Dark Destroyer (40 page)

Elreda knew why the girl was crying. She needed no explanation. But Elreda could do nothing to help her; she had tried, so it was best now to simply get on with it. There was no use in delaying the inevitable.

“I know,” she said, putting her arm around Kathalin’s shoulders and turning her towards the door. “Let us go down to the hall now where the priest awaits. We will conduct the mass tonight and be done with it. Shall I tell you of Lioncross Abbey, which will be your new home?”

Kathalin simply nodded, allowing the woman to lead her to the door as she wiped away her tears. Elreda prattled on about Lioncross, a massive and important castle, but Kathalin wasn’t really listening. She was reflecting on their conversation.

We will be done with it.
Something in Lady de Lohr’s tone suggested that she understood the situation, the reluctance of Kathalin. Perhaps she even knew about Gates. Kathalin suspected that she must know, being that Alexander must have told his parents. Surely everyone knew by now. And no one would do anything to help her or help Gates. They were determined to see a de Lohr/de Lara wedding, no matter what the cost.

As Lady de Lohr took Kathalin by the hand and led her out of the keep, Kathalin couldn’t help but feel as if she were being taken to her own funeral.

The funeral that would bury any chance of her and Gates ever being together.

The funeral for a love that would never die.

“The priest is in the hall, Gates,” Jasper said. “I will expect you to attend Alex now. You will dress in your finest and stand by while he is married. You owe him that much considering how hard he tried to disobey both of his parents and me for your sake. The least you can do is not hide like a coward and pay witness to his wedding. It would show everyone that you do not bear a grudge. I would not have a knight in my stable that bore a grudge.”

Jasper was standing in Gates’ chamber in the gatehouse, dark now that the sun had gone down and lit only by the fire in the hearth. As Gates listened to Jasper’s words of both threat and abuse, he lit a fat taper on the table near the window.

“I never considered hiding,” he said, annoyed that Jasper had resorted to insults in his attempt to force him to attend Alexander and Kathalin’s wedding. “Alex is my friend and I will support him in this endeavor which he did not choose to be a part of.”

It was a volley back at Jasper for what he had done to all of their lives. Jasper inhaled slowly, displeasure on his face.

“Gates,” he said, his voice low. “I realize that this entire situation with my daughter has been distasteful for us all. I am willing to forget about your behavior, as I always am, but do not cross me. Do not give me a reason to become upset with you. Am I making myself clear?”

Gates wasn’t in any mood for Jasper and his veiled threats. He wasn’t in any mood for the man, anyway. He was beaten, hollow, despondent, and struggling not to show it. After leaving Kathalin in the garden earlier that day, he had been lingering in a state of anguish. He thought about throwing himself on his sword or going into town and buying some poison from the apothecary. He even thought about getting on his horse and riding north until he came to Castle Questing and then remaining there for the rest of his life, living like a hermit. The more he gazed at Jasper, the more attractive the latter option became.

“You are,” he said. “But to you I will say this; I can no longer stand the sight of you or of Hyssington Castle. I have had a belly full of the inequity and despair of this place. I will stand with Alex as he marries Kathalin but after that, I am leaving and I will never return. I ask that you release me from my oath of service to you but if you will not grant me a release, I will simply go anyway. There is nothing you can say or do that will change my mind, so it would be best not to try. I would rather part amicably from your service but I take no issue with parting with hostility. The choice is yours.”

Jasper gazed back at him, steadily, trying to deduce whether he was bluffing. Jasper had known Gates for many years and he’d never known the man to lie, or bluff, but in this case, he couldn’t tell. He thought perhaps it was the disgruntled lover in him speaking.

“For all of the husbands and fathers and brothers I have paid for the women you have compromised, you would show me no greater respect than this?” he asked, shaking his head with regret. “I thought you were a better man than this. You
owe
me, de Wolfe.”

Gates could feel his temper rise and his jaw began to tick. “If you would give me a tally of what I owe you, what you have paid out on my behalf, I will be happy to repay you,” he said. “But my service to you is at an end. You seriously cannot expect me to continue after what has happened.”

“I not only expect it, I demand it.”

Gates could see that Jasper was serious and he considered his options at that moment; if he continued to argue about it, he could very well end up in the vault for insubordination, but if he simply shut his mouth and let Jasper think he had the upper hand, then he would be able to slip away at some point and Jasper wouldn’t know anything about it until it was too late.

Frustrated, and hurt, Gates opted for the latter. He would not argue with a man who not only dispossessed the capacity for understanding, but who lacked the reasoning to do so as well. A selfish, petty man. He had always known that but now, he was seeing it more than he ever had. He turned back to the wardrobe that contained his possessions, including clean tunics.

“I will be down to the hall momentarily,” he said in a clear refusal to verbally engage Jasper. “Allow me to change into something clean. I will not go to a mass looking like this.”

He wasn’t dressed particularly badly but Jasper didn’t argue with him. He was simply grateful that Gates wasn’t arguing with him, that he was submitting to him, which is all Jasper wanted, anyway. Therefore, he turned away and left the room, heading down the narrow stairs that led to the entry level of the gatehouse. His footfalls faded, echoing off the stone.

When Jasper was gone, Gates emitted a heavily sigh. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his chest and he could breathe once again. But the weight of losing Kathalin was still there, like a vise around his chest, and it was a struggle simply to live. He had no idea he was capable of such emotion, something that literally drained the life from his body. He was dead already, in purgatory, soon to live out the rest of his life in the indentured hell of a man in love with a woman he could never have.

