Death Wish (13 page)

Part Two: The Revolutionaries

“It is only through the mercy of death that we can truly live.”
-Motto of the Revolutionaries

Wish 16

I step outside the coffee shop and a cool breeze flows over me. Turning around, I glance back inside the small cafe. Robin still sits at our table, occasionally sipping her coffee while glancing around the room anxiously. I take a deep breath and hold up my pendent to call Harrison.
“Hey, Harrison, are you there?”
A few seconds pass by. Just as I’m starting to worry that he won’t respond, he does.
“Hey, Elly!”
He sounds slightly out of breath.
“What’s up? Sorry, I was cleaning my room and had stuff in my hands. I had to put it away before I could answer.”
“Oh, no worries,” I say, making every effort to keep my voice even and light. I have more things to question Robin about, and I want to get all the information I can before bringing Harrison into this.
“So what’s up? You’re taking a while to come over. Is everything okay?”
I close my eyes. All I want to do is go to Harrison’s, have a fun night with him, and forget that any of this happened. But just closing my eyes won’t make what’s happened go away.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” I answer, glancing back in the café. Robin is still sitting inside. She looks up at me. I nod my head to her and she nods back before looking back at her drink. Kelly walks over and I see her ask Robin a question. Robin shakes her head at whatever she was asked, and the barista nods before walking back to the bar.
“But I’ve got some bad news,” I continue, turning back to the street. A car zooms by, the gentle hum of its hover motor the only sound it makes. “I don’t think I’ll be able to come over tonight.”
“Oh man,”
Harrison pouts, a sad whine in his voice.
“But I’m all dressed up, and now you’re telling me I have nowhere to go?”
I laugh softly at his use of the Old World phrase.
“I know, I know. I’m so sorry, sweetie. But I ran into Robin at the office and she seemed really upset, so I took her out to
The Roasted Roost
for some coffee. She’s having a really hard time adjusting to the Godparent work.”
Yeah, if ‘hard time adjusting’ means she’s making people die without submitting Wishes.
“So I think I should stay and make sure she’s okay. I’m really sorry, baby. Can we reschedule for tomorrow?”
“Of course we can, Elly,”
he says. I can hear the smile in his voice.
“I completely understand. You’re such a great mentor.”
I feel a pang of guilt over lying to him, but I still keep my voice light and playful.
“And you should know, right?” A sad smile hovers on my lips.
“Absolutely, my mentor was a pretty awesome lady. You should meet her sometime.”
Now I finally laugh; Harrison can always make me laugh, no matter the circumstance.
“Want to meet up tomorrow?”
“Sure thing,”
he replies.
“And now that that’s settled, I think I’m going to head to bed. Good luck with Robin, and let me know if you need anything. I love you forever, Eliza.”
“And I love you for always, Harrison. Sleep tight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

*

I sit back down at the table. Robin asks where I was.
“Just letting Harrison know I wouldn’t be over tonight,” I tell her, lifting up my pendent.
Robin leans forward and looks at my necklace. “Wait, that’s a communicator?”
“Yep,” I confirm, lifting it over my head to show it to Robin. I don’t let her hold it; part of me is paranoid she’ll smash it. The cobalt stone sparkles faintly as it spins in the air.
“Harrison made two of these just after we became partners. He thought it would be good if we could always stay in touch, and once I told him my favorite color is blue he had these made a few days later.”
I smile fondly, remembering how excited Harrison was to show them to me and how touched I was that he used my favorite color in the design. I pull the necklace back over my head. The pendent rests at it usual place on my chest, just below my collarbone.
I glance at Robin, sigh, and look back down at my drink. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. Everything she has been saying makes sense, but it goes against everything I believe. Everything I do. Every part of my life that I’ve lived for the past six years.
Every part, that is, except these past weeks.
For the first time in my life I’m questioning everything I was certain about, and it feels strange and terrifying. Like I’ve flipped upside down, but everything else in the world has remained right-side up.
What am I supposed to do with this new information? My inner Godmother says that I should report this to the Primary like we were told to at the meeting. I have never had problems following orders. I always trusted the Fairy Godparent Organization to do what’s right, and have always felt such a sense of satisfaction and purpose in my work. Seeing the looks of relief and happiness on people’s faces when they die the way they want to is an amazing experience. I’ve always thought I was bringing happiness to this world. After all, the motto of our organization is “
the greatest gift we can ever give is the gift of a perfect death.
”
But am I really bringing happiness? I have had more than a few clients who wanted to revoke their Wishes when it was too late, and they died screaming. And what about the people who are left behind? Clients like Robin’s father, who submit their Wishes without telling anyone, leave their families with the greatest agony of their lives.
And what about the people who submit the Wishes? I have only been alive for a relatively short time, and I can’t imagine submitting a Death Wish. But there are so many people who have lived for centuries, and they don’t want to play the game of life anymore. What happens? What has changed within us as a species for so many to run into the oblivion of death with open arms?
“I don’t know what to think anymore…” I mutter, running my fingers through my hair in frustration. Robin still sits across the table from me, but she is silent. Does she know that I’m having an existential crisis inches away from her?
The pain Robin had to endure when her father died… The agony people who submit Death Wishes must be feeling when they sign their name on the dotted line… And finally, the heart-crushing sobs of Jenny, who had to bow to the final whims of a sadistic pain Wish because she isn’t allowed to say
no
.
Something is wrong with the way we live and die as a society, but like the regenerative powers of our bodies, I didn’t notice it until someone pointed it out.
And that someone is sitting at the small café table across from me, her emerald eyes sparkling with a combination of fear and concern.
I jump when a hand presses down on my shoulder. Kelly, the woman who showed me the pictures of flowers that are long-gone, looks down at me worriedly.
“Hey, Ells,” she whispers, a lock of platinum blonde hair falling out of place as she leans down. “Are you okay?”
I must really wear my heart on my sleeve, as Harrison would say, if she could tell that I was upset from the other side of the room. I breathe in, exhale softly, and give her a huge smile while I pat the hand on my shoulder.
“Oh I’m good, Kelly. Thanks for checking.” I beam at her. “Robin and I have just been
up late on some Wish assignments the past few days, and it’s all catching up to me.”
Kelly nods, but still looks uncertain. She gives my shoulder a squeeze before walking back to the bar.
I most certainly am not okay, but as a Fairy Godmother I am nothing if not a damn good actor.
I look up at Robin, who is staring at me with confusion over my sudden change in demeanor. I lock eyes with her and lean forward, speaking softly so we won’t be overheard.
“Alright, you have definitely done a great job of convincing me. For now, I won’t turn you into the Primary. But I have one condition: tell me who you’re working for.”

