Dare (Finding Love Book 1) (3 page)

It was hard on that day, Mo’s anniversary. I thought I would be spending it alone, curled up with my blankets and remembering him. Instead, we went shopping for masks. I wasn’t alone and it distracted me enough that I actually smiled.

Holding on tight to my necklace, I look around my room, taking my time before looking at the mirror. I’m always nervous about what I’ll see. Steven told me many times that I should fix myself before leaving the house, that I can’t be seen without makeup. It wasn’t what he said that always made me sad; it was that I believed him. Maybe I still do.

I glance at the mirror, gazing at myself with a critical eye. My black dress stops just above my knees with a bit of poof to the skirt to create a flowy feel. The bodice is tight, square lace is covering my shoulders, holding the dress up. It’s my style, my comfort in soft clothing and dark colors. No one really sees me, and that’s how I like it. I prefer being normal, unseen, and a flower on the wall.

I only own one pair of heels, and I’ve barely worn them before. Jaclyn offered a pair of hers, once we learned we wear the same size, but I declined. They’re all six inch heels. Yeah, right! Instead, I put on the black strappy pair I have, the heel low to the floor.

Next, I grab my mask from the bathroom counter and slip it on. When I found it the other day, I knew this was the one.

On the bottom of the mask, the color is dark purple, and as the color moves up to the top of the mask, the purple lightens, creating an ombre effect. Above the plastic nose, the color turns silver. Purple floral swirls line around the mask, a mix of silver swirls overlapping. A small crown like piece is at the top, sticking out above my hair.

Once we saw our masks, we found it hilarious that they each have silver in them somewhere. At the time, we called it fate. I don’t even know if I believe in fate, or anything for that matter. I’m just here, biding my time it seems.

I pull the door open and head into the living room, spotting Jaclyn by the door. I can’t help but grin at her outfit; it’s so her. The dress is gold with sequins, tight at the middle of her thigh. It has an off the shoulder sleeve, and she looks gorgeous. Her mask is gold, the top corners pointy. Little black stars with silver swirls adorn the mask. A large moon curves up and over her forehead, small stars mixing in.

“Wow! You look great,” I tell her as I walk over to the door.

She grins, her lips shiny from lip gloss. “Thanks! So do you! I knew that dress would look amazing.”

I look away, blushing. Growing up, I never got much praise on my looks. Or anything I did for that matter. “Where’s Hayley?”

She rolls her eyes while clicking on her phone. “Oh, she’ll be out. Surprisingly, that girl takes longer to get ready than I do.”

“Really? That is surprising.” Hayley doesn’t seem like the type, but I guess I really don’t know anything about her.

Jaclyn chuckles and puts her phone into the black clutch she’s holding. “I know, right? She’s already beautiful without getting dressed up.”

I nod, agreeing. Just then, her door opens up and the sound of clicking heels heads toward us. Jaclyn was right, without makeup she’s beautiful, but with it she’s gorgeous. Her hair is cascading down her back in copper curls, her makeup dark and daring. Her white mask is simple and elegant, blue creeping onto the mask from the bottom left, stopping before her nose. Silver and white sparkly swirls cover the mask, jewel trimming finishes it off.

Her royal blue V-neck halter dress is low, revealing her back as she spun around. “Well, how do I look?” she asks with a nervous smile.

Jaclyn squeals before grabbing our hands. “You look beautiful, Hayley. We all do.” She grins.

Without thinking too much, I’m ready. Tonight I’m going to have fun and be care free of restrictions, no longer having to adhere to a curfew anymore. “Okay, let’s go. I’m ready to party!” I beam as we walk down the stairs and to Jaclyn’s car.

_*_*_*_

I should have known it wouldn’t be entirely amazing. What was I thinking? I’ve never even been to a party before, and alcohol? I stay away from the stuff for a good reason. The swaying, gyrating bodies are taking over the living room, creating a warm and uncomfortable air. The room is full of drunken, stumbling people, bottles of Scotch, Vodka, and beers in their hands. Some people are heading upstairs, others to the deck in the back. The dark room with faint red lighting is full with people wall to wall and for a moment I freak out. It’s too cramped in here, and I need air. Now!

I turn to tell Jaclyn that I’ll be outside but find nothing. Looking through the crowd for a gold dress, I see her heading to the kitchen. I should have known. Jaclyn screams
party princess,
and I should have seen this coming.
Hayley
. Before I turn, I can tell she isn’t right by me.
Don’t tell me she knows how to party too?

