but she wouldn’t answer me.”

Furrowing my brows in concern, I take my phone out of my pocket and text her.

Hey, everything good?

I set it down next to my plate and start eating. “I was thinking of borrowing that red nail polish you have,” I say.

Hayley brightens. “Oh, you mean Wanted… Red or Alive?” She snickers.

I cough around the pancakes in my throat. “What? For real?”

She nods. “Yeah, they have the best names.” She shakes her head in amusement. “My favorite is
Silent Mauvie
.”

Shaking my head at the fact I’m having this conversation, I push away from the table and wash my plate off. “I’ll stick with the red. Why can’t it be Candy Apple Red? Makes more sense to me,” I mutter to myself.

I stop thinking about nail polish names and slip my phone into the back pocket of my jean shorts. Jaclyn still hasn’t texted back, and I’m lying if I say I don’t worry. Because I do, big time.

Slipping into my flip flops, I grab my bag and wait for Hayley. We sometimes walk to the college since our classes are only moments apart in starting. Patting the outside of my bag where Mo’s picture is, I head down the stairs and out the door. I want to ask why Hayley is so happy today, but I don’t want to make it stop. It’s refreshing.

“Aren’t you hot in those?” I venture as I take in her black skinny jeans. “It’s like, a billion degrees out here.”

She snorts. “Is not. I’m naturally a cold person, so no, it doesn’t bother me. Hey, I’m heading out after classes today. I’ll be back around eight, so don’t worry.”

Nodding, I peek over at her. “Yeah, no problem. Where are you off to?”

She bites her lip before sliding on a pair of sunglasses. “My aunt’s. It’s not too far from here. I just wanted to let you know.”

When we reach the college, we go our separate ways. I’m a little bit early, so I stand outside the classroom. Peeking inside as the light turns on, I see Dare and my heart starts to pound. I roll my eyes. That thing has no boundaries. Dare is cleaning out a garbage bin, head bobbing to the music coming from his earbuds. I watch with amusement, unable to stop smiling. After a few minutes, he heads to the door, obviously done with his job here.

I step back as the door opens, and he stumbles to a stop, surprise on his face before he slams his emotions down. Back is the usual stone face Dare. “Hey,” I smile at him.

He pulls out his earbuds and stuffs them in his pocket before nodding at me. His lips are drawn in tight, and his eyes look everywhere
but
at me. I frown, a rock of worry weighing down in the bottom of my belly. Confusion racks me as he nods once more before wheeling his cart away. Hurt as his obvious brush off, I watch him leave. Did I do something? I sigh before heading into the classroom. I can’t think about this right now, not with a major study session going on, but no matter how hard I try to keep my thoughts on the professor and his lecture, Dare keeps shoving his way in.

_*_*_*_

At work that night, my thoughts aren’t on shelving books. I’m thinking about Dare and what he’s done. Who does that? If he doesn’t like me or want to see me again, he just has to say it. Maybe he doesn’t feel what I feel, it can be all on my side, but does it have to hurt so much?

“Hey, cutie.” Cole grins as he knocks his cart into mine.

I smile up at him, glad for the distraction. “Hey! You never texted me back. Was everything all right?”

He waves his hand. “Oh, yeah. Turns out that family emergency was my dad needing help with his TV.” He scoffs then softens. “Sorry about canceling by the way.”

I shake my head with a smile. “It’s all good.”

He leans against the bookshelf, hands in his pockets. “So, wanna go out tonight? There is a really great concert in the park.”

A concert in the park? Not a fancy, ritzy restaurant? “Sounds amazing. I’d love to.” I tell him honestly.

“Great. I’ll meet you at the doors after work. See ya, cutie.” He winks and pushes his cart down the hall.

I bang my head against the book spines and close my eyes. What I am doing anyways? Two guys? Nothing has been made official, so I’m not wrong in what I’m doing. If Cole asks me to be his girlfriend, I’ll have no choice other than to stay away from Dare.