Wish 17

Robin sputters out her denial.
“W-what do you mean? I’m not working for anyone.”
I snort in disbelief. Leaning back in my chair, I can feel some degree of control come back into my life. I may be rethinking some of my beliefs, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to jump into the unknown headfirst. All the same, I’m going to keep my mouth shut about Robin’s involvement with the Smiths for now.
For
now.
In the meantime, I’ll try to gather as much information as I can about what she and her accomplices are doing.
“Oh please,” I say, “of course you’re working for someone, Robin. One person isn’t able to infiltrate the Godparents, gather information on the Life Chips, and successfully kill two people without detection.”
She mutters something about how
I
detected her, and I smirk.
“Yeah, well, I’m an amazing exception. But seriously, I want to know more. I said I won’t turn you in, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to turn a blind eye to what’s going on. I need to know more, and you can start by telling me about the others who believe what you do.”
She still looks skeptical. I’m not going to get any further with her if I don’t reveal at least some of my true feelings. I lean forward.
“Robin,” I whisper, anxiety creeping into my voice. “I think you’re right. About what’s wrong with our world, I mean. And I want to know more. Will you tell me?”
She glances around, checking to make sure no one’s close enough to hear us. She turns back to me, then looks away, fidgeting with her empty coffee mug. This internal struggle goes on for a few moments more before she finally sighs. Robin nods and stands up, motioning for me to rise as well.
“Alright,” she says under her breath, “I’ll tell you. But not here
—
there are too many people. Come with me.”
I agree and follow her out the door.
We walk down the street and I slip on my coat as the wind picks up. Robin walks in front of me, her black and green hair flailing like Medusa’s snakes in the breeze. We walk for a few minutes in silence, and eventually turn into a dark alley a short distance from the café. She coughs a couple of times, and turns around to face me. I look around, but all I see are a dumpster, the bricks of the building walls enclosing us, and small piles of trash scattered around.
“I don’t get it,” I say. “Where are you taking me?”
Something that looks like remorse crosses her features, but before I can ask more a heavy object slams against the back of my head. I fall to the ground and darkness clouds my vision.