Sighing, I look around and realize how pathetic I look. Here I am, standing in a corner, when I should be out there, dancing and having fun. So why can’t I do that? The bodies are closer to me now, and I can’t push my way through them. Groaning, I lean against the wall, knowing that tonight won’t be my night and that I’m stuck here for now.

A few minutes and pep-talks later, I notice something. Or someone. He’s been watching me for a while, and at first I thought he was looking at someone else, but now I know he’s staring at me. Why? Out of everyone in the room, he chooses to stare at me. I can’t tell if he’s creepy or not for doing so.

He’s standing too far away for me to get a real look at him, but he’s tall and muscular from what I can see. Uneasy now, a break finally opens up and I push through the group of people and make my way outside.

It’s a bit chilly out here, the night sky cloudless as the stars shine. A small breeze rustles the ends of my hair, causing it to catch on my lip gloss. I wipe away the hair and make my way down the deck steps out onto the green grass.               Here it’s less crowded, relaxed people sitting on the grass, smoking or drinking.

I stumble forward as something rams into my back. Turning around, I look at the guy who is mumbling excuses, clearly drunk. “Its fine,” I say, just wanting to get out of here. Besides, the beginning of a headache is coming on.

Instead of walking away like I wanted him to, he reaches out and grabs my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. “You look astonishing and sexy,” he slurs, his breath rancid.

Looking away, I scrunch up my nose at the smell. I start to push him away from me, but his grip tightens to the point of bruising. His hold is familiar, and I have to try not to panic, telling myself that this guy isn’t Steven, that he won’t hurt me. But as he lowers his head down - his intent obviously to kiss me - I can’t help the thoughts that hit me. Sometimes Steven smelt of alcohol too, his grasp a tight vice around my arm, shoulder, leg, or neck.

No. This isn’t Steven.
I blink, the world coming back into focus, and with an angry grunt, I shove the guy. Seconds later, I realize it wasn’t me who pushed him away. It was
him
.

“Leave her alone, Jason,” the guy sternly says, his voice a deep timber that immediately catches my attention.

The man - Jason - glares at the guy before us, disgust in his eyes and voice as he says, “Leave me alone, Lancaster. This isn’t your business.” Jason turns away from him, bringing his focus back to me now. Before I can move out of the way, he grabs onto the back of my head and kisses me.

It’s repulsive, and I struggle to get away from him. It’s my nightmare in real life.

Then he’s gone. I look down to see him lying on the ground, blood pooling from his nose. The man above him – Lancaster - sneers, his knuckles red and the skin broken. “She
is
my business. Stay away from her, or you won’t like the outcome.” I shiver at his voice. A part of me is afraid of him, and the other part, the one that isn’t rational, likes it. The darkness and the anger. That’s what freaks me out. That I like it all.

Lancaster turns to face me now, his eyes cool and emotionless. “You okay?” he asks, his voice crisp and dangerous.

I find myself nodding, and as he steps closer, I almost stay. I want to stay, but then I remember where I am -
who I am
- and step back. “I-I’m fine. Thank you for that.”

He nods once, hesitates, and then holds out his hand. “Dance with me.”

It’s not a question. It’s an order, and dear lord, I love it.

I want more of it.

I follow him inside, everyone moving away from him without really noticing. We stand in the middle of the room, and it’s as I’m dancing with him that I really notice how tall he is. My head reaches his chest, the perfect spot to hear his heart if I want to. But I don’t, because that would be weird. I’ve just met the guy and here I am, wanting to lay my head down on his hard chest to listen to his thudding heart. Sure, it sounds like an amazing deal but what will I get out of it? Bitter disappointment.

I look up at him through my lashes, not sure what to do. The song just began and there is a slow, haunting tune to it. I don’t know the name of it, but it seems fitting. For me anyways.

He isn’t looking at me; instead he’s gazing over my head, as if unable to stand seeing my eyes.
Well, if ya wanted to dance, why not look at me?
I’m overthinking, distracting myself from what I really want to know. Like, can you feel that? Whatever that heat between us is? The connection? I didn’t feel it right away. Probably from being scared at the time, but now I feel it. I’m just not sure what to do about it. Does he feel it too? Or am I just looking for something that isn’t there? What am I thinking? I just met him! There should be no feelings for this man. Maybe it’s because he saved me from that douche, and that has to be why I feel something for him. It’s just in this moment, and I’m sure it will go away soon.

Because of his mask, I can’t see all of his face, a pity really. What I can see is the dark brown eyes that show promises, secrets, a darkness that I’m all too familiar with. They aren’t expressive; in fact, I can’t get any emotion out of him other than anger. Which is a sign to leave him right now before something happens, something I won’t be able to stop.