Gates knew that Stephan had returned with the priest some time ago. He recognized Father Wenceslaus as he had arrived with the big knight astride his small, elderly palfrey that hardly moved well at all these days. Gates knew that because Jasper had once offered the priest another horse to ride, a fine animal, but the priest had declined, stating he was quite attached to his old mare. As Gates had watched from his chamber window, seeing Stephan astride his big rouncey, and the priest riding, strangely, sidesaddle on the back of his elderly mare, he resigned himself to the inevitable.

The passage of the pair beneath the gatehouse had been something of a blow to Gates. He’d been hoping beyond hope that, somehow, this was all a nightmare and by some miracle, the priest would never come, Jasper would forget about the betrothal, as would the de Lohrs, and he could slip away with Kathalin.

Since leaving her in the garden, he’d done quite a bit of soul searching, knowing that he was doing the honorable thing by not abducting her, but as time passed, he wondered if he was doing something he could really live with. Had Kathalin been correct? Did he love his reclaimed honor, or at least the idea of it, more than her? It was quite possible that she had been correct and as the hours passed and the sky turned to night, he was coming to think that he had been wrong. In his angst, he was deeply confused.

Was he doing the right thing?

And then the priest had arrived with Stephan and the reality of what was to take place that night hit him like a hammer. He’d known all along it was coming but to see the clergyman arrive through Hyssington’s big gatehouse brought it all home. Kathalin was being married that night and it would not be to him, yet he would be expected to attend the wedding as a show of good faith, that he held no hard feelings, in the hopes that Jasper and the de Lohrs and even Alexander might see that he was made of better things. He was a de Wolfe, after all, and he’d never in his life truly lived up to that name.

Now, he was hoping he finally would.

He was hoping the cost of redeemed honor was worth the price of a lost love.

“Gates?”

A soft voice came from the doorway and he turned to see Stephan and Tobias standing there. Tobias was already entering the chamber, looking at Gates with great concern.

“We came to see if there is something we can do for you, Gates,” the young knight said. “We have not been invited to the wedding. We thought, mayhap, we could…
do
something for you.”

Gates’ eyes crinkled at the corners as he suspected what the man meant. In truth, he wasn’t surprised that they knew. The four knights were quite close and there wasn’t much they didn’t know about each other, not even in a situation such as this.

“Like what?” he asked.

Tobias appeared uncertain, hesitant. “Anything,” he said. “
Anything
at all.”

Gates cocked an eyebrow. “Are you offering to abduct Lady Kathalin and spirit her off so that I may come to her later, and then we will run away together?”

Tobias looked at Stephan with some chagrin because Gates wasn’t pleased by their offer of service. Stephan chuckled softly. “Something like that,” he said as he came into the room. Quickly, he sobered. “As you might have suspected, Alex told us everything. Gates, I cannot tell you how sorry I am for you, my friend. If you want our help, then all you need to do is ask.”

Gates’ initial reaction was one of embarrassment, embarrassed because his men knew of his weakness in his love for a woman. But he was deeply touched, and not at all surprised, that they would be willing to risk themselves on his behalf. Their bonds of brotherhood ran deep.

“Did Alex send you to ask me this?” he asked.

Stephan shook his head. “He did not,” he said. “Tobias and I discussed it. You are our liege and, truth be told, much more of a liege than de Lara ever was. You have stood beside us in battle, have risked your life for us, and now it is time for us to repay the favor. We stand at the ready to do your bidding, my lord.”

Gates looked between the pair; the big, hairy knight and his young, pure-looking counterpart beside him. They made quite the team, now intending to right the wrongs on behalf of Gates and Kathalin. After a moment, Gates simply chuckled and reached out, putting a big hand on Tobias’ shoulder.

“I am honored and touched by your gesture,” he said, “but I will tell you what I told Alex. I would not dishonor him in such a way as to abscond with his bride. The implications of an action such as that would be more far reaching than you know. It would not be a simple matter of running away with Lady Kathalin. To do so would shame Alex, his family, my family, and the de Laras. The greater implications could be staggering. I will not go into all of it, but you get the gist of my reasons. And I thank you for your offer. It means a great deal to me.”

Tobias, who was young enough that he’d not yet learned not to wear his heart on his sleeve, was clearly upset by the situation. “Alex said that you and the lady are in love with each other,” he said. “Alex said he did not want to marry her because of it, yet Stephan had to fetch Father Wenceslaus and bring him here. Is Lord de Lara going to force Alex to marry Lady Kathalin?”

Gates sighed heavily. Even the mere mention of what was to take place this evening left him feeling hollow and weak. It was one thing to think it, but to hear it… God, it was painful.

“Aye,” he said. “The marriage is going through as planned.”

Stephan, who had known Gates for many years, could see the anguish in his features. He’d never seen that from Gates before, not ever. It was enough to sink his spirit.

“Gates, are you sure there is nothing we can do?” he pleaded softly. “Anything, lad. If you want me to break down the door to the keep and steal your lady, I will do it. It doesn’t seem right that de Lara is forcing this.”

Gates looked at his old friend. “Bear, if I asked you to pull a wall down to get to a barrel of ale on the other side, you would do it for me,” he said, watching Stephan smirk. “You are a true and loyal friend, but this is a battle you cannot fight for me. In fact, the war is over and de Lara has won. But I will tell you this and you must vow you will never repeat it, especially to de Lara – after this wedding, which I have been asked to attend, I am leaving for Castle Questing. I do not want any memories of this place after tonight. I am going home.”