*

A painful throb on the back of my skull brings me back to reality. I don’t know how long it’s been since I lost consciousness, but I know that I’m no longer in the alley. My eyes are closed, and I hear voices around me.
Stupid
, I think to myself. Why did I think it was a good idea to blindly follow Robin, especially after revealing I knew what she was a part of? That was probably the most idiotic lapse in judgment I’ve ever had. I would kick myself, but as I shift slightly I find that I can barely move.
“Hey, look. She’s waking up,” says a voice, deep and male.
“Damn Godparent,” another voice spits angrily. “Should I knock her out again? That first time felt so good.”
“No,” says a third voice, high and female. Even with my eyes closed, I know that it’s Robin. “Trust me, you guys. She wants to know about us.”
“Yeah,” replies the second, angry person. “She wants to know so that she knows who to
murder
.”
I slowly blink my eyes open, and they water at the sudden onslaught of light. When I look down I find that I’m sitting in a wooden chair. My ankles have been bound to the legs of the chair, and from the tension in my shoulders I realize that my arms are behind me. My wrists are lashed together with some type of rope. It chafes when I try to move my hands.
I look up. Three people stand in front of me. Robin is the closest, wearing a low-cut halter top that exposes her midriff and a pair of tight-fitting jeans. It’s so different from her normal attire that I’m taken aback for a second. To one side of her is an older looking man with curly black hair and inquisitive gold eyes. A second man with short-cropped red hair stands on Robin’s other side, a look of pure fury in his eyes.
“Hey ‘Liza,” says Robin, moving forward and dropping to her knees to look up at me. “How’s your head?”
I move it, and wince when a dull ache rushes through my skull.
“It’s fine,” I rasp. “I think it’s almost done healing.” I look around the room. “Where am I?”
Red Hair snarls and crosses his arms. “Oh, you’d like to know that, wouldn’t you, Fairy? Want to call your other Godparent buddies here to slaughter all of us?”
The man with the gold eyes lightly touches Red Hair’s arm, and murmurs “Calm down, James.”
James looks at him angrily, but then backs down after a second and lets his arms fall to his side. Golden Eyes walks over and stands next to Robin. I have to look up to see him from my vantage point in the chair. A jolt of recognition shoots through me. He’s the man I saw exiting Robin’s apartment when she disappeared
—
the man she claimed was her brother.
I suspected it before, but now I’m
positive
that he isn’t a relative.
“Robin tells us that you’re interested in what we do,” the man says. He speaks evenly, and I only detect interest in his voice. No anger or mockery, just a simple desire to know the truth. “Why is that?”
I open my mouth to answer, but then close it again to consider the question.
Why is that? Until now, my life has been... well,
good.
I have an exciting job that I excel at, I know and am friends with a variety of interesting people, and I have Harrison, who is not only my lover but also my best friend in the world.
So why am I seeking out something different?
My life may be good, but for quite some time now I’ve been feeling doubt under my surface thoughts and feelings. At first I thought it was something I could push away, something I would learn to ignore if I gave it enough time. After all, if I was able to justify the pain and terror I felt from my first solo Wish as a necessary part of the job then I could
certainly
get rid of any doubts about the system as a whole
.
But ever since Robin came into my life, my eyes have been opened to the pain of the world around me. And even though my day to day life hasn’t changed, I don’t think I can ignore that pain any longer. I clear my throat before I speak.
“I don’t know why I’m so interested… But I do know that something is wrong with the way we live. That something is wrong with our world. And I want to know what other options there may be besides our the one we’re all living. I don’t know who you people are, or how you’re doing it, but I do know that you want to bring death back into our world. And that enraged and terrified me at first,” I admit, looking over at Robin. She
flushes at the memory of my violent fury earlier this evening
. I continue. “The idea of people not being able to control every aspect of their lives is really scary. But Robin seemed so sure, and argued with such passion and persuasion, that it got me thinking.” I cough and look back into the stranger’s golden eyes. “I don’t know what I think, but I do know that something needs to change. And maybe your group has the answer.”
We stare at each other for a few moments, no sounds penetrating the bubble of silence surrounding us. Finally, he smiles. Not a huge smile, just a small quirk at the corners of his mouth. He must have liked my answer, because when Robin looks up at him he nods.
“Untie her,” he says, and while Robin begins fiddling with the ropes around my limbs he looks back at me, this time with a genuine smile.
“Miss Hayworth, my name is Darian. Welcome to the base of the Revolutionaries.”

