Death Wish (9 page)

Wish 12

I don’t see Robin for a while after that.
I try everything I can think of to contact her, but it’s like she’s dropped off the map. Harrison tells me not to worry, that she probably just needs some time to herself, but I’m still scared. I had thought the worst reaction she’d have to a Wish would be after her first one, but I was clearly wrong. Robin didn’t move from her rigid fetal position after Ethan Knowles died, and I was still holding her in my arms hours after the clean-up crew removed the body. When we finally got back to Headquarters, she handed me the gore-crusted Chip and left without a word.
I went to her apartment a few hours later, but she was nowhere to be found.
Now I’m sitting alone in
The Roasted Roost
, mentally berating myself for taking Robin on that Wish completion. My drink sits untouched on the table, any heat it once held now long gone.
I had thought having Robin complete a gruesome Wish would help her adjust to Godparent life more quickly. After all, it would be better if she had me there to help rather than going through such a horrible Wish by herself. Right? I reach my hand to my shoulder and lightly brush my fingertips over the deep scars hidden by my blouse. I didn’t want her to be alone for a terrifying Wish like I was all those years ago. But now... Now I’m not so sure my decision to take her to a fire Wish was a smart one.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I mutter under my breath.
“Sorry, who’s stupid?”
I look up to find Kelly, one of the baristas, standing over me with a smile.
“Oh, just me, Kells,” I say, trying to return her grin. But it won’t stay put so I look away. Kelly grabs the chair on the other side of the table and pulls it over so she can sit next to me. She rests the pitcher of cream she was carrying next to my room-temperature coffee.
“Well that can’t be right. How could my best customer be stupid?”
“Best customer?” I turn back to her with a tired smirk.
“Oh yeah.” She nods. “You’re in here so much that you’re basically paying my rent. So what’s wrong?”
I shrug. “Godmother stuff. Can’t really talk about it.”
Kelly nods in understanding and doesn’t press. I look down at the table and see a small plastic rectangle next to my mug.
“Oh cool, did you get a new phone?” I’m glad for a change in topic.
“Oh my gosh
yes
,” she squeals. “Isn’t it
adorable
? I got it last week and it’s basically been glued to my fingers ever since.”
She lifts the phone from the table with one perfectly manicured hand to show me. The screen lights up with the press of a button, and although she’s still raving about all of its features I’m not listening. Her phone’s wallpaper has my attention completely captured.
“Kelly, what’s that?” I point to the strange picture on the screen.
“Hm?” She stops her gushing and looks down. When she sees what I’m looking at she laughs.
“Oh, isn’t that cool? I found it in a book that was written centuries ago and decided it
had
to be my background.”
The picture shows a strange yellow object on top of a slim green stick. The yellow part has a ruffle-edged cup in the center with five points bursting away from it.
“But what is it?”
My fingers hover above the screen. Even though I know it’s a picture, the object looks smooth and I want to touch it.
“It’s called a
flower
,” she explains. “I guess there used to be a ton of them in the Old World, but they died out a long time ago. This one was called a daffodil.”
I’ve heard Harrison mention flowers before, but I’ve never seen a picture of one. I’m taken back by how gorgeous it is, and I feel a twinge of sadness when I hear they’re all gone.
“Why did they die out?” I ask, still staring at the picture.
“Not sure. I heard that they stopped growing when cities took over all of their natural habitats. Then, sometime after that, they couldn’t be grown artificially because something in our atmosphere is toxic to them.”
I look back at Kelly to find her staring at the picture wistfully. She catches me staring and grins excitedly.
“Do you want to see other flowers?”
I nod, suddenly desperate to know what else was left behind in the Old World. We sit at my table, and Kelly slowly brings me out of my sadness as we pass the hours seeing the beauty that has been lost to the ages. Even though Robin is still out of reach and the maniac who shut off the Smith’s Life Chips is still on the loose, seeing the flowers and laughing with the energetic barista causes my worries to fade slightly. It’s just a little bit, but that small feeling of relief is enough to push me forward and keep me going in spite of the sadness and confusion I feel deep inside.