Resolution made, I finish filing the books and head downstairs. Cole is outside, leaning against the pillars and I start to smile when Dare appears, a cold look in his eyes. “What do you want?” I snap at him, my earlier ire coming back full force.

A slow smile spreads across his face and damn if it doesn’t make my knees weak. “So two guys? I didn’t think you had the guts to do that.”

I glare up at him, my chin wobbling as I take in what he said. He’s thinks I’m a whore! “No, you’re mistaken. Just
one
guy. Have a nice life,
Dare
.” I storm off, biting my lips hard to keep the tears at bay.

Cole straightens up as I walk past him, confusion on his face. “Let’s go. I really need a break from all…
that
.” I wave at the library.

Still baffled, he follows me to his car and I wait for him to unlock the doors. Like I said, I’m in need of a break, but not from the library, from Dare. I need to forget all about him, and to be totally honest, I don’t blame him for being angry about Cole. In fact, it just helps me realize that I shouldn’t be with him.

In a backhanded way, I’ve succeeded in keeping him away.

I’m livid. Who does he think he is? Calling me out that way, as if I did something wrong.
He
did something wrong. I should be enjoying this concert, enjoying my time with Cole, but here I am, thinking of Dare. Again. Shoving thoughts of him aside, I look over at Cole.

“Sorry about that. Just some stuff I have to work out,” I softly say.

He’s already shaking his head. “No, it’s all good. I completely understand.”

I attempt to smile at him, wanting to give him
something
, but it falls short. “Thanks. So, what is this concert?”

He wryly smiles, letting my subject change go. “Local band. They want some recognition. Plus one of my good friends is in it.”

“Really? That’s cool. Tell me about him.”

“He’s a little… different. Energetic and, okay, weird.” He chuckles and flips the turn signal. “I’ve known him since Kindergarten, back in the days yours truly was, in fact, a rebel.”

Lifting my brows in amusement, I play along. “Oh? Do tell.”

“Well, I was the one that broke us out from the classroom. I was pretty bad ass.” He grins smugly.

I shake my head and laugh, picturing the scene of toddler Cole sneaking out with a juice box. “So that’s where it all began. The rebels of Kindergarten.”

He nods with a chuckle. “Oh yes. It all went downhill after that. There was this one time, we were about eight, and we took his older sister’s makeup. See, she was going out on a date and was
really
into wearing makeup then. She went ballistic when we told her the dog ate most of it.” He snickers.

I try to smile as I feel a pang of regret. I didn’t get to experience that. I don’t have a lot of happy memories, but the few I do have, I cherish. I smack his arm. “That’s horrible!”

He shrugs. “She got over it eventually.”

“No, I meant your dog. Poor thing probably got sick.”

We both laugh as he pulls into a spot, the park only a short walk away. I wait for him to open the door for me and then wrap my arm around his. The night is a little chilly, the sky is cloudless and full of stars. Back home, I would lay out in the backyard for hours trying to count the stars. I never got passed fifty, but I tried almost every night, as it seemed to calm me down.

We pick a spot close to the stage, and I’m glad to see it so busy. Cole spreads a plaid blanket on the ground and gestures for me to sit down. I kick back and wait for the music to start, keeping my thoughts away from other matters.

_*_*_*_

For that one hour, thoughts of everything left. I had fun, listened to great music and chatted more with Cole. Unfortunately, the night is ending and my thoughts are now conflicted. 

“Okay, what’s wrong?” Cole abruptly asks. He peeks over at me, curious. “And don’t say nothing, because I know that’s a lie. Something is wrong, now tell me. Maybe I can help.”

It feels weird, talking about Dare with him, but I need him to know that I can’t be in a romantic relationship with him. Friendship, sure. “I’m sorry, Cole. I tried, I really did, but I’m…”  I shake my head, at a loss for words. I don’t know how to tell him this.

He holds up his hand, stopping me from continuing my babbling. “Don’t say anything. I already know.” I look at him in consideration. How can he possibly know? “I know you like that guy. I’m also aware that he seems to make you angry sometimes. I’m not judging or even telling you what to do, but be careful. I don’t know anything about this guy.”