His black hair is messy and longish in the middle; the sides are cut short to his scalp. It looks silky and thick, practically begging for my hands to brush through it. His lips are pink, the bottom one slightly bigger than the top, but not any less kissable.

Whoa, Jen. You don’t know him. Listen to your brain for once. He might be a serial killer.
Ignoring my brain, I continue looking at him, my gaze moving over his strong, wide shoulders, a toned upper body that I can feel, and his narrow waist. His body is stiff, yet he dances with confidence. He
is
confidence.

“You’re a good dancer,” I tell him. The crowd has thinned out, making it easier to talk to him. I just can’t stand the silence anymore.

He tilts his head down and smirks, revealing a sharp incisor. “Thanks.” His voice is deep, like a growl.

Flushing, I clear my throat. Why is he making me so nervous? He saved me tonight, and he’s really been nothing but a gentleman while dancing. “My name is Jennifer.”

While I wait for his response, I take another look around. It must be past midnight now, as the crowd is barely there. A few couples loiter, sitting on the couch or drinking in the kitchen. The song has changed but continues to be slow, almost sensual, which doesn’t help my predicament.

He clears his throat and I look back up at him expectantly. “It’s nice to meet you, Jennifer.” I almost sigh as he says my name. It sounds so beautiful coming from him, almost sexy with his lazy drawl.

I lift a brow in question. “And you’re Lancaster, right?” I ask impatiently. It’s like pulling teeth to get him to talk.

His lips once again smirk, telling me he has secrets. Many of them. “That’s my last name,” he says. “My name is Dare.”

I smile, waiting for him to start laughing, but when he doesn’t, I frown.
Dare? What kind of name is that?
“The kind of name only a mother could love,” he says.

I look up at him in surprise and mortification.
Oops. Did I say that out loud?
I smile sheepishly and shrug. “Sorry. My mouth doesn’t always filter thoughts first.”

He’s watching me with amusement, obviously enjoying my torment. “You have such a beautiful mouth, it doesn’t matter what you say.”

Staring at him in shock, I can only nod. He just said my mouth is beautiful. What does that even mean? “Thank you?” I didn’t mean for it to sound like a question, but hell, I
am
questioning it.

Why would he compliment me? Then it dawns on me. He wants something! Of course he does. No guy compliments me without wanting something in return. Feeling uncomfortable now, I start to push away, but then he leans down and I freeze. “I have to get going, Jennifer.” He leans in closer, his mouth brushing against my ear. “I like dancing with you.”

Before I can respond, Jaclyn calls out for me from across the room. Turning around, I grimace and wave. I open my mouth to say goodbye to Dare, but when I turn back around, he’s gone. I stare at the spot he was just in, utterly confused.

“Hey, who was that?” Jaclyn asks while stumbling over to me.

Shaking my head, I mutter, “I’m not sure.”

She shrugs, like she doesn’t really care. “Well, I’m beat. Let’s find Hayley and zip outta here.”

Once we find Hayley - reading by a tree, of course - we head to the car. “I love you guys. You’re both, like, my bitches,” Jaclyn chatters.

I snort and gently get her into the car. She’s trashed. “Yeah, that’s what I’m here for,” I humor her. She’s so going to hear about this in the morning.

I get into the driver seat and start the car up. “So, did you read the whole time?” I ask Hayley, who is staring out the window.

She shrugs, her red curls slipping over her shoulder. “I guess.”

So it’s quiet Hayley tonight.
There are many different versions of Hayley that I’ve come to understand. Each one has to be dealt with correctly, or she completely shuts down. It makes Jaclyn and me curious, of course, but we never ask. It’s like a silent agreement between the three of us: our past remains a secret. We don’t ask about family, friends, or growing up.

“Meet any guys?” I ask curiously, glancing over at her.

She stiffens, and I’m about to ask what’s wrong when she shrugs again. “A few came up to me. I told them to get lost.”

I reach over to turn up the radio and nod. “Oh.”

The rest of the drive home is quiet, each of us lost in our thoughts.

_*_*_*_

Slipping my feet in my shoes, I hurry across the room to grab my bag. With one last look around, I leave the apartment. Today is the first day of college, and I’m late. I stayed up half the night worrying about classes and professors or thinking about Dare, something I’ve been doing a lot lately.

I haven’t seen him around, and I’m beginning to wonder if he’s even a student. Maybe he just knows one of the students and that’s how he got in to the frat party. Oh, who am I kidding? Anyone can come. It’s a college party.