*

After I leave the cafe, images of roses and peonies swimming in my brain, I head to Robin’s apartment. She wasn’t there when I came by yesterday, but I hope she’ll be there today. I’m so lost in my thoughts about flowers and worries about my protege that I don’t even notice the two Godparents walking in my direction until I slam into one of them.
“Ouch! Geez, Hayworth, pay attention much?”
I shake out of my reverie to find Trixie rubbing her shoulder while glaring at me. Her partner, Theodore, looks down his nose at me. His cold hazel eyes are condescending even in his silence.
“So, where’s your new helper monkey, Hayworth?”
Theodore breaks his silence to look over my shoulder as if he expects Robin to materialize behind me. I force myself to keep my features neutral at the insult to my trainee.
“Didn’t you hear, Theo?” Trixie smirks, crossing her lightly tanned arms over her petite frame. “Hayworth gave the newbie a fire Wish, and the weakling ran away crying.”
I grit my teeth. Theodore laughs.
“Seriously?” His voice is incredulous. “That made her freak? Fires are always my favorite.”
“Mine too,” agrees Trixie. “I always crave burgers after them.”
She runs her tongue across her pale pink lips and I hold back a grimace. Trixie and Theo have always seemed to like their jobs as Godparents a little
too
much, and the sadistic enjoyment they get from violent deaths sets my nerves on edge.
“So you still can’t find your little tagalong, huh? What kind of mother hen are you,
Godmother Hayworth
?”
Theodore leans down so his face is inches away from mine. He’s smiling cruelly, and it takes all of my willpower to keep from slapping the smirk from his face. Instead, I roll my eyes and place my hand on his chest, gently pushing him to the side so I can move forward.
“I don’t have time for games,
Theo
,” I say, intentionally using Trixie’s pet name for her partner. “Maybe we can play later.”
His breath whistles between his teeth in a sharp
tch
, but Trixie laughs behind him.
“Sounds good, Blue,” she calls as I leave them behind. “Sounds good.”