I brush a piece of hair behind my ear, tilting my head to the side. “I don’t think you have to worry. I honestly don’t believe he’d intentionally hurt me. Sure, he’s a little rough around the edges, but I can tell he's a good guy. He looks at me and I just know,” I tell him with intensity that surprises me. Never have I thought Dare could hurt me physically. It’s the pain in his eyes, the same look that I carry that really connects us.

I want to know what put that look there.

“I didn’t mean to string you along, honestly, it’s just I felt torn. Being with you is fun, but with him it’s…magical.” I blush.

Cole smiles in resignation. “If he’s what you want, go for it.” He shrugs. At my questioning look, he continues. “Look, all I’m saying is, tomorrow may not be around. Do what you
want
to do with people you want to be with. Why wait? And if you need to, fight. And I’m not mad at you. To be honest, what I feel for you isn’t romantic.”

I stare at him, mouth wide open. It makes perfect sense. I want Dare. I want to learn more about him, his past, present, and his future. I want to be there with him as he goes along, as he achieves his dreams. To be there by his side, cheering him on. So I’ll fight, because Cole is right: tomorrow may not be around, and I can’t waste a second. But how do I do this? It’s a major leap of faith in Dare. I have to trust that he’ll be there to catch me, to help me too. And I’m glad he told me how he feels. It’s a huge relief.

I throw my arms around Cole and close my eyes. “Thank you, Cole. For everything.” He has no idea how much I appreciate him. To have a friend, someone to talk to and know he’ll be around if need be.

“Of course, Jennifer. Always here for you.” He murmurs while running his hand down my head. A few seconds later, he gently pushes me back, and I smile at him. “Let’s get you home, okay?”

Nodding, I stand up and head to his car. I don’t know what will happen with Dare at this point; it’s all up in the air, more so than I like. The ball is in his court now. If he really does want me, then he’ll make it known. He’ll be here for me.

_*_*_*_

“We’re all right, yeah?” I double check. I can’t lose him, not now.

He chuckles and winks over at me. “Of course. Stop worrying. I’ll see you in two days at work.”

Waving goodbye, I hop out and head inside. My jelly-like legs barely make it up the stairs, my thoughts whirling about a million different things. Once inside, I kick off my shoes and fall onto the sofa with a groan. Hayley looks up from her book. “Hey. How did work go?”

I stare at the ceiling, contemplating before finally deciding to tell her everything. I’m gonna need some serious help. “I was with Cole, but something happened…” I continue on to tell her about Dare, starting from the very beginning, leading up to Cole, the coffee shop, Dare being an idiot, the concert and now. She sits there, listening intently, not interrupting. It’s a relief to get it all off my chest.

“Wow,” is all she says when I finish.

I nod slowly. “Yeah, I know. I have no idea what to do. It’s understandable that he’s mad, I
wanted
him to be mad so this – whatever
this
is – wouldn’t go on. Now I realize these feelings won’t go away.” I sit up. “And that’s where you come in. Any advice?”

She purses her lips as she puts her book down. “First off, angry or not, he shouldn’t have instituted you being with two guys. You and Cole
aren’t
a couple. It was a few dates.” I stare at her in shock. “Secondly, do you want him? I mean, really want him?”

“Yes,” I say without hesitation.

Her eyebrows rise, obviously surprised at how fast I said it. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, how can I not? “Okay, well. Don’t go crawling back to him, he doesn’t deserve that. Wait and see if he comes to you. If he really wants you, he’ll come with his tail tucked between his legs and apologize.”

Chuckling, I lean over and pat her pant-covered leg. “Thanks, Hayley.”

She shrugs. “Yeah, no problem. You know what Jaclyn would say?”

We slowly smile and at the same time say, “Party!”

I take out my phone and call her. She answers on the first ring. “Yo, bitches. I can’t talk long, but I hope this means you’re taking me out.”