I walk to the college, finding the building that holds my first class for the day. I spent all day yesterday walking around here, finding the classrooms and meeting professors, preparing for my first day.

Bypassing a group of chatty girls, I wait for them to clear the doorway. A few seconds - and a sigh of annoyance from me later, I find myself inside and heading down the hall. The walls are a tan marble, a few old and crisp photos adorning the walls, showing off old professors and the famous authors who walked these halls.

My phone rings, and I stumble to a stop. Putting my paper with my classroom numbers between my lips, I dig around in my purse for my phone. By the time I find it, it’s stopped ringing. I check the number, but it isn’t one I’m familiar with. Shrugging, I put it back in my bag and take the paper out from between my lips.

Finally, I reach my room. A tall man is standing before the door, his dark blue jumpsuit dusty and spotty. “Excuse me,” I mumble.

The man stiffens before moving aside. Throwing back a quick thank you, I head into the room and find a seat near the back of the room. I’ve never liked sitting in the first few rows. Too much attention on me.

The class goes by fairly quick. It was just a description and class syllabus, perfect for a late start. All the information was still on the dry erase board, and the professor was pretty cool about me being late. After I leave the classroom, I glance at my phone, seeing a text from Jaclyn about lunch at the quad. I change directions and head to the main field, glad to have made a lunch today. I can’t afford to buy anyways.

I find her and Hayley fast, smiling at them as I sit down on the warm grass. The sun is shining with a gentle breeze, perfect for laying out here. “Hey! How was classes?” I ask them as I pull out my sandwich.

Jaclyn scrunches up her nose at my food. “Ew. Why is the meat wet?”

I peek…and yep. My bread is soggy because my juice popped open. Sighing, I toss the sandwich back in my lunch bag and lean back on my hands. “Your classes?” I prompt.

Jaclyn perks up with a saucy grin. “Men. Hot men everywhere!”

Chuckling, I swat at her arm. “Is that all you ever think about?”

“Yes,” both Jaclyn and Hayley say at the same time. They look at each other before laughing, their heads thrown back.

Shaking my head in bemusement at the two, I just smile. It’s all I can really do sometimes. “Hayley?”

She shrugs and pulls at her braid. Her face is at an angle, obscuring our view of her scar. I can tell she has troubles with it still. I don’t dare bring it up though, afraid to push the boat too far. It makes me sad to see her this way sometimes. I wish she really knew how beautiful she looks. “It was okay. Nothing too big, and the course load is fairly easy.”

Jaclyn snorts. “Well, yeah. You want to be a writer. You just have basic core studies.”

Hayley rolls her eyes, forgoing an argument I see could happen. “How about you, Jennifer?”

I wiggle my toes, frowning at the chipping pink nail polish. Maybe I can get them done if I save up a bit more money. I frown some more.
If
I can find a job. “Oh, the same. Just learning how the semester will go.”

Jaclyn, who apparently is bored of this conversation, jumps in with a new topic. One I’d rather not discuss. “So… that man from the party? You haven’t said one word about him. And don’t say that there was no man. I may have been trashed, but I remember a hunk like him.” She winks suggestively.

I pick at my nails, unable to look at them. “It was no one. He saved me from some handsy guy and asked me to dance. So I danced.” I shrug.

She purses her lips in frustration. “A name? Does he look familiar? I saw the sparks between you two. It was like the fourth of July.”

I huff. “Like I told you, his name is Dare. No, he does not look familiar. Besides I just started here and it’s a big school,” I point out before continuing. “And there were no sparks. Don’t be dramatic.” Okay, there was sparks, but I thought that was only me. The pull to him was magnetic, and it freaked me out. It still does to be honest. Who the heck feels
that
after twenty minutes? I don’t believe in true love or instantly knowing that someone is your soul mate.

Love isn’t real. I’ve seen it before, and I won’t allow myself to go down that path. I won’t become
her
.

“Yo!” Jaclyn kicks my foot, breaking me out of my thoughts. “You okay? I didn’t mean to freak you out or anything.” I can tell her worry is real, and I soften a bit. She didn’t mean anything, she’s just playing around like her usual self.

“Yeah, I’m good. Hey, my next class is coming up. I’ll see you two at home!” I tell them as I get up. They wave with a chorus of goodbyes.

As I round the corner, I sag against the brick wall, wincing as it rubs against my back. No, I’m not okay, but then again I’ve never been. I’ll do what I do best: put it in the past and forget it ever happened. Besides, I’ll never see Dare again.

I refuse to admit a small part of me wants to die at that thought.