*

I get to Robin’s apartment and am about to knock on her door when I hear voices on the other side. I stop, my knuckles hovering over the smooth metal, and try to make out the words.
“You’re doing great, Robin.”
“I don’t know if I can keep doing this...”
“I know it’s hard, but you have to keep going.”
“I just... I wish it was like the Old World. So I didn’t have to do this anymore...”
The first voice I hear is deep and male, while the second is obviously Robin. Their voices are both muffled by the door, but Robin’s voice sounds thicker than normal. I wonder if she’s been crying. I’m about to leave, just relieved to know that Robin is here and has someone to talk to, but then the door opens. I freeze and drop my hand uselessly to my side.
“Oh? Who’s this?”
A man stands in the doorway of Robin’s apartment. He has bright gold eyes and a mop of curly black hair. His skin is lightly tanned, and he is as tall as I am. I’m frozen, unable to find my words. Robin pops up behind the stranger.
“Eliza!”
She says my name with a gasp, obviously shocked by my presence outside her apartment. She glances between me and the stranger nervously, like she never intended for me to meet him. I wonder if he’s a secret lover.
The man, however, looks perfectly comfortable and puts on a charming smile.
“So
you’re
Eliza,” he says, and extends a hand. “I’m Robin’s brother. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
The
only
similarity between Robin and this man is the color of their hair, so I immediately know that he’s lying. I raise an eyebrow while taking his hand.
“Funny, you don’t look related.”
Robin still looks nervous, but the man laughs.
“Well we technically aren’t. I’m her
adopted
brother.” He lets go of my hand and turns back to Robin. “I have to get going but I’ll see you later,
little sister
.”
She blushes and he walks past me. I watch him move down the hallway, and when he’s out of sight I turn back to Robin. She’s only ever mentioned a mother, younger sister, and dead father as her family, and I don’t understand why she would neglect to mention a brother of any kind. But when I look at her she’s still standing in the entryway, the same look of anxiety on her face. The question about who he really was dies on my lips. If she wants to claim he’s a brother, then I won’t say otherwise. Instead I give her a small smile.
“Hey, Robin. How are you? I haven’t seen you in a few days.”
She nods and looks down, twisting the hem of her grey t-shirt between her fingers. She looks extremely uncomfortable—I wonder if I should leave.
“Um, well, I just wanted to check on you,” I say, brushing my hair behind my ear, suddenly feeling awkward. “Since I haven’t seen you. And I, uh, wanted to let you know that you don’t have to go on any more Wish completions until you’re ready.”
I look down and am horrified to see tears in her eyes.
“Oh my—Oh geez, Robin, I’m—”
She lets out a sob and falls forward. I catch her in my arms and hold her as the floodgates open. She’s weeping into my chest, and I can feel her entire frame shaking through the thin t-shirt and sweatpants she wears. I look around, but the man who was just here is gone, so I’m left to help her on my own. I move her gently back inside the apartment, and when I find her kitchen I help her into a chair at the table. I pull her arms from around me and sit down next to her.
“Hey, Robin, it’s okay,” I say quietly, wishing I knew what to say. I had no idea that Ethan Knowles’ death would affect her this badly.
“Robin, I’m so sorry,” I say, cupping one of my hands over hers. “I never would have taken you on that Wish if I had known this would happen...”
She looks up at me through the tears in her eyes, and I see a small fire of anger behind them.
“Y-you shouldn’t have let him make a Wish like-like that...” She chokes the words out, her sentence fragmented by hiccuping sobs. “H-how could you let him set himself... s-set himself on f-fire...”
The tears in her eyes spill over and she lets out a terrible wail at the memory of the Wish. I reach forward, wanting to comfort her, but she shrinks back at my efforts.
“D-don’t touch me, Eliza,” she says, her eyebrows knitted. She clears her throat, trying to push down the pain to speak clearly. “How am I supposed to be a Godmother if it means that I have to subject people to such—to such terrible pain?”
She stares at me accusingly, incapable of understanding why anyone would choose this life. I find myself shrinking back from her glare, and for the first time in years I’m unable to explain why the life of a Godparent is one worth living.
She looks away and angrily wipes the tears from her cheeks. She pulls her knees to her chest and rests her cheek against her curled knees. Her gaze is pointedly turned away from me. I slump my shoulders in defeat, and stand to leave.
“Wait.”
I almost miss Robin’s whisper, and when I turn she’s still in the same position, curled in the chair with her arms wrapped around her knees. But even though tears are slowly sliding down her cheeks again, her voice is soft and steady.
“I’m sorry, Eliza,” she says, still looking away from me. “I know it isn’t your fault. You aren’t the one who submits the Wishes, and it’s your job to follow them to the letter.”
I nod. But I remember that she can’t see me, so I sit down again. Robin looks at me out of the corner of her eye, still motionless in her chair.
“It’s just... It’s just really hard. I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”
I recall the conversation I overheard her having with the man before I came in. She must have been talking with him about the difficulties of her new job.
“When I was outside,” I say, leaning forward and clasping my hands together, “I heard you talking with your brother about how you wish things were the way they were in the Old World.”
Robin nods in confirmation. I sigh.
“Robin, you... You
can’t
talk about Godparent stuff with civilians. Even if they’re family.”
She looks at me sadly. “I just needed someone to talk to...”
My heart aches for her. She looks so alone.
“I know,” I say. I reach a hand forward, still wanting to comfort her, but I pull it back at the last moment. “But you can’t talk with anyone outside the Organization about what we do. I won’t report you this time, but
please
, Robin, you’ll get into a lot of trouble if you say anything to the wrong people.”
“He isn’t the wrong people...” Robin mutters. I wonder again who that man really was, and why she would claim he was her brother.
“You’re right,” I say, and she finally turns to look at me.
“To Robin the young woman, he isn’t the wrong person. But to Robin the Godmother, he is someone that you can’t ever be one hundred percent honest with. And, unfortunately, Robin the Godmother is who you are now.”
She turns away again, but this time I do touch her shoulder. She doesn’t shrink away from my touch.
“But, hey, I’m Eliza the Godmother. And I’m someone that you can talk to. You can also talk to Harrison the Godfather, Jenny the Godmother, and everyone else who works for the Fairy Godparent Organization.”
She looks at me and I give her a small smile.
“You have to leave your old family behind when you become a Godparent, but you can gain a new family in us. If you’ll let us.”
Her eyes are still sad, but she moves one of her hands and places it over mine.
“Thanks, ‘Liza. I’ll try.”