*

Robin extends her hand, helping me to my feet while the redhead, James, protests.
“Boss, you can’t be serious! We’re letting a fucking
Fairy
take a tour?”
He shoots me another look of pure hatred. Is “enraged” his face’s default expression? It could be. But more likely, I’m just lucky and get his anger all to myself.
Darian, who James just identified as the one in charge, shoots an intense look at him. James makes a guttural noise, throws his hands in the air in defeat, and storms out of the room. Relieved that he’s left, I reach my hand to my neck. My heart drops to my stomach when my fingers brush only air and skin.
“Where’s my necklace?” I look down and frantically pat my clothing, like it somehow managed to slip into my pocket. I look up and Robin looks away in shame. “Dammit, Robin,
where
is
my necklace?”
Darian tosses something
—
I throw my hand up just in time to catch the blue pendent in my hand. I let the air out of my lungs in a
whoosh
, relief crashing over me as I cradle it to my chest.
“Sorry, Miss Hayworth,” Darian shrugs, slipping his hands into the front pockets of his dark blue jeans. “We couldn’t have you calling for help. Don’t worry, it’s unharmed, but you won’t be able to contact your partner here. Our safe house protects against any transmissions except through the channels we designate
.
That’s how agents like Robin are able to keep in contact, but no one else is able to detect us.”
I glare at him while draping my necklace around my neck. Logically I know that makes perfect sense, but I still hate the fact that a complete stranger held one of my most treasured belongings.
Darian stares back, not blinking. I really take a look at the leader of these “Revolutionaries”. I would guess that he’s a few decades older than me. Not from any physical features, but from his demeanor and the way he carries himself. He wears a brown plaid button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Fitted denim jeans are slung low on his hips, and his feet are bare. I can’t help but wonder if he’s cold in the chill of the caves. Compared to Primary Godfather Johnson, the leader of
my
organization who is always dressed in tailored suits, this leader seems much more laid back and less concerned about appearances. He jerks his head back, indicating that I should follow him, and walks out of the room. I pause, unsure of what to do, but then I remember that I have no idea where I am. Even if I wanted to escape, I have no clue where the exit is.
I take a calming breath, hold my pendent tight in my hand, and set off after the mysterious man.

*

Robin walks beside me while we head down a stone hallway. Timber beams press against the walls, supporting the human tunnel that was carved into the natural rock.
How far down
are
we?
I wonder. The underground labyrinth is extensive, and numerous tunnels branch off in every direction. I didn’t realize such a vast network existed underneath the city’s feet.
If we are even still in the city
…
Darian’s silhouette is cast in dark shadow ahead of us. He moves forward at a brisk pace without turning back to make sure we follow. There is hardly any light. I’m grateful that the area is clear of any clutter, because I’m sure I would trip over something otherwise.
“Hey, ‘Liza?”
Robin whispers to me hesitantly. I keep looking straight ahead, following our guide, but I do turn my head slightly to show her that I’m listening.
“Yes?”
I wonder what she wants. I’m still hurt that she lied to me and had me knocked out. It’s made me realize, sadly, that there is no real trust in our relationship. Rather, that she has never placed any faith in me.
“I’m, um... Well, I’m sure you’re mad at me,” she starts, clearly uncomfortable.
After our confrontation in the Life Chip room, I realized that her timid, unassuming demeanor was an act while undercover. But this time she really does sound nervous.
“I’m not mad,” I sigh, absentmindedly reaching a hand back to gently prod the back of my head. It isn’t even slightly sore; I’m relieved that my skull has fully healed from the impact of whatever James hit me with. “I understand more than anyone what it’s like to pretend to be what you’re not. I know you did what you had to, but I am sad that there’s never been any friendship between us.”
I clear my throat awkwardly, embarrassed by my raw honesty.
Robin makes a small noise of protest, and whispers again to make sure I’m the only one who can hear her.
“That’s not true—well, I mean, even though I did lie to you about a lot of things, I really do like you. I mean, do you remember when you took me to the park after my first Wish assignment?”
I nod. She continues.
“I was so shocked by everything that had happened that night. I mean, not only did you remember her
husband
, but you actually seemed to care about Mrs. Rogers as a person. And afterwards, when I was freaking out, you proved how much you care by talking about honoring them and remembering their names and everything. I mean, I had no idea that a Godparent could actually, well,
care
about the people they kill.”
I look over at her and give her a wry smile. “So is that why you said I wasn’t what you expected?”
She nods.
“Yeah. I assumed all Godparents just saw their clients as nothing more than files, that all that mattered to them was getting the job done and clocking out. But you said that you remember the names of every person whose Wish you completed, and that you believe you’re honoring them and giving them a gift by helping them die.” She shakes her head with a small, derisive laugh of disbelief. “I think that second part is brainwashing from the higher-ups, but in every interaction I’ve had with you I’ve seen that you care. I know I’ve used that word a lot, but really, it’s the perfect word to describe you.” She looks back up and gives me a smile. “Eliza Hayworth: she
cares
.”
I’m touched, but confused. I thought she hated me, but it turns out that she’s been secretly admiring me.
I stop walking. Robin does too. Darian halts in the distance, but I keep my focus on the woman next to me.
“Thank you, Robin.” I take a deep breath. “Tonight I realized that there’s a lot about this world I haven’t considered. But
…
I also realized that there’s a lot I don’t know about you. How about we start over, and I get to know the real Robin Sun? Not the Robin Sun I thought I knew, but this young woman who is a fierce fighter, passionate in her ideals, and committed to her cause. She’s a stranger to me, but I would like the chance to get to know her.”
I extend my hand, and
Robin’s face lights up in an ear-splitting grin. She places her hand in mine and shakes
it firmly.
“I’d like that, Eliza. I’d like that a lot.”