Laughing, I lean closer to the phone. “How did you know? Too much to fill you in on right now, but we need to party!”

She squeals. “I dig it. Wait, you two want to party? As in bars and drinking and hot, sweaty men? Not reading the latest crime novel?”

“Hey! Those are good!” Hayley spouts defensively. “And yes. We want to go out and have some fun! When are you free?”

She gasps. “Is that you, Hayley? You’re actually going to party? I’ve died and gone to Heaven.”

We roll our eyes. “Well, if you don’t want to…” I start.

“No!” she cuts me off, and I snicker. “Tomorrow! I’ll be back then for sure.”

We say our goodbyes before I hang up. Standing, I stretch my sore muscles and smile tiredly at Hayley. “I’m gonna hit the hay. I’ll see you tomorrow, girlie.”

She smiles. “Yep, see ya, buddy o’ mine.” She winks.

I laugh. I really like this side of Hayley. Hopefully it stays for a while.

_*_*_*_

Squinting, I blink at the text, the phone’s light harsh against the darkness in my room. I squint at the screen. The number isn’t familiar, but I still hesitate, nerves eating away at me. Steven hasn’t texted in a few days, and that’s what has me hesitating. What if he’s back?
Just open it. You won’t know until you do.

Sighing, I read the text.

How did the date go? –D

I glare at the screen, willing it to reach through and smack him in the face.

Leave me alone. And how did you get my number? Delete it!

I huff. I can’t believe this. How in the world did he get my phone number anyways? Tapping my screen, I wait for him to answer. After a few minutes, I realize what I’m doing and throw my phone down in disgust.
I’m
waiting for
him
. It should be the other way. Telling myself to make him wait, I pick up my phone as it chimes.

It’s called pickpocketing, honey.

I feel like that should worry me more. Hitting the mattress, I sit back and reply.

Whatever. Delete it, go away.

I cross my arms, realizing that I didn’t wait. Dammit! I have no self-control. I almost text him again, but stop myself. Instead of doing so, I plug it in and roll over, forcing myself to sleep.

_*_*_*_

Working isn’t as fun without Cole around to make jokes and sing absurdly loud in my ear.

Using my hip, I shove the cart forward and grab a few more books to stack. The literary section is my favorite section to stack, as I glance through poems and stories. Finding myself getting lost in the world of Keats, I put the book back and continue. Five minutes later, I’m done for the night and I put the cart away, grabbing my things before heading downstairs and to the doors. Locking it behind me, I wrap my jacket around me tight and turn around.

I jolt back in shock. Dare, looking entirely too yummy in dark jeans and his leather jacket, leaning against his bike with a coffee cup in his hand. “What are you doing here?” He never wrote back again, so I figured he listened and deleted my number. Guess not.

He shrugs, his brown eyes narrowing. “And what’s with the drink?” I ask.

He holds out the coffee. “Peace offering hot chocolate. Now, come on.” He tilts his head to the bike.

“Excuse me? Where, pray tell, are you taking me?” I walk over to him, wagging my finger. All of this is sudden, and I need a moment to take it in.

“That’s a secret.” I can see the remorse in his eyes from everything that’s happened, and I can’t stay mad. It deflates quicker than Jaclyn’s attention span. And that’s saying something.
I really have it bad.

I take the drink and sip it before nodding. “Fine. Promise you aren’t about to kill me? Because if so, I’m going to need to change. Can’t have my body looking like this when I’m found.” I sweep my hand down the length of my body.

I meant it as a joke - one I thought he would get - but instead, he frowns down at me. “I would never hurt you, Jennifer. I swear.”

Swallowing, I nod once again. “Good to know.” I finish my drink and throw it away. “Ready to go then? I can’t miss the Bachelor,” I tease.

He chuckles, and I become a giddy mess. I made him laugh! “Yeah, don’t want you to miss
that
. Let’s go, Slick.”

Arching my brow at the nickname, I hop on the bike and hold on tight. The journey with Dare is just beginning, and I know it will be a rocky one, but hopefully worth it in the end.